female sexual motivation

Chapter 33 The Dark Side of Love (3)
In addition to causing serious psychological trauma to the victim, sexual violence will also affect the normal sex life of the victim in the future.Surveys by Maston's Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory show that many victims report sexual dysfunction after experiencing sexual violence that can last for decades.Some victimized women have completely lost their sexual desire, while others have done the opposite-engaging in unrestrained high-risk sex.Some victimized women are very afraid of sex life. When their partners actively tender, they will have acute anxiety disorder (also known as panic attack).Some victimized women cannot be sexually aroused or reach orgasm, and some even have pain during sexual intercourse.Some suffer from vaginismus, which refers to the involuntary violent and continuous contraction of the muscles around the vagina during sexual intercourse, making it impossible to insert an erect penis or even a tampon.

The effect of psychological trauma treatment depends on the victimization situation of the woman, such as whether there is penetration, whether there is injury, whether there is repeated victimization, age at the time of victimization, identity of perpetrator, etc.The good news is that treatments for the trauma of violence in women, such as stress immunity training and extended exposure therapy, have grown enormously over the past decade.Stress immunity training includes psychotherapy, role-playing, deep muscle relaxation, breath control exercises, coping skills, and thought-stopping techniques to stop the victim from constantly rethinking the victimization experience.In prolonged exposure therapy, the victim revisits the situation through imagination.They vividly described the situation aloud to the therapist in the present tense.This therapy needs to be repeated.Homework is generally at least once a day to listen to the recording of the victimization process.The short-term effect of this therapy is that anxiety worsens, but in the long-term, as the situation is repeated, the victim becomes less anxious.In one study, researchers compared three treatments for sexual violence trauma, general anxiety disorder, PTSD, and depression in rape victims: counseling, stress immunity training, and prolonged exposure therapy.The treatment time is 90 minutes every two weeks, a total of 9 sessions.It was found that prolonged exposure therapy was most effective in treating PTSD symptoms.

In our survey, one woman interviewed said that counseling helped her regain her self-confidence:
I was 17 at the time, freshman in college.I went out on a date with a guy friend and we had a lot of fun, went out for pizza for dinner and then went back for a walk around campus.In the evening he and I came back to my place and we slept together, which was fine because we knew each other.When I was sleeping in the middle of the night, I woke up suddenly and found that he was touching my lower body.I said don't do this, but he raped me regardless of my resistance.I didn't dare to fight too much because he was big and I was afraid he would hurt me.In the morning, I asked him to leave immediately. I felt that I had been greatly humiliated, and I felt sick in my heart.I went to the hospital for help, but spent the next few months feeling extremely depressed.Eventually I went to counseling and after therapy I let go and felt like I was still a beautiful good girl.

—Heterosexual female, 23 years old

Maston's lab is conducting a 5-year study of a writing intervention and its efficacy for sexual dysfunction in women who are victims of rape.All of the participating women have had traumatic sexual experiences and are currently in sweet love.The researchers asked the participating women to write a 30-minute essay (at least 5 times a week) describing what kind of sexual partner they were.We told the participating women to try to relate past, present, and future sexual and emotional experiences in as much detail as possible.So far, the treatment effect is satisfactory.Many women who complete treatment report a dramatic improvement in the quality of their sex life.Most reassuring was the fact that several of the women involved said our research had changed their lives.

Why writing about past traumatic sexual experiences has a positive effect, we have so far not found a concrete answer.But there are several possible reasons.First, writing creates a private environment for the victim to release the negative emotions that have built up in the mind.Writing about the past has become a way of venting.Second, the victim organizes a clear line of thought through writing.Unlike dictating the past, when you write it down, you have to give the beginning, the middle, and the end of the story.In this way, the victim knows that the sexual violence happened in the past, and that the experience will be "frozen" forever at a certain time in the past, and will not return to the present or future to disrupt their normal life.Finally, by writing about past experiences, the victim is re-exposed to the horrific past, which increases the victim's anxiety at first, but with repeated repetitions, the nightmarish experiences of the past no longer trigger intense emotions Variety.

