Li Yifeng's Autobiography and Essay Collection: 1987

Chapter 2 Ideal Jobs

extraordinary moment

I've always firmly believed that I would be a star.I never thought about other career possibilities, nor did I think about leaving any "retreat".I'm always waiting for a "different" moment to come.

With this vague general direction and no specific plans or steps, I never even worried about "what if": What if this dream cannot be realized?What if you can't wait for the day when it will happen?All I have is an unfounded confidence that I'm going to do something, and it won't be easy.I will not be just an ordinary and simple person.

I debuted as a draft singer, but after the competition, I gradually slipped into a long period of mediocrity, with no scandals or news, and no special presence in the hearts of the public.At that time, I felt like I was groping forward in a dark tunnel. I didn't know how long it would take before my eyes suddenly brightened up.In those nights, I often looked out the window blankly, and the tall buildings far and near cast layers of black shadows in the night.Occasionally I would sigh a long way, feeling like I had all the energy I had but nowhere else to go.At that time, most of the feedback from the outside world was shocking. I often had a lot of cranky thoughts at night, worrying about various "what to do": how to deal with the interview?What counts as a "point" on a variety show?Many nights I lay with my eyes open until dawn, but when I woke up and saw the bright sun, I forgot everything.

It was a tough time at that stage, but I never lost confidence.At that time, regardless of the environment or myself, I was not really prepared. I knew that I hadn't found the most appropriate foothold, and my moment had not yet come.The effect of releasing the album is mediocre, and I don't feel disappointed, because I didn't have any special hopes.I'm well aware that singing isn't my strongest skill, and it won't make me a blockbuster.I declined the company's arrangement to let me appear on a variety show. People around me thought I was crazy. What a great opportunity!But I know that even if I stand on the scene, I can only be a "set board" at most. Even if more people know me because of a program, the effect is extremely limited.What's the point of all this?The process of the talent show has made me understand that "popularity" is a vain thing, and without the support of works, the popularity that rises for a while can't last long.

I know very well that to go further, you have to be an actor.When I first started filming TV dramas, Ming Dao and I went to Taiwan to promote together. I played the role of "holding the microphone": the microphone was handed over to me, and I said "Thank you everyone" and passed it on to others.When I walked the red carpet, everyone was screaming, but no one could call my name, and that scene didn’t make me feel sad or lost—since there is no work to prove your value, you need to wait more patiently and the gestation of time.

I am not in a hurry, but the company is.They arranged training for me to deal with the media and tried to get some news points, but in my opinion, they were just evading some fundamental issues, such as their own business capabilities.I don't want to be swayed by these so-called patterns.Shaking a few witty words in the interview, selling misery at the right time to add drama to yourself, even if you can win a few entertainment news headlines and attract some attention, it is not a long-term strategy.I always firmly believe that only with good works can we have a good mentality.With your own masterpiece, others will see you and remember you, even if you don't speak, you will become the focus of the crowd.

The TV series "Gu Jian Qi Tan" was my turning point.That summer, the role of "Baili Tusu" made me a frequent visitor on the new media hot search list.When the TV series was in the third week, William Chan and I went to work in Hong Kong from Shanghai. When we were at the airport, we suddenly saw many fans seeing off the plane.Facing the overwhelming screams for the first time, both of us were very excited: Wow, it's finally our turn.Premonition is a very strange thing. Although I shot some other works around the same time, before the broadcast of "Gu Jian Qi Tan", I vaguely believed that the long-awaited moment was coming soon.

The explosive attention once made me feel nervous when I was being interviewed. Why would I ask this and that?These are completely unexpected problems.I said to myself, you must stay calm and control the scene, so that people will feel that you can receive this attention and have the potential to become a better actor; All axes are stressed.

To my relief, my childhood dream was not a fantasy.No matter how successful other people's methods are, it may not be applicable to me. Only by walking forward in a way that makes me comfortable can I approach my ideal.It may be self-confidence, it may be that all the frustrations have not hit my core values, or it may be that I have not really considered the possibility of failure, so I have gradually achieved the current results.People have to believe in the "Law of Attraction" a little bit, and never forget it, there will be echoes.

not a single standard

From elementary school to junior high school, my grades were not bad, and the double hundred points I got in elementary school are the highlights of my history.It's a pity that after entering high school, everyone is studying hard, but I am not very serious, and the gap has emerged.I am not particularly good at science. I feel sleepy when I take math class. Physics and chemistry also give me headaches.For the multiple-choice questions on the examination paper, after the third question, there will be no more questions. After answering the first question of the big question, you can only barely list all the formulas you can think of in the second question, so as to gain some points from the form It's all good, after that, there is absolutely nothing to do.Once, the classmate in the front row "helped" me and guided me to answer with gestures. The two of them cooperated too tacitly, and I got an unrealistically high score in the test.Cheating was originally just a bad way to muddle through. I still have a sense of shame and am very embarrassed.

If time can be turned back, I want to go back to high school and study hard again to see if I really don't have that talent, or just don't work hard.The reason for sharing these past embarrassments is that I believe that reading is not the only way to success, and grades are not the only criterion for judging a student's future.At every stage of our lives we come across standards of excellence, some visible and some invisible.But if you're only ten years old, how can you set your life's direction in school?The road ahead is still long, who can see the end at a glance.

