I'm Mrs.

Chapter 108: Heart

"Hey, you kid is still playing with me, right? Who has been feeling sorry for you and ran all the way to take care of you? You said that you are only left with one arm, what will you do in the future? Call me, you are too hurt Damn I miss you..."

I didn't want to listen to the words that came after, so I turned around silently and walked towards my house with that big bag of sugar in my hand. If someone said that about me, I think I would be angry, and I didn't know what I would do.

But my aunt told me that, but I didn't want my elder brother to know that I heard it. I felt very sad and couldn't explain why.

When passing by the door, Xiao Liu was playing there, "Ah! Fourth sister, where did you get so much sugar! Who gave it to you!"

"My elder brother gave it to me."

He ran up to me with eyes full of excitement, "Really, didn't grandma let us go just because she told me, why did you go by yourself, isn't Brother Jiashu special?"

I didn't say much, and stuffed the bag into his hand, "You guys go tomorrow, you go and tell my grandma, I'm going to my uncle's place, and I'll be back in a few days."

"Ah? School is about to start. Have you finished your homework, Sis... Fourth Sister?!"

I didn't answer him, and ran quickly with my legs open, as if as long as I ran with all my strength, I could dissipate the depression and stagnation that had accumulated for several months.

All the way is smooth, find the door, go in——

Until I ran into Uncle's yard, when I saw him watering the vegetable field, I opened my mouth a little bit aggrieved, "Uncle."

The uncle still had a light smile and a carefree look. He only glanced at me, then continued to water the vegetable field without answering.

I didn't want to hide my emotions in front of my uncle. I watched him take a few steps forward, pursed my lips and continued to speak, "Master... I just thought that my aunt didn't like grandma very much. But I didn't expect that my aunt would say that about me behind my back, and that I was a mourner, uncle, my fate is really hard, am I really the loser who killed my second aunt?"

The uncle put the ladle on the stone platform beside him in no hurry, looked at me, pointed to his heart, and said, "Ask yourself, are you?"

"I……"

I shook my head, "No."

The uncle smiled lightly, "Ask again."

I sniffed and shook my head, "No, I'm not."

Uncle nodded, walked out from the vegetable field and looked at me carefully, "A person has a hundred mouths, eats a thousand kinds of food, and the words he speaks will always be pleasant, so you never need to go to others to find what you want. The answer you want to ask is only yourself, if you think you are, then you are, but if you think you are not, you are not, it’s as simple as that.”

"But, after listening to it, I will feel sad and unhappy..."

My uncle touched my head, "Why are you unhappy?"

"Because, what she said is wrong. I... Anyway, she has no evidence. Why should she say that about me without evidence?"

I don't know if what I said was too childish, my uncle laughed softly, "Baosi, since you think what she said is wrong, why do you care?"

I looked at my uncle helplessly, "I don't know, I just feel very uncomfortable and aggrieved."

The uncle let out a sigh of relief, "You have to remember that the sea is open to all rivers, and the big mirror is more than enough to contain everything. If you don't have a strong heart, even an ant can step on your feet and make your feet hurt. You are still too young, and you need sharpening the most." What matters is your heart, and if your heart is strong, you won't care about some words."

I looked at my uncle with half understanding, "Is it because I don't care about this when I grow up?"

"There's still a long way to go..."

Uncle took my hand and entered the room, "Uncle knows that you came to see me not just because you feel wronged today, right?"

I followed my uncle and lowered my eyes sullenly, "Uncle, I'm afraid I'm too stupid, and I won't be able to be a great gentleman in the future."

Uncle smiled and shook his head. After entering the room, he poured a cup of tea and sat on a chair, watching me drink lightly, "You mean you are stupid?"

I still lowered my eyes and nodded, "Well, I'm stupid."

The uncle gently shook the teacup in his hand, "Then you may not be the Bao Si I know, the Bao Si I know is a quirky little girl, she is not only lively and intelligent, but also very courageous, you You know, when she realizes that she has been deceived, she dares to vent her anger in the dead man's ditch, tell me, isn't she very powerful?"

I looked up at my uncle in surprise, "You, you know?"

The uncle looked at me with great joy, "Of course I know, I just want to see, Baosi, if it's the one she said...well, stupid girl."

I scratched my head and looked at my uncle, "I thought, I thought you...then you know that Beixian was fooling me in my dream, right? So you remind me!"

The uncle still smiled, "I just want to see if Bao Si really doesn't want to be a husband."

"I, it's not that I don't want to do it, I'm just afraid that I won't learn it."

I looked at my uncle seriously and said what was in my heart, "But after I was cheated by that Beixian once, I didn't want to be a gentleman at all. I have to be a gentleman, and I want to be a great Mr. , In this way, I can protect my family and help more people.”

