I loved you so deeply

Chapter 39 Separation (1)
Across thousands of mountains and rivers, Gu Jin heard her telling himself, don't look back.

Gu Jin still left, the day she left was cold and bitter, as if after this cold wind, everything would welcome the warmth of spring and the appearance of flowers blooming.

When she left, she didn't tell anyone. Like a sudden idea, she picked up the luggage that she had packed a long time ago, got dressed, locked the iron door of the old house, and left quietly.

In order to make herself look more complex, she even carefully put on a light makeup.

She still remembers going to the company to go through the resignation procedures that day.

Fu Anchang stood waiting for her in the lobby on the first floor. The two hadn't seen each other for a long time, and they had nothing to say for a while.

"They all said that you had a serious illness after the car accident. The colleagues in the company once visited you, but they were blocked by the people from the other family. Gu Jin, what happened that made you have to resign?" One step, you don't want your job, and you don't want your home?"

The sunlight outside the window was too glaring, Gu Jin turned around and said calmly, "I've been in City B for a long time, and I want to go out to relax."

Fu Anchang asked: "When will you be back?"

"Don't ask, okay?" Gu Jin was not emotional, his face was pale, "I don't want to report every step I take in my life, An Chang, this is my own business."

Fu Anchang insisted: "But your current state is very worrying. Gu Jin, you used to be a very directional and energetic girl, but now, look at you." He pulled her to the lobby In front of a decorative mirror, forcing her to look at herself.

The person in the mirror is much thinner than the previous Gu Jin. It seems to be the kind of figure I pursued a long time ago, but the eyes are empty and lifeless, and the lips are not decorated with lipstick, which makes people feel a little haggard .

Fu Anchang pinched her shoulders and looked into her eyes seriously: "Gu Jin, you can go or pursue the life you want, but don't torture yourself, okay? I care about you not only Because I like you, no matter from the perspective of a friend or a colleague, even if you can't be with me in the end, I still hope you are well. In my memory, Gu Jin has never been like this. "

After experiencing several ups and downs in life, it is difficult to return to the original youthful appearance.

"An Chang." Gu Jin looked up at him indifferently, "You are not the same as before."

In a word, both of them fell silent.

Fu An often looked at himself in the mirror, and suddenly said: "But there must be hope, right?"

"What's different today is for a better life in the future. We all inevitably have to lose something in ourselves in exchange for an understanding of something else." He let go of Gu Jin and took a step back, "Whether we go No matter how far and how long it takes, you must come back."

Fu Anchang pointed at himself and smiled: "I still owe you the money."

Gu Jin also smiled at him and said, "Okay."

She turned and left, waving at Fu Anchang against the sun, as if saying goodbye to everything in the past.

Gu Jin bought a plane ticket to Beijing. She felt that Beijing is like a huge transit station, which can not only accommodate young people with dreams who come from all directions, but also accommodate young people like her who don’t know where to go. Drifter.

She thought, no matter where her next stop is or where she lives, she should go to such a city to have a look.

There was very little luggage, and there was only a huge suitcase and a small bag with him. Gu Jin struggled to check the suitcase, and when he turned around, he saw Pang Zheng.

He was three or four meters away from her, wearing a light-colored shirt and coat, and looked at her motionless.

People came and went, people gathered and people scattered, they passed by one by one in front of his eyes, but there was only one Gu Jin in his eyes.

He drove with her all the way to the airport, watched her dragging the suitcases through the lobby, smiled with the stewardess and took his boarding pass, and watched her never look back from the beginning to the end.

Gu Jin stood there helplessly for a while, then slowly walked over.

He looked at her fixedly: "where are you going?"

"I don't know either." Gu Jin put the ticket behind her back, "It doesn't matter where you go, there is always a place worth stopping."

Pang Zheng lowered his eyes: "Are you back?"

"Not necessarily, maybe."

Strictly speaking, Gu Jin doesn't know the definition of the so-called "return". Now she has no relatives in City B, her mother is abroad, her father has passed away, and her real hometown is thousands of miles away. City C.

Pang Zheng was stubborn: "Then I'll go with you." Then, he went to get his wallet from the inner layer of his coat and went to buy a plane ticket, "I will follow you wherever you go, and I won't leave you if you don't come back." Come back, when you want to come back, I will accompany you."

"Pang Zheng!" Gu Jin grabbed his arm angrily, and finally saw the fluctuating emotions on his face that he hadn't seen for many days, "Can you be more mature!"

"I'm different from you." Gu Jin looked at him, "You have family, friends, and Shengheng, and you have to bear more than before. There are too many things here that you can't let go of. You can't do that." Irresponsible."

