Thick black school

Chapter 66
——The opening should be thick, and the closed mouth should be black
Faithful words don't have to be harsh, irony can also be said rightly.
[Zonggo Mantra] Admonitions are hated by all the people in the world, and they don't want to listen to them, so there are only a few people who dare to speak out.

People have self-esteem, and they usually have a resistance to things and words that they are not used to.In interpersonal communication, if you say something clearly and positively, the other party may be disgusted and unwilling to accept it.For example, if a word of criticism is put forward tactfully, it can also achieve the purpose of criticizing the other party without being brave for a while. This is the skill of thick black speaking.Because expressing words that are not easy to hear in a tactful way not only saves the face of the other party, but also achieves the purpose of persuasion.

In Wei State, one of the seven heroes of the Warring States Period, the founding monarch Wei Wenhou sent General Le Yang to attack Zhongshan, a small country, and captured Zhongshan soon after.Wei Wenhou decided to entrust the land of Zhongshan to his son, and told the ministers about his decision.He proudly asked his ministers: "All my loves, what kind of monarch do you think I am?" He thought to himself, these ministers should not praise me as a benevolent monarch.Sure enough, only the praise of "The King is a benevolent and righteous monarch" can be heard above the hall.After hearing this, Wei Wenhou felt indescribably happy.

Unexpectedly, in the midst of all the praise, Minister Ren Zuo stood up and said, "Your Majesty, you got Zhongshan, why don't you give it to your younger brother, but to your son? How can you say yes?" What about the benevolent monarch?"

When Wei Wenhou heard this, he was furious, thinking that it is rare for me to be so happy today, but there are such people who disobey him and don't know good and bad to spoil the fun.Ren Zuo saw that Wei Wenhou was angry, and it was hard to say the long speech that he wanted to persuade, so he had to leave first.

Wei Wenhou thought to himself, Ren Zuo dared to sing the opposite tune, so is the unanimous praise of others completely out of sincerity?So he asked the minister Zhai Huang again: "Zhai Aiqing, what kind of monarch do you think I am?"

Zhai Huang secretly thought that Marquis Wen of Wei would not listen to harsh words, so I can only say pleasant words, lest he get angry and the situation gets out of hand, so he replied: "In my humble opinion, the king is a benevolent and righteous king."

Sure enough, Wei Wenhou listened happily and asked: "Zhai Aiqing, why don't you tell me why I am a benevolent and righteous king?"

Di Huang replied: "Your Majesty, I have heard that there is a saying: 'As long as the king is benevolent and righteous, the subordinates will be upright.' Just now, Ren Zuo dared to criticize the King outright. Doesn't it prove that the King is a king of benevolence and righteousness?"

After hearing this, Marquis Wen of Wei became more and more happy, and realized from the words that what Di Huang said was very beneficial to the governance of Wei State. Since I am the king of benevolence and righteousness, it is only natural for my ministers to be upright.So please go back to your seat and treat each other with courtesy.

Although it is said that "loyal words that are harsh to the ear are conducive to action", in the view of Houheixue, sometimes "loyal words that are pleasant to the ear" are more conducive to action.In this story, the method adopted by Zhai Huang is "loyalty and honesty", because he not only affirmed that Wei Wenhou is "the king of benevolence and righteousness", but also told the truth that "the king is benevolent and righteous, and his ministers are upright", which made Wei Wenhou happy. To reflect on Ren Zuo's "faithful advice", in order to recognize and correct his wrong practices.The ingenuity of Zhai Huang lies in the way of praise and praise, which also plays the role of severe and sharp criticism.Whether it is "loyalty is against the ear" or "loyalty is pleasant to the ear", it must be used appropriately according to different objects and situations, and must not be copied mechanically.

When persuading others, we should also use a more peaceful way and language to achieve our goals, as Zhai Huang did, so as not to hurt the peace, but also to convince others more.

Yanzi was the Prime Minister of Qi State in the Spring and Autumn Period, and he was very good at admonishing the monarch with jokes.

