After I touched the computer of the beautiful boss

Chapter 115: Happiness is Difficult

Bai Ling nodded and said: "Of course I hope, I really hope, but I also know that it is very unrealistic and impossible. I understand everything, I know that it is unrealistic, very unrealistic, and I will not go too far If you think about it, you don’t need to be pressured, don’t think about anything, we can go wherever we can, many things are not up to us, what should happen will always happen, no one can control it, what do you think? "

I said: "Well, yes, take it one step at a time, don't put so much pressure on yourself, it's best to take it easy, I love you!"

She was happy, happy, and she leaned in my arms and said softly and obediently: "I love you too, I hope there will be a day, just like our short month, we live together, like husband and wife !"

I said: "Do you want to marry me the most and be a husband and wife with me?"

She nodded and said: "I have always wanted that kind of happiness, but I know that in this world, there is only one man who can give me that kind of happiness. I know who that man is, it is you, and that will be my whole life." dreams, and I will never stop my pursuit of my happiness, forever!"

I was moved by her words, especially the sentence that she will never stop her pursuit of happiness, I think so, no matter how much she has experienced, how many marriages, how many failures, but happiness will always be in her heart She will never lose, she will never stop pursuing that happiness, I think this is the woman I want to see, a woman who has experienced many setbacks and failures, but will never be knocked down by life, this is Bai Ling is the Bai Ling I saw before.

I said: "Well, okay, I hope you do that, only then can you live happily!"

"But that man is you. If one day I am happy, then you will be happy too, baby, if one day I stand in front of you and tell you, I want you to take me to Xiliang, you Do you still want to? I really hope that it will be a lifetime. These days, I don’t even dare to hope, I don’t dare to do anything, I don’t dare to think, I don’t dare to do anything, I even think I have nothing at all That right, you know?"

I said: "Why don't I know? I know everything, I see everything, I understand everything, I know what's going on, I know all the changes in you, every look you look at me, dear , we are all fine, if one day God allows us to be together, I believe we will be together!" I kissed her forehead again, she nodded, she looked at me, I knew I gave her that day If she does, she will be more sure of where her happiness lies in her heart, and she will understand who can give her that kind of happiness, and that person is me.

Later, whenever I think about these things, I will blame myself in my heart. Why did I care so much at the beginning? In fact, I cared about it in my heart, but I didn’t tell her. The more I grow up, the more I care about her past, no, it's not her past, but what happened after me, I find it hard to accept this in my heart, it's hard to accept, sometimes when I think about it, I'm going to die of pain, I dare not think about anything.

But you know, how I regretted it later, I always blamed myself so much these years, I felt like an asshole, I was an out-and-out asshole, I loved her, but I also hurt her, I was too Too selfish, too willful, it is difficult for her to give me what I want, because she can't go back to the past, and I care so much, I always think that she has experienced too much in the past, and her personality is difficult to change , I even think she will be the same as before, she will not change, whenever I think of her sleeping with those men, being together, then getting married, many things, I am going crazy, I always keep asking myself in my heart , how could she do this, how could she, how could she?In the end, I can only torture myself, unable to solve any problems. I have been tortured for many years, until one day, I don’t need to be tortured anymore. I thought I could be freed, but I couldn’t be freed after all. It just hurts more, hurts more than ever, the pain almost kills me.

After dinner, I drove Bai Ling with me, and then I went back to her and Liu Qian's residence with her.

When I went back to where Liu Qian lived, she brought me home, and we drank some wine during the meal. As soon as I entered, she brought me slippers and took off my coat. She is very good at serving people, I think It's just for me. If a woman like Bai Ling doesn't love a man, she won't do anything for that man. She will even lose her temper. She won't consider the other person's feelings at all. She will only love her. Man shows her soft side, she doesn't do that to any man but the one she loves, that's her, she's so sweet to me, I'm sitting on the couch and she's changed into casual clothes she wears at home , loose and bulky clothes, she poured water for me, when she lowered her head, her breasts were exposed a lot, I felt very comfortable when I was drinking, she looked at me with that kind of eyes, it was only us at this time, in fact, a woman doesn’t care What a society, she can do anything in front of the man she loves, she completely forgot about that society, she became very pure and private, we are the only ones in this world.

