Paper rose

Chapter 47 You are a special blank (6)
"I started working in the Propaganda Department of the Provincial Party Committee. Once I went to my father's office for something. He was not there, and the desk drawer happened to be open. I sat down and accidentally saw some photos in the drawer. The photos were A little girl with two small dimples when she smiled, about 20 years old. I was very surprised. My father came in, saw the photo in my hand, was taken aback, and said, did your classmates in the provincial capital talk about friends? Yes, if you have one, introduce it to this little girl. I asked who it was, and he said it was the girl of an old friend of mine, named Bai Yan."

Bai Yan gave a soft "ah" and sat up straight unconsciously.

"At that time, I didn't connect you with Bai Mumei, but I found it very strange that my father was not a meddlesome person. Afterwards, I quietly called my father's secretary out for a drink, and learned from him. Last year, My father went to watch a Yue opera performance and met an old friend named Bai Mumei. Bai Yan was Bai Mumei's daughter. After my father heard about it, he couldn't speak for a long time. During the few days when Bai Mumei performed in the provincial capital, they continued After meeting for a few more times, the father asked the secretary to buy many gifts for Bai Mumei's daughter. I wondered if he regarded her as his daughter at that time, and was in a hurry to show his father's love. Later, he found out that it was not, so he decided to please Bai Mumei , I want to introduce someone to her. This matter has become a knot in my heart. I feel that their mother and daughter are really like lingering flies, flying around our house everywhere."

"I didn't tell my mother about it, but there was a hole in my heart, and I longed for something to fill it. I met Yi Tongtong. That was my first love, but at first, I told her that I would not get married, and she said it didn't matter, and she didn't want to be bound by family and children. But half a year later, her boyfriend came from Shenzhen and stood in front of the Propaganda Department with a barrel of gasoline. I My father suppressed everything, we broke up, and I was transferred to Binjiang."

"In the third year in Binjiang, Yi Tongtong came to Binjiang No. 24 Middle School to teach. I only found out when I visited the school. We are together again, but my heart for her is completely different from before." Kang Jian closed his eyes , took a deep breath, "Later, I was vaccinated against Influenza A. On a very normal day, I took a quarter of an hour to go to the temporary clinic. As soon as I entered, I heard someone shouting Bai Yan. I thought the name sounded familiar. , when I looked up, the little girl in the photo in my father's drawer stood in front of me vividly. My head buzzed at that moment. She comforted my colleague gently, and I stared at her intently. There was nothing in my head. , I reflexively asked Jane to draw our two application forms to her group, and asked Jane to ask for her phone number. At that time, I didn't know what I was going to do, I just thought it was destined by God, let She met me. Our family’s [-] years of bitterness, bitterness, and estrangement are all related to their family, how can she smile so happily?”

"Jianjian got a bad nose, and no one dialed the phone number she sent out. It happened that Secretary Xiao Wu had a cold, so I asked Jianjian to attack again and successfully invited her to dinner. However, I found that she was not easy to get close to. She was lukewarm to me, and tried every means to keep me away. I couldn't wait to say that I wanted to pursue her as my girlfriend, but she rejected me immediately. She even asked me to go to Yun County to investigate her family background I'm surprised that she is so different from Bai Mumei. She is very good at self-protection and knows what is suitable for her. I don't think I can treat you lightly. If this continues, we will become two I can't get close to her anymore, and I can't let her taste the pain I have suffered in these years. I didn't think much, and decided at once, I want to marry her. Once I had this idea, I didn't waver again Yes. I broke up with Yi Tongtong and told her that I was going to get married. She was in great pain and was looking for a life and death. I thought of my mother, worried that Yi Tongtong would do something stupid again, and I also wanted to prove that I was only revenge for Bai Yan before we were with her When I get married, I should have another woman in my heart. The night before the wedding, I... yes, I slept with Yi Tongtong, and that was the last time between us."

"On the night of the wedding, I deliberately gave her a badass to let her know that I didn't care about her. I drove the car to the suburbs by myself and smoked in the car all night. In fact, I was also afraid that I would endure it. I can't help but want to hug her. If I hug her, I will sink and become a stupid man seduced by beauty. I want to suffer, suffer, stay awake, and go down step by step. But, next In those days, I became less and less resistant in front of her. For this reason, I promised Yi Tongtong to meet again. But sitting with Yi Tongtong, her figure was always shaking in front of my eyes. With Yi Tongtong Tongtong sits for a while, I feel like I am suffering. I always take out my mobile phone to see if she has texted me or called me. She has not, I am very lost. I will think of her when I am in a meeting , I can’t help but think of her when I’m at work or on a business trip. Yi Tongtong can’t help me anymore, I broke up with her completely, but that day, I was bumped into by her. That night, I stood in the bedroom with my pillow in my arms At the door, she turned me away. At that time, it was embarrassing, but very happy, and she smirked half the night alone. She also cared about me and was jealous. But in the second half of the night, I was stunned again. What is the situation, how can I have such an idea, everything I have done is contrary to my original intention. I... took my mother from Beijing in a panic, just to prove that I still don’t care about her.”

