Alice in the Land of Steam

Chapter 157: Does this memory bring you strength?
After that day, I recalled this memory many times, but I still couldn't understand why my father wanted me to cry that day. Which kind of courage is the real courage, the courage he talked about or the courage my teacher taught me? I want to know the answer, but it seems that no one can answer it for me.

In the first ten years after entering the castle, I could not forget the self-blame and worry in my father's eyes when he looked at me for the last time. I knew that I was not a qualified daughter. Although I made this choice with the intention of doing something for my parents, my country and my people, it made the person who loved me the most in the world deeply worried.

In fact, I often wonder, if I didn't ask him why at that time, but listened to him, cried when I felt sad and helpless, and bravely faced my tears, would he be more relieved? But such an assumption seems meaningless, because people can't go back to the past, especially me. I can't even walk out of this castle, find my father, and say to him with a smile: I have learned to cry.

People's regrets cannot change the plot that has already happened in the story, so I can only hold on to such regrets and continue to face the dark life in the castle alone. Time is moving forward, or perhaps stagnant. When floating on the river, the past is silent, like fragments, being washed away bit by bit.

I gradually forgot what expression was in my father's eyes that day; I forgot what I felt in my heart that day; in the end, I even forgot what topic my father and I talked about that day? Was it him who said he felt sorry for me? Or was it me who calmly comforted him that I was used to it?
None of this matters, because I get used to loneliness gradually. Those mottled silhouettes that look like branching trees will eventually disappear into the depths of my memory one day, as if they had never been there.

should be.

But why do I still feel so sad and helpless?

I am so sad that I want to tell everyone, I am sad; I am just as helpless that I want to tell everyone, I am helpless. Although the teacher's words echoed again and again, she said that in the face of the cruelty of the world, saying "I want to survive" is brave, but if one is just desperately living, desperately comforting oneself, and desperately fighting against those things that make people despair... it is meaningless, right?
So, I seem to understand you, father.

I really want to... cry.

***
The giant wolf standing on top of the stone pillar quietly watched the blizzard of moonlight sweep across the entire arena, swallowing up the light from the braziers and lanterns. His face was expressionless, but a hint of regret appeared in his eyes.

The same goes for the Princess of Beman. Time has taken away so many things from her that she has forgotten everything she should have remembered.

HP: 59/750.

That’s it, huh?
He wanted to turn around and no longer face this destined ending.

The giant wolf subconsciously stopped and stared at the thin and lonely figure without blinking. He saw her suddenly take a step, struggling, difficult, but also determined, towards the stone pillar where he stood. Her steps were very slow, like a traveler stumbling in a snowstorm, with the wind blowing on her cheeks and the snow blocking her vision, but she still insisted on walking her own way.

However, the wolf suddenly saw in his eyes that in the depths of the moonlit blizzard, the girl, who had given up resistance and allowed the moon and snow to cut her body, slowly raised her head as if inspired by someone's call, and the holy sword in her hand released a pale blue glow.

HP: 58/750.

HP: 57/750.

He is a memory of the past, representing the emotions of those cowards and testing their courage. But human courage is an illusory thing, invisible and intangible, so people often turn a deaf ear to it and forget their original intentions.

The sharp wind and snow swords ravaged her already scarred body, leaving more tiny wounds that were shocking to the sight.

Because she knew where the end was, she no longer had any hesitation or confusion.

……

The wolf could not see the changes in these values, but he could sense that the girl's vitality was slipping away. He could not help but say, "Do you still want to persist, Princess of Beman? This is meaningless. Even if you survive this snowstorm, you can't defeat me. So, as I said just now, admitting your cowardice is not a shameful thing. On the contrary, it is a precious courage..."

"You are wrong." The girl who was trudging on her way interrupted him. Her voice, tempered by the wind and snow, pierced through the howling silver wind and reached the ears of the giant wolf, showing her determination and belief: "Although you said the same words as your father, what he wanted to convey was definitely not this!"

Step forward with such determination: "Admitting your cowardice does not mean giving up, because it is easy to run away out of fear, but nothing can be changed; only after admitting your cowardice and bravely making changes can it be considered true courage!"

He took another step forward, his eyes clear and bright: "So, my father wanted to tell me that day that if you pretend to be strong because you don't want others to worry about you, it will only expose your weakness and make those who love you deeply unable to truly let go of their worries; the meaning of crying and tears is to tell them that I am bravely facing the cruelty of this world, and then become stronger."

Not getting stronger, but becoming tougher.

Because, no matter how strong you are, those who should leave will leave you one day. At that time, powerful strength can't help you save anything, but will make you hate your weakness even more.

Only a strong heart that can bear all the pain without falling can help you cheer up after shedding your tears, greet the future life with a smile, and allow those who love you deeply to leave without regrets and worries.

and so.

“Tears are sorrow, but also blessings.”

An unknown number of steps she took before the girl stretched out her hand to tear through the snow and wind, reappearing in front of the giant wolf. Her body was covered with brilliant golden light, which was brighter than the sun, as if she were wearing a sacred armor. The veins of a leaf stretched out like winding, retro patterns, and her leaf-shaped battle skirt collided with each other in the wind, making crisp sounds. Gorgeous golden silk threads flowed behind her, gradually weaving into a huge and complex network of light, like the outstretched wings of a bird in the sky, scattering dim and brilliant spots of light.

“Although you may feel sad sometimes and lose the desire to live in this world, and therefore shed tears and feel lost, after crying, you must keep moving forward, deeply love all those who love you as well, and don’t let them down. If you are always afraid to stop, then you are not facing the truth of reality!”

The girl wearing the holy armor of light gently swung her sword, and the brilliant light from the pale blue blade swept past in an instant, splitting the wind and snow behind her in two. Then the howling cold wind stopped, and the silver moonlight faded like the tide, returning to the shadow of the crescent moon.

An unprecedented surging force surged in the girl's bright brows, warm breath, and even every fluttering hair, causing those platinum-colored beams of power to transform into smooth and graceful silk threads, playing the prelude to a counterattack.

【Drawing strength from past memories, you gain the courage to "surpass yourself."】

[Surpass Yourself: Increases all your attributes to 300% of the base value; makes all your attacks no longer cause stiffness; makes all your skills exempt from MP consumption; increases the speed of your ATP tank growth by 100%; makes all enemy positions considered as dangerous areas; while this state lasts, your health will not return to zero. Remaining duration: 180 seconds.]

Olvera, current HP: 1/750.

"This is--"

The girl raised her sword and drew a beautiful arc in front of her eyes. The next moment, she rushed over, stepped lightly on the broken stone bricks of the square, jumped high, and swung the sword towards the giant wolf on the top of the stone pillar, tearing through the sound of the wind, accompanied by an unwavering tone: "My father told me, no, tell everyone!"

“Our true courage!!!”

laugh--

The sword sweeps across, and the glory overflows forever.

　Give me some meow
　　
　
(End of this chapter)