female sexual motivation

Chapter 3 How to touch a woman's heart (1)
Yushu faces the wind, suave, handsome and humorous

Beauty is a stronger letter of recommendation than any language. —Aristotle (384-322 BC)
Sex is a panacea.From love at first sight, to falling in love, to long-lasting love, it all starts with sex.Sex has cast countless brilliant literary masterpieces and carved them into poignant and touching movie stories, such as "Romeo and Juliet" written by Shakespeare, the literary master, "Titanic" directed by James Cameron, the king of movies, and Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman's haunting love story "Casablanca."The classic love story perfectly interprets women's sexual psychology, but it is the biochemical reaction in a woman's body that ultimately leads a woman to sex.

The psychology of sex has never been taken seriously by people, and sex is simply equated with an affair.But in fact, sex is everywhere, from entertainment gossip columns that tease celebrities' clothing issues, to websites listing sexiest celebrity rankings, to flirty car or iPad commercials.Sex breeds love, without sex, love is water without a source and tree without roots.When the initial sexual attraction wears off over time, former lovers go their separate ways.Sex makes life wonderful and youthful, but we don't know why we are attracted to each other.Sometimes, we will dictate our favorite type, thinking that the other party must have a certain quality, or must be like a certain star.Of course, celebrities are popular lovers, everyone loves them.Among the women interviewed, many specifically pointed out the appearance or personality characteristics of the other party that attracted them, but a considerable number of them could not tell the reason: I just like him.Some people replied that because he is handsome; he has a hot body; he has a pair of charming eyes; he has a cute smile; he dances well; he is so handsome that my heart beats.Others were more direct: He was too sexy, I couldn't resist.

The question discussed in this chapter is what kind of man is sexy in the eyes of women, and how this sexiness is produced.Why can the strong smell of sweat and deep voice arouse a woman's sexual desire?If men are visual creatures, why do so many women go crazy over Antonio Banderas or George Clooney?Is it true that a man must be personable to be able to touch a woman's heartstrings?How can a plain looking man make a woman captivated by his dazzling charm?When does physical attractiveness take over?
Mutual attraction is a subconscious behavior.Therefore, some people try to explain it from the perspective of evolution.Evolutionary psychologists believe that certain qualities in men that attract women have nothing to do with culture. (Similarly, some of the traits that make women attractive to men have nothing to do with culture.) When a woman perceives a man as sexually attractive, isn't she unconsciously picking a mate that's good for her?Biologists pointed out that women tend to choose: first, men with genetic advantages, because high-quality genes make the next generation more survivable and easier to pass on to the next generation.The second is men with resource advantages, because they can make women and children have no worries about food and clothing, and have enough sense of security to thrive.

All in all, a woman's mate selection criteria are deeply influenced by evolutionary factors, and of course, the way people work, live, dress and socialize now also play a role.

meet love
Stories of encounters are staged all the time in life.Maybe it's in a college class, maybe it's in a coffee shop, maybe it's near your house in a remote suburb, maybe it's in your office cubicle where you work all day.Because the distance is close, so we meet each other.

Close proximity produces love.In the 20s, people conducted a survey of 30 couples married in 1931. The survey question was the living distance of the couple before marriage.One-third of the respondents lived within 5000 blocks, and more than half of the respondents lived within 1 blocks.Several surveys done over the past few decades have yielded similar results.For example, in a classroom with fixed seats, the seats determine the closeness of students.Students in the middle row are more likely to make friends than those in the back row.If seats are arranged by name, students with close initials usually become friends.

People who are close to each other may not be able to collide with sparks of love, but repeated contact (enough times) can increase the probability of falling in love.One study found that multiple brief face-to-face encounters — no longer than 35 seconds and no conversation — can increase mutual liking.In other words, we like familiar faces.In another study, four equally attractive female research assistants took a university course. The first assistant attended 15 courses in one semester, the second 10, the third 5, and the fourth once. They didn't go either, and none of the four had any verbal communication with their classmates.At the end of the semester, all male and female students rate the four according to their liking.Although all four were strangers to the students, the assistant researcher who attended the most lectures scored the highest.