"But seeing her being humiliated and ignored by her mother and Mrs. Wu, I regret it. I don't want to see her being treated like that. My mother somehow had the idea to meet Bai Mumei. At the dinner table, I saw my mother's Poor, my father's filthiness, Bai Mumei's shamelessness, my heart is like a blood-screaming beast, I can't suppress it anymore, I poured all my hatred on her, and I ruthlessly humiliated her in front of Bai Mumei. Afterwards, I had no face to see her. She formally proposed to me for divorce. When I heard the word divorce, I was in pain, like a certain part of my body was cut off. Only in the severe pain did I understand , I... love her. This love is too playful, I have been hiding, I don’t know it at all, maybe I know it, but I dare not face it. This kind of love gives me strength, I no longer fear marriage, I long to be with her for a long time, to see her smile, tease me, and act like a baby to me..."

Kang Jian's voice was choked with sobs, he stood up, walked towards the bed, then slowly squatted down, and held Bai Yan's hand, "Honey, I have done many stupid things, I am clumsy and shameless, you... ...can you give me a chance to start over?"

"If you didn't fall in love with me, what would you do?" Bai Yan's voice was calm and hoarse.

"If we don't fall in love with you, we are two parallel lines. My wife, don't you know, hating you is just an excuse for the humble and helpless me to get close to you. I have been in love with you for a long, long time. "Kang Jian moved Bai Yan's hand to his lips and kissed it lightly.

Bai Yan withdrew his hand from Kang Jian's palm, and in turn, rubbed against the quilt.

Kang Jian froze there.It was after a fierce psychological struggle that he mustered up the courage to confess everything hidden deep in his heart to Bai Yan.But Bai Yan's reaction made him panic.

She was not excited, not at all, although she was a little surprised, but basically she could be described as calm.

This is like when he practiced running back then, standing on the embankment and throwing stones into the reservoir, with a bang, ripples appeared on the surface of the water, and then everything was over, and everything returned to calm.

It's like giving a woman a very expensive diamond bracelet in real life. You hope that she will make a sound of exclamation and throw herself into your arms with joy, but the other party just smiles back.

You feel that you have promised so much, you have paid the most precious thing, and you have nothing to hide, but the other party doesn't take it seriously.

The more Kang Jian thought about it, the more depressed he felt, the more hopeless he felt, and his heart sank to the bottom.

"Leader Kang," Bai Yan felt that she should not be too silent and should comment on this long narration, "like you, I also feel that parents cannot choose. Everything my mother has done, as her daughter, I I can't gossip, I can only swallow everything in my stomach. You said you fell in love with me, and I know you did it to make me feel better. From falling in love to getting married to now, at least it shows that you are not pure revenge for me, There is also such a little emotion. I am very grateful to the leader for thinking about me, but I don’t want to take it seriously. I remember one day after I asked you to go to Yun County to investigate my life experience, you came to my rented house for the first time one morning, you Said: There is nothing to care about, it’s all in the past. You are my girlfriend, not someone else. Don’t say anything that will affect my future. I already hate being put on by others as the second generation of officials. I have to work hard for my own future. Others can't stop me, and I can't help you. Maybe because of your words, I was moved, so I accepted you. In fact, you said A lie. On the day of your wedding, you left the wedding ring at Yi Tongtong. I endured the pain and lied that you dropped it in the dressing room, and you told me that you would never drop it again. Leader, while you are talking to me Talk about this, and do it behind my back. Do I have to carry a lie detector with me to test which of your words is true and which is false at any time? You are not tired, but I am."

"This kind of thing will never happen again..." Kang Jian sighed, and when he said this, even he felt that he had no credibility.

"Leader, there is no future. Don't talk about whether we have feelings, my mother and your father's affairs are put there, can we still be together? I don't want to use my existence to stimulate your mother. As long as it's not me, as long as you really like it Come on, your mother loves you, and she'll take it with pleasure."

"Only you, there can be no one else." Kang Jian repeated weakly.

Bai Yan smiled faintly, "The world is unpredictable, and people have unlimited potential. Leader, thank you for loving me, but I can't accept it. Go to rest early, you have to go to work tomorrow."

Kang Jian looked at Bai Yan and remained motionless.The distance between her and him was only an arm's length, and he could hold her in his arms as long as he raised his hand.However, he felt that she was out of reach.

Bai Yan lay down slowly, turning his body sideways, with his back facing him.

"Wife, if a person commits a crime, he can be punished by law. I have done a lot of bad things, and you can punish me however you want..." He couldn't open his mouth and said, but can we not get a divorce.

Kang Jian has never studied psychology, but he knows that his psychology is different from others.He is afraid of marriage and does not dare to trust others. He carefully protects himself, lest he be hurt a little.There is no medicine that can cure this kind of psychology.Only relying on another person can make it change.

Before, he didn't believe that this person really existed.

But after Bai Yan appeared, his mentality changed involuntarily.

He has the courage, has a dream.He believed in love and marriage, and longed to have a daughter like Bai Yan with Bai Yan.

