aren't we in love

Chapter 36 Don't look back, why don't you forget

On moonless nights, the bright colored lights of the streamers of city lights projected into the house.The window is wide open, and the night wind lifts the screen, and the streamer flickers on and off as the screen is lifted.Cheng Duanwu stood in front of the window with her arms crossed. She quietly looked at the city lit by lights outside the window. It was very lively. It seemed that the carnival continued even at night, which was different from the vitality of the quiet east.It was obviously an extremely warm atmosphere, but Cheng Duanwu felt extremely lonely.

It has been nearly a year since I came to this strange city.But everything still seemed to happen last night.All the painful nightmares always visit in the middle of the night, constantly haunting Cheng Duanwu.

The big accident that almost shocked the whole city was strangely blocked all news one day after it happened.Only occasionally when it is mentioned on the Internet, it attracts a lot of embarrassment.

Cheng Duanwu's determination is only for a moment.There is only such a tragic ending between her and Lu Yingqin.So she made such a choice without looking back.They sank into the deep sea together with Lu Yingqin.The intrusion of seawater was a slow process, inch by inch, gradually filling up the compartment, and Cheng Duanwu was completely submerged in the seawater, floating in the compartment.For a moment, Cheng Duanwu felt that every cell in his body relaxed, which was the bewitchment brought to her by death.When living so tired, death also becomes very attractive.In the suffocating salty sea water, Cheng Duanwu was extremely calm, as if he was really relieved.

The cold seawater submerged into her head, and entered her body from all pervasive places, even the texture of her skin seemed to be swollen.Cheng Duanwu couldn't breathe, but every part of her body felt smooth and everything belonged.

She and Lu Yingqin.After all, no one owes anyone.

At the moment when she gave up all vitality and slowly closed her eyes, she felt that someone was struggling to break the car door locked by her from the inside under strong pressure.In such a chaotic situation, she didn't even see who it was, she just felt that her body became light and almost weightless, someone locked her underarms and dragged her out of the car filled with sea water.The seawater that filled her eyes blurred her vision and confused her consciousness. The air in her lungs was consumed inch by inch, and her chest was suffocated and painful.

She felt drowsy and gradually lost her strength. Just as she was about to let go of her hands and fell asleep, she felt a cold and soft touch on her lips, and an extremely thin air was pushed into her lungs bit by bit, extremely The drowsiness was relieved a little.

Exhausting her last strength, she stretched her eyes wide open. The sea water made her eyes astringent, but she could still see clearly the person who was trying to give her oxygen——Lu Yingqin.

That was perhaps the most peaceful state between Cheng Duanwu and Lu Yingqin over the years.No feuds, no quarrels, no endless torture.Lu Yingqin tried his best to protect her, he didn't want her to die.

At that moment, Cheng Duanwu's dry tear glands suddenly felt moist.

That's enough, she might as well love him once.At least at such times, he didn't run away from her, even though he knew she wanted him to die, he still came to save her.

In this way, it is really enough.

If there is a next life, I hope they can all be ordinary people, busy and passing by in this crowded world.

Whether she loves her or not, she never wants to have anything to do with Lu Yingqin again.

When Cheng Duanwu bumped into Lu Yingqin, he never thought that he could survive.It's a pity that good luck tricked people, when she opened her eyes again, what she saw was a child whose eyes were red from crying, and an old man who was already an octogenarian.

Seeing Cheng Duanwu open his eyes weakly, the child who had been immersed in deep fear and sadness burst into tears, crying hoarsely.Cheng Duanwu's paralyzed heart finally began to recover bit by bit, and Cheng Duanwu cried because of his guilt.She had no strength in her hands, but she still tried to hold the baby in her arms.

She didn't speak for a long time, but when she opened her mouth, she was so dumb that she could hardly make a sound: "Good boy, don't cry, don't cry."

"Mom, mom, mom..." At this moment, he seemed unable to speak, sobbing and calling Cheng Duanwu, every sound touched Cheng Duanwu's heart and lungs, and Cheng Duanwu felt that every inch was painful .A child who is always smart matures earlier than children of the same age, and he has always been so strong that Cheng Duanwu feels distressed.Over the years, she has never really given up her child cruelly.But thinking back on her crazy actions, she was so regretful that all the blood in her body was screaming.

