If you can love like this

Chapter 60

The real situation is that the director of the Supplement Department of the Evening News over there is a high school classmate of mine. She played with her since she was a child. After she knew that I left the radio station, she tried her best to persuade me to work in the newspaper office. Several leaders of the newspaper office also followed me. He is very familiar and welcomes me to join.I didn't give an affirmative answer there, I just said to go back and have a look first, and discuss it with my family, and my physical condition is not very good, whether I can be competent is still a problem.

I was coughing all the time while I was talking to Qi Shuli, and Qi Shuli was worried when he saw that I was almost out of breath, "I'll take you back." I was still coughing while waving my hands, Qi Shuli sighed, thinking After thinking about it, he said, "There is something I have to tell you."

"what's up?"

"Someone found a dried body in Lop Nur."

There was a buzzing in my head, and I almost fell to the ground.Qi Shuli looked at me and said unhurriedly: "Don't be nervous, after the technical department's appraisal, the corpse...is not Gao Peng's."

"you sure?"

"Yes, you have to believe in science, and someone saw Gao Peng alive."

"Where?"

"Tibet."

Coming out of Qi Shuli's house, the night was already dark, I stood by the lake for a while and involuntarily walked towards the side of the water.Yalan Residence has been sold, and I have to move out after completing the transfer procedures and go back to Xiangbei to be with my parents.On the water side, I didn't accept the property rights, because I didn't think I had the courage to live here. This is the house he lived in, and there is too much of his breath in it, I'm afraid I can't stand it.In fact, not long after Geng Mochi went to Japan, his lawyer Huang Zhong came to Xingcheng to find me and brought out a bunch of documents for me to sign. I knew that those documents were related to property, but I didn't sign them because they were not what I wanted.

I still keep a light for him in the bedroom every night, knowing that he will never come back, but I still stubbornly believe that he must be able to see this light, when the heart is tortured by endless pain and sleepless , and only through this symbolic comfort can I continue my daily life.It’s just that since he left, I have never entered the house on the water side. Now that I am leaving, I should go in and have a look. After this farewell, I don’t know if I have the courage to come to this city again...

Without him, even the air is sad; without him, the house is as quiet as a tomb.I stood outside the door, looking at the closed door with tears in my eyes, unable to move for a long time.

There are no more warm lights.

There is no more moving piano sound.

There is no more affectionate look from across the bank.

Trembling, I opened the door with the key he left for me before he left, and a damp and musty smell like a tomb rushed towards me. I fumbled to turn on the light, and it was as bright as day in an instant, and the furniture in the room was covered. The white cloth and the carpet have been covered with a thick layer of dust, the wall clocks and famous paintings on the wall are not the same as before, and the sofa and the piano in the corner are also covered by the piano cover, and the top is also covered with a thick cover. Dust covered.I walked to the piano, lifted the cover, and pressed it casually, and a muffled bang resounded through the room, like a heavy hammer, which shattered my internal organs and made tears flow like rain.

This piano, like his love, originally had everything from high notes to low notes, mellow and lingering, thrilling.But now, everything is gone, this piano has no owner, and it can no longer play peerless music, just like our poor love, without the soil of survival, we can only look at each other across the sea.From the very beginning, our love was not tolerated by the world. We all wanted to be good for each other, thinking that dedicating to each other without reservation would allow love to continue, but in the end, fate was wrong, life was full of traps, and we finally escaped If you don't want to separate from Lao Yan, just like Chopin's song, parting is fate, and all efforts seem to be just to get into the trap carefully arranged by fate.I can't escape this trap, and neither can he.After a long circle, we still don't belong to each other, it's not me who stays by his side, and it won't be him who stays by my side...

"Kao'er?" The door of the living room was pushed open suddenly, and Qi Shuli followed at some point.

I didn't look back, "What are you doing here?"

"I don't trust you." It turned out that he had been following me.

"Go out, he won't be happy if he finds out."

"Kao'er!" Qi Shuli came over and stood behind me, his long figure imprinted on the piano, "Why are you doing this? You can live a better life, but you want to sleep yourself like this. I don't expect you to accept me, I only hope you can live a better life and be healthier, look how thin you are now."

