Our youth is over

Chapter 17
"Those people are living around me the same as before, without missing an eye and adding a nose, but I think they are all sick. Under the normal appearance, they all have a sick heart."

1
Maybe there is still hope, maybe Qiqi is not dead.

Like a white light ignited in the dark world, I comforted myself with a fluke mentality, then pushed away Jiang Chengrui who was lying at my feet and couldn't get up, rushed to the road quickly, stopped a taxi casually, and hurriedly sit in.

"Go to the nearest hospital near here." I said anxiously to the driver.

Jiang Chengrui rushed up, grabbing the car door to prevent me from closing it, trying to squeeze in.

I didn't care if he was in pain or not, I stretched out my hand and pushed him out vigorously, then closed the car door hard.

He has no face to see Qiqi, he is not qualified.

I clenched my fists and thought bitterly, my swollen eyes were filled with tears again.

In the rear mirror of the car, Xiao Jiang could still be seen trying to stop a taxi on the side of the road, Lu Xia was squatting under a plane tree not far from her crying, He Yebei stood by, and Lin Zhishen was smoking cigarettes on the road opposite them. cigarette.He never came.

I looked back, sat in the car hugging my trembling body, biting my lip.

My whole head was in confusion, everything I saw in front of me was erratic and jumping, my ears were in a state of tinnitus for a long time, until I got off the car and arrived at the hospital, I was in a daze, and I didn't know how I got in.

This hospital is the one where Jiang Chengrui was hospitalized last time. I have been here a few times before, but I have never seen so many people.There were many people in the hall that entered the entrance, some came to see the doctor, some came to see the doctor, some came to see the fun, and asked where the girl who fell from the building was just brought...

The last sliver of hope in my heart was slowly dissipated in the noisy discussion, and I, like the group of spectators, grabbed the passing doctor and asked Qi Qi's whereabouts.

In the end, I was taken to the morgue, and seeing Qiqi's pale and deformed face, I had to accept this cruel reality, as if I had been drained of all strength, I sat paralyzed on the ground, crying bitterly, but never again. Dare to take a look at Qiqi.

How could God be so cruel? Why did he take Qiqi away today on her birthday?Why take her away!
How can I take away my best friend...

"Little Bei!"

"Beinan!"

Jiang Chengrui barged in loudly, but his voice stopped abruptly the moment he entered the door.

I sat on the ground and turned my head to look at him indifferently, my expression should be numb.

I didn't know what to say to him, I scolded and beat him, and I was exhausted.

I struggled to get up from the ground, and I didn't look at Jiang Chengrui, who was standing motionless beside Qiqi's body, and staggered out of the morgue alone.

There were all kinds of spectators in the aisle, and there was a lot of noise and buzzing in my ears, as if I heard someone calling me, but it didn't seem to be there, until I was patted on the shoulder vigorously, I raised my head in a daze, looked at the Cheng Qiang and the others rushed over upon hearing the news.

"Xiaobei, Qiqi..." Cheng Qiang just opened his mouth, but didn't ask any more questions.

I watched him not speak, but I couldn't help crying, my voice was hoarse, and I couldn't even cry.But Cheng Qiang and the others seemed to understand what I meant, their eyes turned red immediately, and they didn't say anything again.

"Qiqi's parents are in other provinces, and she has always been taken by her grandparents. I am not sure about things, and I am afraid that the elderly will not be able to bear it, so I will not tell them for the time being. The matter will soon spread to the school. The parents will be notified, let them talk. Let's stay here with her first." After a moment of silence, Cheng Qiang said gruffly.

I nodded, feeling that it was too stuffy here, and I would not be able to bear it if I stayed any longer, so I gestured with Cheng Qiang and the others to go outside to get some air.

The main road was right in front of the hospital. I folded my arms around my chest and squatted on the ground shaking.A chill spread rapidly from the bottom of my heart, I closed my eyes, gasping for breath with difficulty, my throat was tearing.

People kept coming in and out around, and the strong smell of disinfectant water from the hospital wafted out, and I could still smell the corrosive smell of formalin here.

On the sidewalk facing the road, a group of people walked towards this side in a hurry and slowly. My eyes fell on one of the girls in a white dress and a bright red sweater.

