I loved you so deeply

Chapter 35 A Dilemma (2)
When Beijing heard the news, they specially dispatched a helicopter to send people over to visit the sick. Even Pang Lei rushed back from Qiaoshan Island, which is tens of kilometers away from City B. Due to the complicated interpersonal relationships at home, she couldn't leave her even half a step away.

The rescue lasted more than ten hours. The dean came out of the operating room wearing a mask, and his tone was condensed: "Because of the bleeding, the blood clot suppressed the nerves in some functional areas of the old man. Although the operation was successful, it is really hard to say whether the old chief can survive. , can only be sent to the intensive care unit for monitoring.”

Grandpa Pang was sent to the ICU in a mighty manner. After Pang Lei and his wife talked with the leaders who came to express their condolences, they took the time to pat Pang Zheng on the shoulder.

Pang Lei's face was serious like never before: "Come out with me."

When Mrs. Pang was young, she was the administrative director of the Hai General Hospital in City B. This hospital was full of her subordinates. She knew every trouble, not to mention the car accident at the gate of the hospital that could be reported on the news.

Rumors spread outside, saying that the eldest son of the next family raised a young child outside, and let the wife of the main room meet him. This is because he wants to kill someone by driving.

Pang Lei and Pang Zheng entered the cubicle outside the custody room one after the other, closed the blinds, and said calmly, "I ask you, where is Gu Jin?"

When such a big event happened, the daughter-in-law was not there to accompany her, which further confirmed those rumors.

Only then did Pang Zheng think of Gu Jin belatedly.

Seeing that he didn't speak, Pang Lei became even more angry in his heart, raised his hand and gave Pang Zheng several times.That hand was someone who had touched a weapon and carried a gun when he was young, and a person as tough as Pang Zheng couldn't help coughing twice.

There was blood at the corner of his mouth, and his face was swollen, but he still stood upright without dodging.

Pang Lei turned pale with anger, pointing at him and cursing: "You are really my good son, Pang Lei! Your grandfather is lying in there with unknown life and death, your daughter-in-law got into a car accident and gossip outside, the face of the Pang family is embarrassing. You've been thrown away! These years I don't care about you, I don't ask you, the only thing I arranged for you is to let you marry Gu Jin, but you can see for yourself what you have done!"

Even Mrs. Pang, who had always been protecting her son, turned cold and wiped the blood from the corner of Pang Zheng's mouth with a handkerchief. She was helpless and distressed: "Son, do we have to get involved with that Bai Ziqing? What's so good about her? Mom doesn't understand." You young people have those feelings, but the truth left by the older generation is this. Whoever you marry has to be good to whomever you live in. If you are half-hearted, you have no conscience. In the future, someone will poke your back..."

When she came to the hospital with Bai Ziqing, her father was critically ill. Whether it was because of the friendship she had known for many years or because of ordinary friends, since they heard the news, everyone would do that. Everyone believed that he was outside with his first girlfriend. No one has ever cared about the ins and outs of it.

Pang Zheng didn't know who to explain to, and he didn't want to.

He opened his mouth with difficulty, feeling the pain in his heart: "Mom, it's really not what you think..."

"What are we thinking?" Mrs. Pang stared, showing a ruthless posture in educating children that she hadn't seen in many years, "I knew that woman surnamed Bai was a bastard, as long as you get involved with her, nothing good will happen." Son! It is a fact that Jinjin had a car accident, and it is also a fact that your grandpa is doing what he is doing now. Pang Zheng, I beg you, please settle down and live a good life, okay? Our family is in trouble now. Your grandpa is like this, so is your father. When you are old, you are the backbone of the family, but please don't let anything happen again."

