If you can love like this

Chapter 22

"I finally found a shortcut to go abroad, to be a crew member!" Qi Shuli still turned his back to me, completely immersed in the memories of the past, the more he spoke, the more difficult it was for him to control himself, his voice became a little choked up, "I will follow me without hesitation. A man I knew got on a foreign ship full of Chinese laborers. Ajie came to see me off. He hugged me and cried, and I cried too. I was still crying when the boat sailed away... I clearly remember that Ajie wore He has grown up and is no longer the kid who chased after my ass when I was a child. I asked him what if we couldn’t find Xiaojing, and he started crying again. Said that if he really couldn't find it, he would never get married for the rest of his life. He said it very seriously, and I knew he was speaking from his heart, because I knew he always wanted to marry Xiaojing..."

"Have you found Xiao Jing?" I looked at him and asked.

"If you find it, will you still be his wife?"

I froze for a moment, not understanding what he meant.

Qi Shuli turned his face away, his deep eyes rested on my face.His head and body were covered with snowflakes, standing in front of me like a statue, "You are very similar to her, the first time I saw you, I felt like her, not because I look like her, but because I feel like... You should be Ajie Xiaojing in my heart, so he should love you very much, and you should live happily..."

"Really?" I interrupted him, my senses came back, "Then what's the matter with me now?"

"He must have his reasons!"

"Why?" I sneered.

As expected of a real brother, he will never forget to protect his younger brother.

what am ia substitute?A fool who has been blinded by a devoted husband for four years?I suddenly became excited, the wound in my heart was torn open again, and I looked at Qi Shuli aggressively, "Then should I thank him for giving me such a loyal marriage and allowing me to live happily for several years?" The wife of his dreams!"

"Kaoer..."

"I should also thank you, right, thank you for telling me this, let me know that there is such soul-stirring family affection and love in this world, and let me understand that I, the biggest fool in the world, have been working as a substitute for four years and still don't know what to do." Unknowingly, let me bloodily see that the whole world is a beautiful deception, human nature is so despicable, they only care about protecting their own hearts from being trampled on, concealing the truth that they think should be concealed the most, other people's hearts, other people's self-esteem, and other people's hearts. You can trample under your feet and turn into mud! What marriage, what responsibility, what life, all worthless! Ridiculous! Ridiculous! Nonsensical..."

"You're so excited! Kao'er!" Qi Shuli's calmness also came to an end.

"I can't help being excited, listening to such a touching story and knowing such an absurd truth, I can't be indifferent, let alone laugh it off, I'm not that chic, my heart is made of flesh, not an iron wall! If you were me, you couldn't do the same, I don't believe you'd be forgiven for being blinded by a beautiful looking story for four years! Now I'm going to forgive him, pretend it never happened, and save his soul , then who will save me? He can settle it once and for all, I think too! He can go to heaven with a noble sentiment and a beautiful heart, so do I deserve to go to hell? Do I deserve it?"

"Kaoer!"

"Don't call me that! I don't want to hear anyone from your Qi family call me that!"

"Then do you want me to pick him up from the water, beat him up, whip him, and scold him?" Qi Shuli was also furious, pointing at the lake and yelling at me, "He's gone! His life is at stake." In this lake! No matter how much you curse, he can't hear it. If he can hear it, I can go down and ask him to come up now, let you vent your anger, your grievance, your despair, your hatred, your of……"

I didn't listen to the latter words, because I went directly to the lake.

"Kao'er!" Qi Shuli yelled, chasing me from behind and grabbing me, "Kao'er, don't be like this..."

"Let me go! Let me die. If they die, I will die too! I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid of anything... Why should I forgive him? Why forgive him..." I completely lost control, crying and screaming.Qi Shuli hugged me and tried to drag me away from the shore, but his feet slipped and they both fell on the snow.He hugged me tightly, struggling to squat on the ground, still refusing to let go, "I'm sorry, Kao'er, I thought you knew. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have told you this, I just confide in myself , ignoring your feelings. Kao'er, I didn't mean it, believe me, I never thought of hurting you. "

I cried in his arms...

"I'm sorry, Kao'er." Qi Shuli was covered in snow, even on his hair.He buried my head on his chest and stroked my hair, "Poor Kaur, I will not feel your pain, because this person in front of you is not much better than you, think about it, this He has struggled abroad for so many years, and when he comes back, he has changed. His dearest brother is gone, his father is gone, and his younger sister is gone. The only relative is his mother, but he Seeing that his mother can't find any other emotions except hatred, but he still has to face his mother, because that's the mother who gave birth to him and raised him. He can't face it but has to face it. You are more difficult and more painful!"

Seeing that I didn't struggle any more, he said: "We can't change anything or redeem anything. It has already happened. No matter how much we complain or break our hearts, what is lost is lost. He is my brother, your husband. , we all loved him, and he gave us love, although I don't know what happened between you, but Kaoer, is it really so difficult for you to forgive someone who is no longer there? Forgiving him is actually a gift for you Make your own way out, free yourself, let yourself go, you know, it’s not others that trap you, it’s just yourself..."

