Alice in the Land of Steam

Chapter 177: Is it starlight that falls from the sky, or is it your memory?
As she finished speaking, Ovilla's heartbeat stopped suddenly, and only various noises were constantly amplified: the sound of heavy and difficult breathing, the dripping sound of falling sand, the crackling sound of burning branches...all seemed to echo in a huge glass house, noisy and bustling.

She could even hear the low rumble of the waves surging in her hollow chest, swallowing up her few memories and leaving her mind blank. The sea water was icy cold, and when she reached out to touch it, it would freeze her delicate fingertips and erode every fragile blood vessel.

"I do not know what you're talking about……"

She grasped the edge of the holy book with shaking hands, making dense wrinkles on the pages, and said to the woman who was looking at her with contempt and coldness in a trembling voice: "You are like this, using the face of a mother, but always saying some incomprehensible words... This is blasphemy, I can't forgive it. So, I want you to..."

She swallowed hard. Although the content was an ultimatum, her tone was not confident at all. Instead, it gave people a feeling of panic and humility: "Pay... the price..."

When she said the word "price", her voice was already inaudible, and it could not arouse any echo in the darkness. But the woman with a motherly face heard it, and the sneer on her lips became more sarcastic: "That's good, you can try it. I think if you can really do this, the deceased queen will also be pleased with you. The only problem is..."

Can you do it?
call--!
The whistling wind blade suddenly passed by her cheek, cut off a strand of hair, and turned into black mist and dissipated.

"I see." The woman reached out her hand and gently twisted the severed hair. "Can I understand this as a warning? If I don't shut up, you're going to get serious? In that case, why not get serious right from the start? Since we're already on the enemy's side, there's no need to hesitate, or... you can't do it?"

She stared at the princess of Beman with a look that was not malicious but extremely cold. The latter had a blank and confused face: she had clearly launched an attack at the enemy's head, but why, at the most critical moment, the magic she released deviated from the direction, causing it to pass by the opponent's cheek by a millimeter?
Could it be that he couldn't do it because the other person had the same face as his mother?

But she knew clearly in her heart that she was not her real mother.

"And this is the fate that should have been borne by you!"

"Of course you can't."

Olvera was stunned.

"Let me tell you, it's not a disease, it's a curse."

The real mother had long since died of injuries and fell on the soft sickbed. Her death was even earlier than when he entered the castle. It was her death that made his already tired father even more exhausted. In just one night, he seemed to have aged twenty years and was no longer able to bear those overly heavy responsibilities and emotions.

And the woman in front of me is just a fake...

"Obviously he died of illness?"

The woman stared at Olvera, her indifferent eyes were like dust standing in the sky looking down at the ground: "Because you killed your mother, causing her life, which should have been beautiful, to die prematurely with a sad fate. You still have guilt and self-blame in your heart, which gradually brews into regret. Even though you know that the enemy standing in front of you is just a fake, you still can't make up your mind to draw a clear line with the memories of the past."

The woman twitched her lips in disdain. "But have you never thought about where her illness came from? Have you ever thought about why her illness cannot be cured? Have you ever heard anyone say what kind of illness she has that requires her to stay in her room every day, trapped on the bed, in a daze, and rarely sober... Have you never thought about all these questions?"

She took a step forward and broke into the light of the lantern, with a cold and contemptuous expression on her face. Since she appeared, this woman has never concealed her malice towards Olvera. Perhaps, that is her instinct: "She gave birth to you, so she was corrupted by the power of darkness and infected with the same curse. But she is different from you. You are the one who the master who created us said "cannot be harmed". Therefore, even if the curse troubles your life, it will never hurt you. Your poor mother replaced you and became the only victim. She was tortured by the curse and could only stay on the sickbed, letting her body gradually turn cold and fall into the abyss of death and terror visible to the naked eye..."

"I don't!"

"Yes, you don't know. When your mother was entangled in pain, you were still growing up freely in the sunshine, feeling that your childhood was so lonely, without playmates, without family affection, and no one willing to listen to your voice... You only lamented your own misfortune, but never considered her feelings, because you are a selfish child, Olvera."

She suddenly raised her voice, causing Avella's body to tremble and her eyes to shrink: "No, I don't know... I never knew such a thing..."

Aoweila couldn't help but open her mouth to refute. After meeting the other party's eyes, she subconsciously shrank her neck, her eyes wandered and avoided, and whispered: "I didn't kill my mother, she was obviously..."

"I'm not……"

"You are still making excuses for yourself. You are really selfish. The pain you have not experienced has nothing to do with you. Is that what you want to say, Olivia?"

