let me look at you

Chapter 90 Little Tree's Dream
Mother's face was pressed against the back of Feiming's hand, wet and hot with tears, Feiming was afraid of the overly strong touch, afraid that the dream would shatter into bubbles in the afternoon sun in the next second, with a bang, nothing There was no trace, not even fragments, just like she woke up countless times, opened her eyes, there was no father, no mother.

The day before New Year's Eve, all the patients who could be discharged from the hospital left, and those who were ill probably endured it. They waited until after the holiday to talk about anything. The nurses were in the duty room discussing how to spend the Spring Festival.The hospital was very quiet, as quiet as an empty valley. The wind and rain had gone, leaving only a lonely tree, which dropped a leaf quietly, without anyone noticing.

Feiming is such a small tree.She closed her eyes, imagining that she would still sprout branches after a spring snow, she would grow and grow, grow taller, with luxuriant branches and leaves, and finally connect with the forest that bred her, with the same branches and the same leaves , she will also bloom the same beautiful flowers... She forgot the strong smell of disinfectant, and fell asleep peacefully in the green fragrance with a sense of belonging.

Later, Feiming had a weird dream in which someone was crying.She didn't remember where she heard such a cry, but it was familiar, as if it had existed for a long time, and it was born before her memory.She tried to look around and saw first a silhouette, then a face, then a silhouette trembling with pent-up crying.

"My child, my child..."

"Are you my mother?" Maybe because she knew it was in a dream, and Feiming had had too many similar dreams, so she was not too shocked or surprised. Like countless times before, her mother was in the dream again I found her, the only difference is that this time, my mother's face was very clear, as clear as a beautiful aunt who passed by and made her very envious; her mother's tears were so real, she almost thought they were really falling On the back of her hand was dripping.

"You know me? Do you really know me?"

Feiming didn't know why "Mom" was crying more and more violently. She was none other than her mother, of course Feiming recognized her.

"Mom, don't cry, or I will cry too. As soon as I cry, I wake up. I want you to stay with me for a while."

The mother's voice was broken into pieces amid the uncontrollable crying, and it took Feiming a lot of effort to hear that she was asking again and again: "Feiming, do you hate me, do you hate mother..."

Feiming shook his head and murmured, "I hated for a minute. I think I just miss you so much... Mom, why don't you want me?"

The mother's face was pressed against the back of Feiming's hand, wet and hot with tears, and Feiming was afraid of the overly strong touch, afraid that the dream would shatter into bubbles in the afternoon sun in the next second, with a "pop" , without a trace, without even a fragment, just like she woke up countless times, opened her eyes, there was no father, no mother.

Why not me?

Feiming just habitually asks questions that have been hidden in her heart for a long time. This is a never-ending pursuit that accompanies her growth. In fact, she never expected that there will be an answer.

But she heard her mother's answer after crying for a long time.

"My mother did one wrong thing when she was young, no, maybe it was the most right thing I did in my life... It's not that my mother doesn't want you. In order to want you, my mother swore a poisonous oath."

"What poisonous oath?"

"The poisonous oath is that as long as mother can give birth to you, as long as you are alive, she will never see you again."

"Otherwise?"

"Otherwise, mother will die badly, Feiming, I'm sorry, Feiming."

After her mother finished her oath, her eyes were full of fear and uneasiness. Feiming once thought that her mother was afraid of the oath being fulfilled, but she vaguely felt that this was not the case.There is also guilt in my mother's fear, because my aunt said that when one person feels guilty, he will not dare to look into another person's eyes.

Feiming's head started to ache again when she thought about it, she groaned a few times, her mother's hand covered her Little Red Riding Hood, the little tree closed its eyes, and her branches were finally connected to the big tree.

Feiming said: "Then you come to see me, will you die?...Mom, I don't want you to die..."

The mother's expression was so painful that Feiming felt that his heart was about to be broken.She tightly grasped the bed sheet with one hand, and grabbed her mother with the other... She fell into the abyss of chaos, and before the last trace of consciousness disappeared, she still remembered that her mother's hand was hot.

Ju Nian rushed back from home and brought the little red padded jacket that Fei Mingfei wanted to wear.They all knew that this Spring Festival would probably be spent in the hospital.In addition to Feiming's favorite red clothes during the festival, Ju Nian also brought a few strings of red lanterns with the nurse's consent.I hope the bright red can make them temporarily forget the loneliness of the hospital.

After arriving at the hospital, Ju Nian found out that in the afternoon when she left, Feiming fell into a very dangerous situation, and his brain even experienced a short-term lack of oxygen. Fortunately, the rescue was timely, and there was no serious problem.

Ju Nian couldn't help but secretly blamed himself for wasting too much unnecessary time on those red lanterns, so he never left Feiming again.Although Feiming's physical condition is obviously not good, her interest is higher than ever. She told her aunt that she had a very good dream, which was better than every time before.Ju Nian thought that what could bring her happiness, even if it was a dream, was too precious.

The aunt and nephew talked for a while, and it was getting late.Some staff in the hospital have already been on vacation, and only a few people are on duty. Ju Nian is worried that there will be no boiling water, so he goes to prepare early.She carried two kettles and went out, just in time to hear the head nurse on duty asking a woman, "Who are you here to see? It's not a good idea to sit here all the time. I don't think you look good." Great, what's wrong with your face? Is there anything I can do for you?"

The woman didn't say a word, Ju Nian didn't like to meddle in other people's business the most, she lowered her head and hurried past from one side, she still slowed down as she walked.

"Year of Orange."

The moment she turned her head, she heard someone calling her that.

Seeing that the two knew each other, the head nurse stopped mixing, and Shi Shiran walked back to the duty room.

