let me look at you

Chapter 100 They are finally reunited as a family

It was either her or herself. Ju Nian knew very early on that it was a calamity in fate, and they were all in this calamity. Now it seems that at least one of them was happy. Those years could not be turned back, but at least there was none. Completely wasted.

Ju Nian was still Feiming's guardian. Before the formal procedures were completed, she obtained Chen Jiejie's consent and signed Feiming's consent form for surgery in the doctor's office.The doctor also explained to them quite clearly about the risks of the operation and the possible sequelae.The operation may be successful, or it may end Feiming's life immediately. Even if it goes well, she may be left with various sequelae. In addition to blindness, she may also have difficulty moving, or even paralyzed and mentally impaired.These are all possible, and there is only one thing that is certain, that is, no matter what happens, Feiming will never be a healthy and normal person again.

Chen Jiejie said: "I don't care. If she really can't make it through, I will accompany her to the last moment. Even if she is disabled or becomes a vegetable, as long as she has a breath, I will guard her."

Like Ju Nian, she has witnessed death. The person she loves, even if he is no longer complete, as long as he is alive, as long as he can touch his face, it is better than the regret of being separated forever.

Surgery was scheduled six days later.Under Feiming's repeated requests, Chen Jiejie decided to take her out of the hospital on the fifth day of the fifth day of the lunar new year to visit her biological father, Wu Yu's grave.There was no real obstacle from the hospital, because everyone knew that even if she went, she wouldn't be able to see anything, but this might be her last wish and her last chance.

Chen Jiejie didn't know where Wu Yu was buried, so Ju Nian had to lead the way, and it was difficult to move around because of his limited vision, so Han Shu was also in the group.

In fact, Ju Nian had never been to Wu Yu's grave since she found the tomb once after she was released from prison. She has always refused to believe that Wu Yu died and was buried under a pile of loess.This time, maybe Han Shu had broken her fantasy, and she was calmer along the way.

Although she hadn't been here for many years, the place was still the same, and Ju Nian kept avoiding it, but she found that she still remembered the details of every path.It was raining lightly that day, and it was very inconvenient to travel. The distance they had to walk was not too far, but they walked for a long time.

Arriving in front of Wu Yu's grave, as expected, the place was already covered with weeds. If you didn't pay attention, you would have no way of noticing that there was a barren mound under the pile of weeds.Standing on the withered grass, Ju Nian left the position to Chen Jiejie's mother and daughter, and he didn't get too close.It was a strange feeling that no matter how familiar he was with someone close to him, his grave was as strange and cold as ever.She couldn't even sigh, the little monk in her heart had never been able to connect with this place.

Ju Nian pulled the leaves of a tree almost as tall as her, waiting for Feiming and Chen Jiejie who were whispering in front of the grave.The tree was wet by the rain, and the leaves were green in color, which was common when Wu Yu and Wu Yu walked along the path to school.

"I don't know what my father looks like. Fortunately, I have seen my mother's appearance when I can see it." After several steps away, Feiming's voice came faintly.Ju Nian didn't want to disturb the family's once-in-a-lifetime reunion, and it was at this time that she realized that she was an out-and-out outsider from the beginning to the end.

Chen Jiejie didn't say anything. She had been trying in vain to pull out the weeds and branches on the grave mound with her hands, but there were some small trees with trunks as thick as wrists, which could not be removed in a short while by human power.

Han Shu pushed Feiming's wheelchair, and for some reason, when he finally left, Ju Nian seemed to see him bent over vaguely.

Han Shu pushed Feiming past Ju Nian, he had concern in his eyes, and asked, "Don't you really need to go and have a look?"

Chen Jiejie still stayed where she was. She couldn't pull up the small tree on the grave, but when she finally gave up, she was very gentle when she touched the branch of the small tree. Ju Nian saw the wound on her palm cut by the blade of grass .

Ju Nian heard her say: "I said I hated you for a lifetime, but I didn't expect it to be so long. Feiming is sick, if you have a spirit in heaven to protect us and make her recover, you can wait for us; If the child really leaves, you can wait for me together. This life will fail, and in the next life I will not allow you to miss the appointment..."

Ju Nian lowered his head, let go of his hand, and the leaf fell off.

Wu Yu, even in the next life, he will not belong to her.

She shook her head and answered Han Shu's question.

When we got back, it was still raining.Feiming couldn't get out of the rain, so Han Shu covered her with a big umbrella and walked quickly.Ju Nian followed at a distance, and after a while, the sky above her head was covered, and it turned out that Chen Jiejie was holding an umbrella and walking side by side beside her.

At first they said nothing.It wasn't until seeing Han Shu's car parked at the intersection that Chen Jiejie stopped, and suddenly said, "Ju Nian, I'm sorry! I should be the one who spent those years in prison."

She was holding an umbrella with gorgeous flowers. The light passed through the thin umbrella cloth, leaving different shadows on the two of them, and the air they breathed was full of damp smell.

"Yes, you are right."

For them, this is an obvious fact, and no one needs to be hypocritical.

"I can only apologize, because nothing can make up for it, so I don't ask for forgiveness."

