let me look at you

Chapter 65
It's like she doesn't want to hate him, because hatred occupies her heart too much.What's more, if Han Shu is a selfish person, why isn't she?
Ju Nian returned to the room and closed the curtains, unwilling to see Han Shu's figure projected on the glass.Putting down the things in her hand, she sat down on the edge of Feiming's empty bed.

compensate?She smiled wryly.Can he turn back time?Han Shu is just a mortal body, he can't do it, so there is nothing to make up for, and she doesn't want any compensation.It's like she doesn't want to hate him, because hatred occupies her heart too much.What's more, if Han Shu is a selfish person, why isn't she?
Feiming lives in school today, and her dolls are huddled in a row alone.Ju Nian was fiddling with a plush toy blankly, and she also asked herself, as Han Shu said, does she really love this child?Taking tonight as an example, Pingfeng's matter is urgent, but did she think that Feiming's party was not important from the beginning?
Ju Nian was originally a child who didn't know what father's love and mother's love were.In her childhood, her parents were absent from every journey of her life, which seemed to be a matter of course.No one gave her an umbrella on a rainy day, no one applauded her in the audience, no one cared about her grades at the parent meeting, and no one was anxious about her late return.Of course Han Shu is different from her in this point, he has always been the apple of his eye in the hands of his parents, even if Dean Han is strict with his son, it is because of deep love and responsibility.During the days of the college entrance examination, Han Shu's parents asked for leave and waited eagerly outside the exam room, but Ju Nian was asked by his parents only a few days after the exam, what would he like to eat for the college entrance examination soon.Han Shu's experience of love is completely different from hers.

It is difficult for a child who has not received love to know how to love, because what she feels is too barren.Looking back, for a lonely child like Ju Nian, she devoted the love of her parents, brother, friend, and lover to the only Wu Yu in her life, and she only knew how to love Wu Yu, so That's why I did my best.If there is any emotion left, I don’t know who else to give it to.

Why did she adopt Feiming? Is it because she loves children?She told herself every day that she should raise Feiming well, give Feiming a home, and not delve into whose blood she was bleeding.But Feiming grows up day by day, except for the hidden illness, she doesn't look like Wu Yu very much, her facial features, temperament, and demeanor are more and more like another woman in Wu Yu's life, Ju Nian's heart is bit by bit Point fell into disappointment.Yes, she treated Feiming kindly, and she tried her best, but it was only her best. True love is not about trying her best, but about doing her best.

Ju Nian never loudly criticized Feiming, and rarely forced Feiming to act according to his own ideas, and never made any demands on Feiming.If this was the child given to her and Wu Yu by God, would she still do this?She will definitely scold the child severely when she is disobedient, and she will cry bitterly while hugging the child when she is most desperate.

Many nights, after Feiming fell asleep, Ju Nian would sit on the edge of this bed and gently cover Feiming's eyebrows and eyes with his hands, leaving only the thin lips where the shadow of the old man could be found.At that time, Ju Nian knew that what she loved was Wu Yu's shadow.Han Shu was right, she was too selfish, and the child was so innocent.

Probably because of the guilt towards Feiming, Ju Nian deliberately got off work an hour early on Friday to pick her up from school, and went to eat the pizza that the child likes together.When we arrived at Taiyuan Road Elementary School, just 3 minutes after school ended, there were still a flood of elementary school students pouring out of the school gate. Feiming was a child who liked to dawdle for a long time after school before returning home, but Ju Nian saw them one by one. She was never seen.Until the crowd gradually thinned out, it happened that the non-ming head teacher came out talking and laughing with several teachers.

"Mr. Wang, is Feiming still in the classroom?"

Teacher Wang said "Oh", and looked Ju Nian up and down again, with a smile on his mouth. Those eyes and smile made Ju Nian feel a little uncomfortable.

"Your family, Xie Feiming, was picked up by her father as soon as the school bell rang...By the way, you two should be remarried soon, right?"

"Ah?" Ju Nian blushed, not knowing where to start.

Teacher Wang is also a young man, thinking about it, he felt that his words were a bit abrupt, so he pursed his lips and smiled, "Don't mind, I'm not asking about your private life, but the integrity of the family has a great influence on children, Xie Feiming's father After coming here often, the child's personality is more cheerful than before. Don't worry, they will probably return home one step ahead of you, goodbye."

"Oh, goodbye." Ju Nian hastily pulled out a smile.

No need to guess, she also knew that it was Han Shu who came to pick up the child again.It's no wonder that the teacher is meddling in her own business. Anyone who sees this scene will probably guess that she is a single mother pretending to be an aunt.Now the "father" who has been absent for a long time has appeared, and the family is reunited, and everyone is happy, just like a series that the public likes.