Once, Qi Jinggong asked Yanzi: "Your home is near the market. Do you know what is expensive and what is cheap?" Shoes) are sold more expensive, while shoes (referring to ordinary shoes) are sold cheaper.”

Duke Jing of Qi heard this and knew that Yan Zi was mocking himself for abusing the criminal law. Many people in Qi State were tortured and their feet were chopped off.

Another time, Qi Jinggong was very angry and ordered the warriors to tie up a man and chop him into pieces of meat. No one would listen to his persuasion.Yanzi hurried over, grabbed the man's hair with his left hand, and held the knife handed over by the warrior in his right hand. He raised his head and asked Qi Jinggong in the hall, "Let me execute the execution for the king! Tell me, the ancient sage king dismembered people. Where did it come from?"

After hearing this, Duke Jing of Qi stepped down from his seat and said, "You let this man go, it's my fault."

Duke Jing of Qi had a horse, which he liked very much, but one day the horse fell ill and died.Qi Jinggong was very angry, and with a long dagger in his hand, he was about to stab the groom who raised the horse to death.Yanzi hurried forward and said: "Wait a minute, let me kill him for the king!" Then, he took Jinggong's long spear and said to Jinggong: "The king did this to let him kill him. If he died without knowing what crime he committed, he must feel wronged, let me tell him what crime he committed before it is too late to kill him."

Yan Zi took the dagger, approached the groom and said, "You have committed three crimes and should be killed. First, you raised horses for our king, and you carelessly raised the horse to death. This is a capital offense; second, you let us The king had to kill you, the horse breeder, because the horse was sick and died, and you committed a capital crime; thirdly, you let the story of our king killing the horse breeder because the horse died of illness spread to other vassal states Let our monarch suffer the bad reputation of valuing horses and despising people, and this crime deserves death. You have committed these three crimes, so you should be killed." Saying this, Yan Zi was about to strike.

After hearing this, Duke Jing hurriedly said: "Sir, stop, please let him go! Don't let me be charged with inhumanity."

When Yanzi advised Qi Jinggong, he did not use positive criticism, but used euphemistic and tortuous methods, using "jumping the noble and despising the humble" to persuade Qi Jinggong not to abuse torture; he asked Jinggong "how did the ancient sages dismember people" to make him realize My own fault; count the crimes of the groom, and tell Qi Jinggong not to make a big mistake because of a small one.This became the usual method used by wise courtiers in later dynasties to persuade the monarch.

In reality, criticizing others in a tactful way can ease the atmosphere and make it easier for people to accept, which can achieve twice the result with half the effort.

Bacon, a British thinker, once said: "The subtlety and tactfulness in conversation is more valuable than eloquence." Although one must be upright and straightforward, it does not mean that speaking can also be outspoken.Too abrupt bluntness is sometimes a kind of negative and negative language hint, which not only makes people resist and disgust, but also makes people worry and even increase psychological pressure.

For example, when a doctor sees a patient and encounters a patient with a serious condition that cannot be diagnosed and treated in time, he will bluntly say: "Why are you so thin! Your complexion is also ugly!" "Do you know how far your illness has reached? "Oh! What did you do? Why didn't you come to see me sooner for this disease!" What would the negative implications contained in these statements make the patient think?As a doctor, is this healing or causing disease?

On the contrary, if the doctor said: "Fortunately, you came to see the doctor in time. As long as you take the medicine on time, pay more attention to rest, and let go of your thoughts, I believe you will get better soon." This will give great encouragement to the patient.

Therefore, in speech, those who have the ability to control language and understand the beauty of thick and black speech will freely use a variety of euphemistic expressions.They know that "straightness" is not always possible in life, and sometimes they have to be subtle and tactful to achieve the best expression effect.

