Marriage Crisis: Lonely Apricot Blossom

Chapter 22 Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting (2)
At that time, she frantically looked for him, but he didn't show up.

Later, her mood gradually calmed down, and she asked herself, why did she want to find him?
Does she still love him?Maybe.

Does she still want to go back to the past?She doesn't know.

The past is a double-edged sword, with sweetness and pain. She misses those beautiful fragments, but she can't bear the tearing pain that is still as new. It's better to lock it in the memory and let time slowly wear its sharp edge dull.

She gradually understood that she wanted to find him so eagerly just to tell him that she forgave him.

She thought of his haggardness during the divorce, the little things he did to come to Hangzhou for her, and the stern reprimand she gave him before parting, all of which, now in retrospect, made her feel extraordinarily guilty.

She really shouldn't treat him so harshly. Of course, he was responsible for their past, but why not her.

Without communication, she insisted on killing the child, which not only hurt him, but also hurt herself. The unspeakable pain continues to this day.

If she had matured a bit back then and hadn't taken such drastic measures, then even if they still divorced in the end, she wouldn't regret it as much as she does now.

The past is like smoke, so don't mention it.

In any case, she is willing to forgive him, just like forgiving herself when she was young.

But forgiveness does not mean forgetting.

Before Yan Minglin left Hangzhou, Yan Jia thought about it, and solemnly told him, "If you see him again, please tell him, I... have forgiven him."

When she uttered a very calm sentence from her mouth, it was accompanied by a burst of warmth and relaxation.

Strictly clear, he smiled at her in relief.

The wedding of Aju and Tang Bo is scheduled for the lively May, and Yan Jia goes to the wedding banquet without hesitation, and even chats happily with her former colleagues.

Yan Jia looked at Aju, who was all dressed up and smiling happily, and couldn't help but admire her eyes.

Although the single life is so easy that there is no burden, but it is often unavoidable to be lonely. For this reason, Yan Jia even signed up for a piano course - she also learned it for a while when she was a child, but because it was too hard, her mother was reluctant. It didn't take long. Then I gave up - not for anything else, just to resolve the lingering loneliness when I was alone.

After going around for so long, Yan Jia suddenly discovered that what she desires most in her heart is actually a perfect family, a warm harbor where she can stop and shelter from wind and rain, just like what Zhenqian gave her from the front .

No, it's a little bit different.

In her marriage, the two of them didn't really know each other. It was like there was always a layer of foggy frosted glass. She couldn't see through his thoughts, but he always felt that she was very simple, simple enough to be like a child. Come to coax.

Looking back and thinking about it, it seems inevitable that they came to this point in such an ignorant state.

What would their lives have been like if Huamei hadn't appeared?

Maybe, she is still dissatisfied with his eternal peace and stability, but he will probably still save a place for his first love somewhere in his heart, and cherish it silently.

Then, one day, at some point, they will explode for some other reason.

Thinking of this, Yan Jia felt that Hua Mei's appearance was not entirely a bad thing.At least she broke the layer of frosted glass that had always existed between them, allowing them to finally look at each other naked and see each other clearly.

Although, this price is too heavy.

Aju became pregnant within two months of her marriage. Tang Bo worked overtime every three days in order to earn money for milk powder. Aju took the opportunity to call Yan Jia to accompany her.

Apart from going to work, Yan Jia has nothing to do, so she is happy to come here every evening to chat with friends, and finally she doesn't have to eat dinner alone.

Aju had a severe pregnancy reaction, she vomited until dizzy, and when she came out of the bathroom tremblingly, she saw Yan Jia refreshed and refreshed. Under the circumstances, a huge psychological gap immediately formed.

"No, no! How can you, a single woman, live such a chic and happy life! It really makes me psychologically unbalanced! You lack worldly troubles now, and I have to find them for you! I must find you a man, or you will let me How am I going to live this day!"

Yan Jia couldn't laugh or cry, "Aju, even if you tell the truth, you don't have to speak so confidently! Who is happier between us, you know better than me."

Aju laughed, "So, you still understand! Yan Jia, since you have let go of the past, why don't you try to start over?"

This time, Yan Jia did not refuse, because she really wanted to work hard. Happiness does not come just by waiting.

