Time has you, memories become flowers

Chapter 7 Phoenix Love (1)
1
Bai Xiao raised her head, and in the huge office room of the general outpatient clinic, her first patient of the day walked straight to her desk.

Bai Xiao asked: "Did you come here for someone else's consultation?"

The man sat on the chair and threw the medical records on the table, "No."

Bai Xiao looked embarrassed, and whispered: "This is the gynecology department."

"Isn't Chinese medicine a holistic concept, based on syndrome differentiation and treatment?"

The colleagues nearby looked towards Bai Xiao, and she quickly lowered her head to look through the medical records, and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Cold, get angry."

"Then I'll give you some cold medicine and medicine for clearing away heat and lowering internal heat."

But the man still reached out his hand, motioning for her to take a pulse.

Bai Xiao: "..." Seeing how handsome he looks, let's go with him.

She thought so boldly in her heart, her face was invariably serious and responsible, her hand touched the man's pulse, and it beat quite forcefully.

"You are in good health."

As Bai Xiao said, he withdrew his hand and prescribed medicine for him, "Go and get the medicine. Just take the medicine according to the instructions. Drink plenty of water and pay attention to rest."

The man got up and asked again before going out: "Do you remember who I am?"

Bai Xiao's head was already lowered so much that his forehead almost touched the table.

The man left directly.

After get off work, Bai Xiao walked out of the hospital gate slowly. Her left leg was injured and she couldn't walk fast. She was about to reach out to hail a taxi, but was taken away by a passing battery car, and she sat down on the ground.The owner of the car turned his head and took a look, then increased his horsepower and drove away.Although Bai Xiao fell in pain, she didn't make a sound.

She is very patient.

Someone came over and grabbed her hand, trying to pull her up.

Bai Xiao looked at the person, blushed, feeling a little ashamed.This is the second time she touched his hand today.

When she came together, she let go of her hand and said thank you.Then she got in the car and left.

The man stood still and watched the taxi she was driving away.

The newspaper vendor on the side of the road said: "Handsome guy, just chase after someone you like, it's useless to just look at him."

"She's my wife."

2
a year ago.

Bai Xiao looked at the person sleeping beside her, and the morning light shone on Li Ruofei's face through the window, she thought to herself, she really likes him.

The two met through a blind date, and she was a little at a loss when she first saw him, and almost broke the coffee cup.She had never been in a relationship before, and even thought about never getting married for the rest of her life, but her friends were always kind enough to help her. Seeing him was her first blind date since she couldn't beat her friends, and it was also the last time.

In fact, before the two met, they had met, almost three years ago, I don't know if he still remembers——

It was deep winter at that time, and he jumped into the river to save someone, but unfortunately the man was suffocated before being dragged up.Many people walking by the river looked around. He was soaked and pale, and he was doing CPR for that person.She watched the crowd for a while, then went up to feel the woman's carotid artery, "It's dead."

That was the first thing she said to him.

And three years later, he said to her, "Let's get married."

The excellent and capable Li Ruofei proposed to the timid and unconfident Bai Xiao.

She was moved to tears, she liked him, she longed for a family.

And she finally had a family again.

In the following days, she maintained their marriage carefully.Although Li Ruofei is reticent, he is gentle and considerate enough.Bai Xiao felt that this was enough happiness, and she hadn't experienced this kind of emotion for a long, long time.

This made her even more unwilling and afraid to tell Li Ruofei the bloody secret in her heart.

And the happier she was, the more she felt that the secret was like a beast with fangs, about to tear her heart apart and crawl out from it.

She was afraid, couldn't sleep well at night, didn't know how to eat delicious food, and was depressed and sad.

She diagnosed herself—depression struck again.

She began to try to divert her attention—bought a bunch of books from the Internet, most of which were chicken soup for the soul, and bought a copy of "Secret Garden" to draw, but she became impatient after not painting for 3 minutes.How can this thing heal people, it makes people even more depressed.

On the day Li Ruofei came back from a business trip, Bai Xiao happened to be on vacation, so she wanted to pick him up, so she drove to the airport on her own initiative.

She leaned against the railing of the exit.The side is full of people, all eagerly waiting for people to come from afar.

