let me look at you

Chapter 76 Don't mention the past again (1)
If it is really possible, he is willing to go back to every day in the past, good, bad, happy, unfortunate, all over again.It's just that she won't be hurt in the slightest.

The Spring Festival Gala of Taiyuan Road Elementary School was arranged in the evening. It had been raining lightly since the morning, and it was getting dark early in the evening. Walking on the slightly muddy road, the wind blew over, and it felt better than the weather. The minimum temperature reported by the forecast is slightly colder.Ju Nian and Fei Ming rushed to the bus stop with a big umbrella, which can be described as difficult.

Under Ju Nian's good talk, Feiming finally agreed not to change into the dancing clothes and shoes for the time being, so as not to dirty the outfit.For this performance, she was so excited and nervous that she couldn't sleep all night last night, but as soon as she went out, the bad weather and road conditions made her heart immersed in the fairy tale song and dance feel a little depressed, and the cold wind blew, making her headache.

"Auntie, I knew it was not enough to just hold an umbrella." Feiming complained with white breath from his mouth.

Ju Nian pursed her lips and smiled, and didn't bother to break it. She obviously thought the other umbrella was old and ugly, so she just quietly moved the handle of the umbrella to Feiming's side, and comforted: "Get on the bus soon. stand."

The weather is bad, fewer people are willing to walk, and the bus that just passed is full of dissatisfaction. The child pretends that the performance is the most important thing in front of him, so he is naturally anxious.She watched the continuous private cars speeding past her eyes, and couldn't help muttering: "Uncle Han Shu doesn't know what he is doing, I clearly told him that there will be a performance tonight."

After Feiming finished speaking, he secretly glanced at his aunt.Ju Nian was lowering his head and flicking the water droplets on the umbrella once and for all, as if his mind was wandering, as if he didn't hear what she said.Feiming breathed a sigh of relief, but was a little disappointed, and stretched his neck resentfully, waiting for the next bus to arrive.

After a while, Feiming almost forgot about this topic, and heard his aunt ask slowly: "Oh, what did he say?"

Feiming rolled her eyes and thought to herself that her aunt's reaction was slow enough. Speaking of this, she regained some energy, "I called Uncle Han Shu last week. If you don’t say no, ask Auntie if you know I’m calling him.”

"That's it." Ju Nian nodded and stopped talking.

Such a result obviously did not satisfy the child, and Feiming analyzed it pretentiously: "Auntie, is it because you don't let Uncle Han Shu come, I think he seems a little afraid of you."

Ju Nian laughed, "Why? Your Uncle Han Shu didn't come because he has other things to do."

"But the show is at night, so he doesn't have to go to work."

"Fool, besides going to work, adults have many things to do."

"Then why don't you have anything to do when you're not at work?"

At a loss for words, she realized that she could no longer argue with this teenager.

After finally arriving at the auditorium of the elementary school, she was still looking around, hoping that Uncle Han Shu would suddenly appear from a corner and give her a "surprise" with a smile.

In a short time, Feiming will be the all-starred Snow White on the stage. She hopes that more people she loves can share the joy of that moment, especially Uncle Han Shu.If he comes, many classmates who laugh at her as an orphan will find that there will be a handsome and good "parent" off the stage who will only cheer and applaud Xie Feiming, instead of only her aunt quietly accompanying her.

Aunt is not bad either.It's not that Feiming doesn't know that his aunt is the one who really takes care of him, but his aunt is always too deserted, and Feiming is too afraid of this desertion.What she longs for is a lively table waiting for her after school, and a warm embrace when she is happy or depressed, but she has none of these.Her only memory was waking up occasionally at midnight, the boundless silence in the old house, and the lonely profile of Aunt Ju Nian when she was sitting.

Feiming hasn't grown up enough to understand those emotions, but she can smell the sadness hidden behind the bland and watery days, which is not the smell of her dream home.

Uncle Han Shu did not appear.Feeling a little disappointed, Feiming ran into the dressing room on the second floor of the auditorium with her skirt and dancing shoes in his arms, while Ju Nian found a seat and sat down, waiting alone.

The performance was about to begin, and Feiming, who had already changed into a white gauze dress and was dressed like a sweetheart princess, suddenly returned to Ju Nian nervously and happily.

"Why is your face so red?" Through the foundation, Ju Nian could notice Feiming's unusually flushed face, and also couldn't hide the surprise in his eyes.

Feiming stuffed a paper bag into Ju Nian's arms, and whispered to Ju Nian in a mysterious voice: "Auntie, the teacher gave this to me just now, saying that an aunt gave it to me, and you bought it for me. Is it?"

Ju Nian gently opened the rather delicate and elegant paper bag, inside was a beautiful little box, only to find that the box was full of all kinds of beautiful little hairpins, colorful decorations and sparkling rhinestones Eye.

"Did you buy it for me?" Feiming kept asking, but she probably knew in her heart that the answer was no. "Could it be Uncle Han Shu?"

The child's voice trembled slightly due to extreme excitement and surprise, but Ju Nian's fingertips were cold, and a corner of his heart was trembling slightly.It can't be Han Shu. Although Han Shu can afford it and is willing to give gifts to his children, he won't go out of his way to buy things that little girls like, and he doesn't necessarily know that these things are what Feiming likes right now.The answer is self-evident.