Thick Black New Mysteries

When interacting with people, it is inevitable that there will be disagreements with others. If you directly deny other people's opinions and express your own opinions, it is often difficult to be effective.In fact, scheming and talkative people know that the best way to make the other party accept it is to put forward their own negative opinions in a tactful tone.Euphemistic language can make communication that may have been difficult in the first place smooth, allowing the listener to receive information in a more comfortable atmosphere.Compared with those who speak too bluntly and easily hurt people's feelings and self-esteem, people who speak tactfully are better at regulating the atmosphere of awkward conversations.Houheixue believes that when criticizing or complimenting others, it is advisable to speak frankly and honestly.Avoid the taboo points of the other party while talking, choose a topic that the other party is interested in, do not reveal your intentions early, and approach step by step. When the other party has followed you for a certain distance, he has already unconsciously Disarmed and surrendered.

The tone of the speech is tactful and reserved, and the effect of insinuation is miraculous, and it can be said that it is invincible.Straightforward speaking is more acceptable for family members or close friends, but for colleagues, superiors and subordinates, or people who are not very close to you, it may be inappropriate to speak straightforwardly.

When you get angry and the world is settled, it is better to be a general than to be a general.
[Zongwu Mantra] Human psychology is nothing more than two functions of repulsion and attraction. If you think it is beneficial, you will attract it to make it close to you, and if you think it is harmful, you will repel it and keep it away from you.

As the saying goes: "Trees are afraid of peeling, people are afraid of anger." Sometimes when we talk to people, we have exhausted our words, but the other party is still indifferent and sees no action.At this time, you may wish to use the aggressive method to stimulate the opponent and lead him to "hook" to achieve the goal.Mencius once said: "When you get angry, the world is settled." This anger is caused by stimulation, and courage is also born from gallbladder. It can be seen how miraculous the function of "excitement" is.

The so-called provocative method is to use the positive side of other people's self-esteem and rebellious psychology to arouse their unwillingness to admit defeat in a "stimulating" way, and bring out their potential, thereby obtaining unusual persuasive effects.The provocative method is a commonly used persuasion technique in the thick black language. Using the provocative method can often make the other party emotional, so that he can do something that he would not normally do.

Zhuge Liang in the Three Kingdoms period was very good at using the method of aggressive generals in selecting and employing generals to arouse the courage of soldiers to fight and kill the enemy.In the Battle of Chibi, Zhuge Liang used the aggressive method to the fullest, making the arrogant Zhou Yu make up his mind to fight Cao Cao, thus winning the Battle of Chibi.

Due to Liu Bei's kindness and softness, the land of Jingxiang fell into Cao Cao's hands easily, and lost the best foothold.At this time, Cao Cao's military strength increased dramatically to one million; with Liu Bei's mere land in Jiangxia, how could it withstand millions of people.

No wonder Sun Quan was undecided in the war. Zhou Yu said he wanted to fight, but he was undecided in his heart.

Zhuge Liang arrived in Jiangdong under Liu Bei's order to persuade Sun Quan to fight against Cao together, and Lu Su took him to meet Sun Quan.Seeing Sun Quan's blue eyes and purple beard, Zhuge Liang was a handsome man, and he knew that it was difficult to persuade him with words, so he made up his mind to use words to provoke him.After the chatter, Sun Quan asked: "How many soldiers does Cao have?" Zhuge Liang replied: "The horse-buried navy has a total of more than 100 million." Sun Quan didn't believe it.Zhuge Liang said: "When Cao Cao was in Yanzhou, he had 20 Qingzhou troops; pacified Hebei, and another 60 million; he recruited 40 million new recruits in the Central Plains, and now he has 30 million Jingzhou soldiers: in this way, Cao's soldiers are no less than 150 million. 100. I only said 2000 million because I was afraid of frightening the people in Jiangdong.” After hearing this, Lu Su turned pale with fright, and kept winking at Zhuge Liang, but Zhuge Liang pretended not to see it.Sun Quan asked again: "How many generals under Cao Cao can there be?" Zhuge Liang said: "There are no less than [-] resourceful men who can recruit generals who are accustomed to fighting!" Sun Quan said: "Cao Cao has the intention of annexing Jiangdong. Please make up your mind for me, sir." Zhuge Liang said: "Cao Cao won the battle of Guandu, and broke Jingzhou again, and his power shocked the world. Now even if there are heroes who want to contend with him, there is no use for them, so Liu Yuzhou just escaped here. I hope you will do what you can, General: If you can compete with him with Wu and Yue, it is better to break off relations with him earlier; if you can't, why don't you surrender to him according to the advice of the counselors?"