Then she saw Li Ruofei, he was dragging the suitcase with one hand, and a woman dragged the other arm, and the two of them came out of it like holding hands.

Bai Xiao was wrapped in a thick coat and stuck in the crowd, but he didn't notice it at all.

She thought to herself: It's over, Chicken Soup for the Soul is all for nothing.

Bai Xiao got out of the crowd, trying to catch up with the person in front, and told him that there was no need to take a taxi, she drove to pick him up.

"I love you...can't you come to lunch with me?" the woman said.

They all say love.

Li Ruofei didn't answer.

Bai Xiao watched them walk out of the airport hall.

She was so frustrated that her mind went blank, until the sound of the car horn brought her back to her mind, and she realized that she was actually standing on the main road at the gate of the airport.

Bai Xiao hurriedly retreated to the side of the road, "Did I chase him out? What if not?" She looked around, but found nothing.

Lost, she imagined the scene of interrogating Li Ruofei in her mind.

If he says it's nothing, it's just the person's wishful thinking.She didn't know if she would believe it or not.

If it is not a misunderstanding, does the marriage of the two of them mean that it is about to end?
After much deliberation and depression, Bai Xiao felt that she needed to see a psychiatrist.

At the same time, she posted a post on a mutual aid forum for depression patients that she often visits like a living horse doctor: My dear one is taken in by others, what should I do?Waiting online, very urgent!
When Bai Xiao got home, he saw Li Ruofei cooking at home.

Li Ruofei was surprised when he saw her, "Are you not going to work today?"

"Well, take a rest." Bai Xiao said, "Go and rest, you must be very tired just after getting off the plane, I'll do it."

Li Ruofei is a bit of a clean freak. When he returns home after working outside, he always has to take a shower first.I'm really hungry now, so I want to cook and eat before washing.

"Well."

Bai Xiao was cutting up the purple cabbage, and slowly lost his mind - didn't eat together, does that mean it's okay?

When she came back to her senses, she found that the knife in her hand had scratched her wrist. She was startled, and quickly threw the knife to the ground.

The wound was not deep, but blood still gushed out continuously.

Li Ruofei, who had just taken a change of clothes, heard the voice and ran over, "What's the matter?" Then he saw the wound on Bai Xiao's wrist, "What's the matter?!"

"Accidentally scratched, it's not serious."

Li Ruofei pulled Bai Xiao's hand under the faucet and rinsed it, then took her to the living room, turned around to get the medicine kit, grabbed her hand to disinfect it.

"I'm a doctor, let me come."

"What do you do with one hand?" Li Ruofei used iodophor to disinfect and bandage her wound.

This familiar suicidal tendency made Bai Xiao a little flustered, so she didn't notice that Li Ruofei was looking deeply at her wound.

After lunch, Li Ruofei was reading materials in the living room, while Bai Xiao was watching TV on the side. She was watching the animation channel, which was showing "Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf" at the moment.It is said on the Internet that discovering more hobbies can treat depression, such as singing, dancing and drawing, and some say that you can watch cartoons, which are funny.

Li Ruofei couldn't help shaking his head watching her staring at the young animation.

I don't know when it was cloudy outside.After reading the information, Li Ruofei found that Bai Xiao had fallen asleep on the sofa wrapped in a blanket.

He carried her into the bed in the room, covered her with a quilt, and saw her wrist wrapped in gauze - such a wound was obviously scratched by himself on purpose.

Li Ruofei sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Bai Xiao.

"If not, there is something I have thought about and decided to tell you. You will know about this kind of thing sooner or later - your girlfriend Bai Xiao, I didn't think of it before because it was more than ten years ago. Yesterday she came to give you a midnight snack. I casually asked if she made it, or was it made by my mother? She said that her mother committed suicide when she was a child. Usually, if a relative is gone, it is enough to say that she died, and she rarely stated. The way of death, plus her name is very special, I just remembered that when I was still in the Criminal Investigation Brigade, I handled a case belonging to your girlfriend's family - she was only in elementary school at the time, and her mother wanted to drown She, pressed her in the bathtub, and as a result, she got the scissors her mother put aside to cut her hair, and stabbed her mother to death. Because her father had already left, and she became an orphan as soon as her mother died. This also led to no relatives in her family willing to take her in, and no one dared to take in someone who killed her own mother. Even if she was out of self-defense or accident. The little girl was in a very bad state at the time, and she kept repeating that It was her fault that she lost her soul without eating or drinking. We found a psychiatrist and gave her psychological counseling. Now she says her mother committed suicide...that's fine.

