female sexual motivation

Chapter 12 The so-called love (3)
— Asexual female, 20 years old

Rosemary Bason, a famous female sexology researcher at the University of British Columbia, believes that such behaviors such as caressing are "by-products" of sex.

When a kiss is no longer a simple kiss

There is another very simple reason for women to have sex: he is a master kisser.Why an affectionate kiss can get a woman into bed is more complicated to explain.Kissing is definitely an unusual thing to consider from a primate perspective.Among primates, only humans other than bonobos have kissing behaviors.In more than 90% of the world, kissing behaviors exist between lovers or sexual partners.There are many kinds of kisses, gentle kisses, shy kisses, passionate kisses, excited kisses, sexy kisses, horny kisses, and so on.The lips are the most densely distributed sensory neurons.Kissing also touches the tongue, nose, and cheeks.Therefore, kissing mainly involves the senses of touch, smell, and taste, but sight (sexy lips) and hearing cannot be neglected.

One study found that after kissing, the body's stress hormone cortisol, the stress hormone, decreases.So, lovers can kiss away stress and sorrow.Kissing can also convey health information. Generally, people with diseases or poor health have bad breath.In addition, kissing is a litmus test for women.Through a kiss, women can decide whether to proceed to the next step, in other words, whether to hand over their bodies to each other to achieve the perfect combination of spirit and flesh.This touchstone role is even more important for women.According to a survey, 53% of men accept going to bed without kissing, compared to only 15% of women who said they would consider going to bed without kissing.Kissing can not only convey health information, but also make people feel excited and excited, making love more sweet.

For most women, a "failed kiss" is like a bucket of cold water poured on the head, which makes people lose all sexual interest.According to the results of a survey, 66% of women (58% of men) said that after a failed kiss, they could no longer be sexually interested.In the 2005 hit [-]'s All Love, dating expert Sheish (Will Smith) tells clients, "One dance, one look, one kiss, and that's enough... Is 'never Separation' or 'Hey, it's just a passer-by', try and see." In short, a small kiss can make a woman decide whether to embark on a love journey, and can help determine whether the other party is an ideal lover.This shows that kissing can not only understand each other's health status, but also determine whether each other's genes are complementary.Kissing is like a barometer of affection.

the power of caress

It was mentioned before that love can cause a rise and fall of chemicals in the brain, and even give birth to a new chemical.So is dependence and intimacy in relationships also related to brain chemicals?It turns out that sexual intercourse triggers the brains of animals to secrete two hormones, vasopressin and oxytocin, that are associated with intimacy between animals of the opposite sex, and thus, possibly, emotional attachment in humans.

After orgasm, both vasopressin and oxytocin increase in a woman's body.It is vasopressin that increases the most in men, while oxytocin spikes in women.Currently, not a lot of research has been done on the effects of oxytocin on human emotions.Some researchers claim that after using oxytocin nasal drops, people are more trusting and generous to others.Other researchers claim that vasopressin and oxytocin give people a feeling of comfort, security, and dependence.Oxytocin is released when people are massaged or caressed, so oxytocin is also called the "love hormone".Oxytocin has antidepressant effects.Regardless of how it's released, researchers agree that the natural burst of these two hormones produces a "sweet" feeling.

Two sex educators in New York are convinced of this. In 2004, Reid Michalko founded the Hug Party, where mainly singles attend the Hug Party. You can enjoy a warm hug for about an hour with an admission fee of $30.In the past few years, about 1 people have experienced the feeling of being hugged by a stranger. They hope to relieve stress through hugging and enjoy caress without emotional burden. (Sex is banned at the party, and there are guards for that.)
Of greatest concern to the scientific community is the stimulating effect of oxytocin.Oxytocin increases uterine contractions during labor and speeds up the labor process, so oxytocin means "rapid labor" in Greek.An example can prove the catalyzing effect of oxytocin.In the United States, 75 percent of pregnant women receive oxytocin before giving birth.China's maternal mortality rate is much lower than that of the United States.In China, women are sometimes given cold showers to induce labor.Because cold water will stimulate the nipples, after the nipples are stimulated, the brain will release more oxytocin.The midwives' method of icing the nipples of parturients has a long history.Ice packs and cold showers can both play a role in stimulating labor during difficult labor.

Oxytocin can also stimulate maternal milk production and establish a mother-child bond through caress between mother and baby.Researchers have proven this.When an animal is injected with an oxytocin inhibitor, the animal stops nursing or even rejects its offspring altogether.Conversely, if you inject oxytocin into a mouse that has never given birth or even copulated, the mouse will explode in maternal love and begin to caress and care for other people's pups as if they were their own.

love starts in the brain

Numerous studies have proved that oxytocin can induce motherhood in animals, including mice and sheep.At the same time, many researchers believe that oxytocin can create a sexual bond between animal mates, and the same applies to humans.

Diane Witt, a researcher at Binghamton University at the State University of New York, has proposed that when a person sees a crush, there is an increase in oxytocin in the brain.Recall the Russian Nobel laureate Pavlov and his dog.Dogs salivate when they see food.According to this principle, Pavlov did an experiment.Ring the bell each time before delivering food to the dog.After a period of time like this, when the bell rang, the dog began to salivate.This forms a conditioned reflex.By the same token, Witt believes that just seeing a loved one will automatically increase oxytocin in the brain.

For example, a woman who was dating her boyfriend for the first time decided that he was too far away from her ideal lover, Clint Eastwood, but he was passable, so she decided to meet up a few more times.After several times of you coming and going, the two developed to the point of skin-to-skin relationship.She finally experienced the feeling of "going to death", and the brain also released oxytocin.After many repetitions of this situational condition and instinctive response, a conditioned reflex was formed between her and the man.In other words, as long as she sees this man, her brain will secrete oxytocin.In a blink of an eye, "I can get by" has become "How can I live without you".Some researchers believe that being in a relationship with someone for a long time means that oxytocin and its close relative vasopressin remain high in the brain for a long time.And oxytocin and vasopressin may be just the love antiseptics.

Not long ago, researchers linked oxytocin to monogamy in the animal kingdom for the first time.Except for humans, only 3% of mammals practice "monogamy", and the others are basically amorous.The prairie dog is a typical example. Once married, the young couple will stay together for life until the end of time.They live together, avoid other members of the opposite sex, and raise their children together.His cousin, the meadow gopher, is the opposite, more amorous and has no interest in parenting.Female meadow gophers are also not good and conscientious mothers, and they slap their butts and leave soon after giving birth.

These two types of voles are 99% genetically similar, making them close relatives, but why do they behave so differently?It turns out that this has something to do with the oxytocin and vasopressin in their bodies.Dedicated prairie dogs produce more oxytocin and vasopressin, and have denser brain receptors that detect and use the two love hormones.

It was only recently that scientists discovered that the same area of ​​the prairie dog's brain responsible for oxytocin and vasopressin also houses dopamine, which is critical for the "reward effect."Dopamine is released in the brain when humans (including animals) engage in the most basic activities of survival and reproduction (eating, drinking, making love).The pleasurable feeling of dopamine creates a "reward" for these behaviors, enticing people to repeat them over and over again.The same area of ​​the brain in prairie dogs is responsible for both the "reward effect" and the "love hormone."This suggests that their retention is due to a "reward effect".But in the brains of meadow gophers, the regions responsible for the "reward effect" and the "love hormone" are separate, so they're more playful.

(End of this chapter)