Facts have proved that the more familiar something is, the more we like it, whether it is a person, a painting, a song, a new advertising product, a political candidate, a foreign word, or even a meaningless word. of syllables.During the critical period of first acquaintance, the more contact you have, the more you can improve your goodwill.Why?Because when we encounter new people or new things for the first time, we feel somewhat uneasy, if not anxious.But once you are born and you are familiar again, the feeling of strangeness will gradually disappear.When you gradually get used to the words and deeds of the other party, getting along will become harmonious.

Therefore, when you get close to each other, eye contact becomes particularly important.The four eyes that are full of affection are the most lethal to those men and women who are naturally "romantic".They believe in love at first sight, believe in "the only one in life", and believe that love is the foundation of marriage.In one study, 24 pairs of men and women were invited into a laboratory to talk and look each other directly in the eye.It turns out that eye contact can evoke strong emotions.Most people said that making eye contact with a stranger of the opposite sex felt like an electric shock.As one interviewed woman put it:

I think men who are mysterious and reticent are the most alluring.Once, I met a man with fiery eyes but few words.I had sex with him and he made me passionate.

—Heterosexual female, 33 years old

In another study, strange men and women first talked about the details of personal life for half an hour, and then looked at each other for 4 minutes without interruption, and they were not allowed to talk.Similarly, most people are deeply attracted to each other, and one of them finally entered the palace of marriage!
However, digging too deep can backfire, turning what was initially an advantage into a disadvantage.The man who used to be "humorous and witty" has become "ugly"; he used to praise him for being "natural and casual", but now he blames him for being "irresponsible"; Perseverance" has become "stubborn".Indeed, keeping a sense of mystery can arouse women's sexual desire more, and this is also applicable to men.Mystery can add personal charm, on the contrary, excessive exposure will destroy the image.A woman once described her sexual experience like this, "Excessive intimacy is more disappointing than instant shock."

Excessive intimacy can quench the burning desire.In contrast, novelty can arouse a woman's love.The famous American psychologist Baim said brilliantly, "It is the novelty and mystery that make people imagine".In fact, in college classrooms, when teachers ask girls to list sexual qualities in men, they always list the word "mysterious."

God has endowed human beings with the senses of seeing, hearing, smelling, touching and tasting.The stimulation of the five senses plus skin-to-skin contact can greatly arouse people's sexual desire.indeed so.Think about it, isn't the most fascinating thing about a woman's body the charming smell?Unfortunately, sexy taste has never received the attention of the scientific community.

charming taste

As we all know, smell can arouse strong emotions in people's hearts. Think about it, a fresh fragrance rushes to your face, evokes your deep memories of your former lovers, and makes your heart turbulent and unable to calm down.This is because the olfactory nerve has an unusual design. Unlike other sensory nerves, the olfactory nerve can transmit sensory signals to various parts of the brain and stimulate them to become active.Therefore, taste can always induce rich emotional memories in people's hearts.Taste is a colorful memory, but not only that, it is also the trump card that fascinates women.

Scholars at Brown University once launched a questionnaire called "Sensory Stimulation and Sex", and found that when a woman chooses a lover, what she values ​​most is what she smells, not what she sees (the second most important), hearing sound or touch.One interviewee said of her sexual partner:
He exudes a charming fragrance, has a pair of winking eyes, and is personable.I was smitten with him, even with his French accent.

—Heterosexual female, 23 years old

Maybe men are born with a slow sense of smell or visual animals, and the fragrance of women cannot immediately arouse men's sexual desire.On the contrary, taste is the trump card to capture a woman's heart.Fresh and pleasant can fascinate women, but foul smell can only frighten women.

Why are women so sensitive to body odor?There is a new discovery in the scientific community.Scientists were surprised to find that a woman's sense of smell is most acute during the ovulation period, which only has a 24-hour time window per month, and this period is also the period of conception.Therefore, scientists speculate that smell also affects a woman's chances of conception.Scientists came to this conclusion by accident when they were studying the immune function of the human body.

The major histocompatibility complex, or MHC for short, located on chromosome 6, contains the genes responsible for the body's immune function, that is, resistance to disease-causing viruses or bacteria.Humans have different MHC genomes, or different alleles of the MHC genome, which geneticists call "polymorphisms."It turns out that women benefit from sex with a mate with a dissimilar MHC genome in two ways.First, the MHC genomes are different, suggesting that the genes overall are also different.So for women, men with different MHC genomes are more attractive, thus avoiding inbreeding.The consequences of close relative marriages are unimaginable, and the children born generally have severe congenital disabilities such as mental retardation.Second, children born to couples with complementary MHC genomes are strong, healthy, immune-strengthened and less prone to disease.

