god level spoof

() Li Ye, who came out of the Shibei Mental Hospital, was in a bad mood.

Don't get me wrong, Li Ye is not mentally ill, neither are his father and his mother. The reason why they came here is mainly to place a person named 'Huoyun Cthulhu' inside.

That's right, it was the guy who could hold the bullet with two fingers, uttered the famous saying, "In martial arts in the world, everything is invincible, only speed can't break it", and finally fell down by the Tathagata God.

We have to start from the beginning.

As usual, Li Ye hurried to Tianyu Media Film and Television Company after school. On the way, an old beggar on the side of the road reached out and grabbed Li Ye's arm.

At that moment, Li Ye's body trembled for no reason. It was a feeling of being targeted by wild beasts. He subconsciously broke away from the old beggar's hand full of ultra-modernism, and was about to run away.

"Little friend, I think you have amazing bones, and you are a unique martial arts genius... From now on, the task of maintaining world peace will be entrusted to you."

What a familiar opening sentence, if you are reluctant to leave, at least Li Ye stopped, took out a few dollars from his pocket, and looked at the old man: "Oh, this is it, how much is a copy of Tathagata God's Palm? As for the Nine Yin Mantra, isn’t it cheaper…”

The old beggar shook his head mysteriously: "Then the Tathagata God's Palm and the Nine Yin Scriptures are all deceiving children, and I am a god—may I ask, do you want to be a god too?"

"..." Li Ye stared at the old beggar's face for [-] seconds, and finally choked out a sentence: "God? What a good job, you old man should keep it for yourself?"

But the master is the master, and what the old beggar said next made Li Ye love, uh, worship him for no reason.

"Your underwear is red, yellow and blue stripes + a cannon pattern on the front + a capital letter 's' pattern on the left + a capital letter 'm' pattern on the right + a chrysanthemum pattern on the back."

As soon as this remark came out, thousands of waves were shocked immediately. The eyes of the aunts, girls, old men and hairy children in the streets, alleys and alleys all fell on Li Ye, and the power of nuclear radiation was no less powerful than that of a nuclear radiation. (This is a pure adjective) Li Ye sprayed (purely exaggerated) blood on his face.

Without further ado, Li Ye grabbed the old beggar and ran away. The scene and picture can be compared to the marriage snatching scene in a soap opera.

Speaking of which, the underwear Li Ye is wearing today is actually what the old beggar described. Of course, Li Ye is not a pervert.

During these three days, Li Ye was extremely careful and confident: no one knew this secret...

Back to topic.

After arriving at the 'safe' zone, Li Ye calmed down and asked, "Old man, how do you know?"

"I don't need to waste time explaining such a simple matter."

The old beggar picked up the topic, and then the dream of God, the object is the daughter of the great god Pangu——Pan Nu, this matter is not a big deal, but Pan Nu is already pregnant with your child, so a meeting was held in the Hongmeng Realm Discuss a very serious issue of social morality and ethics: how to treat a person who should be a god but has not yet become a god and has a child with a god when he is about to be born but has not yet been born. "

As a high school student, Li Ye dare not say that he is knowledgeable enough to know everything, but he still understands some common sense of physiology - Li Ye began to doubt whether the old beggar in front of him is a tenth-level mental patient, and what he said just now hit him The color of the underwear is probably just a one-in-a-million coincidence.

"So, now you have three options: the first option is that you can become a time traveler, and you will be given a real artifact (ordinary weapon in Hongmeng Realm) + upgrade system (ordinary smart computer in Hongmeng Realm), and then you just need to It is enough to cultivate to become a god, remember, at least one must become a great god of Pangu's level.

Li Ye was puzzled: "Why do you have to become a great god at the level of Pangu?"

"Nonsense, you can't beat Pangu, and the result is death—you gave someone else's daughter to..."

Li Ye: "..."