Pang Lei unbuttoned his military uniform, pulled Mrs. Pang away, and stood in front of Pang Zheng.The father and son are similar in height. Although Pang Lei is old, his majesty is not lost at all: "If you do this now, I will have no face to see Gu Jin's dead father. Even if I lie on the ground in the future, I will not have the confidence to look for those of me. The comrade-in-arms who died went to reminisce about the past, I have owed my life to others for so many years, and now my son, Pang Lei, is not benevolent, and he did not take good care of his daughter, this is the sin of our old Pang family."

It has always been like this, Pang Zheng closed his eyes and sneered: "Put away your so-called comrade-in-arms friendship."

Pang Lei was startled, and his body shook.

Pang Zheng looked confused, and wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth: "Gu Jin and her mother have been walking on the island for so many years, do you want to go and find them? She and her mother receive 1000 yuan a month in city A to support them. Where were you when there were four or five people? Where were you when her mother borrowed money from relatives to buy a house in City B? You were your combat staff officer in Zhanjiang, and your fleet captain in Hainan. Your deputy commander, you lived a smooth life. At that time, did you think of the comrades who lost their lives trying to save you? If my mother could not meet them, I am afraid I will never see you again in this life Bar?"

Pang Lei was short of breath with anger, and pointed viciously at Pang Zheng: "Say it again!! Don't shirk responsibility for me! Your own marriage management is not good, and you think about those fancy things every day, but you blame me? "

The war between father and son is on the verge of breaking out, and the situation is becoming more and more uncontrollable. The side government is like a naughty child who deliberately provoked his father when he was a child, and said slowly and carefully: "Who is shirking responsibility? You owe it to yourself. Take your son back, why don't you take off your clothes and show your ambition to your comrades?"

Pang Lei raised his hand and slapped Pang Zheng fiercely. The righteousness raised in the army made him awe-inspiring, and he wished he could slap Pang Zheng, an unfilial son, to death.

"Old Pang!" Pang's mother blocked her husband's hand, grabbed her son's collar tightly, and cried, "Can you stop talking! When is this! Be sensible, when will you Only then can we grow up..."

That slap made Pang Lei's palms numb, and the gloomy unhappiness in Pang Zheng's heart finally dissipated a little.He leaned against the wall, bent over, put his hands on his knees, and panted heavily.

From Gu Jin's car accident at the beginning, to the death of a cancer patient, and then to his own grandfather being pushed into the operating room and told that his life and death were unknown, Pang Zheng suppressed too many emotions in his heart. As a man, such emotions cannot be vented in There are mouths, bears, panics, and fears. He can only use this seemingly absurd way to wake himself up.

Or a punishment.

Grandpa Pang has appeared in two dangerous situations since the operation. When everything stabilized, it was already noon of the next day.The visiting outsiders had almost left, and Pang Lei had to leave because of work. The more he had to set an example at this time.

Pang Zheng covered his mother with a blanket, and then left the ward with his neck tired.

He drove all the way to the hospital, and when he saw Gu Jin lying on the hospital bed intact, with only the words "suspected concussion" on the medical record card, his heart was only half relieved.

Hearing her irregular breathing while pretending to sleep, he said, "Gu Jin, let's talk."

Gu Jin opened her eyes, and lay lazily on the bed, without the slightest embarrassment of pretending to be asleep and being caught: "Okay, what do you want to talk about."

"Talk about us." Pang Zheng still turned his back to her, "Talk about us later."

Gu Jin was very decisive: "Can we still have a future?" She turned her head away from looking at his back, as if talking to herself, "You think that after something like this happens, I can still fool myself into chatting with you Later?"

She taunted him: "You are so fantastic."

Pang Zheng turned around, faintly burning with anger: "Why not? I admit that I was wrong for hiding Bai Ziqing's matter from you before. I also said that if you ask me about some things, I will tell you. It is your own indiscriminate mind." Going to bump into someone, Gu Jin, do you know the consequences if you hit someone?"

He gritted his teeth as he asked, as long as he thinks about the moment of the crash until now, he will still feel lingering fear in his heart.