I have also seen some news that some micro-businessmen or Internet celebrities have made a lot of money by doing business in a short period of time. They don't seem to need special knowledge accumulation, and they don't make special efforts. Everything comes naturally. went to the other extreme.What I want to say is that those who are not top-notch in school will also find a direction that suits them and have a good development. They should not lose confidence because of this, or be discouraged by some temporary evaluations from teachers.

When I entered junior high school, I was a sports student.A teacher read my information and took it for granted, "Well, most of the special students are punks."When I met my parents for the first time, he said in a meaningful tone: "We will meet often in the future." My parents felt very strange and asked him why, he only said: "Look." When I was just entering school, he didn't know me at all, didn't know that I was very good-natured, and I didn't even want to roll up the trouser legs of my school uniform. In my heart, that was the practice of a "bad student", which was far from his imagination. .

When I graduated, the teacher came to me to apologize. He thought he was very experienced, but he was wrong about me.I'm glad that time has changed his original prejudice, but we still encounter similar judgments everywhere. The standards of the moment and the single value system are full of arbitrary and subjective.In the process of growing up, everyone needs sincere encouragement. Wouldn't it be better to have more empathy?

I majored in broadcasting and hosting in college, but after a year of studying, I went to participate in the "Good Man" competition, and I couldn't practice Mandarin in a real sense.There are all kinds of regrets in school study, but I firmly believe that study itself should not be limited to a specific stage, but a lifetime thing.For a person to grow, what is more important is to have the ability and awareness to learn.After realizing the importance of learning, actively looking for channels is much more effective than forcing.For example, now, because of the needs of my work, my desire to learn a foreign language well is particularly urgent.Right now there is no fixed and complete time period for classes, but I have many opportunities to practice. Things always have two sides, whichever is longer is fine.

yellow hair, black suit

Since I aspire to be a star, of course I have to have an image worthy of this ideal.Boys' hairstyles are the most important thing. Since I was studying, I have to wash my hair before going out every day after getting up.When I was in the fifth and sixth grades of elementary school, the trend of hair dyeing had just emerged. It happened that I was born with yellowish hair. The teacher once suspected that I followed the fashion at a young age. It was not until my mother was invited to the school to explain the misunderstanding.

I have always belonged to the kind of "fashionable person" with more "outfits" in my class, but since the school stipulates to wear school uniforms, I can only change patterns on the T-shirts I wear inside.When participating in the "Good Man" competition, the appearance of the contestants is basically arranged by the stylist.However, the aesthetics of the times are limited, and competitions also require exaggerated costumes. Now I occasionally find some looks that were complacent and thought handsome at the time, and I can only frown and say...that's what.

I still remember the excitement of putting on a suit for the first time.There is a ceremony in the first year of college, and all boys are required to wear formal clothes to attend.There was only one thought in my mind: it was finally my turn!When I was young, every time I saw my father put on a suit, I thought he was too handsome. The super idol Andy Lau's neat and unrestrained suit in the movie has always been my yearning.

The suit is issued uniformly by the school.At that time, I had no idea at all. I didn't know what the real fit was, and the only criterion was that the sleeves were not long.Putting on the suit and the leather shoes I bought, I couldn't wait to walk downstairs, listening to the sound of the leather shoes "clacking" on the floor, I was full of pride and felt like a different person.

A group of boys were new to suits, posing for photos in different ways, thinking they were crazy and cool.After signing with a record company, my boss accidentally saw our group photo and commented that I "look like a bad boy".I have always wondered about this: Although the actual effect may be a little different from our imagination, but I am wearing a suit after all, how can I leave such an impression on others?I still find it both puzzling and funny.

There are more opportunities to wear suits now, and I also enjoy the feeling of wearing formal clothes.Every time I go abroad, I look forward to dressing up formally. I think it is a good opportunity to try. After all, in China, it seems too grand to wear a suit just to have a meal.

When I usually go out, I can usually find a satisfactory look by wearing two or three sets of clothes, but if I am unlucky that day, I will never find the "right" feeling.Magazines are one of my sources of inspiration. When I see a good look, I will keep it in my heart and try to do the same next time I go out.When I go out to work, I will not blindly stuff a bunch of "wearable or not" options into the box, but prepare a full set in advance according to the occasions I may attend, and then just take them out one by one.

I like unique trinkets very much. Apart from buying them myself, the happiest thing is receiving gifts from brands.Sometimes it's great to be unique in the crowd wearing those fancy gadgets that haven't hit the market yet.In order to find "uniqueness", I will be a little "unscrupulous" when buying things abroad, and I will accept what I like, regardless of the price.After checking the accounts last year, I was taken aback. The expenses were so high, I thought to myself that I should be more economical.As a Taurus, I don't regard "thriftiness" as the highest standard. To be able to support myself, to be able to make myself happy, and to let people around me enjoy it together is the original meaning of money.