"Then, the second choice is: If you can wait for Pan Nu to give birth to your child, and if you really only like her as a goddess, then you can become a god in Bairi and become a legal couple in the Hongmeng Realm with Pan Nu. Then Pan Gu has no right to control you.”

"Oh, I forgot to tell you that, excluding the possibility of premature birth, the child between you and Pannu will not be born until 300 million years later. Therefore, during these 300 million years, you must guard your body like a jade...Since you are a mortal, I don't mind you To become a monk, you can reincarnate tens of thousands of times."

Li Ye rolled his eyes, he has been reincarnated for tens of thousands of lives as a monk, he might as well be killed by Pan Gu.

"Finally, the third option: You just need to do something for the Primordial Realm, and after this life is over, you will be made a god."

Li Ye turned around blankly: "You are really good, you are really good, but I haven't got my earwax out yet, 886." But the old beggar held his hand again: "Everything I said is true Yes, stronger than real gold."

The old beggar suddenly retracted his hand, with a satisfied smile on his old face: "Haha, it will save trouble, your father has already agreed."

"My dad agreed?" Li Ye was taken aback for a moment, then sneered: "Are you kidding, do you know how to clone yourself?"

"Your father has agreed to the third option. From today onwards, you will become the defender of the earth, that is, the spokesperson and peace ambassador of the earth."

Li Ye roared: "I'm not a Saiyan!"

"To put it simply, the reason for the third choice is: the last round of Gods' Conference in the Hongmeng Realm formulated a multi-interface and multi-dimensional integration policy, so you are fortunate to be the person who implements this policy. In the future, there will be other When guests from the world or dimension come to visit, you just need to treat each other well."

As the old beggar spoke, he waved his hand, and a person appeared out of nowhere beside him, an ugly, bald old man with a strange smile.

The strange thing is that no one around showed a look of surprise, as if the old man had been standing there a long time ago.

Li Ye also noticed this, blinked hard and looked again, and found that the old man had indeed appeared suddenly, "Nimma, could it be that this old beggar is really a god, and everything he said is true... "

"Little friend, this is Huoyun Cthulhu, the first guest to come to Earth, you have to treat him well."

After the old beggar continued to say a word, he flashed away irresponsibly - Li Ye was sure that all the world champions in running events were scumbags compared to the old beggar.

Watching the old beggar's back disappear in an instant, Li Ye looked at the old man in front of him with a stiff expression, uh, it's Huoyun Cthulhu, this guy not only matches his appearance, but also his shape is not bad - the worn-out white vest has always been Around the thighs, the feet are stepped on two unconventional slippers.

"Hey... boy, you are the guardian of this world, you are too weak~" Huoyun evil god said in a strange way, his expression was full of disappointment and contempt.

murderous look!God horse is murderous?Li Ye didn't understand it at all before, but now he can say with certainty: the guy in front of him has murderous intent on him, it is a kind of death-like feeling—directly piercing into the depths of people's hearts.

Li Ye's expression moved, and he asked: "Senior, I wonder if you have heard of Tathagata God's Palm?"

"Tathagata palm? Of course I know, it is a legendary palm technique, it is said that it descended from the sky..." Huoyun evil god replied, and then grinned strangely: "Any martial arts practiced to the extreme is the same goal-the world martial arts , There is no firmness that cannot be broken, only speed that cannot be broken!"

After hearing what he said, Li Ye breathed a sigh of relief. It seems that this guy has never fought against Xiao Xing.

"You have a beautiful mouth, but in the end, it was picked off by the palm of the Tathagata God."

Li Ye slandered in his heart, but laughed on his face: "Senior's martial arts cultivation is really at the pinnacle. It is estimated that he is invincible in the world. It is even quite empty and lonely. No one will be your opponent anymore, but I can guarantee that you will be able to." Find some opponents for you."

"What confidence do you have that you can guarantee that?"

"Just because I am the guardian of this world."

"..." Huoyun Cthulhu was silent for a long time, and finally spoke again: "Take me to the mental hospital."

"Okay, senior, you won't be lonely for too long..."

……

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