aren't we in love

Chapter 51 Extra Story: If I Met You Like This
It's getting dark again, and I haven't been out for a long time.Every time I go out, I go to the clinic.The doctor said my depression is getting worse.Every time I prescribed a lot of sleep aids.I don't know that these drugs may make me die, but they can't make me sleep.

Because I have people I have to be awake to face.

I can't remember why I married Yu Dong now.Maybe it's because of love.It should be love. How much do I love him to torture myself into this inhuman and ghost-like appearance?I really do not know.

Getting to know Yu Dong was a very bizarre experience, like many romance novels written, a little funny and a little romantic.Maybe, I'm just stupid to believe that all good beginnings are to get a good result?
At that time, I was still in college, and Yu Dong had been in the society for many years.Different from ordinary riffraff, he looks stable and kind, tall, but he is not the kind of handsome guy whose eyes are crescent-shaped when he smiles, which makes people want to bully him.

The first time I met him, he was talking to a group of young lads in front of the school's supermarket.The other three boys were smoking, but he was the only one who wasn't smoking. I couldn't help but take another look.

I like men who don't smoke, but I didn't take a second look at him because I liked him at that time. I only looked at him because his eyes straightened and stared at me when he saw me.I hate such unscrupulous gazes from men, so I stared at him without hesitation.

Afterwards, just like a normal plot, he didn't know why he was so thick-skinned, he found someone to inquire about my phone number, and then started pursuing shamelessly.

But he's really not talented, and kind of stupid.Every day when he finished his work, it was already one or two o'clock in the morning, and he still called me to "confess his heart" to me without hesitation.Every time I was so angry that I vomited blood, he would say innocently: "Brothers told me that girls like men who often call and care about her."

I was so angry that I couldn't help scolding him: "Calling during the day is for concern, calling in the middle of the night is harassment!"

Yu Dong was stunned, then smiled and said, "Then I've harassed you for so long, can you just accept me?"

I rolled my eyes, "Are you sick? Why do you like me, can I change it?"

Yu Dong said: "I like your beauty, can you change it?"

I don't know why I was so vain, but when he said that, my heart softened, and I died after cursing something crazy.

My heart is sweet.

Later, Yu Dong never called me in the middle of the night again.Because I finally agreed to be his girlfriend.He's totally the 24-hour boyfriend in our dorm room.Let me shout and drink, come and go in the wind and rain.Sometimes I can't help but think in my heart when I see him brave the bad weather to deliver food and supplies to me.

Could it be that this man really owed me in his previous life, so he will treat me so well in this life?

I married him before I knew anything.

Because I am pregnant.

I hadn't graduated from school then.Think back to our first time.For me, it is an experience I will never forget.

Yu Dong lives in such a circle, but he is notoriously honest.Sincere and honest, the relationship between men and women is pure, and I have never talked about a girlfriend.Is an "old virgin".

It was a Christmas.He took me for a walk on the pedestrian street, I glanced at the time, it was past twelve o'clock, and I would definitely not be able to go back to the dormitory.Yu Dong rubbed my chilly hands and said, "It's so late, I'll take you home, it's cold outside."

I was so angry at his stupid look, I gave him a blank look: "Why are you so stupid, I'm still out so late, don't you know how to take me to your house?"

Hearing what I said, Yu Dong's eyes lit up: "Are you willing?"

I turned my head away, my ears were hot, "I don't want to, then you can take me home."

Yu Mutou was not stupid at the critical moment.Immediately hugged me tightly and said: "Okay, I will carry my wife back to the bridal chamber tonight."

Then he literally picked me up.

The snow fell harder and harder that day, but he carried me a long way.

I watched the sharp-edged snowflakes fall on top of his head, and I breathed maliciously on the snowflakes, which melted into water vapor and wet his hair.

He shivered, and I hugged his neck tightly.Can't help but say: "Yu Dong, will you treat me so well for the rest of your life?"

Yu Dong smiled: "I'm not good to you, who is it good to?"

We had an extremely chaotic night that day.We don't know anything about men and women, we just act on instinct.Afterwards he hugged me cherishingly and said to me: "Mingyue, thank you for giving me such a precious thing."

I shyly turned my back to him and said stiffly, "I think I can't let it go bad, so I'll leave it to you."

Yu Dong hugged me and laughed all the time. We laid our heads against each other and planned many, many blueprints.

At that time, I thought I had the greatest happiness in the world.

I didn't tell Yu Dong that day.The most precious thing I gave him was not my first time, but my heart.

I hadn't finished college when I married him.My dad resolutely kicked me out of the house when he found out about us.

He couldn't accept such a shameless daughter.He has lived a regular life all his life, and he can't understand the "shocking" in our love.

When I knew I was pregnant, I also thought about killing the child.But when I looked at Yu Dong's gentle face, I couldn't bear it.

