god level spoof

() In order to avoid getting burned, Li Ye planned to teach the two people how to use the toilet immediately.

He didn't talk nonsense, and directly pointed out the purpose and usage of everything in the bathroom, such as how to use the faucet, the toilet, and of course, how to flush the water after refreshing, and how to use the toilet paper , By the way, and how to use the hand sanitizer after cleaning up the butt and putting on the pants... I even demonstrated how to sit on the toilet.

After all, Li Ye had also been an actor for a period of time. Although he was an outsider, he had a very limited understanding of language. After a few words, he had already said everything he needed to say, and then he planned to walk out of the bathroom immediately.

But he found that there was something wrong with Dugu girl's expression, and her expression was also disturbed, which made Li Ye puzzled: Did I say something wrong just now?

Dugu girl asked a very straightforward question: "Did I hear correctly? Use paper to wipe your butt!" Although this sentence sounds ridiculous, the point is that this sentence came from a girl.

"Of course, what do you use if you don't use paper? Do you use your fingers?" Li Ye's heart is not so big, he replied casually, and his expression was quite calm.

Hearing this kind of answer, Dugu girl didn't look angry at all. Instead, she held her delicate chin and seemed to be thinking...

In fact, there is only one issue that Li Ye did not consider, and that is the era.

You must know that papermaking was a great invention in the Han Dynasty, but it was not until the Yuan Dynasty that the products of this technology were applied to people's most practical life: going to the toilet, that is, getting a large size.

Why did it come to the Yuan Dynasty? The main reason is that the Yuan Dynasty was established by the Mongols, and their culture was relatively backward. There was no Han nationality's awareness of "respecting calligraphy and paper", so toilet paper entered people's lives.

Before, for quite a long period of time, everyone used bamboo slices to make sanitary products for going to the toilet, even the emperor was no exception.During the Tang and Song Dynasties, people used a kind of wood or bamboo chips called "toilet chips". The toilet chips are also called toilet slips. The use of toilet chips was introduced from India with Buddhism. The Yuan Dynasty royal family of the Mongols began.Simply put, it is a wooden or bamboo strip used to wipe dirty after defecating.This kind of toilet chip was still used in parts of China and Japan in the last century...

However, Li Ye's mind turned quickly, and he immediately thought of this question. It seems that Dugu Meizi, a person from the Song Dynasty, still has this concept of "respecting calligraphy and paper".

"Great, how come I didn't think of wiping my butt with paper? This way, it's not only clean, but also very comfortable."

Sister Dugu suddenly realized something, she cheered and smiled, and looked at Li Ye happily: "I didn't expect you to be so smart that you would think of wiping your butt with paper."

"..." Li Ye was speechless for a while, being praised by such words, he didn't feel the slightest sense of accomplishment, let alone any sense of superiority in IQ.

After the two understood how to use the toilet, they immediately drove Li Ye out...

uh, no!

After Li Ye came out of the bathroom, his face turned black immediately. It seems that Dugu girl and Ximen puppet girl in the bathroom are lonely men and widows?A man and a woman having sex in the bathroom...

Without further ado, Li Ye immediately turned around and opened the door, when Li Ye heard a scream:

"what--"

According to common sense, it is usually a woman who screams, but this time it is an exception - in the bathroom, the puppet Ximen is unbuttoning her trouser belt, and is about to pull down her trousers and sit on the toilet. At this moment, his eyes are shining. Looking at Li Ye in horror, it seemed like he saw a wild beast.

Li Ye was stunned for a moment, then immediately looked aside, and found that Dugu girl was facing Ximen's puppet mother, and hummed, "Hurry up, it will take so long to untie your pants, are you still a man?"

"Uh, sorry to bother you."

Li Ye gave a dry laugh to Ximen's pseudonym, and quickly stepped forward to grab Dugu's girl's arm: "Miss Dugu, you are a girl. When Brother Chuuxue is playing the tuba, you'd better avoid it."

As he said that, Li Ye was about to pull Dugu girl out of the bathroom, but at this moment Ximen's puppet said: "Master, do you want to see Chuuxue's body? I can show you."

Li Ye subconsciously turned his head to look, and found that Ximen's pseudo-mother suddenly turned from fear to shyness and timidity, looking at him with watery eyes...

I'll fuck you!Even if you are so generous, I would be embarrassed.Li Ye's cheeks were stiff, and he reluctantly replied: "Thank you, Brother Chuixue, for your kindness. After all, I am a man myself. I already know the male body very well, so now I am only curious about the female body."

Dugu girl suddenly broke away from Li Ye's hand, squeezed her fist and said, "Xiaoye (ya), what are you doing? I'm competing with him to see who finishes first, you should go out first. I will definitely win ..."

"Impossible!" Li Ye's voice suddenly increased by [-] decibels, this is the first time he has such a firm attitude - at this moment, Li Ye doesn't even care about Dugu's calling himself a little yazi .

Li Ye, who stopped talking nonsense, roared domineeringly: "Come out with me!"

As he said that, Li Ye had already walked out of the bathroom, his eyes were still staring at Dugu girl fiercely, with domineering and decisiveness in it.

Sister Dugu was taken aback for a moment, pouted, and reluctantly came out of the bathroom.

Li Ye was greatly surprised to see Dugu girl compromise with him for the first time, could it be that he also has the attributes of Long Aotian, otherwise, how could Dugu girl be subdued so easily?

Li Ye still understands the principle of accepting it when he sees it. He didn't say much, but closed the door of the bathroom, then walked to the hall, and said in his mouth: "Miss Dugu, I don't know what your favorite thing is ?”

"Fight!" Sister Dugu muffled.

"Except for fighting."

"Still fighting!"

"..." Li Ye rolled his eyes, and said helplessly, "Of course it's because it's fun. If it wasn't for the fun, would you fight?"

Sister Dugu was taken aback for a moment, and said in a daze, "Oh, it can also be said that it really feels good to fight, it's even more enjoyable than horses killing chickens and getting a tuba." The vulgar words uttered from the girl's mouth are completely immune. This little girl is really straightforward, but she can also see her innocent and cute side.

"Then do you want to do something cool?" Li Ye asked.

From any point of view, as a man, Li Ye said such things to a woman, it is quite connotative~

"Something cool, what's that?"

"Don't worry, you'll know soon~";