The golden sycamore leaves that fell from the tree fell on the girl's thin shoulders, her long black hair fluttered casually in the wind, and the autumn wind blew up the pure white skirt, revealing her playful black hair. The little pink leather boots, the snow-white skin at the mouth of the boots, are so beautiful.

I thought of the white dress I left behind in the rose garden, and my vision blurred again, hallucinations began to appear in front of my eyes, imagining how beautiful Qi Qi would look in that white dress.

But the pale, deformed corpse in the mortuary shattered my fantasy heavily, reminding me with tingling pain that Qiqi is dead, dead.

Such a beautiful girl, such a good girl, just died like this.

My tears could not stop.

2
"The family has talked to your dad several times, and told him not to be a gangster anymore. Something will happen sooner or later on the road! Your dad won't listen, and even you take it as a point of pride to be a gangster. You have learned to form gangs since you were a child! Now it's okay It's okay, something happened, and I died alone because of you. Don't you feel guilty? It's okay to provoke Lu Xia before, I will treat her as you like her. But what about that girl? What do you do if you don't like her? If you don’t provoke her, this kind of thing won’t happen today! Why can’t you and your father go far away, don’t appear in front of us again! Don’t hurt innocent people again!”

"Have you said enough! Every time you and your dad just pretend to be arrogant and teach me and my dad a lesson, what do you know? Yes, I provoked Qi Qinghan, it was my dad who provoked trouble, and provoked someone. But today, if Qi Qinghan doesn't come out to rescue that Jiang, will those people chase her? Will she slip and fall downstairs? She died because of that Jiang! Jiang Chengrui must be good from the beginning For her, if you don’t provoke Lu Xia, will you have something to do with me? Will you die? And you, He Yebei, don’t you feel guilty too? Don’t you also like Lu Xia? Chasing after her and watching her with me? You have to be capable of chasing her at the beginning, she is with you, how could she deliberately mess with Jiang Chengrui in order to get rid of me? You don't know what she has always liked Is it all you? It’s because I’m afraid I’ll hurt you, so I deliberately stay by my side to please me. Later, I found that I couldn’t take it anymore, I couldn’t stand people like me, so I wanted to leave, and I just grabbed someone who was reliable and made it Lifesaver. If she doesn’t hook up with Jiang Chengrui, Qi Qinghan won’t be with me, Jiang Chengrui won’t be beaten several times, and Qi Qinghan won’t die trying to save him. To say right or wrong, we Who is cleaner than whom?"

"Enough, you are enough, stop arguing. Lin Zhishen, didn't you say you let me go last time, why am I still being harassed? If Qi Qinghan didn't show up today, would it be me who died? Why are you so bad, why do you keep pestering me? Ever since you were young, you have always liked to fight with Yebei. I like Yebei, but you threaten me to hurt him. Even whoever I like depends on your face. You just Like a devil, a psychopath! I'm going crazy, you let me live in fear all day long, it's a disaster to know you..."

The three people on the left who were arguing and arguing at the gate are like a joke. Now it is so funny to compare who is more wrong and sad.

Listen to what they say, how much information is there!It was originally a drama of the three of them, so why bother to involve us?

I knew that Lu Xia didn't really like Xiao Jiang, that's right.An idiot like Jiang Chengrui didn't believe it. He treated people like goddesses and didn't even know they were being used. He even took Qi Qi's life.

Lu Xia herself said that what she likes is He Yebei. In order to get rid of Lin Zhishen and was afraid that Lin Zhishen would hurt He Yebei, she had to hook up with Jiang Chengrui, thinking that Xiao Jiang was strong enough to protect her.

He Yebei obviously liked her so much, but he didn't have the courage to snatch her away.Lin Zhishen also acted that he liked her so much, but he couldn't bear to let her go.As for Jiang Chengrui, for her sake, he lost such a good girl as Qiqi, but in the end, he still didn't really like him.

How ridiculous!

Lu Xia is really that good!Isn't she a selfish girl?For their own freedom, they take advantage of people at will.How could she compare to our Qiqi, but they all left Qiqi there just to find her.

What does she have that Qiqi should change her life for her!
Love is really a blinding thing.

I covered my ears, not wanting to listen to the endless quarrel of those three people.

After squatting on the ground for a long time, my hands were numb from the cold, and suddenly I felt that it was useless to stay here, so I wanted to stand up and go see Qiqi again.As a result, as soon as I got up, I felt the blood rushing down from my head, and a sense of suffocation and lack of oxygen hit me, and I was so dizzy that I was about to collapse.