"Mom...why don't you want winter anymore..." Dongdong opened his eyes wide open, and his voice was clearly aggrieved, but he didn't complain, he was just sad, just reluctant to let go.

"I'm sorry." Bitter tears ran across the dry corners of his mouth, stinging the open wound on his lips, but Cheng Duanwu felt no pain, as if all the pain could not compare with the weight of the child's tears.

How crazy is she?How irresponsible?She had brought him into this world rashly, but in the end she was going to leave him alone?

"I'm sorry, mom, I'm sorry for you..." She tightened her hand, tears blurred her vision, she kept apologizing, but she felt that nothing was enough.

She didn't know how long it took, but the child fell asleep crying, and Cheng Duanwu hugged him distressedly, and no one was allowed to approach him.

The old man who had been standing aside without speaking finally spoke. He stood with his hands behind his back, turned around silently, and turned his back to Cheng Duanwu, with blame in his tone: "Now I can't bear to part with my child? What did you do earlier?"

He snorted coldly, "Just like that girl, selfish, only thinking about herself, never thinking about what others should do."

Cheng Duanwu knew that the "girl" he was talking about was his mother Ou Lianyue, so he retorted instinctively: "I'm not..." But he couldn't continue.How should she argue?As a mother, her sins are beyond reproach.

Ou Hanwen glanced at her coldly, "If I didn't feel something was wrong and sent someone to follow you quietly, you would have died tens of thousands of times earlier. How could you be so brainless? Even if it's revenge, you should kill that man ? How to send yourself to death?!"

Cheng Duanwu lowered his head, his brows were ashamed, "If I live, if I still carry the winter, one day, he will find me, and then find the child. Two goals are better than one. Big. I don't want, I don't want my kids to live under his captivity."

Ou Hanwen frowned, and stared coldly at Cheng Duanwu. Such sharp eyes almost made all the dark thoughts in Cheng Duanwu's mind invisible.

"Why make excuses for yourself? An idiot who is dazzled by so-called hatred. Who are you going to throw your responsibility on? A person who doesn't even want his own life, who will help you take care of your son? Revenge? Are you doing it for revenge or Want to free yourself? I think you know best in your heart."

"I..." Cheng Duanwu stared blankly at Ou Hanwen, unable to utter a single rebuttal.

"You don't need to explain anything to me, I don't want to hear it." Ou Hanwen approached step by step, looking down at Cheng Duanwu: "You are also lucky, the injury is not serious, and you wake up early. When you get better, take Your son will go abroad. Someone will protect you."

"Grandpa..." Cheng Duanwu didn't know what to say, and the emotions in his heart were extremely complicated.

"I don't even have a daughter, where can I find a granddaughter?"

"Then... Mr. Ou, thank you..."

"You don't need to thank me. If you want to thank me, please thank God. Please let me spare you and let you escape. Before the man wakes up after being injured more than you, you should go quickly."

Cheng Duanwu agreed, and then asked anxiously after a while: "I'm leaving, what do you do? He will definitely not let you go."

Ou Hanwen sneered: "By him?" His eyebrows were full of certainty: "Since I let you go, there will be no problems. You should worry about yourself."

Time flies, and it has been more than a year since that almost crazy accident.But the accident still cast a deep shadow on everyone.For example, in winter, he followed Cheng Duanwu every step of the way for half a year. Even at night, he insisted on not sleeping, fearing that Cheng Duanwu would disappear again.

Children's actions always don't know how to turn around and cover up.It was precisely because this was his instinctive reaction that Cheng Duanwu felt so sad.

Cheng Duanwu, who has never touched books since graduating from high school, took his children to live in a strange city in a strange country.They lived in fear for the first six months.There is a language barrier, and everything is frighteningly unfamiliar.The mother and son have been relying on each other for warmth, especially after the accident, the child has become extremely sensitive, and even the slightest change will make him vulnerable and vulnerable.Everything made Cheng Duanwu feel suffocated and uncomfortable.

After half a year of peaceful life, Cheng Duanwu began to communicate with his neighbors in simple English.And gradually integrated into this kind of life.

