Pride and Prejudice

Chapter 42

When Mr. Darcy handed her the letter, Elizabeth could not have conceived at all what it might contain, had she expected it to contain no more reference to marriage.But despite this, we may perhaps imagine with what eagerness she must have read the letter, with what conflicting emotions must have aroused in her.The emotion she felt as she read the letter was almost indecipherable.First, she was surprised to find that Mr. Darcy still believed that he had the ability to apologize to others; Believe the emptiness of his letter.With a strong prejudice against all he might have to say, she began to read the account of what had happened at Netherfield.She read eagerly, impatient to know what the next sentence was to say, but she had no time to grasp the meaning of the sentence before her, and her comprehension seemed to leave her at the moment.What he thought to be her sister's lack of tenderness, she read as soon as it was false, and read his account of the horrible real reasons for opposing the marriage, and she could no longer be angry with her. Willing to give him a fair evaluation.He expressed no regrets for what he had done, which was to her liking; there was no remorse in him, and the style of his letters was domineering.The letter was full of his usual arrogance and rudeness.

But as she reads this passage about Mr. Wickham, as she reads with a clearer attention the chain of events which, if true, must overthrow him in her With all the good ideas left in his mind, and the striking resemblance of these events to his own personal experience - her feelings were all the more painful and difficult to define.Amazement, doubt, even fear oppressed her heart.She wished to have it written off, and she kept crying, "It must be false! It must never be so! It must be the most outrageous deception!"—she read the whole letter Afterwards, though she could not remember what was written on the last page or two, she hastily put the letter away, and swore she would ignore it and never read it again.

Distraught in this way, she walked forward, unable to think of anything; but this was not enough, and in less than half a minute, the letter was opened again, and she pulled herself together and began to read carefully about Weco. Mr. Ham's words broke her heart, forcing herself to ponder the meaning of each sentence.The part of it which spoke of Wickham's relation to the Pemberley family was just as Mr. Wickham himself told, of the affection which the late Mr. Darcy had for him, though she had not known how deep it was before, It is very consistent with what he said himself.So far, what the two parties said can be confirmed by each other, but when she read the part about the will, what the two said was quite different.

Elizabeth remembered Wickham's remark about vicarage; and when she thought of it, she could not help feeling that one of them was a liar; There is nothing wrong with thinking.But when she read and reread with the utmost care the details of the three thousand pounds which Wickham had received under the pretense of giving up the clergymanship, she could not help hesitating.She put down the letter, tried to consider each situation impartially--scrutinized the credibility of each statement--but it was no use.Both sides are just expressing their views.Then she read again, and at last the allegory came out between the lines: an act which she had thought no matter how much Mr. Darcy could quibble could not save him from disgrace, could present a turning point which made him appear throughout the whole The incident is bound to become irreproachable.

Elizabeth was greatly astonished by Mr. Darcy's unabashed accusations of Mr. Wickham's profligacy and dissoluteness, and all the more so by the fact that she had no evidence to refute.She had never heard of Mr. Wickham before he entered the militia in a certain county, and he joined the militia only by accident. After persuasion, he entered the barracks.

Nothing was known of his former life and conduct except what he had told her in Hertfordshire.As for his truth and character, even if she could inquire about it, it never occurred to her to inquire about it.His countenance, his voice, and his manners gave the first impression of every virtue in him.She tried to save him from Mr. Darcy's attacks by recalling a fact or two which would reflect his good qualities, some of his conspicuous traits of honesty and kindness; or, at least, by his eminent Merit can make up for these occasional mistakes, and here she is trying to relegate to the category of occasional mistakes what Mr. Darcy called years of idleness.

But there were no such memories to save her.She could see him before him, alive and well, and charming in his conversation; but could remember nothing of substance about him, except the general admiration of his neighbors and the respect of his companions which his sociability had won him. Advantages.After thinking in this way for a while, she read the letter again.But my God!Wasn't his attempt at Miss Darcy, hereafter described, somewhat corroborated by her conversation with Colonel Fitzwilliam yesterday morning?The letter concluded by asking her to ask Colonel Fitzwilliam himself--she had heard him say before that he knew everything about his cousin, and of Colonel Fitzwilliam's personality--as to whether these details were true or not. She had no reason to doubt either.For a while she was almost determined to ask him, but stopped at the thought of how much embarrassment the question would be, and finally thought that if Mr. Darcy was not sure of his cousin's co-operation beforehand, he would I would never make this suggestion hastily, so I simply dismissed the idea.