Within a week, under Aju's arrangement, Yan Jia sat in an elegant tea room.

The other party was a lawyer, fair and gentle, with a pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose, always smiling.

According to Aju's information, the person's surname is Cai, male, 33 years old, master of law, and has no marriage history.

After the two exchanged pleasantries, Lawyer Cai resolutely cut to the chase.

"Miss Yan is not a local, is she?"

"Yeah. I'm from S city."

"What is xx company doing now?"

"administrative."

"29 this year?"

"Correct."

"It doesn't look like it, it's still very young!"

"Thank you."

"Divorced?"

"Ah."

"Can you tell me why?"

"..."

The whole process was as fast as a tribunal. Lawyer Cai investigated Yan Jia's background thoroughly, and because of this, his evaluation value in Yan Jia's heart dropped to freezing point.

Not long after, Yan Jia met Aju again, and the two analyzed the reasons for the failure of the blind date.

Aju was still puzzled, "Is there anything wrong with being direct? Since it's a blind date, of course we have to figure out the basic situation of the two people. Do you know what the advantages of a blind date are? Of course, you can understand it as quickly as possible." Here comes the most important information..."

"Then, don't you need feelings at all?" Yan Jia strongly disagreed, "He asked me like a prisoner, do you think I can have a good impression of him?"

"Oh, you are a sensory pie..."

Aju introduced five groups of people to Yan Jia one after another, and she went to see them all with all her heart, and all of them were destined to fall from the horse.

Aju spread her hands to Yan Jia helplessly, "Sister, I am at the end of my rope. I have already sold all the good men I can introduce to you. Why are you not satisfied with any of them?"

Yan Jia stroked her forehead and thought, "I don't feel it."

"The feeling is cultivated slowly! How can you pull people out and kill them as soon as you see them? There are not enough people for you to choose! To put it bluntly, you are almost thirty, and you will spend more time." , the conditions of the people you can choose from will only get worse and worse!"

Yan Jia retorted seriously, "It's because I'm almost thirty, and because I had a failed marriage before, that I have to be extra cautious. You can't make the same mistake twice. I'd rather be deficient than excessive."

In the evening, Aju told Tang Bo what Yan Jia had said, and he laughed aloud, "The reason is quite grandiose, but it seems very simple to me."

"what?"

"She hasn't forgotten the past."

Like it or not, Yan Jia's 30th birthday is approaching her at a leisurely pace.

In the past two years in Hangzhou, she got along best with the group of peers in the company who had no plans for the city. Because of the relationship between Aju and Tang Bo, they would occasionally invite Yan Jia when they came out to parties, so everyone kept on and off. Connected.

This time she celebrates her birthday, Aju said that she wants to find her old colleagues to come out to celebrate her well, Yan Jia actually doesn’t really think about it, birthdays are one year older, it’s really nothing to celebrate, but Aju can’t help it The enthusiasm of her is up to her.

Her birthday happened to be on the weekend, so the birthday party was scheduled for noon. Aju said that she had invited six or seven people, including themselves, and they could almost sit at a table to make it lively.

Yan Jia originally agreed with Aju to wait for her and Tang Bo to come over at home, and then the three of them went to the restaurant together, but unexpectedly received a call from Aju early in the morning, asking her to go there by herself.

"Go early, 10:30, I have a gift for you." Aju said in a mysterious tone on the phone.

"Ah? There are gifts!" Yan Jia was curious, "What is it? Why do you have to go early?"

"You'll know after you've seen it! Keep it a secret first." After a pause, Aju asked again: "Yan Jia, you're not particularly picky about presents, are you? If you give them inappropriately, you can't blame me instead! "

"No way!" Yan Jia said with a smile, "I'm very happy if you have such a heart, it doesn't matter what you give!"

"I'm relieved that you say that."

When the time came, Yan Jia went to the restaurant ahead of schedule, asked the waiter at the door to report the name of the person who made the reservation, Aju, and the other party looked up at her, "Are you Miss Yan?"

"Correct."

"Okay, please come with me."