I lowered my eyes and gradually stopped crying.It wasn't until I finally became calm that Qi Shuli pulled me up, brushed the messy hair on my forehead, patted the snow on my shoulders, helped me tighten the scarf, pressed my shoulders and said: "Kaoer, look at me, Looking at the wrinkles on my face and the white hair that is emerging, what I have experienced is by no means imaginable at your age, but when you reach my age, you will look back at the road you have traveled, and you will find that Everything is nothing more than that. Whether it’s family affection or love, what belongs to you will never be lost, and what doesn’t belong to you can’t be forced. Love or hate, the one who suffers in the end is yourself, do you understand? It’s like this for a lifetime In just a few short decades, why can't we look forward and keep dwelling on past loves or hates?"

I lowered my head, even though I was still sobbing, I had to admit that every sentence of Qi Shuli's words hit the point.

Qi Shuli sighed, led me to his car, and said while walking: "Don't think about those things anymore, live well, I hope you live a happy life, instead of torturing yourself like you are now." He opened the car door for me , and sent me into the car, "I have a lot of things to deal with when I return to the United States this time, and I don't know when I will be back. You have to take care of yourself, can you do it?"

I didn't answer him, my eyes fell under a larch tree.There was a person standing under the tree in a daze.He was wearing a short brown coat and a beige scarf. He stood motionless under the tree. He must have been standing there for a long time. His head and shoulders were covered with snowflakes.

I stared at him, and he stared at me, and the distance between us was less than 20 meters.

"Is it your friend? Do you want to go over and say hello?"

"No, let's drive!"

"OK!" Qi Shuli closed the car door.

The car drove slowly by the lake and passed in front of the man.The snowflakes were still flying all over the sky, and I watched his figure slowly fall backwards outside the car window, just like rewinding a video tape.I closed my eyes tiredly, my mind was in chaos again.

Geng Mochi, I said I don't want to see you again.

It was evening when I got home, and Milan was dressing up, and it looked like he had another date.This is her style, and nothing can affect her dating mood at any time.She once said that a very important sign of a woman's worth is whether she has a date. According to her, I have no value anymore, because since Qi Shujie passed away, I have rarely been dated.Qi Shuli often asks me out, but I rarely agree.I looked at Milan, who painted his eyebrows and eyes, and felt indescribably sad. Is our friendship so fragile?Just for a Qi Shu ceremony?

"I will move out tomorrow." Milan said to me while putting on makeup.

"You can move if you want, it's up to you." I still said that, but my heart hurts.

Milan glanced at me coldly and began to put on lipstick, "Sorry to bother you for so long."

"It's okay, we are all friends." I also said coldly.

"Yes, we are friends!" Milan's tone was very aggressive, and he started to put on nail polish after putting on lipstick.The pungent smell immediately made my stomach churn, and I jumped up and rushed to the bathroom.When I came out, Milan had already put on her makeup, and she was sitting on the sofa radiantly looking at me, "You seem to be throwing up a lot lately."

"My stomach is not feeling well, maybe it's because of the cold." I felt guilty and didn't dare to look at her.

"Really? Then you should pay more attention." Milan got up and walked towards the door, as if he knew it well, before leaving the door, he said, "It's best to solve the trouble as soon as possible, and don't make small troubles into troubles." big trouble."

There is no doubt that she has already guessed, what can be hidden from her?If you guessed it, you guessed it, as long as the bastard doesn't know, I think I still have the ability to solve this matter.This is my second pregnancy. The first time was because I was angry with Mother Qi. I made the baby on my own. Qi Shujie hated me for this for a long time. Maybe he is still hating me now in the grave because I didn’t leave it for him. After all, it's strange that I don't regret it at all, really, I never regret it, and I don't know why.But this time, I was unexpectedly a little hesitant. In fact, it is easy to solve, just lie down on the operating table, but I am hesitating...

the phone is ringing.Who will call at this time?I hesitated and grabbed the phone, but before I could speak, Ah Qing croaked on the phone: "Sister, I have good news for you, Geng Mochi is coming to Hunan to perform!"

"..."

At work the next day, I called Jinyi, "Didn't you tell him what I said?" Jinyi said, "I did." "Why did they still come here after I told him I didn't want to see him?" "I asked him, and he said that the plan to perform in Star City was arranged last year. Kao'er, don't be angry, maybe it's really a work arrangement..."

The ghost letter is a work arrangement!I think he is so selfish that he even thought of tricking me into going to France, but he never asked me if I would like to.My family and my life are all in China, so why should I go to France with him?He is crazy, really crazy, I think the best way to deal with such a crazy person is to ignore him, I don't believe he can really tie me up with a rope.But people are not as good as God. Two days later, when Lao Cui called me to the office and asked me to invite Geng Mochi to come to the station for a show, I felt like I had been hit in the head, and I didn't recover for a long time.

