enchanting blacksmith

"Hey, if only Luo Fu and Xiong Da were here, those two ### men are even more badass than me, and they will definitely come up with a bad idea to kill off their children and grandchildren, and that guy Xiong Da is even more obscene His hands are so wet, those erotic paintings he wrote, tsk tsk, are really amazing. If they are sprinkled in the army of the Kingdom of Hart, those soldiers will lose their combat effectiveness, and we can take advantage of the opportunity to fish in troubled waters. Unfortunately, really pity!"

Thinking of Luo Fu and Xiong Da, Feng Tie immediately thought of his parents far away, the kind, beautiful woman who cried at every turn, the cold-faced and warm-hearted No. [-] blacksmith in the empire, and Linda and Lucy. For the beautiful maidservant and Emma, ​​the delicious cook, I don't know if they are doing well now.

"I can't help but think of my second uncle." Feng Tie said viciously, "I don't know if you were involved in the war and were raped by the rebel army? You were so violent that the chrysanthemums bloomed, or you were trampled into a pile of pulp by the horseshoes of the cavalry Ni, oh my gosh, it breaks my heart just thinking about it!"

Feng Tiezheng was imagining it all by himself, and suddenly he was slapped on the back of the head by Ailida's big hand, and just about to get angry, Ailida's impatient voice came: "What are you still thinking about, we already want to Split up, do you want to roll out of bed or not?"

"Xiami? Are we going to go out to kill and set fire now?" Feng Tie glanced out the window, it was still dark outside, "Is it a little hasty, it's not yet dawn!"

"The moon is dark and the wind is high to kill people. Do you still want to commit murder in broad daylight if you don't act at night?" Ailida despised Feng Tie's unprofessional attitude, "You have been distracted for a long time, and you know exactly what we are talking about No?"

"What did you say? I didn't hear it at all. I've been reminiscing about the characters in Xiong Dabi's paintings and the essence of those movements. Tsk tsk, it's really... woo woo woo, I was wrong, I don't dare anymore ..."

Avril rubbed her sore palms and patiently helped Feng Tie with homework: "You idiot, the three of us are fine, we are almost completely unfamiliar faces here, but old Ai can't, he's already on the wanted list The headlines on the front page, if you just walk into the beast city like this, you will not be cooked and eaten alive by the enemies who heard the news, so what we have to do now is to modify Lao Ai's appearance a little bit, that's all. It’s just that it’s not about going out to commit murder.”

"Modify appearance? How to modify?"

Avril Lavigne smiled mysteriously: "I know how to make a magic potion that can temporarily change a person's appearance. It is recorded in the ancient book of magic pharmacy that Alexandra gave me. It happens to meet our current needs. However, the materials for making potions are not easy to get. We have to go out and act separately now. After collecting the materials, we can make potions and use them on Lao Ai, so that we can enter the city swaggeringly. An interesting thing."

Doris: "Yeah, it's really interesting, but I still want to kill and set fire..."

"Go away, you murderer!" Feng Tie poured out the anger of being beaten on Doris, pushed the poor little loli aside, turned to Avril and smiled flatteringly: "We all need What is it? Where can I find it?"

"Well, the recipe is actually not too complicated. You only need some rotten wood, moss with slime, a mouse's tail, a bunch of purslane, poisonous foie gras mushrooms with beautiful markings, and The powder ground from the skulls of dead people, oh, these are almost the same, and the last and most important thing, these things must be mixed together by male boy urine, who is the virgin between you and Lao Ai? Boy, please stand up bravely Come out, I'm going to collect the first material now, don't dawdle, hurry up, old lady!"

Ailida and Fengtie looked at each other stiffly for a while, staring at each other and dare not stand up, Ailida said with a bitter face: "Little aunt, you are really my second aunt, I am almost 40 years old this year Now, do you think a man like me would reject those luscious lives? Besides, I can’t disappoint those pretty girls who adore me, I, I, I really can’t…”

Avril ruthlessly despised Aleda, and turned her gaze to Feng Tie, whose face was livid: "You are the only one left, don't tell me that you have already been dealt with!"

Feng Tie lowered her head in embarrassment and fiddled with the corner of her clothes, muttering: "Of course, I have not been dealt with, you know, I am a decent person who cherishes my reputation very much, and what I object to most is pre-marriage### , I even participated in a lecture campaign against corrupt living on weekends, and I was named the most decent and elegant man, but you know, as a man, sometimes you will inevitably drink a little wine when you attend a banquet, after drinking, after drinking ... You also know that my family is relatively wealthy, and my two personal maids are so provocative. They always show their breasts and thighs to seduce me. Fortunately, I am strong-willed, but then again Now, as a young man, I admit that sometimes I'm young..."

