female sexual motivation

Chapter 15 The Pleasure of Conquest (2)
Since fame is so important to a woman, she shouldn't just have sex with the opposite sex because of competition.But in fact, some women will take risks for the thrill of conquest:

In middle school, I would take pride in the fact that I had a lot of sex partners... I would get excited before sex, thinking "Another one! I got another one!" Conquer.

—Heterosexual female, 26 years old

In my opinion, sex is pleasure, and I enjoy finding, seducing, and capturing men.Conquest is exhilarating, like sexual pleasure.

—Heterosexual female, 20 years old

Each of us wants to set a goal and work hard to achieve it.If I achieve my goal, which is to bring the man home, then I feel a sense of accomplishment.

—Heterosexual female, 26 years old

Showing off is also one of the motivations for women to have sex.One woman interviewed said that she flaunted not to disdain the same sex but to show her sexual attractiveness:
Hey, that's silly to say... there are always some gay guys around who flirt with girls blatantly, and then say "oh, I like beautiful women's bodies, but..." or something.I am deeply angry about this.I was so drunk one night that I challenged one of the gays on the strength of the drink - we had sex that night.At that time, I felt that I was amazing because I turned a gay man into a straight man...

—Heterosexual female, 22 years old

Several of the interviewed women were also open about their sense of competition—not just to snatch a lover, but to beat other women:
I am competitive.In middle school, my best friend always attracted boys.Although I don't like boys very much, I can't stand her being so popular.So I started to grab her boyfriend, which at least proves that I am no worse than her.As long as she expresses interest in a certain boy, I will immediately pursue him, saying that as long as he dates with me, he can have my body at any time.We hid under the table during class and kissed wildly, and found a cabinet or a hidden place to have sex between classes.

- gay woman, 23

This aspect of sex can really hook a man because he craves low-cost, low-risk sex — which is good for men, both evolutionarily and clinically.

In fact, it is easier to get the opposite sex who has excellent conditions in temporary sex than in long-term love.From this point of view, the competition between women may be mainly to establish prestige in the circle of friends:
I once had an affair with a household name who was especially popular in our area.I didn't have sex with him to fall in love with him, just because a few female friends around me were particularly interested in him... I knew they definitely wanted to date him, but I wanted to start first, I wanted to have him first.I knew on our first date that we were going to have sex...I couldn't wait for them to know that I was already with him.It feels great.It was not someone else but me who got him.My friends are jealous of me for this.

—Heterosexual female, 23 years old

When I was younger, I used to go to bars with my friends.At that time, I felt that we were competing with each other, and we had to compare who would get the man.After drinking and messing around at the bar, I would take him back to the apartment I shared with my friends, so I could let them know I had him.

—Heterosexual female, 26 years old

Of course, the thrill of victory doesn't just come from overnight loot.In 2008, singer-actress Jessica Simpson and her boyfriend Tony Romo, a linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys, showed off their love for each other in public, with Jessica wearing a T-shirt that read " If you are a woman, you will eat meat."Fans thought it was an obvious dig at Romo's vegan ex-girlfriend.

fight for true love
What women compete with each other is not only dewy lovers, but also lovers who can grow old together. The "Bachelor" and "Bachelorette" reality shows feature guests vying for a lifelong love, though only "The Bachelorette" has resulted in a few couples so far.

When the rivalry is a long-term lover, sexual rivalry becomes subtle rather than explicit:

My girlfriend is young, beautiful, and very rich, so she has an arrogant personality.While she and I were in a relationship, she also regularly dated other men.The first time she seduced me, I turned her down because I wasn't very confident.But the second time she took the initiative again, I agreed, and I hoped to win her over.

- gay woman, 20

Sexting is a competitive tactic, but several of the women interviewed said it was by no means a panacea:

In middle school, I fell in love with a boy beyond my control.He also started "noticing" me later, I wanted to be his girlfriend, so I had sex with him desperately, hoping to make him fall in love with me...he didn't...he just wanted to have sex.

—Heterosexual female, 35 years old

As a teenager, there were many times when I thought I could only keep my boyfriend if I had sex with him, and if I said no to him, then he would definitely leave me.Because I'm young, it's okay to think this way, but I'm a little disappointed, because many times even if a relationship occurs, those who can't keep it still can't keep it after all.