"I'm telling you this because I don't want you to have conflicts because of her past when you get married. I can see that Bai Xiao is a very nice girl, warm, considerate and not squeamish. Now that she is a doctor, she must pay for it. put in more effort than ordinary people.”

Li Ruofei reached out to touch Bai Xiao's wound.

He thought of her and said that the first time he saw him was by the river, he rescued a woman who was robbed and pushed into the river.

In fact, this is not the first time he saw her. The first time he saw her was earlier. After all, she was still in college at the time, and he happened to be on a business trip to the city where she was studying. He was busy with a case and went to the beach to relax. When she got there, she jumped into the sea.

She said she likes herself.If it was true, how could... after marrying him, still want to die?

Li Ruofei thought about it, and couldn't help but increase the strength in his hand, causing the person on the bed to groan.

He let go of his hand, and said with gritted teeth: "You want to die, but are you still afraid of pain?"

3
As soon as Li Ruofei arrived at the procuratorate, he saw Lu Fei'er, waiting for him with breakfast and coffee.

"I have already eaten."

Lu Fei'er threw the breakfast into the trash can and asked, "What about the coffee? Would you like to drink it?"

Li Ruofei's attitude was alienated and he didn't speak, but it was already very obvious. Lu Fei'er threw the coffee into the trash can and said, "Then I won't disturb your work. I'll come to you at noon." gone.

As soon as Lu Fei'er left, the colleague joked: "Lu Fei'er is also a strange person. We investigated her boyfriend's case before and sent her boyfriend in. She was lucky, but she turned around and looked at Ruo Fei who was following the case. gone."

Another colleague who was not involved with the case asked, "If you weren't married, didn't you tell her?"

"Why didn't you say that. After Miss Lu confessed, if she hadn't said that he was married. Miss Lu said, that's okay, I'll wait for you to get divorced. If you didn't say that, you won't get divorced unless he dies. You say it, and everything comes to this point Now that it's up, Miss Lu still doesn't give up... she would even chase after her if she wasn't on a business trip."

Li Ruofei interrupted them, "Hurry up and get busy."

Everyone stopped gossiping.

Li Ruofei thought of the person at home, and Prosecutor Li, who had always been calm and calm in situations, became agitated for a while.

Bai Xiao took half a day off in the afternoon and finally went to see a psychiatrist.

Looking for a psychiatrist is taboo to find someone she knows, so she avoided her medical circle and found a psychological consultation clinic with a good reputation through the Internet.

When Bai Xiao was lying on the recliner, she thought to herself that she must cure her depression and live a good life.She also had suicidal tendencies before, which was a secret she kept in her heart.But in fact, she doesn't want to die at all, there are so many beautiful things in the world, not to mention, now she has someone she likes so much, why should she die?But sometimes it is really inexplicable that some self-mutilation and suicide actions will be made.

Bai Xiao participated in the psychotherapy very cooperatively.An hour later, the doctor said gently: "Today is fine."

"Thank you."

After confirming with the doctor to come once a week, Bai Xiao left the clinic.

After Bai Xiao left, the psychiatrist fell into deep thought while looking at the medical records.The patient claimed to have depression. According to the patient's oral statement, her mother committed suicide when she was ten years old. Before committing suicide, she attempted to drown her in the bathtub, saying that she would die.Patients are very likely to develop mental illnesses due to childhood experiences.

The doctor recalled the conversation between the two of them a moment ago.

"I was making lunch for my husband, and I was distracted for a while. When I came back to my senses, I found myself holding a knife and trying to cut my pulse..."

"You want to kill yourself?"

"No no, I think I'm crazy. I don't want to die. I...I like my husband very much, and I want to spend my whole life with him."

"So when you came back to your senses, your first reaction when you saw the knife was to be frightened?"

"Yes."

