box of hearts

Chapter 250
Zhou Dun retracted his hand an inch, "My lord is healed, my mother fell ill. The imperial doctor saw it, and said it was a disease of depression, plus I didn't sleep well for a few days, I didn't eat well, and I was anxious because of my lord's illness. Anxiety and anxiety, resulting in loss of energy and blood, and heart palpitations, need to be carefully treated with medicine, and now I am recuperating in the Baosu Pavilion in the back."

Baosu Pavilion is a small side room in the back hall of Jiuhuaju, next to the study, which is used for taking a nap on weekdays.The small structure is very delicately arranged. The door curtains are all made of plain silk twisted with silver thread. The walls on both sides are pasted with white flower silk. Sandalwood carved small bed, bed curtain half covered.On the step stool under the bed, Ying Zhi was sitting curled up with her knees hugged, talking to someone in a low voice, she glanced here from the corner of her eye, and suddenly woke up, "My lord! You, you got out of bed?"

Qi She nodded to her, then swept her elbows behind her, "You go out, Zhou Dun goes out too."

Yingzhi turned her head to look at the bed, Qingtian leaned on the silk cushion and leaned on the head of the bed, her long hair was tied up behind her neck with a rhinoceros jade hairpin, she was wearing a honey-colored gown, thin and thin.With some tiredness in her eyes, she nodded to Yingzhi, and then looked back at Qi She.

He must have taken care of his clothes on purpose, he was neat and tidy, and even his beard was well shaved, but after a near-death experience, he was still sick and boneless, with a dragon head stick in his right hand, limping more obvious than before.Qingtian watched him strenuously approaching her step by step, walking back from death to her, and sitting in front of the bed, every step was like a huge divine favor, which made her eyes filled with gratitude.

She turned her eyes away, and looked down at his walking stick beside the bed from the hot and sour light.

"I've been lame for half my life and haven't used this lame stone. When I recover, I'll burn it right away." Qi She didn't look at the walking stick, and her eyes, which were sunken in the eye sockets, were always staring at the green field, concentrating on it. Like a deer stuck in a clear spring.

Qingtian's eyes were red and moist again - only to hear the deep and indifferent voice in his voice as always.After a while, she rolled her eyes and looked at each other, with a little bit of light shining in her eyes, "The third master's spirit is very good, it's really happy."

Qi She lowered his head abruptly, as if dodging a blow that came out of nowhere; then he raised his face to face her, "Thank you for your hard work."

"It's my duty to take care of you, why talk about 'hard work'?" Qingtian tugged at the embroidered quilt that had collapsed on his lap, and smiled slightly, "It's a bit uncomfortable to be so polite all of a sudden."

The snow has melted away, and many birds are making noise through the window to clear the sky.The sunny light fell on Qi She's face, and his whole face became thin and weak, but the air of self-possession and dominance remained the same. The longer people look at this air and think about it more, Know less.

"Qingtian, I have something to tell you."

As if waiting for his words, Qing Tian immediately continued: "I have something to tell you, let me talk first." She looked aside for a moment, and when her eyes returned to Qi She's face, he thought she was about to cry , but what overflowed from her eyes was just a little Jingxiu smile, "The words I told you before were meant to hurt you. They are all nonsense. Don't mind. I used to go to the Baiyu Temple in Xiangshan to burn it a few times. Xiang, I know the teacher’s wife there. I will go to her. I only ask for three vegetarian meals and a meditation bed. If she refuses to take her in for fear of causing trouble, I will go to find a house near Dongzhimen, where there are few people and the location It is also considered clean, there is a small courtyard, and I bought a maidservant and a ten-year-old boy. The girl does some chores under the stove, and the man guards the middle door and passes the comprador. I make a living in the room and practice quietly. , and it’s no different from being in a Buddhist temple. Over the years, I’ve also saved a few individuals. I’ve saved enough for a lifetime, and I only plan to bring some four-season clothes and a few pieces of jewelry, all of which are outdated. You gave it to me when you were in Huaiyatang, and I keep it as a souvenir. When I recovered from my illness, I moved away from here. When you are here, I will say goodbye to you. If I am not here, I will say hello today. Everyone take care of each other."

For a long time, Qi She didn't say a word, and then he nodded in self-explanation, "Are you going - or are you going to go, so you have completely given up on me?"