On the way back, Ju Nian was a little absent-minded.Regarding the point that Feiming is not Han Shu's child, she thinks she has made it clear enough.Han Shu is a smart person, he should be able to tell this is a fact.But it seems that his care for Feiming has not diminished. Does he really regard himself as the savior?Feiming is a very sensitive child. If there is an elder like Han Shu in her life who can satisfy all her longings, her joy and devotion will be very enthusiastic.If one day, this kind of longing is disillusioned, I'm afraid it will be more cruel than never, Ju Nian dare not think about it anymore.

When they got home, Ju Nian pushed open the broken iron gate that was rebuilt two days ago with the help of Uncle Cai. There was no one at home, so I don't know where Han Shu took her.It wasn't until Ju Nian made a simple dinner that there was no movement at the door as the sun was setting.

Ju Nian couldn't help feeling a little worried at this moment, what if it wasn't Han Shu who took Feiming away?Thinking about it this way, I couldn't sit still.Only then did I realize that I didn't have a way to contact Han Shu—even if there was, would she be willing to make a phone call?It was not her original intention to have any interaction with Han Shu.

Ju Nian was restless when the sound of wheels could be heard outside.Ju Nian walked out of the courtyard to look, and it was indeed Han Shu's silver Subaru approaching from a distance.

Maybe because he saw Ju Nian coming out, Han Shu actually parked his car far away near Uncle Cai's canteen.After a while, Feiming held several bags of things in his hand, pushed open the car door, and walked towards the door of the house bouncing around.

Ju Nian didn't bother to look at the car, he just waited for Feiming to approach him.

"Auntie, I'm back."

"Why is it so late, aunt is so worried about you." Ju Nian scolded.

"It's not too late." Feiming muttered, his eyes glanced at the things he was carrying, and his interest became high again, "Uncle Han Shu took me to eat delicious ice cream and bought me some ice cream. Lots of fun stuff."

Ju Nian originally wanted to say that it is wrong to let others spend money.But when he saw Feiming's excited but terrified expression, he swallowed some words again.She's tired of being a villain who ruins other people's happiness.

Sure enough, after noticing that her aunt's face was slightly dark, Feiming hugged her "baby" tightly, and begged pitifully, "Auntie, I like the things Uncle Han Shu bought."

Ju Nian looked at the colorful packaging bags, thinking that they were nothing more than some weird-shaped gadgets that children like, and he also likes, so he sighed, "This is not an example. Let's go in, do you still have dinner?"

Feiming nodded, walked a few steps, turned around, and waved his hand in the direction of Han Shu's car from a distance. Han Shu's car was parked far away, and he didn't get out of the car, but he was not in a hurry to leave.

"By the way, aunt, this is what Uncle Han Shu asked me to bring to you." As soon as he entered the yard, Feiming suddenly remembered and stuffed the biggest thing in his hand into Ju Nian's arms.

Ju Nian was taken aback for a moment, but didn't reach out to pick it up.

"Aunt... why don't you open it and have a look." Feiming pouted and acted like a spoiled child, seeing that Ju Nian was motionless, he opened the package for his aunt himself.

It was a women's shoulder bag, and Ju Nian was even more silent when he saw it.

"I said it's not good-looking, but Uncle Han Shu said it's good." Feiming played with the bag and said to himself.

Ju Nian is not a fashionista, and she pursues simplicity and comfort for her daily expenses, but no matter how far she stays away from trends, the prominent logo and classic styles on the tag are still impressive.She stopped walking, turned around, and Han Shu's car was still there.

"Feiming, can you help my aunt with something? Go and return the bag to Uncle Han Shu." She squatted in front of the child and whispered.

"Why? Auntie, don't you like it? But Uncle Han Shu chose it for a long time..." Feiming was puzzled.

"obedient."

"Then Uncle Han Shu is so sad."

Ju Nian suppressed her emotions, she doubted that the child's words were at the behest of Han Shu.

"Auntie, tell me again, can you return the bag to Uncle Han Shu?" Her tone was still calm, but Feiming had been by her side for so many years, and she knew a little bit about words and emotions, lest her aunt might change her mind and make herself put those gadgets away. Returning them together, they had no choice but to flick their ponytails and ran towards Han Shu's car.

After Feiming passed by, Ju Nian also heaved a sigh of relief. If the child was really stubborn, she wouldn't run away, and she didn't know how to meet Han Shu face to face.It must be because of this that Han Shu's car parked so far away.

After a while, Feiming came back in a hurry, and said aggrievedly: "Auntie, Uncle Han Shu said that he gave you this bag as compensation, there is no other meaning."

Ju Nian stroked the child's hair, "Hey, Feiming will help Auntie again, just say that Auntie said it, I understand, there is no need to spend money on it, let him take it back."