Yan Jia followed the waiter and walked towards the private room. The girl didn't speak, but she seemed to be aware of Aju's "trick", Yan Jia couldn't help but muttered, "Is there any gift, Miss Ge told you ever?"

"Gifts? Oh, yes, she did."

The waiter stopped at the door of a box, and when he turned around, his eyes were full of smiles, and he politely said to Yan Jia: "Miss Yan, he is waiting for you inside."

"Her? Who is she?" Yan Jia became more and more confused about the situation.

But the waiter just pursed his lips and nodded to her with a smile, turned around and left without saying anything.

Yan Jia frowned and knocked on the door twice, and there was a sound of "please come in" from inside, which seemed to be a male voice.

She pushed open the door, did not take a step immediately, and looked inside cautiously.

It was not a small private room, with dark red wallpaper, and the light poured in from the window that occupied half of the wall, making it a bit dazzling.

There is a large round table in the middle of the box, and a small table and a pair of fabric sofas are placed under the window opposite the round table. In addition, there are some other decorations in the box, such as floor lamps and decorations, but Yan Jia is not interested at all. His eyes were completely attracted by the back of a man standing by the window.

He has a tall and straight figure, neither fat nor thin, and can stand completely still, like a sculpture, which looks familiar no matter how you look at it.

Yan Jia's breathing suddenly became irregular. Of course, she recognized who this unique figure belonged to, but he appeared at this time and on such an occasion, which she never expected.

Fang Zhenqian turned around by the window, with a half smile on his face, making it hard to figure out what he was thinking.

"Yan Jia." He raised his voice to call her.

As if being pushed suddenly, Yan Jia came back to her senses, with a hasty smile on her face, "Why is it you? What a coincidence."

"Are you safe? Come in and sit down." Yan Jia was at a loss for what to do with his indifferent attitude. She hesitated a little at the door, but stepped in anyway.

When he was seated, Fang Zhenqian explained naturally, "I came to Hangzhou to discuss things, and I just met Aju and heard about your recent situation. I was supposed to leave today, but suddenly remembered that it was your birthday, so I entrusted you She helps and wants to meet you."

Then, he looked at her, "I hope you don't find it too abrupt."

There was a pot of tea on the small table, Fang Zhengan got up and filled a cup for her.

"You want to see me, why don't you call me directly?" Yan Jia tried her best to conceal the shock in her heart, and her tone was suppressed to a calm level.

"I'm afraid you will refuse."

His direct words left her speechless.

Thinking back to the last parting, both of them were a little silent.

Yan Jia took a sip of tea, put down the cup, and finally a smile appeared on her lips, "How are you doing recently?"

"As usual, what about you? Or...alone?"

"I'm fine." Yan Jia shrugged, trying to appear more relaxed, "Oh, Aju arranged a blind date for me not long ago, and two of them felt pretty good."

"Really?" Fang Zhenqian smiled, "But Aju said you slipped away before finishing your tea."

Yan Jia paused for a while holding the cup in mid-air, secretly annoyed at Aju's big mouth, and refused to cover her long face at all.

"You can't force this kind of thing, you can only take it slowly." She turned the defense into an offense, "How are you? Have you considered finding someone to start over?"

"Yes." Fang Zhenqian raised his eyebrows, and answered simply, "To completely forget the past, you must start over."

The smile on her face was a little stiff for a while, Yan Jia felt it herself, she tried to adjust, spread the smile wider, trying to cover up the incongruity.

Her current mood is very unpleasant.

"That's right, then you have to be careful this time, don't be the same as before..." Halfway through the incoherent speech, he got stuck again, as if something was wrong, he hurriedly turned around, "What kind of person is he? Does it... look good?"

"So-so."

"What about your temper?"

"It's not too bad."

Yan Jia laughed, "Your requirements are really low now."

Fang Zhenqian also smiled at her, held the cup in his hand, but didn't drink it, and turned it slowly in his palm, "I can't help it, I like it, I can only accept my fate."

Yan Jia was even more upset, she sat there dryly, and suddenly she didn't even have the enthusiasm for perfunctory.

She drank a cup of tea and poured another cup herself. After drinking it all, she put it down heavily, and the mask of disguise was also removed at the same time.

"You came to me just to talk about this?"