Sun Quan said: "As you said, why didn't Liu Yuzhou surrender to Cao Cao?" Zhuge Liang said: "Tian Heng was just a strong man in Qi State back then. What's more, Liu Yuzhou, who is a member of the royal family, a man of great talent, and admired by all the people. It is God's will to fail in his career, how can he be subdued?" Sun Quan couldn't help being furious when he heard this, and retreated into the back hall.Everyone laughed at Zhuge Liang's inability to speak, so they scattered.Lu Su kept complaining about Zhuge Liang, criticizing him for despising Sun Quan.Zhuge Liang smiled and said, "I have my own plan to defeat Cao Liang. If you don't ask me, how can I tell?" After hearing this, Lu Su hurried to the back hall to tell Sun Quan.Sun Quan turned angry and laughed, and came out to meet Zhuge Liang again, and hosted a banquet for him.After asking Ge Liang for a realistic analysis, Sun Quan really further strengthened his determination to resist Cao.

Zhou Yu is the core of Jiangdong's main combat faction. However, when he met Zhuge Liang, he deliberately said that it is better to surrender than to fight.Lu Su didn't know it was a fraud, so he argued with Zhou Yu face to face.Zhuge Liang pretended to advocate surrender, and then said: "I have a plan. I don't have to take the sheep to carry the wine, accept the soil to offer the seal, and I don't have to cross the river myself. I just need to send an envoy to send two people to the north of the river to Cao Cao. The army will roll up its flags and unload its armor and retreat." Zhou Yu asked, "Which two people should we use?" Zhuge Liang said, "When I was in Longzhong, I heard that Cao Cao built a very magnificent tower on the Zhanghe River. 'Tongque Terrace', and a wide selection of beauties from all over the world are placed in it. Cao Cao was originally a womanizer. He heard very early on that Mr. Qiao in Jiangdong had two daughters. Rong, the appearance of the closed moon and shameful flowers. Cao Cao once swore: "I wish to sweep the world and become an emperor; once I wish to get the two Qiaos in the east of the Yangtze River, put them in Tongque Terrace, and enjoy my old age. In this way, there is nothing to die It's detestable." It can be seen that he led millions of soldiers and watched the south of the Yangtze River, but in fact he just wanted to get these two women. Why don't the general go to Mr. Qiao, buy these two women with a thousand gold, and send someone to Cao Cao. After getting them, I will be satisfied, and I will definitely return to the court." Zhou Yu said: "Cao Cao wants to get Er Qiao, is there any proof?" Zhuge Liang said: "Cao Cao's youngest son, Cao Zhi, wrote a pen. Cao Cao once ordered him to write an article "Bronze Sparrow Terrace Fu". The meaning in the Fu is that Shan Dao's family became the emperor and vowed to marry Er Qiao."

Zhou Yu said: "Sir, can you still remember this Fu?" Zhuge Liang said: "I love its beauty and beauty, and I have memorized it once." After finishing speaking, he immediately recited "Tongque Terrace Fu".Among them, the phrase "take 'Er Qiao' in the southeast today, and enjoy the day and night with him" really means that he wants to get Jiangdong Er Qiao.After hearing this, Zhou Yu was furious, stood up and pointed to the north and cursed: "The old thief is too deceitful!" Zhuge Liang hurriedly dissuaded him, saying: "The emperor of the Han Dynasty used to marry a princess. Today, in order to fight off the enemy, these two women from the people have What a pity?" Zhou Yu said, "Sir, I don't know that Da Qiao is the wife of Sun Bofu (that is, Sun Ce, Sun Quan's brother, who was dead at the time), and Xiao Qiao is Zhou Yu's wife." Zhuge Liang pretended to be panicked and said: "I really don't know about this, and I just say nonsense, it's a death penalty!" Zhou Yu said, "I swear against the old thief, I hope you can help me."

Therefore, the two made a plan to jointly fight against Cao Jun.