I love him so much, for him, I can give up everything.He likes this kid, and I'll make it happen for him.

After I became pregnant, he broke away from the original circle.It was hard going ashore, and we had a hard time at first.But he endured everything for me and my daughter.

At that time, I was really happy. After a few years of happiness, I couldn't believe it. It was all fake.

The first time I knew his true intentions was when he returned from a business trip to a coastal city and happily gave me a pair of earrings.

I will never forget the look on his face at that time.

He said to me: "Mingyue, when I saw this pair of earrings, I couldn't help but bought them. You must look good in them. It's similar to the ones you wore on your birthday before."

I took the delicate box containing the earrings.Did not brush loose hair.I don't want to tell him that I don't actually have pierced ears.

After that, every time he went on a business trip, he would buy me earrings.I was like crazy, with a pair of studs.But I don't want to get my ears pierced anyway.

Yu Dong celebrates my birthday every year during the Dragon Boat Festival.It's like this every year, and at the end of the day, I have to ask myself, when is my birthday?Maybe I'm remembering wrong?
All the answers were revealed on my daughter Lele's birthday.

He drank a lot of wine that day and vomited all over his body. I wanted to wipe him, so I took off his coat.

His wallet slid out of his pocket, the bifold wallet unfolding.Then I saw the picture in his wallet.

It was a girl who looked very similar to me.But that's not me.Judging by the color of the photo, I am afraid it is a photo of some years ago.

Like a detective drama.My incompetent detective has solved the mystery with only superficial evidence.

Yu Dong loves me just because I look like that girl.

It is not love at first sight, there is no love without reason, and there is no tolerance without bottom line.all because,

I am a double.In place of the girl who couldn't be with him.

I don't want to expose everything, I want to go on living like an ostrich.But I still can't.I love him so much that I lose myself.

I became more and more jealous, I started to find fault, no matter what he said or did, I didn't like it.I think my posture must be ugly.But he still endured me and treated me as always.The more he is like this, the more uncomfortable I am.I ended up breaking down anyway.Like a lunatic, I quarreled with him, and I said: "Yu Dong, I'm going to divorce you, I don't love you anymore, I hate you to death."

Yu Dong hugged me like coaxing Lele, he said: "Mingyue, you are good, you just suffered from postpartum depression, and now many people suffer from this disease, don't give up, and I won't give up either."

Maybe it's really sick.I started to see a doctor, and the doctor prescribed me various sleeping pills and antidepressants. The doses were not large, and the more I took, the more resistant I became.

I later learned the girl's name, and at the same time I learned the story of her and other men.

In other people's soul-stirring stories, Yu Dong is a firm and affectionate supporting actor.And I was the cannon fodder who got into other people's stories by mistake.

Frustrate the bones and raise ashes, and there is no powder left.

When I got serious, I started journaling.Record the trivial things every day, and record how he and Yu Dong quarreled again.It seems that this is the only way to prove my existence.

I quarreled with Yu Dong, I said I cheated, I said I loved someone else, I deliberately said the name that embarrassed him, but he just smiled and tolerated me.

I finally despaired and finally understood that he can do everything for me, the only thing he can't do is fall in love with me.

How can I accept this result?I can't take it, really can't.

Later, I became more and more forgetful and stupid, but I still forgot the love and hatred towards Yu Dong who kept cutting and judging.

I always wanted to kill him, every night when he slept next to me, I always wanted to.I hide my eyebrow knife under my pillow, very sharp eyebrow knife.

Under the moonlight, I watched Yu Dong, who was completely unaware, breathing steadily.My hand is on his artery.I thought, if I hit him hard, maybe he would die?

But in the end, I just think about it.I can't kill him, I love him so much.If he dies, I can only live alone in this world without him.It's too uncomfortable.It feels like life is worse than death just by imagining it.

So I ended up choosing to kill myself.

I burned my diary, my photos, and the marriage certificate with Yu Dong.

I thought I could really leave him this way.

I wrote two letters and put them in the pockets of my coat.I thought, when he reads that letter, at least he can be angry with him. He loves Lele so much, so I will make it difficult for him.

But I was still worthless in the end, and I couldn't help but want to ask him in the end, whether he knew who I was.

Although I already know the answer.

Love is a wonderful thing sometimes.Some people love one after another, each time is true.Some people will only be serious once, and will only love one in a lifetime.

I always wish Yu Dong was the former.I hope Yu Dong will fall in love with me too.

But I also know that if Yu Dong is the latter, I will not love him.

I wrote in the letter, Yu Dong, I hope I won't meet you in the next life.

In fact, this is not what I mean.

I still want to meet him in the next life, and I hope he will be so kind to me.

God, if there really is an afterlife, can you let me meet him earlier?

Meet him before he falls in love with someone else.

(End of this chapter)