In the past, her vision had always been too narrow.There are 60 billion people in the world, as long as they want to hide, no matter how powerful Lu Yingqin is, it will be difficult to find them overnight.If she had figured out these principles earlier, wouldn't everything be different?
In the middle of the night, woke up from a nightmare, Cheng Duanwu got up and stood by the window to blow the wind, so that his tired and heavy head could be relieved.

The sky is lit up by the bustling city, even if there are no stars, it is like daytime.

Everything in the dream seemed to be still last night, but it was clearly gone.Cheng Duanwu understood everything, but was still shackled by memories.She sighed softly, and recalled a sentence she had read with infinite regret:

Neither turn back, why did not forget.Since there is no fate, why make an oath.Tonight and Hexi, you are already strangers.

It has been more than a year since the accident that almost killed Lu Yingqin.Whether it was Lu Yingqin himself or the people around Lu Yingqin, they tacitly never mentioned that matter.

It took Lu Yingqin half a year to recover. His left hand, which was missing a finger, was severely disabled.

For that accident, he remembered almost every second of development clearly.Like the explanation of a movie, it is detailed to the action of each frame.

The sound of the engine running at high speed on the phone pierced the eardrums, and he asked Cheng Duanwu: "What are you doing! Where are you!"

There was no answer on the phone, so I hung up.But the sound of the high-speed engine did not disappear from the ears, but got closer and closer.He turned his head almost subconsciously, and saw a vehicle approaching him at high speed.

And Cheng Duanwu was the driver with a determined face.

She's going to kill him.

This was the only consciousness in his mind at that moment.

It turned out that she already hated him so much.My heart aches for no apparent reason.This cognition made him stand in the same place numbly, unable to even dodge.

The high-speed SUV hit his back, pushed him straight and broke the guardrail on the coast, and he and the car fell into the sea together.He fell into the sea with high tide and high tide with great momentum.Unexpectedly, it was the sea that saved his life. The buoyancy of the sea water reduced the impact of the car, and he recovered his life from under Cheng Duanwu's car.

Enduring the severe pain in his body, he instinctively wanted to swim back to the surface of the sea, but when he saw the car sinking little by little before his eyes, Lu Yingqin suddenly turned back.

He's not one to complain about.For those who have hurt him, he has always retaliated tenfold or a hundredfold.But at that moment, he had no resentment towards Cheng Duanwu in his heart.

At the last moment of falling into the sea, Cheng Duanwu's desperate and complicated eyes seemed to look into Lu Yingqin's heart.Lu Yingqin felt intimidated by that look.Unexpectedly, he had mixed feelings.

He didn't even realize what he was thinking at that moment, but subconsciously, he didn't want Cheng Duanwu to die like this, nor did he want them to really end like this.

Cheng Duanwu once told him that everything between them was a bad relationship.But even if it is a bad fate, it is also an impossible fate.He doesn't want to give up.

Exhausting all his strength, Lu Yingqin smashed the car window, and Cheng Duanwu, who had given up his vitality, had already closed his eyes. Her self-destructive appearance made Lu Yingqin feel like he was stung by something.

He dragged her out with all his strength, and gave her the rare and thin air in his lungs. He saved her in his own way, even though he knew that maybe, this was a way to make the two of them die faster.

When he rushed out of the sea level and led Cheng Duanwu back to the shallow water shore, the last trace of strength in his body disappeared, and he didn't even have time to find out if Cheng Duanwu was still alive...

When he woke up again, he was already in the hospital, with heavy eyelids, and he tried to focus his slack eyesight, but he couldn't find Cheng Duanwu's shadow.

Guan Yi remained silent despite his repeated questioning, his livid face made Lu Yingqin's thoughts more and more determined.

On the third day after he woke up, he calmly looked at the almost dazzling sunlight outside the ward, and tried to calm himself: "She died, didn't she?"

It was clearly a question sentence, but the tone was extremely firm.

Guan Yi didn't speak, and after a long time, he slowly replied: "Yes."

Although he was mentally prepared, when Lu Yingqin heard this idea with his own ears, he still felt dizzy.Everything that happened in the deep sea was pieced together and restored in his mind bit by bit.Before swimming back to the surface, Cheng Duanwu had completely closed her eyes. I don't know if it was the buoyancy of the sea water or her body was really weightless.Even though he was carrying her, Lu Yingqin didn't feel heavy at all.

