If you can love like this

Chapter 87

"This is my life. I don't blame anyone. Don't blame yourself all the time." Annie faced the mirror with a trance smile on her face, "Actually, my greatest misfortune is not blindness, but that I have escaped a lot. The chance to make myself happy, because of the misfortune in my childhood, I believed that I would no longer have happiness, so I abused myself, spoiled myself, destroyed myself, and finally became more unfortunate. It was not until now that my eyes could not see anything that I woke up. In fact, happiness is always by my side, but I have been turning a blind eye.”

"Annie..."

"Kao'er, do you know? I'm actually grateful to you, because you let my brother find his true love. Even if he leaves, he won't regret it, so... I will protect his love no matter what. , I will not let anyone hurt you. For so many years, only others have paid for me, and now I have to learn to give, which can be said to make up, or it can be said to be... self-redemption..."

"Annie, what's the matter with you?" I grabbed her arm and couldn't listen anymore. Such a passage sounded like parting to me, and it was heartbreaking.

"Give me more fans, don't let my brothers see me cry." Annie said with a smile.

Back in the private room, when he opened the door, he happened to see Geng Mochi pouring wine for Qi Shuli, the two were talking in a low voice, their attitudes were so peaceful that it was hard to believe that they were a lion and a tiger.This world is so strange, distance and closeness, understanding and rejection, pain and joy are often only separated by a layer of paper, as long as the layer of paper is torn off, any barrier may be eliminated.Who would believe that a lion and a tiger can be friends too?

Two days later, it was the third anniversary of the opening of Baishulin Hospital invested by Qi Shuli. He was very busy and lost weight very quickly. I reminded him to pay attention to his body, but he didn't have time to take care of himself. One day he suddenly called and said, "Let Steven I came to the hospital for a visit in two days. I just invited a very famous heart doctor from the United States. I heard that he had done a heart transplant. I told him about Steven’s condition. , tell him about this, hurry up, Mr. Smith will leave in two days."

Geng Mochi was reluctant to go at first, he had long since given up hope for his illness, but he couldn't withstand my repeated lobbying, and finally he was willing to see Dr. Smith. He was an American with white hair and beard, very kind, and he carefully Geng Mochi carefully checked all aspects, and looked at his previous medical records. Finally, he came to the conclusion that Geng Mochi was born with a ventricular septal defect. Conventional treatment was useless for him. The only way he could survive was the heart failure. Transplantation, but the technical requirements for this operation are very high, and there is still a gap between China's current overall technology and foreign countries.

Therefore, Smith suggested that it is best to go abroad for surgery, because postoperative rejection directly affects the survival rate of patients. At present, the longest survival of people who have undergone such surgery in the world has exceeded 20 years. Taking Geng Mochi’s situation as an example Look, the sooner the operation is performed, the better it is to fight against rejection after the operation. Otherwise, even if the transplant operation is done, whether it can survive is still a problem, so the most important thing now is to find a suitable heart with the same type, and the more The sooner the better, that's not something that can be done with money alone.

Qi Shuli immediately stated his position firmly, "No matter how difficult it is to find, and how much it costs, we must find it! If there is a gap in domestic technology, we will go abroad to do it. Money is never a problem, even if it is a one-in-a-million hope. None of us will give up!"

Geng Mochi and I were both present at the time, and my feeling cannot be described as moving. I don’t know how Geng Mochi felt. He just didn’t speak for a long time, and kept staring at Qi Shuli in a daze. When he came out of the hospital, he finally couldn’t help but say: " Thank you, but I don't know why you... I want to hear your truth."

Qi Shuli looked at his former love rival meaningfully, "The truth? Do you think I'm not sincere enough now? Everyone has selfishness. I might as well tell you now that I let you survive because of myself, because..." He said He turned his eyes to me, flickering and changing, "Because she loves you, if you die, she won't be able to live, if she can't live, is there any meaning for me to live?"

"..."

Not long after, Qi Shuli himself also fell ill.

In fact, I have already noticed that he is ill. Not only is he very thin, but his complexion is horribly yellow. He looks at least ten years older than his actual age. Although Geng Mochi is also seriously ill, his mental state has always been very good However, Qi Shuli didn’t even have any energy. It seemed that walking was very difficult. He used to go to the gym or play golf every week. are rarely performed.