Standing there, Chen Jiejie, the lights of the hospital pulled her already tall figure into a long shadow. After so many face-to-face meetings in the hospital, she called out Ju Nian's name for the first time, but Ju Nian felt that at this moment She seemed to have lost her soul.

Ju Nian also felt a little sympathetic, she couldn't help thinking, that day she let Han Shu and Chen Jiejie leave in anger, they were all frightened and didn't express any objection, but could her anger really stand?It goes without saying what Han Shu did for Feiming, and Chen Jiejie is Feiming's close relative. She can ignore these two people, but she can't reject them instead of Feiming.

"Do you want to see the child?" Ju Nian said quietly, "Actually, it's not impossible. You should know that you can't make oaths accurately. It's just that the child is Feiming, I... I'm just afraid She's disappointed."

Chen Jiejie rushed to Ju Nian in a few steps, startled Ju Nian, stepped back quickly, put his back against the wall of the corridor, and the hot water bottle in his hand collided with the cement wall with a "bang".

Before she came to her senses, Chen Jiejie took out a bunch of things from her bag and stuffed them into Ju Nian's restless hands without hesitation. Ju Nian had nowhere to dodge, so she had to put down the kettle.Among the things Chen Jiejie gave her were cards, passbooks, cash of various denominations, and even a lot of jewelry.

"What are you doing?" Ju Nian couldn't pick it up or throw it away, so he had to ask in a panic.

Chen Jiejie, who was in a state of despair before, had an unusual fanaticism on his face at the moment, his eyes were as bright as candles in the dark, and he said incoherently: "This is all the things I can take out right now, and everything is here! Ju Nian, you take it, I only have these now."

"do not……"

"I'll try to figure it out again. I don't know enough, but you accept it first."

Being so close, Ju Nian, who hadn't looked at Chen Jiejie squarely, saw the redness, swelling and bruises on her face.Ju Nian is a person with a crystal heart, so he immediately understood a little bit, and couldn't help being startled.

"He hit you?"

Only now did Chen Jiejie grin, and even though the mottled wound on her cheek was affected, that smile was still charming.

"I beat him too. My injuries are nothing. I'm afraid he won't be able to see his face for ten days and a half months. Hehe, this is called real face tearing!" She laughed exaggeratedly, leaning forward and backward. .Ju Nian didn't smile, nor did he want to look closely at the tears in the corners of her eyes.

Such a pleasing pair of golden boy and jade girl.Ju Nian admitted that she had cursed and lost, but she remembered the nostalgic and emotional eyes of the little monk when he looked at this beautiful face. At this moment, if he is watching this scene silently, his heart will ache. ?She was the one the little monk had loved, and the little monk was everything in Ju Nian.

Chen Jiejie laughed enough in Ju Nian's silence, she was tired of laughing, her expression was confused and in a trance, like a lost child, and she was lost too far.Even though I have a direction now, I can never go home again.

"Ju Nian, Ju Nian, have you dreamed about him too?"

Ju Nian turned her head away, she refused to talk about this topic, but her heart trembled.She selfishly refuses to tell, she never dreams of him because he is always there.

Chen Jiejie raised her head to look at the lighting on the ceiling, and looked directly at it. After a long time, the halos circled around, giving people an unreal illusion.

"I know you can't forget him, so you take care of Feiming for my irresponsible mother...but I don't want to dream about him anymore. I am living a good life and I am very happy. It is he who refuses to come looking for me. Me, he violated our vow, so I must be happy, piss him off, piss him off!" She kept her head up, and Juan could see the tears streaming down her cheeks, every tear falling under the light Down, crystal clear to sin.

Chen Jiejie's laughter was swallowed by the sobs in his throat, "I forgot, he died a long time ago. You saw it with your own eyes. He died beside you. I couldn't see him. He just told me to wait for him, and he didn't even say goodbye." Did not say."

"Enough." Ju Nian didn't want to hear any more.

"He blamed me, blamed me for being irresponsible, so he took Feiming away. No, Wu Yu, you can't take her away. I want this child to remind me forever to remember to hate you. I was waiting for you, but you didn't come. "

She crouched unsteadily on the ground, crying like a child.The banquet of youth has already ended, who will pay for the rest?
Ju Nian lost her mind amidst the crying, and she herself didn't know where her heart drifted.In the end, Chen Jiejie, who only knew how to cry, grabbed her trouser leg with one hand.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you can look down on me, but I want Feiming, please let me take her away!"

Ju Nian let out a hollow laugh, "Take her away, where are you going?" She said in a voice that only she and Chen Jiejie could hear, "The doctor told me just this afternoon that the test results have come out, and the unidentified tumor is malignant. And it's already spreading. Are you going to take her away now?"

"You lied to me!" Chen Jiejie was raving.

"I hope I lied to you." Every word uttered is actually a pain, a blunt knife cuts flesh, and there is no peace.

Chen Jiejie was stunned for a while, and after she stood up, she wiped away her tears, and the familiar decisiveness of Ju Nian returned. "I will divorce again and get what I deserve. I will save her after spending all my money, and I will never let Feiming leave me again. Ju Nian, I just beg you, please let me admit it she."

Ju Nian didn't say a word, in fact, not only her, Chen Jiejie should also know that taking her daughter away as a mother is only right and proper, and no one can stop her.But Chen Jiejie chose to beg, presumably she also understands how irretrievable the 11 missed years are.

They startled many people. The head nurse protruded from the duty room and then retracted. Ju Nian's gaze passed through Chen Jiejie and landed on a certain point behind her.

She whispered, "Let Feiming make this decision."

Chen Jiejie also turned her head at this time, and at the door of the ward more than ten steps away, she saw a small figure and the brightly colored Little Red Riding Hood.

(End of this chapter)