If someone hadn't come to help me in time, I would definitely have fallen.

My throat was hoarse, and I said thank you to the visitor in an ugly way. I managed to stand firm and raised my head, and saw Lin Zhishen with an indifferent expression.In just a second of illusion, I felt that he stood quietly by the side very much like He Yebei.

Looking around, I belatedly realized that Lu Xia and He Yebei were no longer there.

I didn't have the strength to find out where they went, so I put my eyes on Lin Zhishen again, looked at him inquiringly, and wondered what else he wanted to do or say.

"Qi Qinghan, she..."

"died."

Before he finished speaking, I knew roughly what he wanted to ask and asserted through gritted teeth.

Lin Zhishen's eyes dimmed, his brows were furrowed, and it took him a while to speak hoarsely, asking me to take him to see Qiqi.

I pushed his hand away, stood aside haughtily, looked at him with red eyes, and only asked him: "You chased after Qi Qi at first, and you wanted to be with her because Lu Xia asked you to let go, and you felt hurt and wanted to be with her." Are you looking for comfort from Qiqi, or are you afraid that Lu Xia will be hurt, and are you going to use Qiqi to divert the attention of the group of people staring at Lu Xia?"

Lin Zhishen was silent.

My heart suddenly became clear. Could there be other answers besides the latter?If he liked Qiqi a little bit, Qiqi would not die.

He got into a whole lot of trouble, and even provoked irrelevant people, simply because he didn't care about that person.If he cared, he would only get further and further away from that person, for fear of hurting the other person because of himself.

"Lin Zhishen, it's right that Lu Xia doesn't like you! An ungrateful person like you doesn't deserve to be liked."

I yelled at Lin Zhishen in an ugly and noisy voice, with a fishy sweetness in my throat, I bit my lips tightly, and stared at that person hard, if I still had the strength, I really wanted to hit him .

Qiqi saved him once, how could he use her as Lu Xia's shield.Is Lu Xia really that good?What's so good about her?pretty?Pure?still kind...

"Whether you believe it or not, I never lied to Qi Qinghan. Even why I found her, she knew the reason. I didn't force her. It was she who asked me not to pester Lu Xia anymore. Jiang Chengrui was On the day I was stabbed into the hospital, I went to the hospital to look for Lu Xia, and found that Qi Qinghan was also there. She didn't go to see Jiang Chengrui, but asked about the situation at the service desk. I happened to see that she also saw me and greeted me , asked me if I would like to date her. It was not that I wanted to protect Lu Xia, so I planned to be with her, but Qi Qinghan, in order to protect Jiang Chengrui, took the initiative to be with me. She is a very good girl, I thought about it I want to treat her well, but there is no chance..."

What's the use of saying this now, people are gone, and besides, I think you are very good, I have never lied to you, I want to treat you well, but I don't like you, is this kind of hypocrisy useful?
My throat was so hoarse that I couldn't speak anymore, I just stared at Lin Zhishen mockingly, then turned my head away in disgust.

Just like Jiang Chengrui, he is disgusting to look at.

3
The death of a high school girl who fell from a building exploded throughout the city.

Qiqi had never caused such a big commotion before her death. After her death, her name was hung in the city newspapers and city news stations for a period of time.

The police autopsy report came out, excluding the possibility of homicide and suicide, it was an accidental death due to a fall from a building.

Whether it was someone chasing her from behind, Qi Qi was so frightened that she stepped on the ground and fell down the stairs, or she walked carelessly and fell down, the final judgment is that it was an accidental death accident, and criminal responsibility cannot be pursued.

As for Lin Zhishen and his father, as well as their opponents, the group of hooligans chasing Qiqi and their boss, whether they have broken the law or not, it belongs to the black circle.Even if this person has done a lot of evil, without strong evidence, the police will not arrest people rashly, and there is no way to convict him.

Afterwards, Brother Qiang told me that several people in the black circle were fighting for territory, causing many casualties, several managers ran away, and Lin Zhishen and his father disappeared together.

The whole city seemed suddenly quiet.

But I don't feel any pleasure.

Qiqi died just like that, without any happiness.

I didn't go to Qiqi's funeral.