Such a picture often appears in his mind: when the spring is warm and the flowers are blooming, he hugs his daughter and Baiyan carries the food basket, and they go to the park for a picnic together.His daughter was playing on the lawn, and he followed behind with a camera to take pictures. Bai Yan put the food in the food basket on the plaid tablecloth one by one, turning his head to look at him and his daughter with a smile from time to time.He noticed her gaze, and turned the camera on her. She was startled. He laughed and ran over, pecking and kissing her delicate soft lips... The sky is so blue, the clouds are so white, the air is so blue. The fragrance of flowers wafts in the air, the laughter of my daughter is in my ears, and the lips of Bai Yan are so beautiful...

This should be called happiness, right?
Before the picture was fully unfolded, Bai Yan's words completely drove him into the hell that would never be restored.

"Really?" Bai Yan turned his head, "Any kind of punishment is fine? You were placed in the party for probation, and your performance was not satisfactory. Now, on behalf of the party and the people, I announce that you will be expelled from the party and will never be hired."

"Honey, but I won't give up easily."

"Leader, that's your business, you don't need to report to me. Good night." In fact, it was already good morning, Bai Yan glanced out the window and there was a faint white light.

Kang Jian closed the window for her, drew the curtains, and walked out of the room lonely.When going down the stairs, I suddenly felt the stars popping up in front of my eyes. If I hadn't instinctively grasped the railing, I would have almost fallen headlong.

Kang Jian was startled and sweated all over.

Standing in the bathroom, seeing his downcast and down-and-out face, he remembered that he hadn't slept for two nights, but there was a meeting this morning, and he had to speak, thinking that Bai Yan was going to the hospital for a reexamination today. Can please be simple.

Kang Jian closed his eyes, wishing that all this was just a dream, and when he opened his eyes, nothing actually happened, how wonderful it would be!
Jian Jian came to pick up Kang Jian in the morning, was startled when he saw bloodshot eyes, and didn't dare to ask.Bai Yan disappeared for eight hours that night, and Kang's mother rushed back to the provincial capital the next day, so he guessed what happened between Kang Jian and Bai Yan.Alas, it's hard for an upright official to break up housework. The leader usually talks loudly on stage, but when he comes home, he is just an ordinary man.

Kang Jian told Jian Jian about Bai Yan's reexamination in the car, and Jian Jian nodded.

Kang Jian drank a large cup of black coffee in the office, braced himself up and went to the venue.After sitting on the stage, I found that Lu Difei was also present.Lu Difei smiled meaningfully at him, and Kang Jian nodded lightly.

Before the meeting started, Kang Jian was reading the speech report when he suddenly received a simple phone call.

"Kang Zhu, I just arrived downstairs at your house. I saw Nurse Bai, Nurse Liu, and a man carrying luggage, big and small, getting into a black car. That's...the one who brought Nurse Bai back that time. License plate. Before I said hello, they drove away. I followed behind, turned and turned, and lost. I went to the hospital immediately, but they did not return to the hospital."

Kang Jian held the phone, his face pale.

The host of the meeting came over and patted him on the shoulder. Seeing that Cong Zhongshan had also arrived, he had to hang up the phone first.

After finishing his speech at the meeting, he left the meeting to call Bai Yan, wanting to find out what was going on.The phone got through, but no one answered.He felt a little distraught and had to go back to the meeting.The meeting is not over yet, his report is finished, and there are still many agendas to be continued, and some leaders of ministries, commissions and bureaus will speak.As an assistant to the mayor, he must still sit upright on the rostrum.

At this time, he didn't care about the impact, so he just kept pressing his cell phone number on the rostrum.Always no answer.

Kang Jian was like an ant on a hot pot, he had no choice but to call Jian Jian and told Jian Jian not to leave the hospital, and kept guarding in the radiology department of the hospital.

After finally waiting for the meeting to end, he rushed out in a hurry. Lu Difei grabbed him and raised his eyebrows at him, "What's the matter, it looks like you can't wait to burn your eyebrows?"

"It's nothing." Kang Jian said, "I have something to do, let's go first."

"Kang Jian, there is only one tail left this summer, find a time, bring Bai Yan, and I will also find a companion, how many of us will go swimming in Jiangxin Island?"

"Let's talk again, let's talk again!" Kang Jian hurriedly ran out of the venue.

Lu Difei shrugged behind him.He played well with the main leaders of the public security department. He heard that Kang Jian's wife went missing one night, and when she was found, she passed out in front of the hospital.After hearing this, he found it interesting, so he called Bai Yan, but the little girl didn't answer.

Strange!
Some days without contact, Lu Difei felt that he really missed the little girl. She was ill, so he should call to see her.

Lu Difei immediately took out his mobile phone, found a quiet corner, and dialed Bai Yan's number.

"Secretary Lu, what's the matter?" Bai Yan's voice sounded very difficult.

"It's okay, I just miss you." Lu Difei curled the corners of his mouth playfully.

Bai Yan breathed a sigh of relief, and smiled, "Thank you, Secretary Lu, for your concern. I still have something to do here, let's talk about it later."

(End of this chapter)