"Has there been such behavior before?"

"Yes... When I was in college, I went to the beach to play. When I woke up, I was in the hospital, and the doctor said I committed suicide by jumping into the sea."

"You don't remember jumping into the sea?"

"I just remember walking by the sea, the sea rushed up and flooded my calf, and I don't remember it later."

"Hmm. Any more?"

"When I was in the orphanage, there were two times. Once, when I wanted to jump off a building, I realized that one foot was already outside; the other time, when I was in high school, I went out to play with my classmates. There was a railway nearby, and my classmates saw I was sitting on the rails, and the train was coming far away, but I didn't see me running away, it was she who pulled me away."

The doctor drew a question mark behind the word "depression" in the notebook, and wrote: dual personality, or multiple personality disorder?
The doctor said to himself: "The main personality wants to live hard, but the secondary personality is extremely negative?"

4
Bai Xiao saw a psychiatrist once, vomited once, and felt a lot more relaxed.

That day, I went to the supermarket to buy a bunch of ingredients, made a table of Li Ruofei's favorite food, opened a bottle of red wine, and propped my jaw, waiting eagerly for Li Ruofei to come home.

As soon as Li Ruofei entered the house, he saw Bai Xiao lying on the dining table. He walked over. The dishes on the table had not been touched, but the bottle of red wine had already bottomed out.

Hearing the voice, Bai Xiao raised his head, stood up staggeringly, looked at Ruofei with a pair of big moist eyes, shyly and boldly said: "Ruofei, my Ruofei." Then he hugged the person, "Today Tonight I want you...hehe."

Li Ruofei looked at her gravely, "Why did you drink so much wine?"

"I don't know..." Bai Xiao's head was dizzy, and he slowly slumped to the ground like a sugar melted by the sun.

Li Ruofei directly picked him up and put him on the sofa. Afterwards, he went to the kitchen to make milk and rice soup for Bai Xiao to hangover.

After Bai Xiao finished drinking the soup, he dragged Li Ruofei to hold on, leaning his face against his neck, kissing and biting.Li Ruofei let her bite, even if it would leave marks that would not fade away for several days.Let’s talk about Li Ruofei, who had a strict family education since he was a child, and worked in the army for many years in his early years, so he was very restrained and self-disciplined, and his stand was firm, but he repeatedly broke the rules for the person in front of him.

He, who never wanted to go on a blind date, agreed to go on a blind date after seeing her photo.

However, he has always held a negative attitude towards the flash marriage, but proposed to her less than half a year after dating her.

Li Ruofei lightly lifted Bai Xiao's chin, making her look up at him.

Bai Xiao's eyes cut water, full of attachment.Li Ruofei lowered his head and kissed her, and when the kiss ended, both of them were out of breath.

At this time, something in Bai Xiao's pocket fell on the floor, and Li Ruofei turned his head to see that it was a box of Valium tablets.When he thought of the bottle of wine she had finished drinking, his eyes turned cold instantly.

Want to die again?

Li Ruofei wanted to strangle her to death directly, so he went to get a wet towel to wipe her face, trying to wake her up so that she could talk.

Bai Xiao looked at Ruofei, confused, thinking about the scene he saw at the airport a few days ago.

She asked sadly: "Have you ever cheated on Hong Xing?"

Li Ruofei looked unhappy, "No."

No?No... Bai Xiao smiled all over her face. If she wanted him to deny it, would she believe it?As a result, he said no, and she believed it instantly.

Bai Xiao suddenly hugged Li Ruofei again, full of admiration.

The heart that was about to be reprimanded softened, "Bai Xiao, as long as you want me to do it, I will do my best. And you, as my wife, I only want you to do one thing for me - accompany me to the old."

Li Ruofei spoke very slowly, Bai Xiao could hear clearly, she nodded her head resolutely, "Yeah!"

"You better do what you say."

When Bai Xiao woke up the next day, the alcohol had subsided and she felt weak all over. She saw that there was no one on the other side of the bed.When she got up and went to the living room, it was empty, but there was breakfast on the dining table.

Bai Xiao was moved, but seeing the time was almost eight o'clock, he rushed into the bathroom to wash up.

(End of this chapter)