"I want to ask you something." Ju Nian looked at Chen Jiejie. They were about the same height, so their eyes were level.

"In the past 11 years, have you ever had a very happy time?"

Chen Jiejie thought for a while, and chose to nod honestly.She once thought that she had died following Wu Yu, but as she said, a lifetime is too long, so long that there are many things that can fill her up silently.It wasn't that she didn't have happiness in the end, she couldn't deceive herself, and she couldn't deceive Xie Junian who saw her like a mirror.

Hearing this answer, Ju Nian seemed a little relieved, "That's fine."

Finally someone is happy.No matter how guilty and apologetic Chen Jiejie is, it is impossible to restore those years that Ju Nian lost.Ju Nian didn't intend to forgive Chen Jiejie, nor did she intend to let others think how kind she was, but since it was already lost, it would be nice to get something back in exchange.It was as if she had lost a ticket for a fixed journey in her life, and she could no longer arrive at that hour, only to be told many years later that someone had used this ticket she picked up to go where she wanted , why should she hate that lucky person again?
It was either her or herself. Ju Nian knew very early on that it was a calamity in fate, and they were all in this calamity. Now it seems that at least one of them was happy. Those years could not be turned back, but at least there was none. Completely wasted.

Chen Jiejie bowed her head for a long time, and smiled at the moment of tears.

When Han Shu pushed Feiming to the side of the car, they all saw a man holding a child waiting at the end of the path.He wasn't proficient in holding the child, so he didn't need to get close, Ju Nian also guessed that there must be unhealed scratches on his face.

Ju Nian pushed away Chen Jiejie's umbrella, and walked in the direction of Feiming as if he hadn't seen anything.Maybe she and Chen Jiejie will never be friends again, but she would rather carry the other person farther with that lost ticket that no longer belongs to her.

Chen Jiejie said anxiously behind Ju Nian: "Ju Nian, being happy is not that difficult. When he fell asleep next to him, he said to himself, pretend he is dead too, and pretend he won't wake up. Thinking this way, It turned out that I was also sad—it turned out that there was more than one person who made me sad in this life. Fortunately, he will wake up. Then you will find that, really, a lifetime is so long, and a little happiness is not that difficult. "

Zhou Ziyi proposed to drive Chen Jiejie and Feiming back to the hospital by himself, but Ju Nian did not object, so he parted ways with them at the intersection.Sitting on the wheelchair pushed by his mother, Feiming looked back at Ju Nian frequently.Since she officially met Chen Jiejie, her aunt's attitude has always been indifferent. Feiming thought that her aunt would cry with her, even though she would be sad that way.Later, Feiming thought that her aunt had always been like this.That's right, she's not her own mother after all, so it's fine if she leaves, even though she's only 11 years old, she knows that it's much harder for her aunt to take her with her than to live alone.

Ju Nian kept watching Zhou's car getting farther and farther away, and Fei Ming was getting farther and farther away from her, leaving only her in place.

Han Shu joked beside her, "If you are sad, I don't mind lending you my shoulder to cry."

Ju Nian really turned his head away, and wept bitterly on the shoulder closest to her.

On the contrary, the person who was still smiling just stood there, not daring to move at all.

Han Shu sent Ju Nian back home, but Ju Nian did not refuse.After the night of New Year's Eve, many clues were actually not cleared up in time, and something happened in the end.Some things are too late to say, and the parties are unwilling to mention them again, so they let it go.Until Chen Jiejie appeared and they came back from the hospital, no matter how reluctant they were, Han Shu finally packed up his things and left her small courtyard.It's not just because Han Shu still has a little guilty conscience, at this point, he really doesn't dare to push too hard.People say that rabbits bite people when they are in a hurry. Xie Ju Nian is definitely a rabbit who keeps silent but will bite him when he is in a hurry.You can't go home, and it's not good to disturb your friends during the festival, so Han Shu found a comfortable hotel to stay temporarily.

I haven't been here for a few days, and Ju Nian has already cleaned up all the dead branches and leaves and the red paper of firecrackers at the entrance of the courtyard, but I can't explain why. When Han Shu saw the empty courtyard after cleaning up, he always felt that it was more empty than a few days ago. What was missing before.Perhaps Feiming also left, and this place, which was originally less popular, is more like an empty city.

Ju Nian didn't greet him, Han Shu found water to drink by himself, and after drinking a glass of cold water, his stomach cramped from the cold.He originally wanted to find the owner and say, don’t bring people who live like this, it’s cold, at least boil some hot water, it’s enough to kill others, be careful that you won’t know if you become a snowman.Unexpectedly, putting down the cup and looking around, Ju Nian was no longer in the living room.

He found the patio behind the house, and he saw her. It turned out that the slanting rain that flew into the eaves had wet the incense burner on a shrine. Looking from behind, she was flicking the ashes in the incense burner with her hands, and then looked for her. Bring a match and re-ignite a stick of incense.

Han Shu murmured mentally, what time is it, and she still has so many superstitions, it really makes people don't know what to say.But it seems that since a long time ago, she has especially believed in fate and ghosts.

