Our youth is over

Chapter 31 Ending (2)
I know that He Yebei will not chase this time, because it is too painful to poke the wound open and bring it to the table. He needs a buffer time, just like I also need time to dilute the truth that has been lingering for five years.

3
After seeing He Yebei, I ran back to the dormitory without the strength anymore, and sat alone on the audience chair above the plastic playground crying. Xiao Jiang came to accompany me after receiving the call.

I cried and asked Xiao Jiang, what is the most regretful thing he has done in his life when he grows up.

Xiao Jiang said that she didn't find out that she likes Qi Qinghan earlier.Many loves don't know who is true love until the end, but true love may not wait for you.

And me?What I regret the most is that I didn't like brother Xiao Jiang but fell in love with a lonely young man He Yebei.

If at the beginning, Xiao Jiang and I had listened to our parents, played with each other since childhood, looked at each other eye to eye, and kissed each other, then Xiao Jiang would not provoke Qi Qi, and I would not help him find Qi Qi. If Qi wants to make a phone call, Qiqi will not be friends with us, our world will not have Lu Xia, He Yebei, and Lin Zhishen's stop, we will flirt like other couples, loving each other, little girl Brother Jiang and Xiaobei are all lifelong relatives.There is no pain, only sweetness.

But if there is no if, you can't even make a mistake in life.Since your feet are on thorns, you have to bear the pain yourself.

He Yebei said that his love died five years ago, the first person he loved was me, and the last person he loved was also me.I am very grateful to him, and finally untied the knot in my heart. I can finally know for sure that He Yebei five years ago is from the south of Aibei, which is the same as the story I told Xu Xu and the others.

It's just that I finally know clearly that He Yebei five years later has only sympathy, pity, and responsibility for Bei Yinan.His love is dead, and he can't love anymore.But I lied, my love is not dead, my love has been alive for five years, living in my body in a sick way.

Women are always more emotional than men, and they are always more passionate than men.I don't want He Yebei to come back to me because of guilt, and live in his guilt for his mother, so I would rather let go, he deserves better, and I will be happy.

The sun is always after the storm, and there is always a smile after the pain and crying.

Xiao Jiang hugged me who was tired from crying and sat in the dusk, and said, "Xiao Bei, when we can't move anymore, you and brother can make a pair. Perhaps, we should have done this long ago."

I leaned my head on Xiao Jiang's shoulder, looked at the sunset at dusk, and sighed: "You still have Shu Lei!"

"Brother and Shu Lei have broken up, I just haven't told you. She thinks I don't love her enough, and every time you have something to do, she will leave her and come to you. I can't see her being angry or sad. Feeling unhappy with me, she asked to break up. At first, I thought she was the only one in my life, and it was not a vigorous love, but after all, we have been together for so long, but since she feels unhappy, I will let her go Let's go! Besides, I now know who is living in my heart, I really can't give Shu Lei the love she wants, it's not fair to her. "

"When you want Qiqi to still be around, how happy she would be to say these words!" I sighed, thinking of Qiqi, always sentimental.

Xiao Jiang smiled bitterly: "Yeah, Qi Qinghan is too stingy, she doesn't give anyone time to grow up, so she just walks away like this. When I get old and die, and see her underground, I will You must ask her why she was so stupid in the first place."

"You won't be able to see her if you go underground, Qiqi is in the sky."

"Anyway, you can see it when you die."

"I also want to meet Mother He, and I would like to ask why I don't like Xiaobei and disagree with Xiaobei and Yebei. Is it because Yebei gave up the college entrance examination for Xiaobei? But the college entrance examination can be repeated, but life cannot, Neither is first love, nor is love, nor is youth, nor is life, why can't she leave later."

As we spoke, I leaned against Xiao Jiang and cried again.Jiang Chengrui patted my shoulder to comfort me gently, and I could feel his tears streaming down my face.

Brother Jiang, who rarely cried, cried again. He said, "Xiao Bei, everything is over. Happiness will come, but it's too late."

"Wrong, happiness has come, but it's gone again."

"We didn't catch it."

"Well, we didn't catch it."

When He Yebei came to visit my house, I was outside for an interview. My mother called me in a hurry and said, "That bastard has come to our house, come back soon."

Who is that bastard?I asked my mother on the phone, and my mother replied in a bad tone, Mr. He's house.

