Xinyiwu: Originally

Chapter 42

Let's break up... because I don't want you anymore...

Su Yunjin woke up from her dream, she was the only one left in the big room, there was no Cheng Zheng, no happy pregnant woman, no land like a little sparrow in the bar last night, and the rain was pouring outside the window.The voice in the dream seemed to echo in the empty room.She turned over and looked at the alarm clock next to the bed. It was already five o'clock in the morning, so she didn't feel sleepy anymore. She poured herself a large glass of water and sat slowly in front of the dressing table.

What should a 29-year-old woman look like?Just like a rose, when it blooms to its peak, every petal stretches to the extreme, but the next moment it will wither.Su Yunjin caressed her face with her hands, she hadn't looked at herself so seriously for a long time, a Su Yunjin without any cover and defense.

Opening the drawer, she found the only Hailanbao earring left, holding it in her hand, it was cold and tingling.The words he said when he put the earrings on her were still in my ears, but she lost the other one after all.

She and Cheng Zheng lost each other.

Cheng Zheng, Cheng Zheng...a person who used to be as close as his body and skin would lose all communication in the sea of ​​people.She no longer remembers the details of the separation that night, and human memory will protect herself, only knowing that when she walked out of his apartment, she tried to hold the phone in her hand without sleep, and there was a kind of absurd and unfounded feeling in her subconscious. Persevere, he will come to her, definitely, just like the countless quarrels in the past, he will always find her back, and then she will put down all her dignity and tell him the one sentence that was too late to say.

But he didn't.

The moment she let go of the phone that Cheng Zheng gave her and sank it into the bottom of the river, she finally woke up. She and Cheng Zheng had really separated. He had given up on her and would never have any contact with her again.Obviously it was painful for the two of them to continue being together, but when he personally ended this relationship, it was like cutting a part of her flesh and blood, the feeling was more than heart-piercing.

The following nightmarish period was even more unbearable to look back on. Su Yunjin hadn't recovered from the drastic change of the breakup, and she had no time to pay attention to the changes in her physical condition. She didn't even have time to think about whether the child should stay or not, and it was even heavier. The blows followed.The baby was gone, and with the loss of it, her body was devastated.When she was lying on the hospital bed in despair, she even had the most unbearable thoughts.Waking up in the middle of the night with a burning sore throat, she pressed the call light, and the night nurse deserted, so she had to struggle to get a glass of water by the bedside, but the first time she couldn't reach it, the second time she gritted her teeth Leaning out a little, the knife edge burst open the third time, and she finally reached the glass of water, and poured it down her throat like rain, and even the pain of the wound could not be felt for a while.

At that time, Mo Yuhua went to Shanghai and did the biggest stupid thing in her life; Shen Juan followed Zhang Yue to France.Su Yunjin didn't expect the consequences to be so serious, and even her mother didn't dare to tell her at first, and it was impossible for Su's mother to travel thousands of miles to visit her daughter due to her physical condition.She was in the hospital alone and unaccompanied, but her colleagues brought the news that the company was about to adjust its personnel.She had a premonition that she was about to lose something, so she was not afraid of anything.

At this time, Xu Zhiheng came to see her alone, and she was flattered. Although he was the one who recruited her into the company with Huiyan, and usually admired her quite a lot, as a senior leader of the company, it is indeed a good thing for him to come to see an ordinary employee in person. something unexpected.In addition to taking care of the hospital affairs for her, he would occasionally visit her after get off work.

Su Yunjin is not a fool, who in this world would support another person unconditionally?From Xu Zhiheng's eyes, she gradually understood something, and he also intentionally or unintentionally talked about the failure of his marriage in front of her.Xu Zhiheng was married in Taiwan and had a daughter. Later, he was transferred by the headquarters to work in the mainland. His wife refused to come with him, so the two gradually separated and their relationship gradually became cold.

For a long time, Su Yunjin was strangely silent.When a person is in a desperate situation and has nothing, her self-esteem appears pale and fragile. Xu Zhiheng pulled her on the edge of the abyss, which was the last straw she could grasp before she drowned. She had nothing to pay him back. At that time, she wanted to However, since I have reached this point anyway, what else can I hold on to?After losing her love, she still has someone to rely on.Regardless of his married status, Xu Zhiheng is mature, personable, well-informed, with the tolerance and open-mindedness of a mature man, and he is an excellent partner.