He seemed to have suffered a major blow and devastation, and his whole body collapsed.I always peeped at him secretly when he wasn't looking, imagining what happened to make him so weak and haggard, what could be the matter?And he seems to be avoiding me intentionally. Although he lives in the same community and faces each other across the lake, he seldom sees each other.I feel that there is an unknown shadow between me and him. This time I can guarantee that it is not my reason.

Finally, one day after lunch, I ran into him on the boulevard, and I couldn't help but ask: "Frank, what's wrong with you recently, you look very bad, and you've lost a lot of weight, are you feeling unwell?"

He was about to go out at that time, when he heard me ask him, he glanced back at me and said with a smile, "No big problem, just went to the hospital for an examination a while ago and found out that he has gallstones, he may need to be operated on. It's okay, just It's just a minor operation," he said reassuringly, "the operation will be performed after a while."

"Is it really okay?"

"no problem."

"That's fine, I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Thank you!" He stood in the wind and looked at me, his eyes were so soft that people couldn't believe that he was the all-powerful Qi Shuli in the past. The person in front of him was pale, hunched over, and so old. Is he really okay? ?

"Kao'er, it's great to meet you." He suddenly said something inexplicably, before I could react, he turned and left, and his lonely figure disappeared into the depths of the forest.

A week later, Mother Qi died of illness in northern Hunan.

Qi Shuli took Annie back to attend the funeral.I am also accompanying.Because my younger sister Bai Wei made a Spanish boyfriend, and this time I brought her back for engagement, I really want to see my foreign brother-in-law.All the way to my hometown in Xiangbei went smoothly.Out of etiquette, I still went to the mourning hall to pay homage to Qi Mu, who has passed away. After all, the dead are the most important. Besides, it has been so long, why bother to make things difficult for myself.But whether Qi Shuli would think so, I don't know, he remained expressionless during the entire worship process, making it impossible to see his inner thoughts.

According to the custom, he should wear hemp and filial piety, because he is the only son of Mother Qi.

But he didn't.

At this time, I faintly felt that he still hadn't forgiven his mother.He didn't have lunch with the relatives and friends of the Qi family, but he said hello and took Annie to my house to eat.Before we even entered the house, we heard constant laughter from the house. As soon as I entered, the whole family surrounded me. My younger sister, Bai Wei, even jumped while hugging me, while her Spanish fiancé greeted me shyly.My mother was busy in and out of the kitchen, setting out a table of delicacies, all of which were my favorites.My father asked about my situation in Xingcheng, and told Qi Shuli to go home more often when he had time.He deliberately emphasized the word "going home", obviously in their consciousness, Qi Shuli is already a part of our family.

It was already three o'clock in the afternoon after dinner, Qi Shuli took Annie for a walk by the South Lake, and I followed behind them.It may be because of the winter, there are few pedestrians by the lake, and it feels deserted.The willow trees on the shore of the lake have only bare branches, shivering in the cold wind.

I looked at the calm lake, my heart ached beyond measure, Qi Shujie, my husband, did you see that?Xiao Jing, whom you have been thinking about until death, is here, and your elder brother, if you think that there is still such a day, will you be willing to die at the bottom of the lake?
Annie couldn't see it, but she was very excited and kept touching it with her hands. When she touched a big banyan tree by the lake, she was even more excited and burst into tears. Obviously she remembered that tree.She stroked the old trunk over and over again, as if stroking her own heart, "This is the tree, Ajie and I carved words on it," she put her face close to the trunk, as if looking for traces of the passage of time, " Why can’t I find it? It’s clearly engraved, brother, you used to watch me engrave it, right?”

"It's been so many years, what can't disappear?" Qi Shuli said thoughtfully.

Annie turned her head, eyes full of doubts, "Does it include love and hate?"

"Yes."

"But why can't you let go of your hatred for your mother?" Anne hit the nail on the head.

Qi Shuli replied: "That is a memory that cannot be forgotten."

"That's your fault, Frank," I walked over and looked at him and said, "The past is over, even Xiaojing has let go, why should you worry about it? Let go of many things, Maybe you won't feel so tired, this is what you told me in the past, why can't you turn the corner when it's your turn?"

