If you can love like this

Chapter 21

Three years of waiting, the so-called revival of old love is so unbearable, even if we are careful, the fragmented past is still between us like sharp glass shards.

I fled back to Star City!When Geng Mochi accompanied his mother to the hospital to see a doctor, I took advantage of the unexpected and escaped from the small building, took a taxi and went straight to the airport, and bought a plane ticket to Xingcheng with the little money I had.As soon as I got back to the home where I had been away for several months, my highly nervous mood finally broke down. I held Milan and cried, and wiped her expensive Ports dress with snot and tears.

"Look at what you are like now, whether you are human or ghost." Milan didn't sympathize with me at all, and shook his head, "I don't even know what to say about you, Bai Kaoer!"

When I heard this, I cried even more sadly. Thinking about the chaos and impermanence of these years, I couldn't tell the past and couldn't see the future. I really hated myself for making myself so depressed and gloomy for a Geng Mochi.

"Why are you crying? Do you think you are miserable in the whole world? Yingzhi is more miserable than you!" Milan's temper became very bad for some reason.

I immediately stopped crying, "What happened to Sakura?"

"divorced!"

I gasped, "What... when did it happen?"

"Just the day before yesterday."

"I was fine before I left, how can I just leave?"

"What's good? It's not like you don't know that Zhang Qianshan has been dating that woman for a long time."

"That Sakura is now..."

"Move back to my mother's house."

"What about Dandan?"

"It was awarded to Zhang Qianshan."

"How can that be?" I exclaimed, "Dandan is Sakura's lifeblood."

"Then what can I do? Yingzhi's unit was bought out a few years ago, and he has no ability to support him. Of course, the child can only be awarded to Zhang Qianshan." Milan was indignant and sad, "The house and most of the deposits were also given to him. He, Yingzhi lost everything overnight." She raised her eyes to look at me and said mockingly, "Do you still think you are miserable now?"

I ran back before the training was over, and I explained to the station that I was not feeling well and had to come back to see a doctor.In fact, I'm not lying, I did feel unwell, nauseous all day long, and lethargic.At first I thought I was catching a cold, so I went to the hospital to make an appointment. When I saw the test report, my eyes were darkened.

I didn't know how I got home that day. I wanted to cry but couldn't cry. My stomach was empty, but I couldn't eat anything.The wind was howling outside, I stayed at home and didn't dare to go out, but at this time I received a call from my mother, saying that she would come to Xingcheng to see me.My mother lived in Star City for three days, and I knew she came to see me (I dare not go back to see her), no matter how hard she asked, I just refused to admit it, and when I finally sent her back, she was at the train station. Still asking: "Are you with that man surnamed Geng again?"

"What's the matter, I broke up with him for two years, and it's not like you don't know."

"You're fooling me again! Look at you now, if you hadn't fooled around with him, how could you have done this?" Mother knew it well.

"Mom, I... really didn't..."

"You still want to lie to me, you've been vomiting these days."

"I have a cold stomach."

Mother stopped talking and looked at me steadily.The wind on the platform was very strong, and the white-haired mother looked at me so helplessly, and the sadness of hating iron and steel made her dark yellow face look older.

Mother didn't say a word, turned around and got into the car without even turning her head.The train slowly passed in front of me, and I ran to search for my mother's sad face in the window, but I couldn't see it—she was avoiding me, and I broke her heart!In the end, I had no choice but to stand alone in the cold wind on the platform, covering my face and crying bitterly.At that moment, I never felt that I owed my parents so much, never felt it!

"Your uterine wall is already very thin, and you have had another operation. If you do it again, it may be difficult to conceive again in the future, and even if you do, you will not be able to keep it." This was the advice the doctor gave me that day.

Mom, how can I tell you this? !I can't open my mouth!That's why I dare not go home. I know that as soon as I get home, you will know everything.I don't want you to worry about me anymore, because you have been worrying about me for half your life.But now you still know, my poor mother, after giving birth to such an unfilial daughter, you must be in despair, even I am in despair, what reason is there for others to give me hope?
When I walked out of the station, there were sporadic snowflakes in the sky. This should be the first snow this winter.The iconic old clock at Xingcheng Railway Station Square rang dully against the gray sky. I looked up at the sky, my mind was blank, and the whole world was also chaotic and pale. The biting cold wind was blowing snowflakes so that I couldn’t tell the direction ahead. .In fact, when did I see the direction of my life clearly? I never looked at the direction when I walked, and I didn’t learn my lesson when I fell down.

In the evening, I unexpectedly received a call from Jinyi, "Kaoer, why did you suddenly return to Star City? What happened?"