Maybe, maybe... During these three days, he kept telling himself, no, she wouldn't really die like this.Somewhere, he always felt that he could still feel her breath...

"Dead?" Even though he was extremely thin, Lu Yingqin still looked handsome, but his eyes were black and his lips were dry and peeled off. His eyes were full of doubt and disbelief: "Have you found the body? Are you sure it's her?" Is it gone?"

Guan Yi frowned tightly, "I didn't find the body, but there was no trace of her at all, maybe... rushed elsewhere..."

No body found?

This is undoubtedly the best news for Lu Yingqin, and his eyes finally regained some light: "As long as the body is not found, it proves that he may still be alive! Keep looking! If you are alive, you will see a person, if you are dead, you will see a corpse!"

For a year, every time a floating corpse appeared near the coastline, Lu Yingqin would always put down his work and rush to identify the corpse. Every time he went there nervously, he was relieved when he finally saw that it wasn't her.

At least, at least not her, which proves that she might still be alive.

This is already the best news for Lu Yingqin.

Cheng Duanwu disappeared, and her son also disappeared with the world. Lu Yingqin was not without suspicion. He kept sending people to search everywhere and checked all the exit records he could find.Returned empty handed every time.There is no news, nothing can be found.

In the past, he always threatened Cheng Duanwu, telling her that she could not escape from his palm, no matter where she went to the ends of the world, he could easily catch her.

But what about the facts?
The fact is, among the 60 billion people on earth, no matter how powerful he is, Lu Yingqin, he still can't find that woman named "Cheng Duanwu".

For a year, no one mentioned Cheng Duanwu in front of him.She became Lu Yingqin's minefield, and no one dared to make a mistake.He doesn't mention it himself.He worked desperately, made himself so busy that his stomach hurt, and he was so drunk when he was socializing. He thought that this kind of life would relieve the terrible loneliness that came after losing Cheng Duanwu.

However, every time when everyone wakes up in the middle of the night, facing the empty room, facing the vaguely scented and faint figure left by Cheng Duanwu, he realizes that Cheng Duanwu has been unknowingly for a long time. Unknowingly, it settled in his heart, no matter how unwilling he was to admit it, he had already fallen in love with her.

Even though, this feeling of love is so silent.Even though, the response of this love came so late.But this feeling became stronger day by day, he often had hallucinations, as if that person was still in a certain corner of the room, waiting for him to come back, waiting to be at war with him.

He immersed himself in reviewing the documents, when Guan Yi knocked on the door and came in, he stood upright in front of the desk, hesitated for a long time before saying: "There is an unknown corpse near the sea, do you want to go and see it?"

Lu Yingqin's writing hand paused, and the pen hissed to draw a long mark on the paper.He was silent for a while, then raised his head and asked Guan Yi: "Over the past year, how many times have I identified dead bodies?"

"47 times." Guan Yi reported the data without thinking.

Lu Yingqin narrowed his eyes slightly, and said with infinite regret: "It turns out that so many people die in a year near the sea."

Guan Yi stared at Lu Yingqin, unable to grasp his emotions for a moment, he remained silent and did not answer.

I saw Lu Yingqin slowly put down the pen.Got up, walked to the window, opened the blinds, and looked out the window quietly, "There are so many people dying in a year in the sea, what's so strange about her being one more? I'm afraid I'm the only one who can save a life with a big life." A tough person, right?"

Guan Yi tilted his head slightly, looking at Lu Yingqin's back: "Boss..."

Lu Yingqin didn't wait for Guan Yi to speak, and made a decision on his own: "From today onwards, she's dead. If you recognize the body, you don't have to go again."

At the last moment when Cheng Duanwu hung up the phone, she said calmly on the phone: "Lu Yingqin, after today, we will not owe each other anything."

Between them, who owes whom?In this life, I may never have a chance to sort it out.The scars he had drawn on her heart in the past, she retaliated in the worst way.

Maybe, enough, everything, should stop.

Until, this moment, this last moment...

(End of this chapter)