But the question is how will women judge each other to have different MHC genomes in order to produce healthy offspring?An experiment done by Brazilian scientists can illustrate the problem. The scientists asked 29 men to wear close-fitting cotton underwear for 5 days, so that the underwear can fully absorb their sweat and body odor.Then 29 women were randomly asked to smell each piece of underwear and judge whether they liked the smell on the underwear.Previously, the scientists performed MHC genomic analysis of each participant's blood.It was found that the men that women thought smelled the best had MHC genomes that were complementary to them, while the men that women thought smelled stinky generally had MHC genomes that were similar to them.It is indeed incredible that women can use their sense of smell to identify the genome that determines immune function.

Women's keen sense of smell also controls libido.Evolutionary psychologist Christine Cavor of the University of New Mexico and colleagues analyzed the differences in the MHC genomes of 48 pairs of sexual partners.The study found that the greater the similarity between the MHC genomes of the two parties, the lower the "sexual interest" of women in their sexual partners, the less lustful they are, and the lower the frequency of sexual life.The biggest headache for a partner is (assuming he knows) that if his MHC genome is similar to hers, she will often have fantasies about other men, especially around the time of ovulation in the menstrual cycle.What's worse is that she not only cheated mentally, but also cheated frequently and fell into the arms of other men.If the MHC genome similarity rate of the two parties reaches 50%, then 50% of the women will have an affair.

Therefore, women are deeply attracted by the smell of men, which has deep evolutionary roots.Unknowingly, a woman falls in love with a man who is genetically different from her.

There is another unknown reason why women are obsessed with the smell of men, and that is body symmetry.Most people's bodies are symmetrical: the left and right wrists are the same thickness, the left and right ears are the same length, and from head to toe, the left and right halves of a person face each other like a mirror inside a mirror.But the human body is rarely perfectly symmetrical, mainly for two reasons.One is the genetic factor. Everyone has multiple genetic variants, which geneticists call a "mutational load."It is estimated that there are hundreds of genetic variants in the human body, but the exact number varies from person to person.In short, the more mutated genes, the more asymmetrical the body.The second is environmental factors. In the process of growth and development, some people may be weak and sick or become disabled, resulting in deformation of the body or face.In short, symmetry is a sign of good health, indicating a smaller "mutation load," experiencing fewer injuries, or recovering from illness.

Because symmetry represents health, so the symmetry of the human body can give people a sense of complete beauty, so women will be attracted by well-proportioned men.In fact, it is difficult to determine the symmetry of the human body at a glance, but women can make judgments through the sense of smell. It has to be said that this is a mysterious ability.

But is it so?Scientists did an experiment in which men wore white cotton T-shirts for two nights, and then put the T-shirts in plastic bags for storage.Scientists use calipers to measure various parts of men's bodies in the laboratory, including wrists, ankles, earlobes, etc., to determine the degree of symmetry of their bodies.Finally, the women were asked to smell the T-shirt in the bag and judge whether it smelled good.Men with more shapely bodies are most sought after, while men with less symmetrical bodies are frowned upon.Four experiments were carried out, and the results were the same.

Women find shapely men very attractive, especially when they are ovulating, which is when women are most fertile.Obviously, women's keen sense of smell is the result of evolution, and when they choose a mate, they tend to choose healthy men with high-quality genes.The lovers that women seek when they cheat are generally well-proportioned, which once again shows that men with well-shaped figures are the most arousing women.

Exude sexy "masculine flavor"

The charming taste not only affects women's mate selection, but also affects the time and frequency of women's sex, and even the probability of conception.Relevant scholars have pointed out that often smelling pheromones emitted by men can increase the probability of pregnancy in women.Pheromones are secretions from glands in the mouth, armpits, breasts, anus, urinary tract, etc.Except for humans, other mammals have a special olfactory organ called "vomeronasal organ", which can recognize pheromone signals and "host" the mating rituals of the animal kingdom.A study found that having regular sex (at least once a week) can adjust a woman's menstrual cycle, increase a woman's basal body temperature and thus increase the chances of conception, and increase estrogen secretion during the luteal phase, which is the day after ovulation until the day before menstruation .Another study noted that women who had sex more than twice in 40 days ovulated far more often than women who had less sex.

(End of this chapter)