Qi Shuli turned his face away, "You don't understand, you don't understand at all, this incident has such a terrible impact on me, Xiaojing doesn't understand, neither of you understand!" He said to himself, turned around and left.

I watched him go away fixedly, the lonely back was set against the bloody setting sun flickering in the depths of the forest, it felt so sad, reminiscent of the end of the movie, the protagonist always disappeared from the camera decisively in the end Here, my heart twitched, and an ominous premonition hit my heart, is he going to disappear too?
Qi Shuli stayed at a hotel by the lake.I also stayed in the hotel because I had to take care of Annie.After dinner, Annie fell asleep, and I went to Qi Shuli's room to discuss the next day's itinerary.

"Let's go and see my father's grave first. After so many years, he must miss Xiaojing very much." Qi Shuli said.I agreed with him, "All right, go to your father's tomorrow first, and then make other arrangements."

He leaned tiredly on the head of the bed, looked at me with relief, and said, "You have grown up and know how to accept other people's opinions."

"I'm in my thirties, and I didn't grow up?" I laughed.

The next day we returned to the city from Father Qi’s cemetery, it was already late, we went back to the room to pack our luggage after dinner at the hotel, and prepared to rush back to Star City the next day, Qi Shuli’s gallstones seemed to be in pain, so we had to go back immediately Operation.In fact, along the way, I found that Qi Shuli was taking medicine non-stop, and at first he avoided me, but it didn't matter if I bumped into him later.

"Is it gallstones? Is the diagnosis accurate?" I asked him.

He smiled, "If even this result is wrongly diagnosed, they will all be laid off." I thought so too, it is a hospital invested by Qi Shuli, who would dare to misdiagnose the boss's illness?
Before going to bed, I called home, and my mother blamed me for not staying for a few more days before leaving, saying that it was rare for Bai Wei to come back. "Shu Li is not feeling well, I have to go back for a physical examination." I prevaricated, not daring to say that it was an operation.

The mother immediately asked: "What's wrong? Is it okay? I came back this time and felt that his complexion was very bad, and he was too thin. Pingping, I didn't blame you, you also cared about him. , don’t just think about yourself, you should know how he treats you after so many years, where can you find such a good man? "

Mother's words were very sharp, and I didn't dare to say anything.

She kept scolding me on the phone: "You are also in your 30s. If you meet a good one, you can settle down and live a life. Don't mess around all day long. You can't afford it at your age. People who are the same age as you Those classmates, the children are all in elementary school, but you don't even have a formal home, how can you rest assured that we are parents?"

"Okay, Mom, I see, I just listen to you."

I quickly interrupted my mother and hung up the phone, fearing that she would never finish talking.Qi Shuli came out of the bathroom and asked while wearing the belt of his pajamas: "What did your mother tell you? Look at you, so impatient."

"She said that my classmate's children are all in elementary school, and I'm still playing. She is afraid that I will grow old and no one will want me."

Qi Shuli took my hand, "How could no one want it? Don't I just want you? It's just that you haven't given me a chance. As for the child..."

He stopped talking, and his eyes suddenly dimmed.

I know, he thought of the kid in Seattle who got kicked out by Milan.

After a long time, he finally calmed down, "Think about how many years it has been? From knowing you to now, my love for you has never stopped. In fact, I have been struggling. After struggling for a long time, I still can't let go of you and love others. Just like Annie, she is not short of money, and I can’t give her anything materially. Taking revenge on you by marrying her is only one of the reasons, and the other reason is that I have nothing to give her so I have to give her a wedding. The wedding can make me live like a normal person. But you said that if I marry her, I will die. I am frightened, because I have not married her, I will already die. Losing you and being resented by you, I can only live rather than die..."

Such a long paragraph, there is no way to make people unmoved.

But there is nothing I can do, I can only say to him: "I'm sorry, I can't give you what you want."

He said: "What I want is not what you imagined. I just want you to be happy and live happily, at least happier than me. Then, what do I want? Loving someone really means wanting her to be happy, even if it is happiness It is given by others. But sometimes I want to make myself happy, but this happiness can only be given by you, even if it is pity, will you give it?"

"Frank..."

(End of this chapter)