However, when Xu Zhiheng gently stroked the back of her hand by the hospital bed, she instinctively withdrew her hand back.His hands are as gentle as his expression, but the moment she touched her, she only felt dirty. If she let her go at this moment, then the relationship between them is no different from a deal, which is not the same as a prostitute with heavy make-up on the street soliciting customers. What's the difference?Xu Zhiheng's face changed slightly in an instant, Su Yunjin knew that she might regret it in the future, but there was a high wall in her heart, the foundation of the wall might be her self-righteous emotional obsession, or her ridiculous and pitiful self-esteem, in short, the desire to compromise was about to come out. insurmountable.

She should be thankful that Xu Zhiheng is still considered a half-gentleman, he didn't force her, at least he didn't do so in action.Perhaps, he believes that his charm will impress her sooner or later, so he is not in a hurry.Mo Yuhua, who was taking care of Zhou Ziyi in Shanghai, learned of Su Yunjin's hospitalization, although she couldn't make it back in time, she entrusted her acquaintances in the hospital to take care of Su Yunjin on her behalf.After being discharged from the hospital, Su Yunjin stayed in Mo Yuhua's dormitory for a period of time. When she returned to the company to report, she had already prepared for the worst, but she didn't expect that the company's personnel reshuffle would lay off some employees. She escaped by luck, but was sent to a branch in a remote city. She dare not say that Xu Zhiheng did not have the credit.

Su Yunjin expressed her gratitude to Xu Zhiheng in person, but also made it clear that she could not give him what he wanted.Xu Zhiheng laughed at her for being suspicious. The company's layoffs involved internal struggles. It's not surprising that she, a powerless employee far away from the center of power, survived the disaster.If there was anything he did for her, it was to give her a slightly longer period of sick leave.

Nominally, she was sent to the lower branch as a marketing specialist, but it was definitely a difficult position to deal with, and any old employee with a bit of skill was unwilling to accept such a drudgery.Xu Zhiheng even half-jokingly gave Su Yunjin a hint that if she changed her mind, maybe she wouldn't have to suffer such a hardship.

However, Su Yunjin sincerely declined Xu Zhiheng's "good intentions", she could not enjoy his help unscrupulously, and at this moment, it might be a good thing for her to be sent down.She used to envy the protagonists in TV dramas, and her feelings were hurt, so she left chicly and resolutely, wandering around the world, and returning to her hometown after many years is a different world.It's a pity that wandering around the world in reality requires capital. Most people are as ordinary as her. They get injured, roll in the mud, get up, wipe their faces, and drag their legs and have to move forward.This time, it doesn't matter whether it's a coincidence or a coincidence, the drudgery that others avoid, but it has become a dream opportunity for her to leave here and start over, even if the market environment is bad, No matter how poor the place she was going to be, at least she still had a job.Since she didn't die, she had to live a good life, to eat, to support her family, and she didn't have the right to sink in grief.

Needless to say, I have suffered all kinds of hardships after reporting to the branch office.Su Yunjin is not afraid of suffering, only afraid of looking back.In those few years, some people in the company gradually got to know Su Yunjin from the marketing department. She seemed to be a weak and weak woman. She usually talked very little and never said a word about things that had nothing to do with her. But things were left to her. No matter who you are, you can rest assured, because she will always complete it properly.The same errand, if you give her half a month, she can do it meticulously; but if you give her half a day, she can finish it on time even if she works hard.

At the wine table, there are always customers with ulterior motives who like to tease such a pitiful young woman like her on purpose. A glass of strong wine is placed in front of her, just waiting for her to act coquettishly and surrender.But she was not, and she was never arrogant. She just stood up and drank the wine quietly until there was no drop left.

Su Yunjin's calm and delicate appearance hides a stubborn ruthlessness. With her concentration and ruthlessness, she has gained a firm foothold in the branch that is least valued by the headquarters and has made some achievements. , even Xu Zhiheng had to look at her with admiration.In the third year of her assignment, she was transferred back to the headquarters as an assistant to the branch manager, and was assigned to the planning section under the marketing department, and was soon promoted to the deputy chief of the planning section.Although this is not a great position, after working for six years, as a young woman under 30 years old, no one will doubt her hard work and achievements.