"It's okay, it's the end of the year, and the work unit is very busy, so I'll be back first." I didn't mention Geng Mochi at all.Jinyi must know everything, or she called Geng Mochi specifically to test it out, so I was very guarded during the conversation, Jinyi would not fail to hear, told me to pay more attention to my body and hung up the phone.But after a while, Jin Yi sent another text message: "I'm sorry, it was Mochi who asked me to call to check on your situation. He said he was sorry and hoped you take care."

I guess that's it.I hesitated for a long time, and finally replied a text message: Jinyi, please tell him, I don't want to see him again in this life, and I don't want to hear any news about him.Thanks!
……

I don't dare to tell Milan about this, if I let her know, I don't know what kind of scolding I will be.I braced myself to go to work as usual, but it was obvious that I couldn't concentrate and I kept making mistakes when I was doing the show.Fortunately, Lao Cui didn't blame me for anything, he just asked me to pay more attention to my health, and if I couldn't hold on anymore, I should go home and rest for a while before returning to work.But I dare not go home. When Milan goes to work during the day, being alone in an empty house makes me feel unreasonable fear. I am very afraid that I will go crazy.At night, I couldn't sleep all night, and the insomnia was more severe this time, even more serious than in Shanghai. In addition to the strong pregnancy reaction, my complexion was sallow and I lost weight rapidly.No wonder my mother sensed that I was lying.

Milan is a smart person, and she quickly noticed what happened, so I had to prevaricate to her that I had a stomach problem recently and felt very uncomfortable.Milan was dubious, but didn't investigate further. She is very busy now, excited all day long, and has no time to take care of my impending collapse.I don't know what she's up to, but it's certainly not work.

My guess is correct, she is still conquering Qi Shuli's castle, and she has the momentum of not giving up until she achieves her goal.But it seems that there is not much progress. Although she has a clear picture of Qi Shuli's family background, this Mr. Qi still didn't give her any chance. I feel that he didn't explicitly reject her because of my face. It's awkward being caught in the middle.

When I got home from work that day, she and I were sitting on the sofa watching TV, and she suddenly asked, "You said, Qi Shuli is difficult to deal with, right?" Staring blankly at the screen, his expression seemed a little frustrated, "I greeted him, but he seemed to be indifferent."

"I told you not to take it too seriously." I poured cold water on her.

I have poured cold water on Milan more than once. Although I introduced Qi Shuli to her, I only said that I was an "introduction" at the time, and did not indicate that I wanted her to develop a relationship with him. Moreover, she should know that Qi Shuli What kind of woman can't get her strength?Will he fall in love with a little reporter who is pretty but only a little bit pretty?I've seen several of Qi Shuli's female subordinates, each one more noble and elegant than the other... To be honest, I'm really sweating for Milan.

But Milan is not reconciled. Although she doesn't say anything, I can see that she is fighting fiercely in her heart. To her, whether to give up or continue is just a matter of thought, just like heaven and hell, often only one step away.

The phone rang, and it was Qi Shuli who called, saying that he was going back to the United States recently, and wanted to meet me before leaving, "I really want to see that lake, can you go with me?" He asked very Be careful, lest I get hurt.This made it impossible for me to say no (he always does, cutting off the way for you to say no before you send an invitation), so I had to say yes.

"I'll pick you up and go with me tomorrow." He was a little unexpectedly happy.

I quickly declined, "No, I'll just go by myself."

"What did he ask you for?" Milan knew that Qi Shu's courteous invitation to me was a little displeased.

"He said he wanted to see the lake and asked me to go with him."

"If you want to see it, why don't you go see it yourself?" Milan's face was very gloomy.

"What do you mean?" I also lowered my face.

"It's nothing interesting," Milan turned his face away, and said slyly, "You just have to be careful, this guy is very powerful, don't be caught by others and you won't be able to get rid of him even if you try, he's not as easy to deal with as Geng Mochi. "

"It seems that he knows better than you whether he will deal with me well or not. I should remind you of this, right?"

"You..." Milan stared at me too angrily to speak.She jumped up from the sofa and rushed to the bedroom, slamming the door heavily. "Don't be too happy, it's not certain who will die at his hands first!" I heard her shouting inside, her voice was harsh.

I was up all night.In the middle of the night, it snowed heavily, and I looked at the snowflakes in the sky outside the window, and my heart was filled with sadness.Milan is right. It is not certain who will die first. As for who will die first, that is the second. For me, the possibility of dying in the hands of Geng Mochi is relatively high. Qi Shuli, I can't think of any reason for him to let I die.

When I woke up in the morning, Milan also woke up. When I went out, Milan said to me coldly: "I will move back in two days. I have disturbed you for a while."

I looked at her in surprise, and wanted to say something to stay, but I said "it's up to you" and went out.As soon as I went out, I regretted what I said so sharply last night, but I wanted to save face, and I thought that I would explain to her after a few days when everyone calmed down, and invite her to dinner. I have been like this every time I have conflicts over the years Evened out.How can a friendship of more than ten years be destroyed by Qi Shuli, I am very confident about it.