Qingtian hesitated for a moment, opened his hands on his legs together, smiled, and stared at his empty palm, "If it wasn't for you, my heart would have been buried in the ground many years ago, you have given me the grace of rebirth, the virtue of regeneration, Now that this heart is dying for you, it is the right thing to do, and I am willing to do it." She covered the other hand with one hand, tightened it gently, and held herself, "Since Mu Yun passed away in August, I have been deeply in love with you." I feel lifeless, like there is always a rumbling rumble in the depths of my liver, non-stop. Until the day when I was doing May Seventh, that——, your Taoer, she ran to the mourning hall and made a big fuss. I agree Xiao Zhao said, no one can treat my sister Duan Qingtian like this. Since then, I have the intention to live again, and I live to let that woman die. Later, when I heard the news that she was executed, I couldn’t bear it at all. I can't be happy, I suddenly understand that I hate her not because of Mu Yun, but for myself, I hate her for taking you away from me, but in fact I know it has nothing to do with her. But, without her At that time, I still had a glimmer of hope, and that was the time when I was most desperate. During the whole day, I could hardly do anything. One set after another, just waiting for you to come back at night. Dress up elegantly and elegantly tonight, bright and beautiful tomorrow night, pestering you to chat with me, listening to my drum and piano singing... You should also remember that part."

Qingtian laughed, his eyes filled with broken light, the light dimmed little by little, as if someone was crushing it with his feet, "In order to keep you, I can spend all my treasures and become ten women, one hundred She is a woman, but from the first moment I saw that Taoer, I knew that I would never be as young as her again, and maybe what you need is youth, since in that girl, I have nothing but youth You can see it. In fact, as early as that night, when you fell asleep on my body—staying in my body, I already understood that everything is over. 'Out of the east gate, there are women like clouds'[11] , the fresh and beautiful women in the world are all you can ask for, why stick to the fading youth and fading beauty? I have also heard some people say that you will ascend the throne and proclaim yourself the emperor, and you think my background is not elegant, or you have another thousand. I don't know the hundred reasons, but I know that every one of them will make me feel sorry and ashamed every day when I wake up. Third Master, I tried my best, I really did my best, I, I killed someone. When I was young, I did many shameful and bad things, but I personally facilitated a murder... That Taoer is stupid and evil, yes, but no matter how stupid and evil, she is just an ignorant child. I want a child There is no kindness in life."

Qingtian bowed his head lowly, his plain sleeves dangling, "For a long time, I had to drink half a bottle of spirits to fall asleep at night, but now, even if I fell asleep, I would only keep having nightmares. I always dreamed that the little girl crawled out of the dung water and wanted to pull me down too. But the most terrifying part of this dream is that I am not afraid at all. The flower house is full of exotic flowers and weeds, the fragrance is intoxicating, but Right now it's no different to me than a cesspool, how many times have you stayed away from me like I stink badly and I'm just left alone in this damn place sinking like a pile of crap .Even if I rack my brains and get rid of the next woman next to you, and the next one, and the next one, I can't kill all the young women in the world. My mother taught me that only You can keep a man, but now I look in the mirror and feel that I am so ugly. Everything I do to keep you makes me more beautiful. Be ugly. Third master, I really tried my best, but I can’t do it. It’s God’s will, so I don’t have any regrets. The reason is that the person involved cannot understand it, and there is no right or wrong. I never resent you, and you must not blame yourself. The cup of tea I made for you before you fell ill—I The cup of tea that fell was made by a voodoo. It is said that it can make you stay with me until death. God knows, this is my greatest wish in this life, but with this method, no matter whether the wish comes true or not, my life I will always look down on myself. I was born in a lowly family, and I have long been used to being looked down upon by others, but when I come to this world, at least I should look down on myself. A long time ago, when Qiao Yun broke up with me, he said to me that I was destined to be just a lowly plaything. Toyed and abandoned, I have heard countless vicious words in my life. This is the most vicious sentence. Third Lord, thank you for never treating me with playthings for a day in these years, and please start well and end well, don't let me spend the last day Waiting to be abandoned by you, please let me leave by myself."

The penetrating color made everything bright and bright, Qi She stared at Qingtian, and the tears that she didn't want to shed collided in her eyes, and the stars were cold, like his precious armor in the arsenal. The cold light emitted.Tears are her last armor.

(End of this chapter)