For a long time, the floor-to-ceiling windows in my bedroom were drawn tightly, and I curled up and hid in the dark space, unwilling to go out.I once thought that people in this world are dirty, selfish, hypocritical, and unfair...

I was swallowed by the ugliness of human nature, and my spirit was in a state of depression for a long time.

Later, I was forcibly taken out by my mother and forced to face all kinds of people in this society.

Those people lived around me just like before, without missing an eye and adding a nose, but I think they are all sick. Under the normal appearance, they all have a sick heart.

It wasn't until the hospital's medical records were placed in front of me that I realized that it wasn't them who were sick, but me.

I'm suffering from depression.

My mother washed her face with tears every day. Jiang Chengrui came to my house to see me every now and then, but I shut the door and screamed and threatened my mother not to open the door.

I broke up with him!

At the beginning, my family had that kind of imagination, thinking that it was because I liked Jiang Chengrui, Jiang Chengrui had a girlfriend, and I was stimulated and held in my heart for a long time before I got sick.Later, during hypnosis by the psychiatrist, I mentioned Qiqi's matter, and they knew the crux of the matter, but they couldn't understand it. I made it like this because a classmate died.

They don't understand what Qiqi means to me, and they haven't experienced everything I experienced that day, so how can they understand the mood I felt at the moment when I received Qiqi's distress call.

She stepped on air and fell downstairs when she was talking to me.

Thinking of these, I have an urge to go crazy.

Life is sad enough, in order not to let my parents despair, I obediently accepted two months of psychotherapy.After my mental condition improved and I felt that I was still a person in this world, the first semester of the second year of high school was over, and I missed the final exam.

In order not to keep me from repeating the grade, my dad asked someone to find the school, and negotiated to let me take tutoring during the winter vacation to make up the courses, and then the corresponding teacher would issue a few comprehensive papers for examination.

Don't ask my dad, I also know who he asked for help.It has something to do with the school, besides Jiang Chengrui's father, who else.

In my heart, I was simply against Jiang Chengrui, and had no ill will towards Uncle Jiang. I dutifully followed my parents' schedule and found teachers of the corresponding subjects to make up lessons every day.

It is fast to make up Chinese and English. The main reason is that my foundation in these two subjects is not bad, so I finished it after a few days of making up day and night.Mathematics and Chemistry teachers are not free during the winter vacation, and I don’t want to ask He Pili to teach physics. The main reason is that I don’t want to see He Yebei. My mother hired a tutor to make up for me. Apart from eating and sleeping, I just make up lessons every day. It was a bitter struggle for more than ten hours.

I don’t think high school entrance exams are just like me. The long-term high-pressure study made me breathless. Occasionally, I skipped class on a whim and slipped out of the house to play while my mother was away. I locked up my tutor. outside the door.

When my mother received a complaint call from the tutor and called me in a hurry, I was wandering around the streets and alleys of this city.

I was wearing slippers that I forgot to change, and I didn’t even wear socks. My feet were frozen blue, and I was wrapped in a loose down jacket. I walked around like a crazy person, and I just took a few glances when I saw something interesting. .

I don't have a wallet with me, I don't have a metal coin in my pocket, I only have a mobile phone that keeps buzzing, but I don't bother to answer it.

I met a classmate on the way, saw me confirming for a few seconds in astonishment, and then came over to say hello, "Bei Yinan, I haven't seen you for a long time. The teacher said you were sick. Are you feeling better now?"

I smiled, shrunk my neck in distaste for the cold, sucked in the frozen snot and replied, "It's pretty good."

The man probably didn't believe me very much, he looked at my bare ankle suspiciously, and must have thought in his heart, "People say that Bei Yinan is crazy, it seems to be true, this disease is not cured", but he was embarrassed Authentic: "Okay, that's good, it's cold outside today, you should go home early, see you at the beginning of school."

"Uh-huh."

After the classmate left, I wandered around for a while, and finally felt that my behavior of twitching in the cold wind was very stupid.

The wind has blown enough, the snot and tears have been blown out, and my heart is not so blocked, I began to miss the heating and air conditioning at home, so I turned around and prepared to go home, but when I passed a hot pot restaurant at the intersection, I couldn’t help Live stopped.

It's been a while since I saw He Yebei, and when I saw him again, my calm heart suddenly became turbulent.

(End of this chapter)