Because of the snow, the train was delayed, and when I arrived at the lake, Qi Shuli and his car had already become a landscape in the snow.He was leaning in front of the car, wearing a black woolen coat and sunglasses, smoking a cigarette while looking at the calm lake with a heavy heart.I noticed that there were at least ten cigarette butts under his feet, "I'm sorry, the train is late, I'm late!" I was a little embarrassed looking at the cigarette butts all over the floor.

He looked at me, his face under the sunglasses was inexplicably sad, "It's okay, I'm very grateful that you came here in the snow."

The snow was still falling, and the lakeside was peaceful, with no pedestrians, no noise, only the calm lake water tolerantly accepted the snowflakes falling from the sky, and those snowflakes fell lightly, falling into the lake and disappearing in an instant.A layer of white mist rose from the surface of the lake, permeating it, gently surrounding the trees by the lake.Those silent trees stand against the wind, and the snowy branches sway lightly in the wind, as if calling the sleeping ghosts in the lake... Maybe it's because of the cold, maybe it's something else, I can't control my trembling.

"Are you cold? Sorry, I chose such a day to ask you out."

"It's okay, it's beautiful to come to the lake on a snowy day."

"Yes, it's a beautiful lake!" He looked at the lake again, and suddenly asked, "Is it really this lake? Why is it this lake?"

I looked at his back, not knowing what he was talking about.

"Do you know why I'm here today?"

"why?"

"Today is his birthday."

I froze, Qi Shujie's birthday?I can't remember anything.Not only his birthday, I seldom even think of him. My heart and dreams are full of another man.I didn't know whether I should be grateful for my success in forgetting the past, or feel ashamed that I had forgotten my husband of four years of marriage so quickly.

"Fate, it's really fate. I didn't expect him to choose this place. He must have remembered it. He remembered that we played by the lake when we were young..." Qi Shuli didn't blame me for forgetting his brother's birthday, he said to himself , "At that time, he was really a child, chasing after my ass all day long, he was chasing, Xiao Jing was also chasing, we ran together, and when we were tired, we went to the lake to fish. In summer, we like to go to the lake , he is timid, wanting to swim to the depths but dare not, Xiaojing is more courageous than him, always asking me to drag her back from the deep water... Once, Xiaojing bet him that he was No matter what, he dared not swim to the middle of the lake. He was not willing to be ridiculed, and he really swam across, but before he reached the middle of the lake, he suddenly had cramps and sank. I rescued him and dragged him back to the shore. Xiaojing was terrified, and I was also terrified, but he looked at us and laughed. My parents beat us up when they found out about this and banned us from going to the lake. He was grateful to me more than once Said, 'Brother, I owe you my life'... I never imagined that there would be a day when he would leave his life in this lake. Brat, he should know it wasn't his life, it was mine Yes, why didn't he ask me first if he wanted to finish, he should say hello to me! Brat!"

"Who is Xiaojing?" I suddenly asked.In the four years of marriage, I have never heard Qi Shujie mention this person.

"Xiao Jing? It's our sister!" He replied with his back to me.I couldn't see his expression, I just felt that he was caught in deep memories, "It can't be regarded as my sister, because she has no blood relationship with us, she was adopted by my parents, and she was only five years old when she came to our house. years old, Ajie is nine years old..."

I immediately became excited, Qi Shujie, I'm so glad I forgot him, I was his wife for four years, but he never mentioned to me that their family adopted a girl, why did he keep it from me?Intuitively, I could imagine that this girl had brought a strange influence on his life, otherwise he wouldn't have said nothing to me, but Qi Shuli thought I knew all of this, and told me about the past with affection.I restrained myself from making a sound and pricked up my ears to listen.

Qi Shuli said that the three brothers and sisters had a very happy childhood together. Gradually, when Qi Shujie grew up, he began to have thoughts about Xiao Jing, and he always stood up to protect her at the first time... Later Qi's father fell ill. Qi Shuli was still in junior high school when he died, and the Qi family's life immediately fell into a difficult situation. Qi's mother had no job, and she was exhausted and couldn't afford to support the three children who went to school.Qi Shuli is very sensible, he dropped out of school to work to earn money without telling his family.He never dared to go home because he was afraid that his mother would be sad. It was not until a year later that he returned home with his hard-earned money. He had to pay his younger brother's tuition and buy Xiaojing her favorite electronic piano that she could never afford.He returned home happily but found that everything had changed, everything had changed, Xiao Jing was gone, she was secretly given away by Mother Qi, even Qi Shujie didn't know about it!Qi Shuli ran out of the house like crazy, and never came back.He found out that Xiao Jing was taken abroad by the family who adopted her, but he had no way of knowing which country she was in. He didn't care, he was desperately making money, and wanted to go abroad to find Xiao Jing...

(End of this chapter)