"No, it's not Uncle Han Shu. The teacher told me it was an aunt... Which aunt is it? Why didn't she hand it over to me?"

How can Ju Nian tell Feiming that these cards come from someone she has always thought about but never met, and that person may be forever because of a past, a vow...or another family and a stable life. I can't give Feiming the home he wants.

Of course Chen Jiejie recognized Feiming, this is the only blood evidence left by her in the ridiculous years of her youth.Will she cry when she passed by that time?Will she regret it?Would she toss and turn thinking of the lost face because of this life that fused her and Wu Yu's blood?Ju Nian was unknown, but what she was sure of was that Chen Jiejie might want to compensate the child, but it was impossible for him to recognize Feiming.And the compensation she can give is just a beautiful but useless embellishment for this box.

Ju Nian thought, don't blame her.It's just a past, some people want to remember, some people want to forget, that's all.

"Could it be that someone else sent it by mistake?" Feiming guessed at the end, but was terrified by this unlikely luck.

Ju Nian laughed, picked one out of the pile of hairpins, and pinned it on Feiming's hair.

"Like it?" she asked.

Feiming nodded with red eyes.

Ju Nian couldn't help being a little sad. She had brought Feiming by her side for so many years, but she gave the child so little happiness.

"As long as you like it, look, the hairpin is so beautiful on your head, how could it be given by mistake. Maybe this is a late gift from Santa Claus to Snow White!"

Although Feiming didn't quite believe it, she also smiled, and successfully shifted her attention to the performance she cared about the most.She opened the hem of her skirt and twirled briskly in front of Ju Nian.

"Auntie, does my skirt look good? Li Xiaomeng was also putting on makeup just now. She played the role of a tree. When she saw my skirt, her face turned green with anger."

Ju Nian held back his smile, "I just saw a boy pretending to be a prince, it's Li Te, right? He's also very handsome today."

Feiming turned around a few times sweetly in his heart, sat down on the chair beside Ju Nian, and muttered, "Auntie, I'm so happy that I feel a little dizzy."

Ju Nian took out a tissue to wipe the thin sweat on Feiming's forehead, "Sit for a while and you'll be fine."

"Did you dance when you were little, Auntie?"

"Uh... not much dancing."

"Don't you wish you were Snow White?"

"Only the best girls can play Snow White." Ju Nian said with a smile.

The child still doesn't know how to be modest, so he nodded in approval.After thinking for a while, she tilted her head again and said seriously, "Auntie, I think you are fine too."

"Huh?" Ju Nian was a little surprised, she laughed at herself, perhaps because she hadn't heard anyone say such a thing to her for so many years, that her eyes were slightly moist because of the child's unintentional affirmation. "Really?"

"Really." Feiming gently leaned his head on his aunt's shoulder, "Aunts are the best in the world...except my parents."

The teacher summoned all the students participating in the performance to the backstage to wait for the show through the radio. Feiming hurried away, but Ju Nian calmed down and sat in his seat, waiting for the upcoming performance.

Because of the school's careful preparations, the program of the party was very exciting, and parents clapping vigorously and focusing on taking pictures could be seen everywhere.Perhaps for parents, the content of the performance on stage is not important, what is important is that there are their own babies in it.

In the middle of the party, the primary school student who announced the curtain said to the audience in a voice like a yellow warbler: "Next, please enjoy the musical - "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."

The applause sounded like thunder, and Ju Nian couldn't help but sit up straight, waiting attentively for Feiming's performance.She is too aware of the importance of this performance to Feiming, so many days and nights of hard rehearsal and careful preparation are just for this moment.

She said silently in her heart: Wu Yu, are you watching too?

The sound of fairy tale music came, and the auditorium gradually became quiet, as if they were waiting for the elves on the stage.

One second, two seconds... ten seconds... time passed, but there was no one on the stage, and the parents in the auditorium changed from doubts to whispers, and from whispers to looking around in puzzlement.

There was a commotion in the audience, and the most calm Ju Nian frowned uncomprehendingly. After paying close attention, she discovered that the source of the commotion came from the backstage.

This is a nonsensical program!
Ju Nian twisted his fingers, unable to sit still, what happened?She got up quietly and trot towards the backstage.

There were quite a few people around the small steps leading into the backstage, including students, teachers, and parents. They all stood on tiptoe and stretched their necks to look in.Ju Nian's mind was in chaos, and he only heard some fragmented words.

"girl……"

"...It's a disease, it's terrible..."

"...Did you call an ambulance?"

The restless tide is cold to the touch, starting from the toes, slowly, slowly, wetting her and engulfing her.

Ju Nian forcefully separated the crowd in front of him, layer after layer of human walls, airtightly covering the terrified and desperate island in the center of the storm.Time seems to be reversed, and the surrounding scenes are blurred in front of my eyes... Midsummer, afternoon, cold hands, ambulances returning in vain, sirens that seem to be near and far away, crowded onlookers, white stretchers, red blood , the pomegranate flowers that fall without wind...and the smell of farewell...she is trembling...no...don't be like this...

"Don't let my tears stay with me overnight, don't let your kisses linger..."

(End of this chapter)