I instantly realized that it was He Yebei!But why did He Yebei run to my house?
My temples were throbbing all the way home, and I saw He Yebei kneeling at the door of my house with a sincere face, surrounded by a pile of smashed gifts, and all kinds of neighbors watching the fun, my mother blocked the door, panting Cursing at him was completely different from the flattering smile at He Yebei at He Pili's house five years ago.

My mother scolded and scolded just a few words, every sentence was dirty, but there was no reason for every sentence.Because she didn't dare to scold He Yebei for abandoning me, and my neighbors knew that I broke up with my little boyfriend in high school, but they didn't know about it.

A lot of words will damage the reputation, especially for girls, reputation is very important.

"Auntie, I'm here to propose to Xiaobei! Please marry Xiaobei to me!"

He Yebei begged my mother sincerely, and I stood there blankly, speechless looking at He Yebei like this, but felt my nose was very sore.

Why did he do this for me...

The neighbors all looked at He Yebei with crazy expressions, and their eyes fell on me again. They must be thinking that this kid is out of his mind. He looks talented and has extraordinary manners. Kneeling and being scolded again, the whole appearance is humble.

"You go! Even if my daughter hides at home for the rest of her life, she won't be ruined by you again!" My mother was so angry that she took a feather duster from the house and rushed out, waving it towards He Yebei.

He Yebei just frowned and didn't say a word when he hit it all at once.It seemed to hit me, I felt pain all over my body, I couldn't bear to watch it again, before my mother hit the second time, I rushed out from the crowd of onlookers, blocked in front of He Yebei, and threw my mother into the house Push, without looking back at He Yebei.

"He Yebei! You go back! I won't marry you!"

"Xiao Bei, marry me! I will be responsible for you." He Yebei's voice came from behind.

I locked my mother in the room, clutching the doorknob, and blocked the door to prevent her from coming out. I looked at He Yebei and said sadly: "You are so useless, even if you can let go of the guilt towards your mother." , I can't let go when I'm with you, I also have a conscience, and I will feel guilty and blame myself. He Yebei, it's not like you don't have nothing to look for, so why bother looking for me! You don't love me, why did you marry me! "

"Love." He Yebei said, looking at me sadly.

I shook my head: "No, what you love is the original Bei Yinan, not mine. You sympathize with me, but sympathy is not love. You go, don't come again!"

After I finished speaking, before He Yebei got up from the ground and grabbed my hand, I opened the door, ran in, and quickly closed the door, leaving only He Yebei knocking on the door without giving up.

"Bei Yinan, tell me! What should I do!" He Yebei yelled sadly.

"Get out!" My mother also responded frantically, holding me tightly with both hands and crying.

Why does my mother hate He Yebei so much? She rushed to the United States and saw that the person who had the accident was neither a ghost nor a ghost. No parent would forgive her daughter who was raised by herself for doing that.

My mom is, and so is my dad.

He Yebei was still knocking on the door, my mother and I hugged and wept together, I seemed to hear my dad’s voice coming back, I heard him scolding He Yebei, and I heard people around telling me “Don’t beat me, old man”, but He Yebei could not hear a sound.

I finally relented, and I couldn't bear anyone to hit him.There is nothing wrong with He Yebei, neither of us is wrong, it's just that love came at the wrong time and at the wrong time, so it would be better if it came a few years later.

I don't want to agree to He Yebei's marriage proposal because I don't want him to feel sorry for his mother in order to make up for his guilt towards me.I don't want him to suffer, not at all.But he is so persistent.

"Xiao Bei, don't open the door!"

My mother hugged me and refused to let me open the door to see He Yebei. I struggled and cried, begging my mother to let go and my father to stop beating me.

My mother was determined not to let me see He Yebei this time, and when the door opened, He Yebei had already left.Later I learned from other people's dictation that He Yebei was beaten away by my father.My father beat him very hard, and there was still blood from He Yebei at the door of the house.

Looking back, it really felt like a nightmare.

4
After that time, I never saw He Yebei until I graduated in the next semester of my senior year, and he never came to my house again.After Yao Qianyu finished his internship and before leaving our school, he gave me an address, which was He Yebei’s new home in the United States. Yao Qianyu said that he went back to the United States because He Pili was sick abroad and had no one to take care of him.

Yao Qianyu learned about the matter between me and He Yebei from Xu Xu, and said to me with emotion before leaving: "He is a good man, but he does not belong to me. Many times, joys and sorrows are doomed, even if tortured It is also destined, since you are destined to be so entangled, then don't give up. You know, the law of energy conservation, pain and happiness are equal. Sometimes love is a matter of pain and happiness."