Going to a fashion week abroad is also a great way to learn.In addition to being able to see the latest fashion and accessories, you can also meet with designers. Direct communication is also a kind of accumulation of resources.When I went to Fashion Week for the first time, I attended several brand conferences, and I was a little dizzy.Sitting in the guest seat for the first time, I was excited and overwhelmed. I can only sit in the first row with recognition, but how can I behave professionally?What kind of posture and expression should I pose so as not to lose my identity?I silently observed Beckham on the opposite side, um, just focus a little bit.After that, I asked to only participate in one brand's activities at a time, so that I could be more relaxed in terms of time and mentality.

For formal occasions such as the red carpet, I prefer a simple and neat formal dress with a bow tie.As an actor, I hope that the "face" is the part that impresses everyone the most, rather than all kinds of dazzling shapes.Shooting magazines or commercials is different. Since the emphasis is on creativity, I am willing to try any look—of course, it is best not to be too exaggerated.While both static photos and moving images require role-playing to some degree, photography requires more skill than filming.I can do any action more naturally and coherently in front of the camera, but when taking pictures, I must understand the photographer's "point" better, and the action should not be too hasty or too fast, otherwise the finished product will easily become a "moving emoticon package".

singer's consciousness

Of course I had a daydream: one of my hit songs was being played all over the street, and the aunts who danced in the square could open their mouths as soon as they knew it.But dreams are just dreams.

Many people say that the current music market is in decline, and they can't help but look back at the "golden age", when talents came out in large numbers and golden songs continued.But when I entered the industry, the entire market was no longer at its peak, and I couldn't empathize with the nostalgia for the past, so I wouldn't be disappointed by the current situation, and I didn't have the sense of responsibility to fight with my back.I just love to sing.Now that I am more of an actor, I am less "utilitarian": it doesn't matter if I release a single or an album; A lot of attention, and it doesn't have to be on the list or be distributed to a certain amount-interesting is the most important thing.

And I have self-knowledge, my singing talent is not that high, and it is difficult for me to reach a level as good as Zhang Jie in my life.In addition to talent, professional singers need persistent physical and voice training. No matter where they are, they must insist on running for two hours a day to increase lung capacity. I think I can't do it.Also, no matter what kind of show it is, don't ask me to dance, I'm born with insufficient coordination, and I don't want to make a fool of myself.

The strange thing is that after I started filming, I suddenly "lost" the ability to memorize lyrics, which was obviously my strong point before.I can only comfort myself: Maybe it is just according to the actual needs of the work, it has automatically transformed into the ability to quickly memorize lines.If there are parallels or tautological sentences in the upper and lower sentences of the lyrics, often after singing the first sentence, I can't remember what the second sentence is.I had to stare at the teleprompter at the concert, but I wanted to see the audience's reaction more.During the few seconds when the lifting platform is up, I always take off one earplug to feel the screams and "wow" sounds from all directions.At that moment, I seemed to be the king of the world - very satisfied and very energetic.

Every time I hold a concert, I feel very emotional.Especially when I was at the Chengdu Stadium, I thought that when I was a child, I came here to watch so many football matches and chased so many people's concerts. At this moment, I am standing on the same stage myself.That stadium can accommodate more than 1 spectators. When I think of so many people coming for me, I am very moved.There will always be many uncontrollable things happening on the scene, and the most worrying thing for me is the broken sound.But if this embarrassing situation really happens, I will relax instead. After this test is over, I will let go and sing.If the technology is not good enough, I can only make up for it with sincerity.Before I start singing, I will apologize to the fans, I can't sing well, thank you for coming.

I'm rarely nervous whether it's a concert or an award show, but I'm a little nervous about singing at the 20th anniversary party of Feng Xiaogang's comedy film.The people sitting in the audience are all colleagues. I was hesitant. I didn’t know whether I should fulfill the responsibility of a singer and interact with the audience.Fortunately, there is an invisible switch on my body, which can be turned on the moment I stand on the stage. Although I am always nervous when waiting for the stage, I forget everything when I step on the stage.

When filming the movie "Old Cannon", my schedule was very tight, but I gritted my teeth and squeezed out time to prepare a series of concerts, which is my promise to fans.The first show was held in Beijing. From the beginning to the end, I was immersed in a state of excitement, and I was overwhelmed by various emotions and emotions from time to time.After singing the last song that day, I screamed with everyone and took pictures with the team on the stage, and my emotions never came down.Because I was going to join the group early the next morning, I specifically asked that there was no need to arrange a celebration banquet. I felt that I was almost crazy, so I went home by myself.

That night I felt more alone than I had ever felt before.I regretted it a bit, and asked myself why I had to arrange the time so tight, there was no room for a buffer.I tossed and turned on the bed, unable to fall asleep. I really wanted to find someone to talk to, to let go of the high energy that I hadn't cleaned up just now.I scrolled through Weibo and Moments, and looked at the photos of the scene, as if the person standing on the stage was not me.But I was also afraid of delaying the next day's work, so I had to force myself to close my eyes, but I couldn't stop dreaming all night.I knew that as soon as I got to the set the next day, I would enter another character, ponder his story in his world, and my excitement would only stay tonight, as if nothing had ever happened.

(End of this chapter)