The uncle nodded, "Since you have made up your mind, why are you still afraid that you won't be a good teacher?"

"Because I'm afraid I won't be able to be Mr. Big!"

I was a little anxious to express my point of view, "That Beixian is very powerful, grandma said, she didn't even know what that Beixian was capable of, so I'm afraid I won't be able to beat that Beixian in the future if I'm not very good!! "

The uncle didn't say much, but pointed to his heart, "In the future, when you encounter this kind of problem, you don't need to ask anyone, you just need to ask yourself, if you think you can, you can, understand? .”

"But... Uncle, I don't understand why I have to cry to gain understanding and water my roots of wisdom. I hate crying, and I don't want to cry..."

Uncle looked at me and shook his head slightly, "The enlightenment you are talking about is just some enlightenment given to you by Taoism, so that you can learn how to be a teacher, not real enlightenment, you have to remember, A real gentleman can understand the seven emotions and the eight sufferings. Only after the vicissitudes of life have passed can he understand life itself. He feels that loss is meaningless and he knows peace. This is also the reason why many obsessive people can only realize it after death. Once born, he is limited by the white tiger star, and he doesn't know pain, sorrow, and fear, so how can he be a gentleman?

Bao Si, remember, your crying is not to make you cry, but to let you understand the emotions and sorrows, and only in this way can you be a gentleman. For example, you used to be very courageous , I don’t know fear, but how do you feel when someone tells you that you are afraid of sneaky things? "

I looked at my uncle in a half-conscious way, "I just don't know what they are afraid of, it feels very, very..."

"Ridiculous, isn't it?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

The uncle continued to speak patiently, "Then now."

"Now……"

I remembered the thing that came to my house that night to hook Uncle Shen's soul, "I'm also a little scared, they are all different, there are many scary ones, and they have charming eyes, which make people..."

"Then if I tell you that they are all outside now and let you go out, will you?"

I shook my head, "No, Hun'er will be taken away."

The uncle laughed, "But you are a gentleman, what will you do if someone comes to you to deal with this problem? You used to be very courageous, but you just rushed out."

"Then I also want to see what kind of thing it is, otherwise I will be..."

As I said that, I seemed to understand what uncle meant, "Uncle, I understand that being a gentleman is to help others. If you don't understand anything, you will definitely not know how deep it is. Not only will you not be able to help others, but you will also harm yourself. ."

The uncle nodded, got up and took out a box from a cabinet. The box was a bit big, but I had never seen the uncle take it out before. I looked at it carefully until the uncle opened it in front of me. Somewhat dazed, "Master Uncle, why is there a straw man in here?"

It was a small straw man, only the size of a palm, with a red thread tied around his neck and a long needle stuck in the back. My uncle looked at me and smiled, took out the straw man and put a piece of paper in the box. I took it out, the piece of paper was not small, it could be as long as my arm when unfolded, it was full of pictures, there were mountains, trees and houses, I looked carefully, my eyes gradually widened, "Ah, this is our Village, Baishan Village!" As I spoke, I pointed to a house on the picture, "This is my home!"

Then I searched in the direction of my house, and laughed when I saw a place full of earthen bumps, "Uncle, this is a dead man's ditch, but the painting doesn't look like it..."

The uncle pointed at the little straw man in a gentle tone, "Then do you know who this is?"

I shook my head, "I don't know, who is it?"

The uncle didn't speak, just drew a talisman that I couldn't understand, lit it and circled it three times around the straw man, then closed his eyes and muttered silently with his upper and lower lips, then opened his eyes, bit his middle finger and pointed it at the position on the grass man's head One point, "Get up!"

The straw man stood up immediately, and quickly moved on the paper and stood still at a portrait similar to a mountain.

I was stunned, looking straight at the straw man, "It's still working, it's still moving."

The uncle smiled kindly, "You jump up."

"what?"

Although I didn't understand, I jumped on the spot, and at the same time, the straw man jumped too!
"Ah! It, it learned from me..."

I looked at the straw man in shock, and jumped up and down, but that straw man also jumped around on the paper like a little crazy person. I refused to accept it and walked back and forth, and the straw man followed me back and forth. Lie down on the spot, that straw man also lay dead on the spot as if he had been hanged...

"Uncle, it, how come it moves exactly like mine."

Uncle motioned for me to get up, and pointed to the location on the paper, "Look, which mountain is this, and where is the little house on it?"

I carefully watched the straw man also get up with me, and slowly moved on the paper, "Below is the dead man's ditch, and then...up, it is your place!!"

"so what……"

I gasped and pointed at the straw man, "Is this me?"

The uncle raised his eyebrows, "Otherwise, how would I know what you have done? Could it be that the uncle did the calculations at home?"