I held her in my arms quietly, and she suddenly said: "Baby, I brought you the clothes, you come and wear them, it must be very suitable, come here!" I nodded, and then walked to her room, There are many sets of clothes I wear hanging in her room, all of which she gave me. She wants to help me wear them. I said: "I will do it myself!" She said: "Does it look good?" I hugged her and kissed her Next, and then whispered into her ear: "I like it, I feel very happy, I am really happy to have a woman I love buy clothes for me!"

She said: "Well, it's really handsome, it's like a star, it looks good!"

I said: "That's right, here is the strength, no matter how you wear it, it looks good, heh!"

She hugged me suddenly, I turned to look at her, she hugged me and suddenly said domineeringly: "I don't want you to go back, I don't want to!"

I said: "Fool, we are all now, we are all people with families, how can we be together, it is difficult!"

She heard me say this, nodded and said: "Well, I know, I'm just talking, am I being selfish, I want you, if, if you want me, I can do anything, really Can!"

I know what she wants to say, she can divorce, she can abandon everything, as long as she can be with me, she is willing to do anything.

But I think I will still think about it, I don’t know if I should marry her, if I marry her, will I forget all the past things in the future, don’t take them seriously, of course think about these things now It’s not a problem. I used to not care about her at all. Before I met her, I really didn’t care at all. The problem was that after I met her, she married that person again. This matter It makes me very angry and desperate, and I feel that this is what I can't accept.

I said, "I'll think about it, baby, give me some time!"

She nodded, feeling that I understood what she meant, she sat on the edge of the bed, and said, "Husband, I'll give you a massage, come here!" She said her husband naturally, and then said to massage me, I felt that she was too kind to me, so I sat next to her and said, "Honey, don't treat me like this, it's too unnatural for you to do this to me, I hope you are the same as before, don't always feel ashamed of me Yes, none of us did anything wrong, neither you nor I, it's fate, so please be happy, come on, be natural, okay?"

She looked at me coldly and kept looking at me, her eyes were the same as before, a little scary, she looked a little scary at me, and I found her previous look again, she looked at me, then closed her eyes , then turned his head to the side and said: "I haven't changed, I haven't changed at all, but in your heart, you don't treat me like that anymore, you have changed, what do you want me to do? What else can I do?"

Yes, it was her at this time, I said: "I didn't, I just, I just feel a little uncomfortable, I'm jealous!"

She nodded and said with a smile: "I know, it's hard for you to let go, you are in more pain than me, you are at this age, and I am at this age, so we are different, and our feelings are also different. I know that in your heart, I am no longer noble, no longer pure, and you will not think of me like that anymore, I can't change anything, I love you, I admit that I love you very much, Xiaolin, I can't forget you , since I am like this, I must treat you well, or you will not want me anymore, I am already old, I don’t have much good time, I am almost 30 years old, you are still young, you said if I want to be with you , what should I do, I can only bear this, I can only treat you well, what do you think?"

I said: "Yes, not quite right, I think you should understand that I love you, and because I love you, I feel uncomfortable, but now I see you like this, I don't feel uncomfortable anymore, I hope to see you That's it, no matter what happens, it will be the same as before, I still want your air, and I want you to be the same as before, you are noble, you must understand yourself!"

She smiled and said: "I treat you as a child, I see everything, I love you, I want you, little guy, I have my own ideas, you will understand later, I will treat you little by little Captive, little rascal!"

I'm happy, I like her like this, I don't like the look of her being angry, as if she owes others money, that kind of feeling is really uncomfortable, I don't want to see her like that again, now it's really Okay, I hugged her and said: "I hope you are domineering, I want you to be bad to me!" She hugged me and kissed my lips and said: "Sister ate you, you are so handsome, baby, I see Looking at you, I don't want to do anything, just like my son!"

I said, "You can really take advantage of me, don't you have a daughter?" I said it right away.

She listened, her expression changed immediately, she stood there in a daze, and I said: "I already knew it, I don't care, baby, you should visit her often, she must be very beautiful!" I can understand The thoughts in her heart, she felt as if she was sorry for me again, where did she have so many pasts, these pasts that make people feel extremely fucked.