—Heterosexual female, 33 years old

In a mate selection competition, for every winner, there are many losers.When sex does not bring long-term love, women often have a feeling of being played with, and it is inevitable to fall into a depressed state of mind. Chapter 3 mentioned that during sex, the brain secretes the love hormone, oxytocin, which may be the cause of this mood change.According to the Swedish physiologist Jonas Moberg, oxytocin “induces tenderness, curiosity rather than fear, trust and warmth rather than anger. As oxytocin builds up, The heart and the entire circulatory system will slow down, and at this time, people will feel gentle, calm, let go of their guards, become sensitive, cheerful, and care about those around them."Therefore, when two people are in love, this change will make the love sweeter and the love stronger.On the contrary, if the courtship fails, the previous sweetness will turn into unbearable pain.Some scientists believe that when a lovelorn is broken, there will be a phenomenon of "oxytocin ebb" in the brain. Due to the sudden decrease of the love hormone, women often feel that their mood has plummeted and they are in great pain after breaking up.

Tooth for tooth
As mentioned earlier, women may compete with each other for the thrill of victory, or to impress their friends, but not only that, competition is sometimes for revenge:

I went on vacation with my friends and met some boys there.I like one of the boys, and it so happens that my friend has a crush on him too.I probably wouldn't have taken any action, but I had a fight with my friend and I can't remember why.So I decided to go on the offensive with the guy and started flirting with him, doing everything I could to seduce him.At that time, I was still very young (only 18 years old), and I was still ignorant about the relationship between men and women.But I decided to sleep with him anyway, I wanted to get revenge on my friend and prove that I was better than her and more attractive than her.At that time, I was out of anger, so I did it.At that time I was still proud of my success.

—Heterosexual female, 26 years old

One woman interviewed described sleeping with someone's ex-boyfriend in revenge:

There was a girl in middle school who always had a hard time with me because I got closer to her boyfriend.She made things difficult for me everywhere and made trouble for me.A few years later I had a relationship with one of her exes (not the one from middle school) and I wanted to get back at her and drive her crazy.It gave me a sense of balance and made me feel like I was the one having the last laugh.

—Heterosexual female, 22 years old

Women may also be jealous of celebrities, especially those in music and sports.These women who pursue relationships with celebrities are collectively referred to as flesh and blood.Flesh and skin are graded, and the so-called "bass player effect" is the best proof: the bass player is different from the lead vocalist or the main guitarist, and generally plays silently in the corner of the stage, so people feel that they have a low status, so they don't have so much status. attractive.For some girls who have indeed risen from stardom to stardom, the word "flesh and skin" is not a derogatory term.Cameron Crowe's 2000 film "Fame is Coming" tells such a story. The protagonist of the film is Penny Lane (played by Kate Hudson), and the protagonist is based on two people Cameron knew. "Superbones," one was indeed Penny Lane, and the other Bibi Bill.In real life, Penny Lane denies being a "flesh and skin" and says she's a "band assistant," while Bill prefers to call herself a "song god" because of her relationship with famous musician Elvis Coase Tello and Steven Tyler, singer of the well-known band Aerialsmiths, had a longer romantic history.Bill also rose to celebrity status through two rock stars, and has a daughter, Liv, a film and television star, with singer Steven Tyler.This suggests that super sexy men can indeed pass on good genes to the next generation.

Bones and skins are so common in the music industry that dozens of bands have played and sung them, including the Beatles' "She Came in Through the Bathroom Window," about a flesh and blood breaking into Paul McCarter's house. The story of the Ni family (the highest honor for flesh and blood may be to be written into a song and sung forever).In order to attract attention, some flesh and blood will write "lovely" autobiographical books, disclosing their romantic affairs to the world.Another "Superbone" Pamela Des Barrez has four books, one of which is aptly titled Let's Live the Night Together, and she's almost a 20s Los Angeles The unofficial spokesperson for the music industry.She says she has shared a bed with rock legends Jim Morrison of The Doors, Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin and Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones.In her memoir, "It's No Secret: From Nas to Jay-Z, From Seduction to Gossip - Troy's Hip-Hop Helen Tells," Carmen Bryan recalls her relationship with rapper Nas and his nemesis Jay-Z. Love, she and Nass have a daughter, the book also talked about a romantic love story between the author and NBA defensive player Allen Iverson, she wrote: "He is a muscular man..."

窃偶
Whether it's siblings or friends from the same social circle, the winner of a doppelganger fight has a lot to offer, and mutual hostility can become tense—because most women think there are too few good men.

(End of this chapter)