"Wow……"

I looked at the straw man shaking his head in disbelief, and the straw man shook his head and shook his head, "It's amazing, my uncle is amazing, then, that straw man, no, why is there a needle in the back of my neck... ..."

My uncle didn't say much, but when I was concentrating on looking at the straw man, I reached out and touched my neck again. I grinned, and saw the straw man collapsed as if suddenly lost its spirituality...

"Hey, it's down, uncle, it..."

I stretched out my hand to rub my uncle, but I saw a grass thorn as long as a fingernail on my uncle's fingertips, "What is this?"

The uncle looked at me and said, "I played this for you when you were going to school. I don't know if you remember. At that time, you needed to go to school. The uncle did this because he was afraid that you would be in school." Make trouble."

I opened my eyes wide, "Ah, I remembered, when my grandma picked me up for the first time when I came here, the back of my neck suddenly hurt. Uncle, you gave me a thorn?"

Now that I think about it, I thought that something in my uncle's hand had pricked me. It turned out to be this one. No wonder the back of my neck hurts when I can't sit still. It's all due to this grass thorn!

There was no unnecessary expression on the uncle's face, he just picked up the straw man and pulled out the long needle on the back, "This is a Taoist magic technique. To put it bluntly, this straw man was made by me. It consists of a total of 36 grass sections, each section is your body, your person, the prose of the method needs to be read, open your body, open your face, open your eyes to see clearly open your ears to listen to the world , you were born in the same year, the same month and the same day as someone, your head is to raise money, your feet are to kick the burden, if you want to punish the mountain, if you want to conquer the sea, you have to kill the big tree, there is no punishment and no body to protect , I receive the order of the Supreme Lord, and the divine soldiers are as urgent as the law."

Then, the uncle looked at me, "Then, just take some blood from your fingertips with this needle, stick it to the back of the straw man's neck, tie it with a red thread, and then implant the grass thorns on the straw man's fingertips. Your neck, while you are this straw man, this straw man is also you, understand."

I stared blankly at my uncle, "Are you afraid that I will be disobedient, so you made me?"

The uncle sighed softly, "Bao Si, in fact, my uncle doesn't like to do such a thing, because this technique is contemptible in the eyes of righteous people, and only crooked people like it, but your grandma is really afraid of you. If you cause trouble, my uncle will definitely keep an eye on you, so I made a straw man, in case you make trouble and make your grandma feel sad."

I opened my mouth, "Then why, let me know now..."

If my uncle doesn’t talk about it for a day, then I won’t know about it for a day. Even if it happened in the stories about those gentlemen that my uncle told, I wouldn’t have thought of it for a while, and I didn’t cry so many times. Can't remember those things.

Although I felt miraculous for a while, and later felt uncomfortable that everything I did could be known by others, and I didn’t feel comfortable about having no privacy, but now I think about it carefully. It's for my own good. He's afraid that I won't be able to sit still in school, and I'll get into trouble. I can understand him, and I won't be angry with my uncle.

The uncle touched my head, "Because your mind is settled, since you are determined to be a good teacher and understand good and evil, then I don't need to use this straw man to restrain you."

After finishing speaking, the uncle bent down and took a clay pot, lit the fire, threw the straw man and the drawing into it and burned it, "Bao Si, as an elder, I am very afraid that you will take detours and suffer hardships in the future, but as a Your master, I think, what I can do is to teach you spells and educate you to be a human being. Everything in the future, whether it is suffering or difficulty, is a calamity that you must overcome. All choices are up to you as a teacher. Here you are, no interference, no cause of suffering, all the teacher asks of you is to hope that you can do good with one thought, and keep conscience in your heart, so that you will be satisfied as a teacher."

I looked at the burnt straw man and the big blueprint, and my neck felt more relaxed than ever before, and said, "Uncle, are you not afraid that I will do something wrong in the future?"

The uncle smiled meaninglessly, "Why is it right when there is nothing wrong, telling you the truth will only shackle you and make you more restrained in the future, which will only increase your pain. Good and evil, and the rest of the road, as a teacher, I leave it to you.

Mr. needs to cross the catastrophe to rise up, and those who become masters will have a hard life. If you read the vicissitudes of the world, you will naturally cry when you laugh. Everything should follow the trend. Uncle believes in Baosi's own choice. "

I still nodded with half understanding, "That is, in the future, if I have anything to do, I will ask my own heart, as long as it is based on kind thoughts, it will be right."

Uncle patted me on the shoulder, as if he was talking to me, and also as if he was talking to himself, "There is no kindness or disgusting body, there is goodness and maliciousness, knowing the good and knowing the evil is conscience, and doing good and eliminating evil is conscience." Gewu."