Old Cui's words were still very tactful, and his words were meticulous, "Geng Mochi is an important figure in the music scene nowadays. This time he came to Hunan to perform, and the officials paid great attention to him, because he can be regarded as half from Hunan. His mother is from Hunan. People. So before he came, the media here started to move. They were all vying for his interviews, newspapers, magazines, TV stations, etc. We couldn’t compete with these powerful media. The problem is that our friendly stations are also competing. After much deliberation, I think it's most appropriate for you to come forward to discuss this matter, because you host a music show yourself, and Geng Mochi and Geng Mochi definitely have a common language in terms of music, and you are also the most friendly in our station Yes, if you can’t take it down, others won’t be able to take it down.”

As expected of Old Cui, he didn't mention me and Geng Mochi's acquaintance, so it's possible that he didn't know about it, and it's fine if A Qing's big mouth wasn't broadcast directly on the show.It is said that Jiang is old and hot. In front of the scheming old Cui, can I, a little sparrow with no hair on the edge of Dongting Lake, beat him?
"I know that this matter is difficult, because I heard that Geng Mochi doesn't like to deal with the media. He has always kept a low profile and rarely makes public appearances except for performances. But we can't stop dealing with people because they are not easy to deal with. Well, work can always be done by human beings, and the Eight Immortals cross the sea to show their magical powers, Kaoer, I believe you have this ability."

I have to admit that Lao Cui is very good at doing ideological work. He usually first explains the importance of things, then presents difficulties, and finally gives encouragement, so that you can't find any reason to shirk.

I drooped my head and could only admit that I was unlucky.

After get off work, I was walking down the bustling street alone, wondering if I should go to the blind man under the overpass in Wuyi Square for a fortune-telling. What kind of god did I go to for my back recently...

Just thinking wildly, Yingzhi called and asked me to meet at Apollo, saying that he had something to ask me.When we met, she straight to the point asked me what was going on with Milan.I was in a state of confusion, and I just said that there was nothing wrong, she just wanted to move back by herself. "I don't think it's that simple," Yingzhi said, "I understand both of you, if you are dead-tempered, you must be at odds again."

I sighed and didn't want to say anything more.

"It's been so many years, I know the basics, and I'm not too young, don't be like a child." Yingzhi carried a large bag of snacks and toys, and walked while holding my arm, "There must be something. What's the matter, can't you tell me the truth?"

"How do you know?" I asked back.

"Isn't it because Milan called me last night and said she was going to move back and asked me to be her companion... She also said a lot of inexplicable things, I couldn't understand, I asked her, but she refused to say ..."

"what did she say?"

"Say... oops, I can't remember, it's just a bunch of words anyway," Yingzhi obviously didn't want to tell me those words, and shook her head, "Milan looks very happy, but in fact, she may not be, she is a deep-rooted person, which makes people feel happy. Unpredictable."

I didn't say a word, thinking that if she was so easy to figure out, it wouldn't be Milan. "Why do you buy so many things?" I looked at Sakura's bag full of things and asked, trying to change the topic.

"Why don't you go to see Dandan." Sakura said in a low voice.

"How is Dandan now?"

"Don't mention it, I've gone to see it four or five times, but I can't see anyone every time, and the people in their family won't let me see." Yingzhi said, her eyes turned red, "In order not to let me see the child, They didn't even let him go to kindergarten, they shut him up at home every day, and heard from the neighbors that they planned to take Dandan to the countryside..."

"Why? Zhang Qianshan is sorry for you, but he won't let you watch the child. How can there be such a thing in the world?" As soon as I heard it, I became angry, and Zhang Qianshan was deceiving too much.

"Hey, you don't understand, you don't understand many things." Yingzhi waved his hands repeatedly when he talked about the key points, not wanting to continue, "It's all the sins of the previous life, and I deserve to be punished."

"But..." I was about to ask for clarification, when the phone rang, it was Qi Shuli calling, he said that he was going back to America tomorrow, and wanted to invite me to dinner.I wanted to refuse at first, but he spoke very sincerely and tactfully, and blocked my way to decline before sending out the invitation, and he blocked it quietly.I really think this man is very powerful. For such a powerful man, ten Milans might not be his opponent.At this time, my heart suddenly moved, and I quickly called Milan, saying that President Qi was going back to the United States, and invited the two of us to dinner, and asked her if she would go...

I was really surprised, Qi Shuli actually chose the "encounter" restaurant, this is the first time Geng Mochi and I dined, Qi Shuli took a fancy to this place, I don't know if it was God's will, but when I met the same diner at the restaurant When Geng Mochi and his assistant Xiao Lin were together, it was really God's will.

(End of this chapter)