Fang Zhenqian was startled by her sudden cold tone, he glanced up at her in surprise, and put down the teacup in his hand.

"Yan Jia, I actually..."

Yan Jia had already stood up, "I've already drank the tea you invited, and I can almost hear what you have to say. Sorry, I'm leaving first."

She originally wanted to be more generous, and thought she could do it, but seeing Fang Zhenqian talking about his "new love" with her so calmly and calmly, she was so angry that she didn't know what to do.

Fang Zhenqian stopped her in time before she opened the door - he grabbed one of her hands, preventing her from reaching the doorknob smoothly.

"What are you doing!" Yan Jia looked back at him angrily.

"There is still a sentence left."

"I do not want to hear!"

Fang Zhenqian let go of her, and Yan Jia rushed up to grab the doorknob, but didn't open it right away, as if something had hit her head violently, and she suddenly woke up.

With her hands hanging down softly, she turned around with an almost frustrated expression, "I'm sorry, I have no reason to lose my temper with you."

Fang Zhenqian approached her slowly, his eyes were gentle, a crimson velvet box lay in his palm, and he handed it directly to her, "You forgot to accept your birthday present."

"What is it?" She didn't reach for it, but asked back without enthusiasm.

He slowly opened the lid for her, and what stood inside was a delicate and delicate diamond ring for women, with the silver light shining, it hurt Yan Jia's eyes a little.

"What do you mean?" she asked, frowning.

"I really want to start over," Fang Zhenqian held one of her hands, without turning his eyes for a moment, "but that person must be you."

Yan Jia was stunned for a moment, and there was a sore heat in her breath, she turned her face away abruptly, "I can't start over with you...I can't forget the past."

Fang Zhenqian's strength in holding her hand deepened a little. This heavy weight seemed to have been pressing on each other's hearts since they separated, and they had never been really relaxed.

"I remember the day we got married, I took you from your father, and when I took your hand and walked to the stage, I said to myself in my heart, this girl, I will take good care of her for the rest of my life... Unfortunately, I I forgot it as I walked, and when I remembered it, you were no longer by my side."

Thinking of those things in the past, Yan Jia couldn't stop crying.

"Jiajia, you asked your brother to tell me that you forgive me...but I can't forgive myself unless——I can still fulfill the vow I made."

"Are you forcing me?" Yan Jia asked bitterly with tears in her eyes.

"No, if you could find your happiness after we parted, I wouldn't come to you again, but you didn't... You've always had a knot in your heart, and I tied the knot, so I thought, maybe I can try again , help you untie it."

He gently pulled Yan Jia, who was sobbing, closer, "I know you are suffering from those things in the past. After thinking about it, there is probably only one way to get rid of them."

Yan Jia held back her sobs and listened to him silently.

"Overwrite them with our future happiness——Jia Jia, I will treat you twice as well in the future, and we will live a happier life than before."

Yan Jia sobbed, and finally threw herself into Fang Zhenqian's arms as if surrendering, as if returning to the long-lost harbor in her dream. The warmth here has not changed, and the smell here has not changed a little.

She finally understood that the reason why she rejected those people at the blind date again and again was not because they were bad, but because she was still greedy for Fang Zhenqian's embrace. Perhaps subconsciously, she had been waiting for him, waiting for him to be brave again , Waiting for him to give them both another chance.

Fang Zhenqian hugged Yan Jia tightly, and his hand was still firmly holding her hand, just like when he pulled her to the center of the stage at the wedding, but at this moment, there was more intense happiness in his heart than at the wedding taste.

He understood that in this life, he would never let go of these hands again.

The door of the box was suddenly pushed open with a "crash", and Aju and several other familiar faces appeared in front of the two of them at the same time.

"Yan Jia!" Aju yelled with a smile, "Are you satisfied with the gift we carefully prepared?"

There were still tears on Yan Jia's face, she wiped it carelessly, her face was flushed, and she wanted to give Aju a hard look, but she grinned and laughed instead.

Colleagues rushed in, and the fireworks tubes that had been prepared for a long time burst open, and the colorful stripes filled the sky like a rainbow, overwhelming Yan Jia and Fang Zhenqian...

(End of this chapter)