Her footsteps echoed hollowly on the cold ground, and the shadow gradually approached the girl, like a monster walking out of her past memories. "But you do know, and you know it very clearly. You knew from the beginning that you were the one who killed your mother. So from the day she died, you have been tortured by anxiety, guilt, and self-blame. Every night you see your mother's face and hear her voice, and you are almost driven crazy by the remorse in your heart. You are completely different from your mother. She is very strong. She knew that giving birth to this child might cause her great pain, but she was still willing to take responsibility for a life. But you are very fragile, so naturally you can't bear such pain. When you encounter difficulties, your first choice is often to escape, and the second is to forget."

“So, you forgot.”

The woman stopped walking. She was only one step away from Olvera. She gently reached out her hand, pinched the girl's cheek, turned her timid gaze around, forced her to look at her, and said expressionlessly, "You selectively forgot the real cause of your mother's death and attributed it to a simple illness, as if you could stay out of it and be indifferent. But those forgotten memories did not disappear, but moved to another place, and gradually fermented, brewed, and condensed, and finally gave birth to... me."

"I am a phantom, a trace of the past, and a memory that remains in your heart, reminding you of the things you have forgotten. Your guilty words, self-blaming tears, and regretful mood that day have shaped me into who I am now. Look at my face carefully, Olvera."

She gazed deeply into the girl's nebula-like eyes. From those clear colors, a cold, indifferent, majestic and mean face was reflected: "Why does the mother created by your memory have such an expression? Because you are always afraid in your subconscious mind, afraid that your mother will use such a stern expression and such an indifferent tone to accuse you of being a disobedient child who never knows how to care about your mother; accuse you of being the source of disasters and leaving only painful memories for your mother; accuse you of being a coward who is used to escaping, because you can't face the past bravely, so you forget those things that are obviously very important... Awkward, painful, regretful, escapist, you are a person who lives in these emotions, Ovella, like a child who will never grow up."

"The purpose of my existence here is to make you understand that you are a sinner who has committed evil deeds and is not allowed to move forward. Do you think that the only thing that traps you in this cage is the curse? Do you think that those who voluntarily walk in here are great and sacrificial? That is just atonement. Before you atone for your sins, you can never move forward, never go beyond this place, and never covet those things that are out of reach. Because you are guilty and a sinner."

"Atonement...?" Olvera murmured.

"That's right, atonement. That's the only meaning of your life." The woman with a mother's face let go of her hand. Olvera lost her support, her body pressed against the cold wall, and she sat weakly on the ground.

She saw the shadow of the woman raise her hand, pointing to the swaying and twinkling starry night, and said coldly: "Every star in the sky is your sin. Let the stars devour the suffering of the world, which is the redemption of sin."

Are the stars in the sky your sins?
Ovilla raised her head blankly, staring at the night sky. The stars were twinkling and the gems were shining, extremely bright.

The tower behind her suddenly began to tremble. To be more precise, every tower was trembling. Then, the gems on the top of the tower also swayed, and the starlight gathered together like the tide of the ocean, creating surging ripples. Those stars grew bigger and brighter in the eyes of the girl. When they fell to the earth together, the starburst would probably annihilate all the darkness in an instant, right? Only such a sacred and blazing light could cleanse the sins of sinners.

The woman's low and solemn voice penetrated the noisy eardrums, as cold as ice water: "This is the sacred power bestowed upon us by our Lord. It is the essence of the world of darkness—"

“O phantom star and moon, please give the sinners the judgment they deserve under this complex starlight!”

[Phantom Star and Moon - Infinite Sin: The sacred power bestowed by the Creator, with this starlight, brings the annihilation of all suffering to the enemy, the most distant pursuit, and the redemption of the world's sins.]

Although Alice and Ringer in her mind kept reminding her to cheer up and not be defeated by the enemy's words, Olvera could not hear them. She leaned against the outer wall of the tower weakly, staring blankly at the sea of ​​stars falling from the sky, as if trying to find the direction of their tides. Her mother's face appeared in her mind again, clear but vague. At least, although she remembered what she looked like, she had forgotten what her expression was at that time.

Perhaps, as she said, she was very disappointed that she gave birth to such an ignorant child?
I have given so much and taken on so much for her, but I have not received the due return.

The right thing for a child who has made a mistake is to correct it in time. So, she will correct it, at least before her mother forgives her, she should not have unrealistic expectations. The stars devouring the pain of the world is the redemption of sin.

The sea of ​​stars was getting closer and closer, so close that she could almost touch the dim starlight with her hands, and feel that they had the burning temperature of tears. The tide was surging, swallowing up many faces that were once vivid. Those things that made her feel guilty, blamed herself, and regretted... were all pressing on her, making her breathless.

I squinted my eyes tiredly, but someone's words rang in my ears, and then I saw a familiar scene.

There was a hint of confusion in the princess' eyes.

She suddenly felt that the stars before her eyes were the same stars she had seen in the past in the same place.

And, it was seen by the same person.

After those mottled years passed like the tide, her face emerged from the sea of ​​memory and touched someone's tears.

　Give me some meow
　　
　
(End of this chapter)