Yao Qianyu left, but I didn't look for He Yebei.Rather than saying that I have no courage, it is better to say that I want to give everyone a little more time to think about it.

Before graduation, everyone made arrangements. Dingdang went back to his hometown to work in a bank, Xiaoying was admitted to a graduate student in a famous university as he wished, Xuxu was going to Beijing to develop, Xiaojiang went to the army after graduation, and came out in the future so that he could go to his father work there.And I, working as a small clerk in a small company, lived the expected peaceful life.

Before graduation, Xu Xu suddenly confessed his love to Xiao Jiang. In fact, he could already tell that Xu Xu was interested in Xiao Jiang. If one person is not interested in another person, why should the other people not quarrel, but only quarrel with that person.It's just that I thought they could do it, but Xu Xu was rejected by Xiao Jiang.Xiao Jiang said that he still has Qiqi in his heart, and he can still see Qiqi's shadow when he looks at Xuxu.He has a good impression of Xu Xu, but he is not sure whether his good impression of Xu Xu is due to her like Qiqi, or because of Xu Xu himself.Before he figured this out, he wouldn't accept Xu Xu. He was afraid that one day, he would find out that what he liked was only the shadow of Xu Xu, and that would be too hurtful.

As expected, people become more mature as they experience more things, but Xiao Jiang still hurt Xu Xu, and Xu Xu who confessed to being rejected left sadly the next day.Xiao Jiang also complained that he was impatient, so if he confessed a few more times, maybe he would soften his heart.He has soft ears, but Xu Xu is not.

Xu Xu is proud, just like Qiqi.

On the day of Qiqi's death, I went to the cemetery, and Xiao Jiang didn't get leave because the troops couldn't leave, so she cried with me on the phone, asking if Qiqi would be angry with him.I smiled back at him, if I wanted to get angry with him, Qi Qi would never be able to finish it.I ran into Brother Qiang and the others on the way, and everyone talked and laughed to watch Qiqi together.It is said that friendship and love in youth cannot withstand scrutiny. I don’t know about others, but I only know that the friendship between Qi Qi’s buddies was really deep, and it moved me deeply.

Sometimes it's because I was young in school, I didn't have much scheming, and I didn't have any conflicts of interest or purpose, so the friendship was relatively pure. After leaving the school and entering the society, everything became complicated.Everything seems to be true, and everything seems to be false, true and false can not be distinguished, and emotions are the same.

A group of us stood in front of Qiqi’s grave and recalled our youth. Youth was getting farther and farther away from us. Only Qiqi was alone, always young and beautiful.

After watching Qiqi and going back, I met a person who made me unbelievable.I thought he would never forgive me in this life, but he stood downstairs in my house, very much like the bearded and staring him on the podium in high school, and he yelled at me seriously: "Bei Yinan, come here!"

I walked towards He Pili, my teacher whom I hadn't seen for many years, who I once called "future father-in-law" and who I thought would hate me for the rest of my life. Tears welled up in my eyes.

"Teacher Ho……"

He Pili patted my shoulders with trembling hands, and said with a moving mustache, "Bei Yinan, why are you still the same, not very promising!"

I cried so hard that I couldn't make a sound.

He Pili took my hand, patted the back of my hand and said emotionally: "Xiao Bei, take me to meet your parents. There are some things that children can't say clearly, so it's better to be an adult. I also told Ye Bei Now, his mother's heart disease was brought out from her mother's womb. No one can blame others for leaving. He has nothing to blame. His mother is no longer there, but Bei Yinan is still there. Making up for this kind of thing is useless to people who are not there. Life I have been alive for so many decades, why bother to be so entangled at such a young age. In high school, my parents didn't want you to fall in love, but they wanted you to be good. Now, I want you to be together, and it is also for your own good..."

He Pili held my hand all the way, chattering.Those rough old hands patted the back of my hand lightly again and again, as if hitting me, every time, it was very warm and touching.

He Pili wanted to talk to me. We didn't take the elevator but took the stairs. I walked up one step at a time, and I was already in tears.

He Yebei stood at the door of the elevator, looked at us with a calm expression, and stretched out his hand towards me. He Pili let go of my hand, waved his hand, and said, "Go."

I walked quickly to the front of my house and rang the doorbell.

The bell rang again and again, as if it had been a lifetime.

He Yebei has been holding me tightly, very tightly...

The door was slowly opened, and my parents stood at the door in shock, looking at us speechlessly. Slowly, I saw that their eyes were red.

Those painful pasts will eventually fade away with time...

(End of this chapter)