"Then you are responsible!" He gritted his teeth and growled, as if he had reached the limit of his patience, "You have no home, no relatives? What's the point of leaving without even saying hello?"

Gu Jin slowly denied: "I don't have a home, my home is not here."

"you have me."

"But you are not mine."

Gu Jin stood quietly opposite him, one hand was still on his arm, but his face still had that faint and firm expression.

The side government was defeated, and a panic that had nowhere to vent gradually accumulated in his heart, which made him at a loss.

He suddenly reached out to hug her, and held her firmly in his chest, like a lover who was about to say goodbye to him for the last time.

"No matter where you go, let me know, even if it's just one word, let me know if you are safe." He murmured, like a child, "I won't sign the divorce agreement, I will wait here for you to come back , how long I will wait, I will not marry anyone else, I only want you."

He buried his face in her hair, and the familiar smell lingered in his nostrils, making his eyes sour.

"I don't know why you insist on leaving, but if you want to leave, I will give you time. When you have enough fun outside, think about it, and don't hate me so much, come back to me."

Pang Zheng put his hands on her back, as if making a promise: "We are parting, not separating."

Parting is about to meet again, and parting is never seeing each other again.

Gu Jin let herself be hugged by him like this, and after waiting for a long time, she stretched out her hand slowly to respond to him. She whispered a word in his ear, and Pang Zheng's body froze instantly.

Gu Jin pushed him away, and walked backwards towards the security checkpoint.

Looking at him while walking, Pang Zheng stood where he was, gradually becoming a tiny dot in her line of sight.

There was more than an hour before boarding the plane. Gu Jin got up early and didn't have time to eat. To pass the time, she walked into a small noodle restaurant and ordered a 78 yuan beef noodle.

Almost no one would fill their stomachs in such a place where they were taken advantage of. She was the only one in the huge space. The young boss was sitting at the front desk making coffee, and the strong aroma of coffee overflowed from all directions. He probably felt that the atmosphere was good, so he let it go A CD to listen to.

The ethereal and moving female voice sounded, it was a song that Gu Jin was very familiar with - "Heartbeat".

how long have I not seen you
where do you think you are
It lives in my heart
breathe with me

how far away
I thought I couldn't smell your breath
Who knew your back was so long

I see you when I look back
let it go
It's too late to like you from the beginning
white clouds surround the blue sky
If we can't be together forever

also give us at least
nostalgic courage
The waiter brought over a bowl of steaming beef noodles, Gu Jin lowered his head and took two bites, and suddenly burst into tears.

She remembered the first time she met Pang Zheng.

It was the winter of her first semester of freshman year, and she was also at the airport.

Not long after the [-]th holiday, grandma in city C was seriously ill. She rushed home from city B to visit the doctor. Fortunately, grandma escaped from danger and everything was safe. Her mother felt sorry for her running back and forth on the train. The money let her fly back.

After exiting the gate, there was a riot in the airport hall by accident. There were people in police uniforms outside maintaining order and driving away spectators.

Gu Jin was carrying a bag, and out of curiosity, she took a look from a distance outside the crowd.

I don't know what happened, the two men fought fiercely, the one in the white shirt bent over in embarrassment, gasped and stared at the one on the ground, as if enduring something that broke the bottom line.

There are several young people around his age pulling the two of them to avoid a bigger dispute.

Gu Jin stood there watching for a while, and gradually came to a conclusion.

Probably another love triangle story at [-] o'clock in the evening.

She withdrew from the crowd and went outside to hail a taxi. As she was walking, she was hit by someone behind her. She turned around and saw the man who was fighting with someone in the encirclement just now. He was wearing a white shirt, with red eyes and a straight back. Get straight, walk out of your mind, and stay unmoved by everything.

He just kept going forward, without purpose, without direction.

That was the first time that Gu Jin had that strange feeling towards a member of the opposite sex.

It seems that in the whole world, only she can feel the loneliness emanating from him, which is a kind of resonance, a kind of heartbeat, and a kind of inexplicable pain.

Later, she went back to school and gradually became busy, but every time she mentioned words related to the airport, she always unconsciously remembered the back of that afternoon, the lonely man in the white shirt.

The roommate laughed at her as a spring heart sprout, a typical symptom of wanting to fall in love, and it is wishful thinking to be obsessed with a man who only met once.

Gu Jin also thought that she was the girl Huaichun's love at first sight, most of these things are insignificant, maybe she will never see him again in this lifetime.