Elizabeth well remembered the first meeting and conversation between herself and Wickham that night at Mr Philip's.Many of his words are still vivid in her memory.Then it occurred to her how abrupt it was for him to say such things to a stranger, and she wondered why she hadn't seen it before.She felt now how indecent it was for him to talk so much about himself, and how inconsistent his words and actions were, and she remembered him boasting that he was not at all afraid to see Mr. Darcy—Mr. In spite of his departure, he would not leave here; but he did not dare to attend the ball at Netherfield next week.She remembered that, before the Netherfields moved away, he told her only one person of his history; It had been told to her that the respect for Mr. Darcy's father had always made him reluctant to expose his son's faults, yet he had been so unreserved and unscrupulous in belittling Mr. Darcy's character.

Everything about him looked completely different now!His favor for Miss King now appears to be purely pecuniary; Miss King's meager wealth no longer proves that his desires are moderate, but that he wants to grab everything greedily thing.His behavior towards her himself can now be seen to have no good motives; he either miscalculated her money, or deliberately encouraged her careless display of hostility to satisfy his vanity. His affection.Every morsel of affection for him was now growing weaker and weaker; and what could further clear Mr. Darcy's innocence, was that she could not help thinking again of Mr. Bingley's Mr. Darcy, when Jane asked him about Bingley. Mr. is not at fault in this matter; remembering that since their acquaintance (especially lately they have seen each other often, and have gained a better understanding of his various behaviors), she has never seen any evil in him. Or a place of debauchery, though haughty and obnoxious in his manner and speech.

And he was respected and held in high regard by his friends and relatives—even Wickham admitted he was a good brother, and it wasn't often she had heard him speak so fondly of his little sister, proving that there could be some tenderness feelings?If Mr. Darcy's behavior is really as Wickham said, can all his misconduct be hidden from the eyes and ears of the world; and if he is such a person, how can he be like Bingley? How can a good man like Mr. make such a close friend?
The more she thought about it the more she felt ashamed of herself—she could not think of Darcy or of Wickham without feeling blind, absurd, prejudiced, and unjust.

"How badly I did it myself!" she couldn't help crying out, "I, a person who claims to be good at distinguishing right from wrong! I, a person who has always valued my ability! I often look down on my sister's generosity." breasts, always gratifying one's vanity with a distrust of everything - what a shame to discover! But a well-deserved shame! Even if I were really in love I could not have been more foolish than that. But it was vanity, not love, that made me so foolish. When I first met these two men, I was flattered that a man liked me. , annoyed that the other had snubbed me, that in dealing with both of them I made an alliance with prejudice and ignorance that drove reason away. Only now did it dawn on me."

Following the train of thought from herself to Jane--from Jane to Bingley, she soon remembered that Mr. Darcy's explanation of the matter was not well-founded; and she sent the letter again. Read it.This second reading, the effect is very different.Since she had to believe him on the second matter, how could she not believe his statement on the first matter?He claimed that he himself was entirely ignorant of her sister's feelings for Bingley, and this reminded her of Carlotta's usual opinion of her sister.She could not deny that his description of Jane was not wrong.She thought that Jane's feelings, though fierce, were seldom shown, and that the usual self-satisfaction in her manner often made it difficult to see her true feelings.

She was all the more ashamed when she read the passage about her family, in which the words were hurtful but critical.She could not deny all the well-founded accusations that had penetrated her skin, and the behavior of her family at the Netherfield ball he specifically mentioned (which was the reason for his initial opposition to the marriage) was not only his own. Unforgettable, and made her equally unforgettable.

Of course she felt the praise for herself and her sister in the letter.This comforted her a little, but not the humiliation she felt at being looked down upon by others for her family's disappointment; She felt a depression she had never felt before, when she had suffered so much loss through the indiscretions of her family.She wandered along the path for two hours, thinking back and forth, reliving these things in her mind, judging their possibility and rationality, and trying her best to persuade herself to adapt to such a huge and sudden change ;Finally, her body felt tired, and she thought that she had been out for a long time, so she walked home.She tried to appear as cheerful as ever when she entered the room, and tried to suppress her thoughts so as not to appear unnatural in her conversation.

Immediately after her return, she was told that two gentlemen from Rosings had called her separately during her absence; Colonel William sat with them for at least an hour, hoping to wait for her return, and at one point he even decided that he must go out and find her.Elizabeth feigned regret at not seeing him; but in truth she was glad for it.Colonel Fitzwilliam was no longer an object of her aspirations, and all she had in mind was the letter.

(End of this chapter)