Han Shu walked up to him, wanting to see which god is worshiping in Ju Nian, is it the father-in-law, Guanyin Bodhisattva, the Jade Emperor, or the Stove Lord?Not only does it have to be enshrined on the first and fifteenth day of the lunar new year, but the New Year's Eve dinner has to be watched by the old man before it is the turn of hungry mortals. Even today, which is not a very good day, they have to serve with incense, maybe it will be like this all year round , What god can enjoy such treatment.

He leaned over to study for a while, but found that the shrine was a bit weird, because in his only experience as an atheist, since there is something enshrined, there must always be some hints, such as Guanyin, Buddha statues, etc., no matter how bad it is There must be a picture of a fairy, but there is nothing here except an incense burner.

Han Shu was a little puzzled, but considering that she could "piously" fool the gods with a half-eaten fish before, it didn't seem strange to cut corners in other places.

He pointed at the sky narrowly and asked Ju Nian secretly: "Does that comrade have any objections to your fish?"

He thought that Ju Nian would reply him with something like "there are gods standing three feet above your head", but Ju Nian didn't bother with him, uncharacteristically, he took out three incense sticks from the side and handed them to Han Shu.

"What are you doing?" Han Shu made an evasive gesture.

Ju Nian said: "You should burn incense too."

She didn't even use a questioning voice, but an imperative sentence, as if she was telling Han Shu something that couldn't be more natural, but she clearly knew that Han Shu had repeatedly emphasized that he was a firm materialist.

Han Shu waved his hands again and again, and was a little suspicious. Who was she enshrining?Is it God, or the dead?He suddenly felt a little nervous, and naturally thought of Wu Yu, but she obviously refused to admit that Wu Yu was dead, so why would she burn incense and pray for him for a long time.

He refused: "I'm not used to this, you can play by yourself, why drag me." As if afraid of her displeasure, he added, "I only burn incense for my dead relatives."

Ju Nian's hand has not been withdrawn, she has heard what Han Shu said, but there is still no ups and downs, "Let's have a stick."

Apart from asking him to stay away from her life, Ju Nian rarely asked Han Shu to do anything, she looked at him, Han Shu was a little at a loss under such eyes, and finally gave in.He thought, it was just a formality, no matter what kind of ghost it was, it was just to make her happy.So Han Shu complied with a bitter face, took the incense, and Ju Nian bowed his head to strike a match.When he finally inserted the incense into the burner very skillfully, Ju Nian's attention was no longer on him, but was looking at a void in front of her, and there seemed to be a kind of calmed sadness in her eyes.

Han Shu tried to prevent this inexplicable emotion from spreading to himself. He patted the incense ash on the back of his hand and said, "Goodbye. Anyway, I've been very unlucky recently, and nothing is going well. My godmother's body looks I can't go back to the courtyard, and now the only person who can speak for me is gone. Yesterday our acting chief prosecutor asked me to go out to drink tea for no reason. He spoke beautifully, and I am not confused. Others are urging me Going to the Municipal Court, he also hinted that I should give up my seat at the City West Court, and that the case of the Construction Bureau will be taken over by other colleagues. He didn't even think about asking me to leave in such a hurry, how many of the outstanding achievements of the West City Academy in the past few years were not achieved by me, and who am I hindering me?"

He talked about his complaints and depression, but he understood it in his heart, so he comforted himself and said: "Forget it, I can't blame him, whoever made our Dean Han's hand stretched out, it's just a matter of time. City Court There's nothing wrong with it, direct descendants, there are a lot of good jobs waiting, I don't have to do the thankless work. I'm exhausted to the point that Lao Hu and the others who take over are exhausted."

Although he kept saying good things, but even a fool could hear the unpleasant feeling.A person who has never experienced setbacks will feel pain if he falls lightly, not to mention that he is so serious about that case.

"By the way." He glanced at Ju Nian again, and said as if he had nothing to do with him, "Tang Ye has been detained now, do you know?"

Ju Nian was really shocked, and a look of worry flashed across her face, which shouldn't be surprising.Tang Ye had a premonition for a long time, and she was helpless, so she could only respond gloomily, "Oh."

Han Shu cleared himself up, "Don't think I'm the one who punished him, to be honest, my godmother was ill at the wrong time, she couldn't even protect him in the dark, and it was his bad luck to co-author it. Once I leave, the boss If Hu and the others don't continue to investigate to the end, Wang Guohua has already died, and the scapegoat, Tang Ye, that kid has suffered a lot."

His implication is tantamount to reminding Ju Nian that you should die of that heart.

Ju Nian rolled his eyes at him, ignored him, and walked away to busy pack some things that he didn't use frequently.Han Shu's words really upset her, and what happened to Tang Ye had to make her uncomfortable and worried.She walked in and out of the room in a hurry, unable to stop her hands for a moment. On the one hand, being busy could save her from thinking about some unpleasant things, and on the other hand, she could avoid Han Shu, who was getting more and more aggressive and annoying. Annoyed by the buzzing flies.

Fortunately, not long after, Pingfeng who came to visit rescued her.Seeing that Ju Nian had guests, Han Shu was too embarrassed to show his boredom in front of people other than Ju Nian, so he had to leave angrily.

(End of this chapter)