Gu Jin felt the desire for revenge after being seriously injured. She sat up on the bed, her face was pale but she was still eloquent: "I know. I made Bai Ziqing unable to dance in the future, and I made her father unable to dance before he died." Let their father and daughter meet for the last time, she is lying there miserably, all of you are sympathetic to her, but I still feel that it is not enough, I wish that she would be worse than now, and wish that she would have a bad end in her life. Now that she's like this, I feel like I'm at a disadvantage."

Pang Zheng looked at Gu Jin with an incredulous look in an instant.

Gu Jin pulled out a shallow smile, as if repeating the most common thing: "So Pang Zheng, I'm so bad and vicious, so it means we can't stay together anymore?"

Pang Zheng didn't open his eyes to look at Gu Jin, and took a deep breath: "I don't want to hear your angry words."

"This is not an angry word." Gu Jin looked at him calmly, "You know what I said was not an angry word, Pang Zheng, I really don't want to be with you anymore."

She sat on the bed and murmured: "When I saw Bai Ziqing leading the dog, I didn't think about it. When you sent Leon away, I thought you were for me and I was afraid, but now I want to I thought, you don’t want to raise it with me, you want to keep the relationship between you and Bai Ziqing. Look, what a good testimony of love, it guards the good memories of you and her, and guards the love between you and her. piece of pure land.

"Later at your house, she called you, and you left me without looking back. I naively thought that something happened to your friends. I drove home alone that night, and in my mind Drowsy, I wondered why I was the only one running the whole road. I didn't realize until the next day that the allergic symptoms subsided. It was a one-way street, and I was always going backwards.

"Pang Zheng, do you think that if I was killed that night, would you feel regretful? Would you hug me like you hugged Bai Ziqing yesterday?"

Pan Zheng was flustered when he heard that, and subconsciously called her name: "Gu Jin..."

Hearing him call her name, Gu Jin suppressed the sore nose, tilted her head and asked him, "Do you know why I'm called Gu Jin?"

Pang Zheng shook his head slowly.

"Qingqingzijin, longing my heart, it refers to missing a lover, a kind of etiquette for ancient women when they get married, and it represents a kind of yearning." She smiled lightly, "Actually, Pangzheng, my mother is a very conservative person in her bones. She is very dependent on my dad and is very loyal to her marriage. She thinks that a man is heaven and the whole family. From the name she gave me, it can be seen that she wants me to marry a good man in the future, so I subconsciously Li especially rejects this. I have lived a vigorous and independent life since I was a child, and I am afraid that like my mother, if I place too much hope on marriage, the greater the disappointment.”

Gu Jin spoke so seriously that people couldn't bear to disturb her.

"Before marrying you, my mother once asked me very seriously at home. She said, do you really want to marry Pang Zheng? She advised me not to marry you, let me think again, she She said that she didn't want my relationship with you to be based on my father's relationship, and she didn't want to marry me in this way. It felt like... selling a girl for glory? But I said, Mom, I am willing to marry Pang Zheng, I I love him, even if it's a south wall, I'll bump into it, and I won't look back, even if people say that the daughter of the Gu family climbed up to the next family for money and fame, I don't care."

Gu Jin's eyes were shining brightly, with his head resting on his arms, like a child who doesn't know much about the world: "But Pang Zheng, I didn't regret it until I hit your south wall. It really hurts too much."

As she spoke, tears flowed from the corners of her eyes: "I know you are unwilling to marry me. At that time, if your grandfather was not critically ill and your family forced you, you would never have said anything like getting married to me." Yes. But I still deceived myself and agreed, I thought I would marry you, even if you don’t love me, at least you treat me sincerely, I believe you will treat me well, I thought we have been together for a long time, sooner or later you Will be influenced by me, no matter what ex-girlfriend or "white moonlight", the rose beside you can only be me. I even think that even if you cheat one day, I will not divorce you, I will spend your money Your property, as a matter of course, enjoys the status of Mrs. Pang, and I will never let this position die.

