Pride and Prejudice

Chapter 41 (2)
Having explained this to him, it would be a simple matter of persuading him not to return to Hertfordshire--I do not think I did any wrong in doing so.There was only one point in the whole affair which, in retrospect, I did not do satisfactorily to-day; and that was the small cunning with which I had concealed from him the knowledge that your sister was in town.I know it myself, and Miss Bingley knows it, but her brother has not even hitherto been kept in the dark.Perhaps even if the two of them meet, the old relationship will not be revived; however, his affection for your sister has not completely disappeared in my opinion, and he may not be able to remain unmoved when he sees her.Perhaps this concealment, this deceit, is not my identity.But it was entirely for their own good that I was, and still am, doing it.That's all I have to say on this matter, and that's all I have to apologize for.If I have hurt your sister's feelings, it has been quite unintentional; and though the motives which impelled me to do so appear to you, of course, to be ill-founded, I would condemn mine to them. Haven't had that realization yet.

As for your further condemnation of my injury to Wickham, I can only dismiss your reproach by telling you his whole connection with my family.I do not know what in particular he accuses me of; but I can find more than one infallible witness to the truth of the facts I am about to relate.Mr. Wickham's father was a man of good repute, and he managed the Pemberley estate for many years; and the fidelity and conscientiousness with which he exercised his duties naturally made my father very willing to give him something in return, so to George Wickham, also my father's godson, was graciously cared for by my father.My father supported him at school, and later sent him to Cambridge—a most important subsidy, for his own father was always poor on account of his wife's extravagance; education.My father not only liked to have him in his constant company (for his manners were always agreeable), but he praised him very much, and was thinking of finding him a place in the church, which he hoped to pursue.As for myself, it has been many years since my opinion of him changed.His wicked disposition--a vice of unprincipled conduct--he was always careful to hide it from his best friend, but these qualities could not escape the attention of a young man of his own age. Eyes, I always had the chance to see him off guard, and my father never had that chance.

Here again I am going to make you feel miserable - only you will know the extent of the pain.Whatever feelings Mr. Wickham may have stirred up in you, I cannot think that you should have them without disclosing him for what he really is.This even increased my determination to expose him.My venerable father died some five years ago; Within the scope of his profession, he tried his best to promote him. If he received the priesthood, as soon as there was a vacancy in a position with a good salary, he would be considered first.He was also given an inheritance of £[-].His father also died shortly thereafter, and before the two funerals had passed half a year, Mr. Wickham wrote to tell me that he had finally decided not to accept the priesthood, since he would not be able to receive the beneficiary of that office. Yes, he hopes to get some direct financial benefits as compensation, and said that I don't think he is doing too much.He went on to say that he wanted to study law, and I must know that the interest of the thousand pounds would not be enough to complete the study.I hoped, but did not believe, that he was sincere; nevertheless, I readily agreed to his proposal.I know Mr. Wickham is not a proper clergyman.

So the matter was quickly settled.Even if he had the possibility of accepting a position in the church in the future, he no longer claimed this right, and we gave him three thousand pounds as a condition.All relations between us seem to have ended thus far.I think too badly of him to have him at Pemberley, or to associate with him in London.I believe he lived most of his life in London, that his law studies were a pretense, and that now, freed from all restraints, he led a life of complete idleness.For about three years I heard nothing from him; but when the position which he was intended to fill became vacant by the death of the clergyman, he immediately wrote to me asking for his recommendation again.He said he was in a terrible state, which I certainly didn't find hard to believe.He found that there was little money to be saved in the study of law, and so he was now quite determined to receive the priesthood, if I would recommend him for it—and he seemed quite sure of that, for he Knowing for certain that I have no one else to recommend, and it is impossible for me to have forgotten my venerable father's last wish.

You can't blame me for my refusal to accept this request, or rather my refusal of his repeated requests.His embarrassing situation made his complaints intensified—no doubt he would have spared no effort in speaking ill of me in front of others, as he had scolded me to my face.After this, all friendship between us seemed to be broken.Unexpectedly, last summer, he once again invaded my life very painfully.I must now mention an incident which I myself wish I could forget, and which I should not have disclosed to any one were it not compelled by the present circumstances.Speaking of which, I think you will be able to keep a secret.My sister, who was more than ten years younger than I, was taken over by my mother's nephew, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and myself as guardians after my father's death.We took her back from school a year ago, and built her a flat in London; she went to Ramsgate last summer with the woman who looked after the house; and Mr. Wickham went too. There, it was evidently premeditated; for it turned out that he had long known that woman, Mrs. Youngie, whose true character we unfortunately were not able to see; Georgiana wooed, and in my little sister's good heart still retained the tenderness and concern he had shown her as a child, and was so deluded by him into believing that she was in love with him, that she consented to elope with him.

She was only fifteen at the time, which of course excused her; and having said this reckless act of hers, I am happy to say that I was able to learn that she had told me all about it. of.A day or two before their planned elopement, I unexpectedly arrived at their place, and Georgiana, unable to bear the grief and grief of the brother whom she almost regarded as a father, confided in me about the incident. .You can imagine my mood at that time and the behavior I was going to make at that time.In view of my sister's reputation and affections it was not convenient to disclose the matter publicly, but I wrote a letter to Wickham, who left the place at once, and of course Mrs Younge was dismissed by me. up.There is no doubt that Mr. Wickham's interest in my sister's £15 fortune was chiefly in view; though I cannot help thinking that his desire for vengeance against me was also a factor in inducing him to do so.Indeed, his vengeance was either entirely successful.

This is my faithful account, madam, of all that has connected us both; and if you do not set it aside as entirely false, I hope you will thereby clear my ill-treatment of Mr. Wickham. charges.I don't know by what means, by what false ways, he deceived you; but perhaps there is nothing surprising in his success.Since you didn't know anything about our affairs before, you couldn't find out, and it's not in your nature to suspect others.Or you might wonder why I didn't tell you all this last night.Because at that time I couldn't control myself very well, I didn't know what those words could or should be said.As to the truth of all the things I have here said, I may especially testify for me by Colonel Fitzwilliam, who was my close relation and my intimate friend, and one of the executors of my father's will, so Naturally, he knew all the details and details very well.If your distaste for me made my confession worthless, you wouldn't have the same reason for distrusting my cousin; in order to give you the possibility of talking to him , I will try to find an opportunity to get this letter into your hands in the morning.All I have to say is, God bless you.

Fitzwilliam Darcy"

(End of this chapter)