prevent sexual assault

Sexual assault is not a new phenomenon, on the contrary, in human history, sexual assault has a long history.Anthropologist Peggy Sandy analyzed 156 tribal societies with the help of the Standard Cultural Sample.She found that women were more raped in tribal societies where they used to live in the man's house after marriage.Other studies have found that women are more likely to be sexually or domestically abused when they have no blood relatives in the immediate area.Sandy pointed out that rape of women is more common in tribal societies where clan disputes exist.In cultures with high rates of rape, women tend to have low status and no political voice.But rape occurs most frequently in cultures that honor male violence and force.

A glance at ancient human texts shows just how common rape is.Biblical texts are full of texts that regulate rape and punish rapists.The "Assyrian Law" in 2000 BC has this provision: "If a lord rapes a virgin in the city or at a city banquet, the father of the virgin may take the rapist's wife to be raped by others." The Bible "Numbers" 31:17-18 and 31:35 reads: "Therefore, you shall kill every male child and every married woman. and keep her alive...there were thirty-two thousand women, all unmarried." Chapter 34 of Genesis tells of a Hittite prince who raped Jacob's daughter Dinah, who "saw her, take her and commit adultery with her, and defile her.”

Historical records also show that rape of women was widespread during times of war.Some anthropologists pointed out that the robbing of women is sometimes the main cause of wars.The feared conqueror Genghis Khan (1162-1227) regarded women as one of the great benefits of war, "The greatest pleasure in life is to kill the enemy, take away their property, watch their relatives cry, ride their horses, and raped their wives and daughters".In her book Against Our Will, Susan Brownmiller details the rape of civilians in modern warfare.For example, when Japan occupied Nanjing during World War II, there were at least 2 cases of rape against women by the Japanese army. In 1945, when the Soviet army attacked Germany, many women were raped. "The Soviet army took German women as trophies." In the mid-20s, an estimated 90 Bosnian Muslim women were raped by Bosnian Serbs. In January 2, Hillary Clinton pointed out at the Secretary of State review hearing that the mass rape of women in Congo has become a weapon of war, which is one of the global problems that the United States urgently needs to address.

Rape throughout human history even shows up in art and literature.For example, the legendary "The Rape of the Sabine Women" narrated by the Greek historians Plutarch and Livy tells such a story: The Romans quietly broke into the Sabines while inviting their neighbors to their banquet. city, and robbed many young and beautiful women there.During the Renaissance, many works were based on this legend. The 20th century art master Pablo Picasso also had a painting with the theme of "The Rape of the Sabine Women".

The purpose of briefly reviewing history here is to illustrate the fact that rape is a constant nightmare for women all over the world.We don't need theories to prove how much rape hurts women, but we need to understand why rape hurts so much.From an evolutionary perspective, rape interferes with women's mate selection.A raped woman may conceive an unwanted child, may be blamed or punished for it, her reputation may be damaged, it may be difficult to find a spouse, and so on.If the victimized woman is married or has a boyfriend, she is at risk of being abandoned.In addition, the victimized women suffered enormous mental torture, including feeling humiliated, anxious, fearful, angry, and depressed.

Given the dire consequences of rape, it would be illogical for women to have no defense against it.Women majoring in evolutionary psychology and evolutionary anthropology were among the first researchers to study women's defense against rape:
Make a special male friend for protection. (Anthropologist Barbara Smits)

I like strong and powerful men to deter men who plot evil. (Psychologists Margo Wilson and Sarah Mesnick)

Make female allies for protection. (Barbara Smits)

Women are very sensitive to red flags and avoid putting themselves in dangerous situations. (Psychologists Tara Shivani and Gordon Gallup)
During ovulation, women avoid risky activities in case they are raped when they are most fertile. (Sarah Mesnick and Gordon Gallup)

The traumatic trauma of rape motivates women to avoid the same situation in the future. (Anthropologist Nancy Thornhill and biologist Handy Thornhill)
The extent to which these preventive measures are effective requires further research, but we believe that research on sexual assault preparedness is severely lacking and that research funding is urgently needed.