After Su Yunjin returned to the headquarters, Xu Zhiheng had already taken off his deputy position and formally assumed the top position of the mainland head office.From the perspective of career prospects, it is a good choice to return to the headquarters after the experience, and three years have passed, time has passed, and no matter how deep the emotional injury is, it is also the past. This is one of the reasons why Su Yunjin obeyed the dispatch.But it was inevitable that she had more contacts with Xu Zhiheng.Xu Zhiheng once said with a smile that he did not misunderstand Su Yunjin, and he also gave Su Yunjin a lot of advice in public and private affairs, which saved her a lot of detours. Su Yunjin's success in her career cannot be said to be entirely without his credit.Without his support, no matter how well her project is done, she may not be able to implement it smoothly; at the critical moment of personnel assessment and promotion, facing competitors with the same conditions, it is unknown whether she can stand out without his help behind the scenes thing.Su Yunjin knew very well that if she couldn't resign quickly, the only thing she could do was to grit her teeth and do better, to prove to everyone that she deserved what she had now.

At this time, Xu Zhiheng had officially signed a separation agreement with his wife, and the divorce was only a matter of time.He told Su Yunjin that if what she cared about was his married status, he could give her an explanation.Su Yunjin has been single for nearly four years, and Xu Zhiheng has never changed his mind about her. It would be a lie to say that he is not attracted to her. In the eyes of many people, marrying a man with such conditions as him is a blessing that can only be dreamed of.However, Su Yunjin couldn't help comparing Xu Zhiheng with the person she kept in her heart.

If it was Cheng Zheng, would he gradually forget the partner he once loved because of the distance in time and space?Will he, like Xu Zhiheng, would rather break his ex-wife's heart than start a new life regardless?Will he also regard his future and interests as attractive bait and patiently wait for the prey to throw himself into the net?Su Yunjin clearly knew that such a comparison was stupid and unfair to Xu Zhiheng. At the moment when he was waiting for her to nod, she already believed that the person in front of her was a good choice, but there was a voice in her heart reminding him that he was not Cheng Zheng.Although Cheng Zheng's love is like a torrential storm, it is hard to breathe, but it is frank and pure. He often says hurtful words. In fact, he never asks for anything in return except for an equal emotional response.

Su Yunjin is not a person who is easily overwhelmed by passion, and she is even more cautious when dealing with feelings.She always has too many worries and precautions, and dare not give her sincerity easily.It was the same at the beginning of falling in love with Cheng Zheng, and it was the same when facing Xu Zhiheng.Several times she wavered in front of Xu Zhiheng's promise, but in the end it was always a little bit short, but this slight difference was insurmountable, this is the difference between Xu Zhiheng and Cheng Zheng.This time, she has forced herself to put aside the interference from past people and things, and try to seriously consider the future with Xu Zhiheng, but it is a pity that at the moment when she was wavering, Mrs. Xu who suddenly appeared with a glass of wine swallowed her She wakes up, and Cheng Zheng reappears in her world, setting off a huge wave.

The sound of rain in the middle of the night was very frightening, Su Yunjin put the half earring back away.Looking back on the past now, it seems like a lifetime away.

After parting with Cheng Zheng, they never saw each other again.How big can a city be to drown two people?God can allow two lovers to meet again at the ends of the earth, but they have not arranged for them to meet in the long time of four years, until the wedding yesterday.Presumably to punish them for not loving enough.

What does it mean to love deeply?In the whole year after the breakup, knowing that it was impossible for the two of them, his shadow was still everywhere. She always saw that familiar figure at every street corner and every time she turned around.Every night, in dreams and nightmares, he is there.Only gradually, it faded away. Time is really a terrible thing. It can heal everything, and scrape off the good or bad traces in the heart, leaving only a blurred scar. Later, she became more and more The less I think about everything about him, the less I can even dream about him.

Maybe Cheng Zheng is right, she is a heartless person, so it should be more fortunate, because the pain will be much less.But once Mo Yuhua said to her intentionally or unintentionally: "From a medical point of view, the loss of pain perception is actually a sick condition, and it is quite dangerous, because if a person doesn't know what pain is, then she doesn't know that she is hurting." how deep it must be."

(End of this chapter)