"Do you tube!"

"I don't care who cares about you, and you don't listen to what your parents say." He turned to me, his eyes were reddened, and his voice became choked up, "Kao'er, I brought you to the United States just to It may be difficult for you to forget everything in the past and start over again, but it is better than you half-deadly wasting your youth like this? Besides, he is already married and has his own life, so you should give up! Let me go, let's end everything here, the warm sunshine in California will make you healthy, I will not force you to be my woman, I just hope you can live like a normal person and treat yourself well. Please Believe me, as long as I am by your side, you will definitely not be in the fate you are now..."

"I believe……"

I nodded, and my heart suddenly became confused and unassertive.Of course I believe in this man, he is omnipotent, and it is entirely possible to change my fate. I have never doubted that he can give me the possibility of a happy life, but when I was moved by the wonderful life described by the man in front of me, another A man's face immediately appeared in his mind, he looked sick, but still so proud and independent, his indifferent expression could not conceal the fire-like enthusiasm in his heart.He may not give me a stable life, and his sharp personality will always hurt me, but there is no way, I just love him, although I know very well that we have lost the possibility of reunion, but my heart is still dying. Hope, like a survivor who fell into a deep well, is looking forward to a ray of light quietly entering the dark world.

"It's fine to go to the United States with you, but I must first fulfill one of my wishes..." I summoned up the courage to say.

"What wish, you say."

"I'm going to Japan."

After returning to northern Hunan, I couldn't go to the newspaper office to work at all, and my condition deteriorated rapidly, and I was in and out of the hospital several times.Coughing and fever day and night made my already weak body even more vulnerable. Respiratory failure occurred several times, and I caught a cold after a little cold, which aggravated my condition.My family was very anxious and wanted to send me to Xingcheng for medical treatment, but I refused. I really don't want to go back to that city.

During this period, Qi Shuli quickly ended his domestic business and was about to leave for the United States.Before leaving, he came to Xiangbei to visit his mother, and he also came to say goodbye to my parents.Regarding my going to Japan, his attitude was very clear, "I will not take you to Japan, otherwise people will not say you are crazy, they will say I am crazy!"

He rejected it completely, without any room for maneuver.This is in line with his usual style, he never leaves room for things, he is clean and neat, and there is no future trouble.So I didn't beg him too much, I know what he is like.It’s just that I’m not reconciled, I almost can’t remember the appearance of Geng Mochi, the more I miss a person deeply, the appearance of that person becomes more and more blurred, no matter how my memory catches up, I still can’t keep up with the speed at which he is gradually moving away from my dream , I was desperate and extremely panicked, I was afraid that I would be like Anne, who would completely lose my memory when chasing it, and delete this memory like deleting a file.this is too scary!

That night, my family members were all asleep, and I wandered in the yard downstairs alone, panicking all day long.I missed him again, and when I uttered his name, I became more confused and felt like I was out of my body again. I looked around and stood at the door of the house, but I couldn't figure out where I was.In a trance, I saw myself running wildly in the empty and desolate heart, desperately driving away the memory, calling his name... But where is he? , still separated by the distance of time and space, the face and the heart became more and more blurred, and I couldn't find the memory of losing my way in my dream...

When I woke up the next day, I developed a high fever and started coughing again. This time it was violent, and I suddenly passed out while eating breakfast. My parents rushed me to the hospital.

It was late at night when I woke up, although I had a high fever, but my consciousness was clear, I knew what I was going to do, I was going to see someone, I had to see him, even if I was going to die soon, I still wanted to see him After a glance, it is buried in the ground.I know that I will eventually drift away from this world and fly to another world to seek relief. I am afraid that I will get lost in that world, and when he goes there one day, I will not be able to remember his appearance!
I ran away, ran out of the hospital by myself, took a taxi to the hotel where Qi Shuli was staying, Qi Shuli was putting on his nightgown when he opened the door, as if he had just finished taking a shower, and before he could speak, I leaned on the wall and coughed into a ball.

When he ran over to hug me, I grabbed him and half my body slumped on him, like grabbing a life-saving straw, "Take me to Japan, take...I'll go to Japan, please, I beg you……"

As if by magic, Qi Shuli was frozen instantly.