"I didn't know until now that the problem between us is not who interfered in our marriage at all, it's what you concealed from me, what I concealed from you, it's that we both hid our hearts but still slept on the same bed. Beside Zheng, in fact, our marriage was unequal from the very beginning. You have the mentality of completing the task, and you have the mentality of perfunctory at home. You put the relationship between me and you at the bottom of the things that may happen in the future. "

With every word, she killed him to the core.

Gu Jin stretched out her hand to wipe the corners of her eyes, and laughed at herself: "At that time, I was so naive. I thought about many problems too simply. After I got married, I was afraid that if I spent your money, you would think I was materialistic. Hello, you will think that I am backward, so I have been tense with you, but as long as you treat me a little differently from usual, I will be happy in my heart."

Hearing Gu Jin's distraught voice, Pang Zheng's heart ached like a knife. He reached out to hold her face, wiped her tears desperately, and pulled her into his arms.

He hoarsely said: "Stop talking, please."

The smell on his body is the Hugo Boss (Hugo Boss) that Gu Jin is most familiar with. It is unique to him, with coriander first, cedar wood in the back, and a little Davidoff cold water.

He never used perfume, and he hated this kind of behavior, but Gu Jin liked it, so he would sprinkle a little on it every time he washed his clothes, not too strong, and when the clothes were dried and exposed to the sun, the smell would disappear It is revealed in every inadvertent movement of his, and can only be smelled when you are very close to him.In other words, only you can smell it.

Gu Jin remembered that when he was lying on his lap and playing with his mobile phone, he would always block her nose with one hand, and the smell would penetrate into the nasal cavity, and Gu Jin was as satisfied as a little Pekingese sniffing Take a few sips and ask him, "Why are you blocking my nose?"

He didn't speak, but just blocked it silently, and it was only later that Gu Jin slowly realized that he was afraid that the phone would fall and hit her face.

At that time, she really thought that he loved her, so much that he only had her in his eyes and couldn't tolerate anyone else.

The wetness of tears seeped into the fabric of the clothes layer by layer, swimming away a large group of water stains.Pang Zheng hugged her like he was hugging a baby.

But Gu Jin never raised her hand to hug him.

She calmly repeated the doomed ending from the very beginning: "Pang Zheng, let's separate, agree to a divorce, or go to the Civil Affairs Bureau, whatever you want, I just want us to separate."

He let go of her, took a step back, and said with a resolute and indifferent attitude: "Impossible, don't even think about it."

Gu Jin looked at him with those eyes, raised her head, and confronted him with silence.

Pang Zheng turned his head away from her, then closed the door, walking faster and faster.First he walked through the corridor, then the hall of the hospital, then the parking lot, and then a small garden with no one around. He walked faster and faster, and his breathing became more and more urgent. When he finally couldn't walk, he finally Sit down slowly.

He didn't dare to stay with her anymore, because he knew that what Gu Jin said was true, and what she said would be done.

She believed that she would use herself to influence him, and now she did it.

She said she was leaving him and didn't want to be with him anymore.

Looking at the setting sun in the afternoon, Pang Zheng suddenly raised his hand to cover his eyes.

He remembered the last words Gu Jin said in the ward just now.

She said: "Do you know the feeling of being betrayed, that is, when you are complacent and think that you have got everything, you turn around and find that they are labeled by others. For example, you, such as Bailu. But I can let go of these things. , Pang Zheng, I believe that everything in this world has a chance to start over."

Bai Ziqing's father's funeral was just three days after his death, and there were very few people who came to express their condolences, only a few colleagues who worked together and a few relatives at home.Sitting in a wheelchair and wearing sunglasses, Bai Ziqing faced the tombstone silently for a long time, neither returning the greetings nor speaking to the guests who came to the farewell ceremony.

Yin Bailu supported his mother and stood in the front row, feeling a sense of joy in his heart.

(End of this chapter)