the last witcher

"What are you thinking about, so engrossed? I've arrived!" Wang Lili's words pulled me back from thinking to reality.

"Oh, it's nothing." Even if I said it, the other party might not be able to understand it. The other party is just an ordinary little girl, so don't turn around and scare me because of this. So, I still choose not to share this guess with the other party.

"Cheat~people!" Wang Lili said in a long voice, "I'm definitely holding back my stomach and preparing to punish me."

"It's good to know, hem hem!" I said teasingly, sweeping away my heavy heart.

"No, if you bully me, I won't be with you." The other party pretended to be a doormat, and said to me pitifully.

"It's just the two of us in the car now, who do you want me to bully? Could it be that you plan to let me bully myself?" I said mischievously.

"Why do you bully me? You can praise me." Wang Lili said to me excitedly.

"Then look at this: your husband cuts you thousands of times, and you treat him like first love; your husband abuses you thousands of times, and you want to be with you forever; your husband scolds you for nothing, and you treat yourself as a maid; God, I will never abandon you in this life; my husband’s words are the truth, and the answer must be decent; my husband must cooperate with his bragging, or he will break his legs when he goes home.” I finished speaking with a smile, and I was so angry with Wang Lili that I almost didn’t go up to use Yana The little fist hammered me.

"I won't be with you." Wang Lili said with a small mouth.

"Don't tell me, why don't I tell you a joke, if you laugh, I will compensate you, how about it?" When it comes to telling jokes, I'm so good at it, I will definitely open my mouth.

"What you said, if I don't laugh, you have to keep talking." Wang Lili glanced at her watch, it seemed that supermarkets and shopping malls were closed, so she just took this time to chat with me.

"Let me tell you an anecdote about the wedding." After I blinked my eyes, I began to speak seriously: "I remember one time, the bride's father accompanied the bride into the sacred marriage hall, and then, the groom held a white rose in front of him. to marry the bride.

The normal process is that after the groom proposes to the bride, the bride's father will hand over his daughter's hand to the groom's, which represents the handover ceremony of the two most important men in the bride's life.Then, send a blessing to the couple.

Everything went smoothly from the proposal to the handover. When sending blessings, the groom's father-in-law blushed, and then said: "The goods will not be returned or exchanged."

I thought this joke was funny, but Wang Lili stared at me with contempt and said, "It's not funny!"

Shit, you little girl is quite difficult to take care of, suddenly I saw people on bicycles passing by me on the road, and I had an idea, and I opened my mouth and said: "When I was studying in Beijing, the greatest pleasure was riding a bicycle." , Glittering past those BMWs and Mercedes-Benz cars on the road, that feeling can be summed up in one word: cool!"

Wang Lili continued to stare at me with hatred, well, this joke didn't make Ya laugh again.This is to force me to use the trump card. I took a deep breath, and then changed my voice into a bass and said: "It is said that I went to Taizi River with a group of friends to have a barbecue last summer, just as we were about to put the beer in the river to freeze it Suddenly, I saw an old monk with white beard and eyebrows, staring in a daze at the ever-flowing water of the Taizi River.

So, everyone leaned over, but he still stood there motionless.Since my friends wanted to know how much higher the level and state of the eminent monk than us mortals, they sent me as a representative to test it out, so we had the following dialogue:

Me: "Master, hello!"

Monk: "En."

Me: "Master, what are you doing?"

Monk (looks into the water): ... (brows furrowed, serious face)

I thought the master was about to realize something, so I didn't dare to say anything. I followed my gaze and saw a snake in the water not far away.

I casually asked, "What insights does Master have?"

At this time, the friends all straightened their ears and were ready to listen to the master's instructions. After a while, they heard the old monk say something bloody: "Snake, you swim so fast..."

Everyone was flustered and murmured silently, "I'm Oo! I'm O! I'm O!" The master left calmly under our messy eyes. "

"Haha!" Wang Lili couldn't hold back anymore, she laughed happily, then she began to rub her face with her hands and said: "I don't care, you will tell me funny jokes every day from now on, to make me happy, Did you hear that?"

I blinked my small eyes, and then I said, "From now on, I will only love you, spoil you, and will not lie to you; I will do everything I promise you; I will do everything I say to you. It’s all true; don’t bully you, don’t scold you, trust you; if someone bullies you, I will help you as soon as possible; when you are happy, I will accompany you to be happy; if you are unhappy, I will also coax you I want to make you happy, I will always think you are the most beautiful, I will dream of you in my dreams; in my heart, there is only you!"

"Honey, I love you so much!" Wang Lili hugged me, hehe!

As a man, as a man who has lived among thousands of flowers without touching his clothes, he must keep those little jokes that are always useful in his heart.Even if you are hit on the head by a train at a speed of [-] kilometers per hour, as long as you are not dead, you still have to smile at the girls when you get up. This is the realm of legends!

I was intoxicated here, so I heard this girl say to me coquettishly: "Let me tell you one more thing, husband, the door hasn't been opened anyway."

I looked out through the car window, and sure enough there were a lot of people waiting to open the gates of Xinshiji, Muyushi, and Hanlin Mansion. Damn, it’s cloudy and rainy. Anyway, I’m idle, so I’ll talk about it later. one.

"I remember when I was in college, my second son in bed liked to read comics. I once bought a set of bloody comics about pure men at a street stall. I watched them in the dormitory every day. I despised him. There is no technical content in killing and killing. He often said contemptuously that I have no taste at all, and I don’t understand the kind of brotherhood, the kind of blood and so on. Finally one day at noon, he looked at …Suddenly turned his head and said to me: "Youngest, why did they confess their love? "

"Haha, love is everywhere!" Wang Lili put her arms around me, laughing so hard that she almost lost her breath.

"It's a set of Japanese comics, especially suitable for rotten girls, poor second child!" I said in cooperation with Wang Lili.

"Hey, the door is open!" Wang Lili said to me, pointing at the group of property owners rushing in.

"Let's go, go shopping for our parents." "Yes, go buy gifts for our parents!" After I finished speaking, Wang Lili echoed loudly.

Otto, Wang Lili and I were stopped by someone within a few steps after getting out of the car.

to be continued