……

Regarding the last four sentences my uncle said to me at that time, in fact, I didn't understand them, but I vaguely knew that what my uncle asked of me was just two words, good and evil.

It was because I strengthened my determination to be a husband and understood some simple principles of good and evil that my uncle took out the thorn on the back of my neck, because he said that he really didn’t like doing this. In fact, this thorn He was supposed to take it out after I cried, but he didn't move because of my hesitation.

Now that I have made up my mind, he will not use a blade of grass to influence my own actions, and leave everything to me. As he said, he is only responsible for teaching me skills and educating my conscience, road, and myself go for a walk.

Actually, I think my uncle doesn’t like to interfere with me even if he doesn’t take out the grass thorn. At least I know that he can control me, and he can let me do whatever he wants. I have thought about it for a long time, and probably can I am sure that when my uncle controls me, it will make the back of my neck hurt, as if there is a thread tied to me. Of course, this must be the credit of the red thread on the neck of the straw man, but besides making me sit on my buttocks in school When I can't stop, I just sit still. At other times, I am allowed to develop freely.

Although I feel that the grass thorn my uncle planted hurts me a lot, but from a practical point of view, if he doesn’t, the school will treat me like a execution ground. I don't know what kind of trouble will come out.

And the most important thing is that he didn't let this grass thorn stay on the back of my neck for many years. He took out the grass thorn when I ignorantly understood some responsibilities and the need for self-discipline, although I knew he He planted grass thorns on me, but his action not only didn't make me feel uncomfortable, but on the contrary, he understood my uncle's painstaking care for me better.

Although I am still young, I am old enough for me to understand any reason and have my own thoughts. To be honest, since my uncle accepted me as a disciple, although his education mode has always been "loose" But I am also a little afraid that one day my uncle will prohibit me from doing something while teaching me some principles of life like a grandmother or a teacher.

It's like grandma doesn't like me being with Lu Xingyue. She doesn't say it directly, but that kind of oblique reminder makes me nervous. I don't know why I can't get in touch with Lu Xingyue, but I'm afraid that my grandma will be unhappy if I disobey her, so I choose to hide my feelings, try my best to look like my grandma is satisfied but I can't really hate Lu Xingyue.

And the teacher didn’t talk about it, what she often talked about was that if you don’t study, you will be scum in the future. I don’t understand. I want to ask the teacher why you will become scum if you don’t study. Is learning linked to ideology and morality? It's the same for some people who learn to become scum.

Of course, there are always countless questions at my age, but few people can give me real answers.

If you are impatient to ask, adults will always say, 'I am doing it for your own good'!
Just these five words, while restraining you, they cannot give you a reason to accept the restraint with peace of mind. It is unreasonable, just like all the rules in the world are stipulated by their adults, and you have to do whatever they tell you to do. If they say it’s not good, it’s not good. If you break the rules, you’re not following the rules and you’ll be punished.

In fact, I know what is good and what is bad, but when I have not come into contact with something that can even be said to be illusory, I don't like who sets the rules for me in advance.

For example, the teacher said that it is useless if he fails to enter the university, and the second uncle said that he should stay away from Lu Xingyue just because I am a girl, these cannot stand scrutiny.

Am I really a waste if I don't get into university? When Lu Xingyue bullied me at first, I would naturally stay away from him, but he stopped bullying me and treated me well. Can we still be friends?

The heart will be very tired, and these frames that have been with me since I was born sometimes really make people feel tired.

Therefore, when the uncle said that all the choices are left to me, and he will not restrict me, I feel relaxed, as if I can suddenly spit out a held breath. I know that the uncle is just I hope that I will be a good person. I will walk and choose the rest of the way by myself.

My uncle said that when a fortune teller makes his debut, what he most wants to prove is accuracy, and this accuracy depends on his mouth that keeps saying it, but how to judge his realm depends on how he is. When you understand the truth of 'not to say'.

Of course, the word "realm" is too far away for me. What I'm glad is that I will be my uncle's apprentice, even if he sometimes looks at me and sighs, saying that he feels sorry for me, but from the perspective of my master, While he educates me, he does not restrict me, does not restrict me.

I think, in the eyes of my uncle, I am now equivalent to a baby bird. He taught me how to take off and how to hunt for prey, until my wings are full. He is letting me fly by myself. He will not remind me on purpose. Where will I have an eagle's nest, where will I have a hunter's muzzle, whether it is a blessing or a curse, it all depends on the choice in my heart.

As he said, there is no gentleman who does not need to cross the catastrophe. Whether he can climb high and look far, or give up halfway, everything depends on his own good fortune.

That's right, I am myself, what I need to do is to tell myself that in the future, I will fly bravely and work hard, and do it with my round arms, and I must never give up halfway because I insult my uncle's reputation!

……

(End of this chapter)