"Shut up, put away a lot of your nonsense, I don't want to hear this now!" Avril roared like a lion from the east of the river, stepped forward and grabbed Feng Tie's lapel, and roared viciously: "You just answer me, you, here, Bottom, yes, no, yes, virgin, man!"

"I, I..." Feng Tie didn't dare to touch Avril Lavigne's piercing gaze, and stammered: "I, yes, of course I..." Feng Tie suddenly made up his mind, and said firmly: "Of course I am , that is, heh heh, power cannot be subdued, even if you ruined me, I will say the same!"

"Huh!" Avril took a deep breath, and gave Feng Tie a soft look, "If you want to lie to me, I can't investigate you, but you have to use your conscience to be responsible to Lao Ai, he Your life is in your hands, haha."

Eleda: "What? Why?"

Avril Lavigne said leisurely: "Because there is no problem with these materials, if any of the materials is fake, the medicine will become highly toxic, and the skin and fat on your face will be unbearably itchy, and you will I couldn't help but feel the pain, I grabbed the skin and flesh of my face piece by piece, exposing the blood vessels and bones inside, but that's fine, people won't recognize who you are anymore, the result is the same perfect... ..."

"No! No!" Alida screamed in horror, "Don't smear my face with this kid's urine, even if you say that Doris is my real grandmother, I will believe it. I don't believe this little slicker has lived in his twenties and hasn't stolen fish!"

"Is that true, Feng Tie." Avril stared into Feng Tie's eyes, "I'm a magician, and I'll test you if you lie!"

"Okay." Feng Tie finally gave in, "Old Ai, I can't just watch you shameless, I admit, I have indeed been dealt with, it's my two little maids, but Avril, listen to me... ..."

"Snapped!"

"Don't fight, I was wrong..."

"Clap!"

"Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..."

"Crack, clap, clang, clap, clack!"

"Oh my god, it's broken, it's broken, woo woo woo, this time I'm dead..."

Avril finally had enough of venting on Feng Tie, kicked Feng Tie into a corner, straightened up and smiled brightly at Aleda: "I lied to you, in fact, there is no need for a boy's urine, just use clean water .”

Eleda: "..."

Feng Tie: "... woo woo woo woo woo, what is my fate, woo woo woo..."

"Now let's split up." Avril commanded, "Old Ai, you are familiar with the terrain here, you go to collect moss, purslane and mushroom rotten wood, and Doris and I will dig graves to find dead skulls, Feng Tie!" Avril He raised his voice, "You are in charge of catching mice. You have to catch a hundred of them, and each one must weigh more than one pound. Do you hear me?"

"Understood." Feng Tie's weak voice came from the corner, "But didn't you just say that you only need one mouse's tail, why are there now a hundred? What are you doing after catching so many fat mice? Want some soup?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm in a bad mood right now. I said that there should be no less than one hundred. Otherwise, hum, the consequences will be very cruel. I can't guarantee whether your head will be as swollen as your old one." As big as AI."

Taking advantage of the vast night, the four of them slipped out of the hotel gate like ghosts, ran in different directions, and disappeared at the end of the dark street in an instant.Until dawn, the four returned to the hotel one after another. A big bag on Elida's back was filled with mushrooms and green grass, and a tree stump with a rotten smell, which seemed to be dug out of the soil.

Carrying a wooden shovel on her immature shoulders, Doris happily followed Avril. She obviously had a lot of fun digging other people's ancestral graves, humming nursery rhymes beamingly, how festive she looked How festive.Avril's hand was dragging a dead man's skull glowing blue, the skull was very complete, it seemed that the deceased was definitely a normal death, Avril's other hand was beating the skull as a drum, in line with what Doris said Nursery rhymes, the two cooperated closely and played happily.

Seeing this, Ailida felt a chill, and backed up a few steps in horror. Although Ailida was well-informed and had been wandering in bloody battlefields where corpses piled up all the year round, he was frightened enough by these two guys, and he could move on his own. Imagine what kind of scene it would be if two beauties in fluttering white dresses, one big and one small, were walking before dawn, humming songs while beating on the bones of an undead.

"Oh my God! How could I be friends with these people!" Ailida sighed, "Oh, that's right, where is Feng Tie, why hasn't this kid come back yet?"

"Maybe the mice here are not easy to catch!" Avril sneered, "When I first went out, I caught a few wild cats in the woods and threw them on the street. I don't know if Feng Tie can defeat these cute little guys. How about catching the mouse first? It’s really exciting!"