"Even if you die in front of me, I won't take you there!" He said coldly after a long time.

"No, no, listen to me." I held his arm tightly, suddenly stopped coughing, and expressed very clearly, "You take me to Japan, I just go to meet him, and I will come back after one look at him, and then I will Go to the United States with you, never come back for the rest of my life, and live with you for the rest of my life, I will give up completely, I swear I will never miss him again, and bury him completely in my heart..."

"Why do you have to see him? Why?"

He pushed me away, waved his hands and roared like thunder, "Are you obsessed with ghosts or something? What problem can you solve after seeing him? Can you cure your illness? Can you save your heart? If you There are many ways to want to die. Do I have to send you to die? Tell you, I can’t do it! Even if you really want to leave this world, I can’t change God’s arrangement. Deeply and forever buried in my heart, listen clearly, it is my heart! It is not for you to die in front of him..."

Suddenly, he couldn't continue because I couldn't breathe again, "What's the matter with you?" He supported me and asked.I didn't answer, I struggled to stand up, grabbed him again, grabbed the collar of his nightgown and refused to let go, I gasped and said: "I can tell you now, because I have forgotten what he looks like, The more I think about him, the more I can't remember what he looked like. He is only a vague outline in my memory. I'm so scared... Frank, no matter how much you hate him, after all, I loved him in this world, and I can't get him. I don’t even think about his love if I can’t stay with him. I have succumbed to fate. Please let me give up on being alive. Let me see his appearance for the last time. No matter what my future fate is, I must Seeing him, seeing him, I will live peacefully from now on, or die peacefully..."

My heart hurts so much. When I said these words, my chest hurt so much that I couldn't tell if it was physical pain or real heartache. I could only shrink my body, trying to suppress the heat in my chest, but I couldn't suppress it. Stop, with a violent cough, another mouthful of blood spewed out, and a tragic bright red bloomed on Qi Shuli's white nightgown...

"Kaoer!"

This is definitely an amazing trip.When the plane landed at the airport in Nagoya, the largest city in central Japan, I still couldn't believe that I had actually arrived in Japan.I was wearing a long overcoat, wrapped in a thick shawl, snuggling under Qi Shuli's arms, feeling agitated and then calmed down, calmed down and agitated again, completely dizzy, completely ignoring the strange eyes of the people around me , They are all in spring clothes, but I dress like I just came back from Antarctica.No way, ever since I got sick, I have been particularly afraid of the cold.

Although I repeatedly asked Qi Shuli to bring less people, he was still bodyguards, attendants, translators, doctors and babysitters. A group of six or seven people walked in the airport, and the scene was quite spectacular.

After leaving the airport, three limousines drove up to us.With my face up, I greedily breathed the foreign air, because it was also the air he breathed.This is what it feels like to be in love, even without seeing each other, it feels so sweet to breathe the air he breathes.It's just that the sweetness is broken like the moon in the water, does he know that after seeing him, I will go to another country?There I can no longer breathe the air made up of his love, this farewell, the world will be separated, this life is doomed to be gloomy, reunion is like parting, no one can change the mockery and blow from fate.

"Where are we going, a hotel?" I asked Qi Shuli when I got in the car.

"Anyway, I won't be sleeping on the street, so don't worry." Qi Shuli said with his arms around me, and then added, "We won't go to a hotel, your body is not suitable for a hotel, I have a house in the center of Nagoya, and I'm an old friend Yes, he has gone to Canada, and the house is temporarily loaned to me."

The car finally stopped by a secluded street, surrounded by green trees, and small Japanese-style western-style buildings stood gracefully beside the street, with their own houses. It could be seen that this place, like Spring on the other side, was a place of status. place to live.We entered a house at the corner of the street. As soon as we entered the room, Qi Shuli quickly helped me to lie down on the tatami mat, and ordered the accompanying doctor to check me up, measure blood pressure, temperature, and give me an injection. After a long time, the doctor just Let's go, the nanny came in again and fed me porridge. Because of the inflammation of the respiratory tract, I can only eat liquid food. "I'll come." Qi Shuli ordered the nanny to step back.

(End of this chapter)