Snowy Night Kiss

Chapter 34 No Regrets
Jian Yi looked out the window indifferently. The winter landscape was bleak, and the area outside the eastern suburbs was bare. Only the newly transplanted sycamore tree was trembling with new buds.

Jin Yanchen was silent for a moment, and did not refute her words. He reached out and brushed her hair behind her ears. The bedside lamp turned on a warm color, and he lifted the quilt and sat beside her.

"I don't judge your friend, but if she always makes you cry, I won't like it."

Jin Yanchen spoke in a very gentle tone, as if he was coaxing a child. He put his forehead against hers and asked seriously, "Can you tell me how to coax you?"

These words were too sincere, unlike Jin Yanchen's usual style of moving around, but more like a novice who just entered the love world and knew nothing.

Jian Yi lowered her head and pinched his fingertips, saying in a muffled voice, "Why are you asking me? Aren't you supposed to be very experienced?"

Jin Yanchen smiled, bent down to kiss her, pinched her chin and looked at her carefully with squinting eyes.

“It turns out to be sweet.”

Jian Yi refused to say another word. Her mouth was dry and she pulled the quilt over herself and buried herself in it.

Jin Yanchen reached out and pulled her out of the quilt again, but this time he didn't let her escape. He held her in his arms and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"There is no one else."

"Isn't this the first time I've been in love with you?"

It was that familiar tune again. Jin Yanchen put his hand around her waist, calculating when he would supervise her taking medicine next time.

Suddenly I heard Jian Yi say, "Jin Yanchen, I can listen to the truth."

"Anything is fine."

When she said this, Jian Yi could almost hear the sound of her heartbeat. She tightened the bed sheet unconsciously because of nervousness, and she closed her eyes and waited quietly for Jin Yanchen's next words.

She thought that she was probably a very untactful person in this circle, always taking love words as the truth, not seeking eternal love, but only wanting to be consistent.

It was always better for him to explain it clearly than for her to indulge in this fairy-tale love alone.

Jin Yanchen paused for a second, then looked down and saw her pair of watery eyes. She always possessed sharper calmness and intuition than ordinary people. Perhaps it was due to the harsh living environment, but she would only feel at ease after planning for all the bad outcomes in advance.

"I'm not lying to you, you're the only one." Feeling suddenly a little bored, Jin Yanchen casually picked up a mint candy at hand and ate it. His gaze became indifferent, the warmth was gone, and aloofness suddenly emerged.

“I hate all intimacy,” he said.

If he were more affectionate, he should have added an adjective before this sentence.

Before I met you, I hated all intimacy.

Jian Yi believes that no woman in the world can escape the affectionate words of the romantic wanderer. The only destined and fateful love, the following should take it for granted that this is a good match given by heaven, and then be willing to go to this fire.

But Jin Yanchen did not say that. His long eyelashes lightly covered his eyes, and then lingered on her lips, like a lover's whisper, but telling her clearly that I can't love you.

The true love flickers in an instant, like an illusion in the water that is hard to see clearly.

A foolish woman should accept these words tenderly and respond with a lingering kiss, thinking that he is entrusting her true love to her and regard him as the only one; a smart woman should also lie on his chest and be humble to test how sincere he is.

Jian Yi does not belong to any of these types of people. Even though hearing these words made her blood run cold, she was thankful thinking that Jin Yanchen was truly sincere to her today.

He gave all the sincerity and vanity he could give.

The rest that cannot be given may really be a deserted place in his heart.

The moment their eyes met, they both saw another side of themselves in each other's eyes.

It was a barren wasteland, where true love had long been exhausted. They were wandering corpses, drawn together by the same aura. "I don't care."

Jian Yi looked at him steadily, her eyes were like water and also like a fire, shining with a calm luster, and then suddenly engulfed by the flames of emotion. Then, her overly bright eyes made her whole face covered with a layer of beautiful luster that made people unable to look away.

"It seems that everyone is obsessed with a good ending. But Jin Yanchen..." Jian Yi called his name so seriously for the first time. She opened her soul to him, and her calm expression was unusually serious.

"I am different from everyone else. I only care about the present moment and am happy. Just like a moth flying into a flame, as long as I am satisfied at the moment I fly into it, I am willing to do it."

Obviously her words were full of affection, but for some reason Jin Yanchen read determination and boldness in her resolute eyes.

It was the beginning of a prepared farewell, an unreserved giving, and an indulgence in willingness to sink.

The feeling of not being able to grasp it made him panic for a moment, but he quickly turned his face away and said in a relaxed tone, "You are not very old, but you think clearly."

"It's not that I'm insightful, it's that I really haven't thought about the future."

Jian Yi closed her eyes, and at that moment many memories from the past came flooding back. She recalled how she was discriminated against by her schoolmates because she had not seen her parents for many years. She also recalled how she was forced to live with her aunt at home when she first came to Kyoto because her family's house was not big enough, and she was almost raped by her uncle.

There are many, many tiny ones that are enough to make her question why she was born and cause her despair and collapse.

These things happened a long time ago. Lying quietly beside Jin Yanchen, Jian Yi sometimes felt as if she was in another world.

She rarely said in a bright tone: "Life is like that. You may die in the next second."

The next second, Jin Yanchen held her tightly in his arms.

He didn't say a word, but his arms held her like iron chains.

There was silence for a long time, and the last star fell into the wilderness, flashing by like a shooting star. At this moment, neither of them knew the prayers in each other's hearts.

At this moment of silence, Aunt Ling knocked on the door and came in. She was probably worried that Jian Yi would be bored staying in the room alone, so she brought the chessboard from the living room over.

She was very careful when she took it, and made sure not to mess up the chessboard.

Taking the small table and placing it on her knees, Aunt Ling pretended not to notice the atmosphere between the two of them, and still said with a smile, "This chess game was set up many years ago, and no one has ever solved it."

Jian Yi became interested. She glanced at Jin Yanchen and asked with great interest, "Should I play black or white?"

Jin Yanchen glanced at her. He was still feeling the aftermath of his previous words. His tone was a little colder, and it was obvious that his mind was wandering. "It's up to you."

"Then let's go black."

Jin Yanchen couldn't help but remind her: "Black pieces are bound to lose."

"Then I will have no regrets."

Jin Yanchen couldn't help but look at her. Her temperament was as pure as the snow on the mountains, but she also had a kind of warm and open sincerity.

This love, tempered by calmness and rationality, seems more touching than any true love in the world.

The cicadas outside the house are chirping non-stop, I wonder whose true heart is fragile.

There was a hint of astonishment in Jin Yanchen's calm eyes. He rubbed the agarwood beads on his wrist and looked over indifferently.

Jian Yi looked at him with her clear eyes from beginning to end. Her love was clear, and the limits and boundaries were clearly defined. She told him frankly and clearly: "I love you regardless of the consequences, but I also clearly understand that I will not be entangled with you for a long time."

At this moment, alarm bells rang in his heart——
(End of this chapter)