Until the summer vacation of senior year, she and a few classmates were sent to an advertising company as an intern for the internship task arranged by the school. They said they were interns, but they were actually just handy workers. They did all the hard work. .

That day the advertising company was doing a promotional roadshow for a six-star hotel, and they were responsible for arranging the booth. The weather in City B was in the [-]s and [-]s in August, and the girls didn't have lunch at noon, so they just stayed in the sun for several hours.

There was a piece of advertising cloth that needed to be hung on a high place. At that time, there were no idlers around, so the project manager in charge gave this job to Gu Jin and a few workers.

Workers are responsible for climbing up, while Gu Jin needs to pass a pure metal billboard up from below.

Unexpectedly, the scaffolding was not firmly nailed, and the workers shook it a few times after going up, and they were about to fall down, and the billboard was not stable. Gu Jin subconsciously reached out to help the ladder to catch people. As a result, the billboard still on top was crumbling. It slammed down on Gu Jin with a few bangs.

Gu Jin closed her eyes at that time, and curled up tightly, just begging not to hit her head.

The expected severe pain did not hit, Gu Jin slowly opened his eyes, only to find that the billboard was caught by a man with his hands.

Pang Zheng stood not far from her, holding the edge of the billboard with both hands high, a bit struggling, Chen Zhanbei followed behind him, sweating from fright, and quickly took it.

"Brother? Are you okay? Did you hit it?"

Pang Zheng handed the billboard to the security guard who came to help at the door, and patted the ashes on his hands: "It's okay, is there an event in the hotel today?"

"Maybe." Chen Zhanbei had lingering fears, and looked at Pang Zheng for a while, and then lost his temper with the manager in charge of the booth, "Are you blind? What are you doing? This is for our young master to catch up today. Now, if you can’t catch it, and you smash your arm and hurt your leg, you will be guilty of a serious crime, you know that!”

A group of people came to see the small wounds on Pang Zheng's hands. The manager nodded and bowed to apologize to him, and was busy asking the infirmary to come out to deliver medicine and band-aids.

He waved his hand casually, and whistled to Gu Jin who was helping the worker up: "Hey, what's the matter, are you hurt?"

He and Chen Zhanbei came here to discuss business. Unexpectedly, he ran into this trouble before he even entered the hotel gate.The girl didn't seem to be very old, and she was quite stubborn. She didn't hide when the sign fell, and she desperately protected the ladder with her hands to prevent people from falling. She was a desperate master.

Gu Jin stared at him blankly for a long time before thanking him as if lost: "No, thank you just now."

Pang Zheng had the car keys hooked in his hand, dressed in smoke gray casual clothes, and looked dignified, completely different from the way Gu Jin saw him at the airport that day.

He looked around at the girl with great interest, not knowing whether to praise her or mock her, and said unhurriedly, "You are so brave."

In the hot weather, Gu Jin's cheeks were tanned red, and she felt embarrassed, especially after hearing such words, when she came back to her senses, she found that the man had disappeared behind the revolving door of the hotel with his companion. She was only left with an all-too-familiar figure from the back.

Gu Jin will never forget that back view until he dies.

The soft and melodious voice of the female singer is still singing in the CD player.

The words of the lyrics are straight to the heart.

If we can't be together forever

also give us at least
nostalgic courage
the right to hug

so you can understand

traces of my heart
Gu Jin thought of her heartbeat at the very first second, the lonely white figure at the airport, and his careless but definite act of protecting her under the scorching sun.She thought of that autumn night two years ago, when he was across the table from her and stretched out that clean and warm palm to her.

He said, hello, Pang Zheng.

In fact, at that time, he must have never remembered seeing himself, and he must not have known that there was such a girl who had only met him for a few times, and his love was so deep.

She believes in all the coincidences in this world, and also believes in the wonderful fate that turns back and forth.She was glad that she had the opportunity to get such a marriage with him, and she was very grateful to God for giving them the opportunity to live together.

It's just that I didn't expect that everything would end up in such a lose-lose situation.

She had devoured a big bowl of noodles, Gu Jin carelessly wiped her face with her hand, the back of her hand was cold.

She took out a 100 yuan note from her bag and put it on the table, got up to leave, the sound of music behind her seemed to be getting farther and farther away, Gu Jin heard her telling herself, don't look back.

After an accident, it seems that many people have grown up.

A hundred days after Grandpa Pang died of illness, Pang Lei's job was reassigned and promoted again, and his family moved to Beijing, where they lived in the old man's former residence. In this way, only Pang Zheng was left in City B.

(End of this chapter)