Zhuge Liang knew Zhou Yu's character very well. When he met Zhou Yu, he kept silent about the current situation, but recited Cao Cao's "Tongque Terrace Fu". Zhou Yu was furious after hearing this, and finally made up his mind to resist Cao.Why?It turns out that "Two Qiao" was mentioned in Cao Cao's poem. Da Qiao is Sun Ce's wife, and Xiao Qiao is his own wife. Both wives will be taken away, and men will be furious.Therefore, Zhuge Liang's aggressive method was successful.

During the reign of Tang Tianyou, the traitor Zhu Quanzhong led troops to attack Jin Wang Li Keyong who was stationed in Taiyuan.One of the rebel generals, Gao Siji, was extremely brave and good at using throwing knives. He could kill people with a hundred steps.The king of Jin originally planned to keep him in front of the tent, but he insisted on going back to his hometown in Shandong to live his pastoral life and change from evil to good.

Later Li Cunxiao was murdered by treacherous ministers. When Zhu Quanzhong heard about it, he sent troops to attack again. Wang Yanzhang in front of his account was not only brave but also resourceful.The King of Jin asked who would like to fight, and all the soldiers were dumbfounded, and no one asked to fight.The king of Jin was very depressed, and his eldest son Li Siyuan said: "The old general Gao Siji lived in Yunzhou, Shandong, why not invite him to meet the enemy?" The king of Jin was overjoyed and ordered Li Siyuan to go to Shandong to ask for the general.

When Li Siyuan came to the countryside of Shandong, he went straight to Gaojiazhuang to look for Gao Siji. When he mentioned the past, Gao Siji said: "Since Yong Nangong Cunxiao captured me, I spared my life, and returned to my hometown. For several years, I have put aside the matter of military warfare. See you today, don't talk about it." Li Siyuan saw that Gao Siji had no intention of leaving the mountain, and thought to himself that "the civil servants say it, and the military general will provoke it", and he is good to General Gao. It is difficult to achieve results by asking for words, so we must skillfully use the method of motivating generals to mobilize them to submit.So, he made up a lie and said: "The throne of the world, the princes of all towns, all heard the name of the general, and they were like thunder, and they were very envious. I fought with Wang Yanzhang and was kicked out of the battle. I said to Wang Yanzhang: 'Come and drive me away now. It is not surprising. You are such a hero, and you have temporarily ceased fighting. I know that Gao Siji, a white horse with an iron gun in Shandong, is a world-class hero. I am invited to fight against you. "Wang Yanzhang saw me boasting in front of the battle The general shouted angrily: "Cut off the war here, and wait for you to invite him to come. If you don't come, let it go. If you come to my Baoji Mountain, see if I don't chop him into meat paste!..." Gao Siji said this Said that he couldn't help being so excited that his heart was on fire, smoke came from his mouth, and he yelled at his servant: "Get ready for the white dragon horse, and wait for me to catch this thief alive!" Then he put on his horse, left home and left the mountain, and galloped away to Baoji Mountain.

Gao Siji and Li Siyuan rushed to the Tang camp day and night, not only the king of Jin was overjoyed, but also the soldiers of the three armies were extremely excited.The next day, Wang Yanzhang came to challenge again. Gao Siji and Wang Yanzhang fought for [-] rounds in a row, and fought until dark.This is the first time that the Tang army has been tied since they left the army. The army's power has been greatly boosted, and everyone is gearing up and preparing to fight again in the future.

The aggressive method is a familiar form of strategy, which can be used not only for oneself, but also for friends and enemies.When aggressively applying the law to oneself, the purpose is to mobilize the passion of the soldiers of one's own side to kill the enemy.When aggressively applying the law to allies, it is mostly because the allies are not determined enough to fight the enemy together.When the method of provoking is used on the enemy, the purpose is to irritate the enemy, make him lose his mind, make wrong moves, and give himself an opportunity to take advantage of.The method of stimulating generals is also the method of "exciting" and "encouraging" and "scratching with anger" mentioned in ancient military books.The former is against oneself and against friends, while the latter is against enemies.

(End of this chapter)