Alice in the Land of Steam

Chapter 176 Are You the Source of Pain?

Olvera never thought that she would see a face here that was familiar yet somewhat strange in her memory, and that her cold eyes pierced her heart. The enchanting datura flowers slowly bloomed at the corners of her harsh and contemptuous mouth, making people feel as if they were suffocating in the deep sea. They struggled to escape, but could not see any light.

"How... is it possible?" The princess' voice trembled, her body trembled, even the fingertips holding the holy book were shaking, as if she had lost the faith to continue fighting: "Are you, the mother? Why are you appearing... here? I clearly remember that she has..."

"She's dead."

The woman standing alone on the ruins of the tower spoke with a chilling voice: "She died of an incurable disease. Before she died, she said in person that she hoped you could live a carefree life like an ordinary girl. These are her last words that you heard, Your Highness."

Olvera's face turned pale. She subconsciously avoided her arrogant and pressing gaze and whispered something, as if to convince her enemy or to comfort herself: "Yes, my mother... died of illness. My father and I both heard her last words. She was buried in the royal cemetery. Every year, I would go and present her with a bouquet of flowers... So, I know that you can't be her, absolutely not..."

"Of course I'm not her, not your mother."

Regarding this point, the other party never thought of denying it, because her purpose of appearing here was not to pretend to be a ghost of the past and disturb Olvera's mind with those specious words. This behavior was superficial and too shallow. The deeper hurt is often branded in the depths of the soul, forgotten unintentionally, vaguely knowing that it exists, but never daring to touch it, for fear that after opening the scar, it will be bloody and painful.

"I am a phantom, a trace of existence, and a memory of the past."

The thin woman stretched out a hand, grasped the lightning spear that pierced her abdomen, and with a little force, she easily broke it. The surging lightning turned into electric snakes that scattered all over the sky. From the empty wound, one could see boundless darkness rising up, engulfing the remains of countless towers. The cold wind howled, like the wailing of a dying beast.

She suddenly took a step forward, trudging through the ruins with difficulty, and walked towards Avra ​​step by step. The latter, on the contrary, kept backing away, her eyes panicking: "I don't understand, I don't understand what you are talking about... Mother died of illness, everyone knows it... If, if you continue to use her appearance and say these inexplicable words, then I, then I..."

but.

Even though she is an enemy with the face of my mother, I will never show mercy.

"Ah!" Olvera looked away in panic, with pity and fear in her eyes. Although she knew that the person in front of her was just an illusion and not her real mother, she still felt scared and helpless when she saw such serious injuries on a person with her mother's face, even though such injuries were caused by her own hands.

She was silent for a moment, then bit her lower lip gently: "I can only destroy you."

She raised her cold eyes and looked directly at Avra's face. Seeing that she was still avoiding her gaze and not daring to face it, the corners of her mouth twitched and revealed a sarcastic smile: "This is not surprising. After all, you have been doing the same thing for a long time. The hurt is eternal, and the pain is numb. The meaning of my birth, the meaning of my appearance, and the meaning of my fighting, all settled in such numb pain until today when it awakened your memory."

"What are you afraid of?" the woman said to her, reaching out to cover the wound on her abdomen. It was very strange. There was no blood at all when she was pierced by the lightning spear just now, but when she pressed her hand on it, bright red blood immediately flowed out from between her fingers, as if indicating that she had turned from an illusion into a real human being.

"Since you have overcome that memory of cowardice, you have proven that you have the power of courage. However, has the courage you have gained made you lose the confidence to even look at the enemy? Or is this something that has nothing to do with courage? You are afraid not because you are not brave enough, but because you know that you can only be afraid. You are afraid of seeing your mother, seeing her struggling painfully with scars and illness. That will make you feel... guilty and self-blame, right?"

"How could such firm words come out of your mouth? It seems that you did get the definition of courage from that cowardly memory. Unfortunately, in the end, you interpreted its meaning in such a sad way."

The black magician did not even shift her sight, dragging her severely injured body forward step by step, creating ripples in the darkness. She kept approaching, while Olvera kept retreating. Between the advance and retreat, it was hard to tell who was truly in the upper hand and who was facing a failed outcome.

Alice, who was in the same team, saw this scene and was extremely anxious: "Don't listen to her nonsense, Olvera! Kill her quickly! Damn it, it's like this again, she can't hear me!" After entering the plot dialogue, the teammates' voices were automatically blocked by the system. Sometimes Alice couldn't figure out whether this game system was here to help her or the enemy.

She looked at Ovilla, who was forced, questioned, and kept retreating, but still couldn't chant any magic. She felt vaguely uneasy and asked anxiously, "What should we do now, Lingge?"

"There's nothing we can do." Ling Ge replied, "The only thing we can do is to trust her."

After a pause, he added: "Ovilla has passed the test of courage. She will not be afraid of fighting."

“That’s true!” Alice seemed to be convinced by him. She calmed down a little and said bitterly, “You must be brave, Olvera. You must not lose to that guy!”

Lingge did not agree. He suddenly thought: Can courage and fighting solve all problems?
If only the game were that simple.

……

As Olvera was retreating, her back suddenly bumped into something hard and cold. She turned back in a hurry and found that she had retreated into the shadow of a tall tower. What she had just bumped into was the wall of the tower. Those dark and cold bricks were piled together, and under the light of the lantern, they faintly glowed with a cold luster.

"No way out?"

The enemy also stopped, and the face that looked exactly like her mother's was filled with contempt and coldness. In Olvera's memory, her mother would never show such a cold expression, so she was indeed a fake, just an illusion.

But why am I so scared even when facing an illusion?

“Hoo, hoo!”

The girl's breathing was rapid, the air in her lungs was almost sucked out, and she was a little breathless.

"Unworthiness, filth, numbness, guilt, self-blame, uncleanness, cruelty, pain, anger... everything will accumulate and become a mask of disguise. Sometimes, after pretending for too long, even you will forget it. But does that mean that what is forgotten does not exist? Of course not. The wound has always been there and has never disappeared. It's just that sometimes the pain will be deliberately ignored and become a self-deceiving premonition."

"Let me tell you, all painful memories must have a source."

Her voice was cold and sharp, as if a pair of scissors could easily tear apart fragile paper and expose those pretending to be strong: "The Queen of Berman did die on her sickbed, but everyone knows that she did not die of illness, but of a sad fate. And you, Your Highness Olvera, it was you who brought about that fate, causing her to struggle with injuries and illness, and eventually killing her own mother with your own hands."

"In other words, you are the source of all the pain she's going through."

　Give me some meow
　　
　
(End of this chapter)