Feiming rolled his eyes and acted as a microphone again.

Sure enough, she soon returned to Ju Nian, panting again, "Aunt... Aunt, Uncle Han Shu said... said..."

Ju Nian was facing the loquat tree, and his back was facing Feiming.

"say what?"

Feiming was a little puzzled by the indifference in her aunt's words. She thought she had grown up, but she still didn't understand what adults meant, whether it was aunt or uncle Han Shu.

"He said, sorry."

As soon as Ju Nian turned his head, Feiming hurriedly added, "Uncle Han Shu also said, if you still don't want Auntie, you can throw it away for him."

Seeing that the aunt was silent, Feiming begged, "Auntie, please don't let me run around again, okay? I'm really tired. I asked Uncle Han Shu to come here by himself, but he refused."

Ju Nian was silent for a while, then smiled at Feiming, "If you're tired, go inside and have dinner."

The next day, during the lunch break, Ju Nian brought a meal to the Third People's Hospital for Ping Feng who had internal fixation surgery.The operation was considered a success, but it is very difficult for Pingfeng to act now, and Ju Nian is busy with work, so it is inevitable that there are things that cannot be taken care of at both ends.

Pingfeng's ward is on the third floor of the inpatient department, and there are many people waiting at the elevator. Ju Nian simply walked up the stairs, and at the corner of the second floor, he saw a familiar figure unexpectedly.

Xie Wangnian was going downstairs, so the siblings bumped into each other head-on.There are not many people going up and down the stairs. There is no defense and nowhere to avoid this kind of face-to-face.

Ju Nian thought to himself, with his own cowardice, he was afraid that he would never be well prepared to face the people of Xie's family.

Wangnian's ears were also red, and he opened his mouth, unable to say anything.

Ju Nian didn't expect that "sister" either. It didn't matter to her whether he called her by that title or not, and whether he recognized her or not, but this younger brother represented the dissatisfaction towards her from a family with the same blood as hers. I agree, this is where Ju Nian feels embarrassed.

She also didn't want to see Wang Nian's embarrassment, so she turned her face away, smiled, bowed her head and walked quickly.

Pushing open the door of the ward, Ping Feng was holding a romance novel, humming a song, looking in a good mood.

"Come on, I'm hungry." Ping Feng was not polite to Ju Nian either.

Ju Nian smiled and opened the lid of the meal for Pingfeng, and asked casually: "I'm in a good mood, what's the matter?"

Ping Feng just took a sip of the soup impatiently, and almost choked, "Well...what can I do, just make fun of yourself, it's all like this, and it's not a solution to cry."

Ju Nian didn't ask any more questions, and lowered his head to wipe the soup splashed by Pingfeng with a paper towel.

"By the way, Ju Nian, that big guy didn't bother you, did he?"

"Who... Oh." Ju Nian shook his head in denial.

Pingfeng has a good appetite and eats deliciously.Ju Nian sat aside, thinking about the conversation he had with his boss before get off work.She thought about it for a long time before she proposed to advance three months' salary.

The female boss asked the reason very concerned, and Ju Nian only said that something happened to her family and she was in a hurry to spend money.

"In the year of the orange, it's okay to advance one month's salary, but if it's more than one month, the store has a financial system in the store. Last month, other colleagues also raised it, but I didn't agree. You are the store manager, it's not good Break this rule." The female boss answered her like this.Thank you for the Year of the Orange, but in the end I gave up.

After Pingfeng finished eating, Ju Nian suddenly asked, "By the way, does anyone you know like designer handbags?"

Pingfeng wiped her mouth, "It depends on who you are. I know a few colleagues who have a little bit of money. They would rather tighten their belts and buy some valuable outfits. They specialize in making money around the rich. , If it were me, I would spend thousands of dollars to buy a piece of clothing or a bag, and I wouldn’t do it even if I was beaten to death.”

Ju Nian packed up his things, "I have one at my place. When you are discharged from the hospital, see who is interested. If there is, then transfer it to me."

"Where did you get it? New? Why don't you return it to the store if you don't want it?"

"Don't ask, just pay attention to me."

Ju Nian didn't explain to Ping Feng the exact origin of the bag, except for fearing that she would get to the bottom of it, he really didn't want to mention Han Shu's things.She also questioned whether it was appropriate for her to do this. She didn't want to owe Han Shu, and she didn't want to have anything to do with him, whether it was money or emotional, but when she was worried about money, the bag left in the corner of the room seemed like He opened his mouth and kept saying, "It's not that you owe him, it's that he owes you, he owes you, he owes you..."

She didn't know whether it was intentional or not, but she had seen the packaging of the bag, the hang tag and so on, but the shopping invoice was missing.

No matter who owes whom, that's it, clear it.

(End of this chapter)