In addition to the precautions listed above, we propose three alternatives.First, with blood relatives.In primitive societies, women were raised in small groups surrounded by blood relatives—fathers, brothers, uncles, grandparents, mothers, sisters, aunts.All of these relatives can deter or retaliate against potential rapists.However, in the modern environment, women often leave the protection net to study or work abroad, so they are easy targets for rapists.Of course, we are not saying that women should not leave home to study or work outside the home.Instead, we're pointing out that modern women no longer enjoy the protection of loved ones, and therefore need to look for other precautions, such as having close friends or "special friends" who provide protection and deter potential rapists.

Another potential defense, evolutionarily speaking, is rape fantasies, which involve three elements: violent, sexual, and involuntary.A surprisingly high number of women had rape fantasies - between 31% and 57%.The actual data must be more, because rape fantasies are not a glorious thing after all, and some women are embarrassed to admit to others that they have had rape fantasies, even if they are answering the questionnaire anonymously.

How might rape fantasies help prevent sexual abuse?Women's rape fantasies fall into at least two broad categories.The first category is the beautiful rape fantasy, the situation in the fantasy is completely different from the rape that people usually think about.In this type of fantasy, the hero is often handsome, powerful and charming, and madly in love with the heroine.Although the heroine expressed her refusal, she was obviously pushing halfway, and was finally "conquered" by the strong and handsome man.The heroine of the fantasy might be a little scary, but good rape fantasies basically don't contain any bloody violence.Such rape fantasies excite women, relieve stress (more on this in the next chapter), and engulf the imagination of an ideal lover.

The second category is the horrible rape fantasy, which is completely different in nature and effect.Unlike good rape fantasies, the male protagonists in these fantasies are usually strangers, older, and hideous.The fantasy situation is full of intimidation and violence.For example, the rapist grabs the victim and throws him to the ground, tearing his clothes in spite of the victim's desperate struggle.Women who have such fantasies are often more timid than real victims, and some even have the experience of being raped when they were young.Therefore, we speculate that this kind of fear may prompt women to establish a strong sense of self-protection, so as to prevent the occurrence of sexual assault.

This is all speculation and to be clear there is no evidence that these women actually wanted to be raped.Rape in reality terrifies, loathes, and traumatizes women—second only to murder.Just because someone regularly dreams or fantasizes about falling from a tall building doesn't mean they really want to jump off the building. Similarly, women who have rape fantasies don't really want to be raped.Horrific rape fantasies prompt women to take precautions to prevent accidents.Bath Laboratories provides an example:
I guess he tried to rape us.At that time, my friend and I were rushing to the cinema, it was already very late, and the law and order in that area was very chaotic.He started stalking us...and then we ran away in terror and he didn't catch up.I thought at the time that he would threaten us with some kind of weapon, and then take us to some dark corner (there are dark corners everywhere in that area), rape first and then kill us.We may be thinking wildly, feel so scared, and run away.I knew that if we ran, we could get to the brighter lights before he hit us.I don't know if he was trying to rape us, but it's better to be careful.

Finally, women's wariness of strangers may help protect against sexual assault.Throughout human history, many cases of rape have occurred during times of war, when the victors plundered and ravaged the women of the defeated.Thus, in the evolutionary process, one of the strategies that women have used to prevent rape has been to be wary of unfamiliar men, even though most of the cases are committed by acquaintances.

Women's defense against strangers may still be at work in the modern world, and without it, rapes would be more frequent.An in-depth understanding of women's psychology and role in preventing sexual assault can help reduce the incidence of rape.There is an urgent need for research on women's strategies for preventing sexual assault, and such research should identify what works and what doesn't in modern society.The research must never blame the victimized women. Instead, the scientific knowledge of self-defense should be provided to women, family members and friends.Today, women still have sexual psychology passed down through generations, some of which are outdated and cannot effectively deal with the dangers of modern society.In the next chapter we will discuss how sex meets the needs of contemporary women.

(End of this chapter)