Self-control: How to take control of your time and life?

Chapter 1 Introduction The pre-class questions we discuss together (1)
Question [-]: "What's preventing us from being successful?"

We know that most people in real life are unsuccessful, or think they are unsuccessful.This is a fact, and I believe no one denies it.If I listed some options, which answer would you choose?For example, poor mobility, no dreams, too much care, inability to persevere, no background and money.At this time, you will find that there are too many reasons for you to choose, but none of them are fundamental.

What is the difference between ordinary people and successful people?In other words, what are the crucial factors that determine whether a person is "ordinary" or "successful"?Let me tell you: "A person is not successful because he does not look like a successful person." Isn't it?Do you usually seem like a successful person? In 2007, when the first course started, I asked the students to answer this question, and asked them to tell me what they really thought, without hiding anything (the intention of saving face or self-esteem would make this question meaningless, but this is exactly for my testing purposes).It turns out that only 20% of people are brave enough to admit that they are not like a successful person at all.

Student Megan said: "I look like a loser, and I think so!" Student Nina said: "Yes, I have no confidence and direction, and I don't know why." , they believe the factors for their failure could not be simpler:

"I've had the worst boss ever." "My wife is a shrew, she's destroying me!" Come out to get a new life!"

See, they are complaining, and the book of misfortune is filled with external factors, without consideration of internal causes.People often feel that they are doing a good job, have a clear conscience, and that if "someone" or "something" hadn't messed with them, they would have been doing well.It's a pity that there are always some saboteurs who jump out at the wrong time to disturb their own interests, ruin their own paths, and make themselves fall short.

This is the biggest problem, and the only way to solve it, requires you to look back at yourself, especially your inner self:
Am I going in the right direction?
If you take a path that is diametrically opposed to the south, the harder you work on this path, the farther and farther away success will be from you.But a successful person can clearly see himself and find his own direction.He knows that the future will become clear and clear only if the direction is correct, otherwise the more he pays, the worse the result will be.

Do I know my character?
Each of us has our own personality, but not everyone is aware of it.People who don’t understand themselves are very scary. If a person abandons his own personality and pursues something completely inconsistent with himself, he will enter a misty path full of thick fog, doomed to achieve nothing, be mediocre, and regret for life in the end.Character determines our destiny. How can a person who doesn't know himself control the direction of his own destiny?

Have I established my own ideals?
The truth is, everyone has their own ideals.Even so, some people can't die well even if they have lofty ideals, because they can't stick to it.Too many people are talking, but too lazy to act.

In terms of ideals, they are half-hearted and half-hearted. Today they want to be an excellent engineer, and tomorrow they want to open a shop and start a business and lead the fashion of a certain industry.Talkers are doomed to accomplish nothing.

Is there a problem with my thinking?
When the thinking is different, the effect of doing things will be different.Successful people will think carefully when doing anything, find a shortcut for themselves to avoid disadvantages, and then overcome difficulties and strive for victory.Even if our ideals are the same, only the right thinking can achieve good results, which is why many people have the same goal, but only a few people reach the end in the end.Most people lose in their own thinking, and their "ignorance" in this regard is suicide.

For example, when we define wealth, we have three requirements: a definite number, a recorded total, and visual imagination.It seems that the former two are only related to actual wealth, while the latter is related to future wealth.In fact, most people only have the third consciousness, and the first two abilities are very scarce.People like to imagine how much money they will have in the future, but they lack management, control and struggle for the opportunities and wealth in front of them.

They cannot control the present, they can only imagine the future.The end result is that they have neither present nor future!

This proves that more than 80% of people in the world cannot control the parts of their bodies that are related to the future, so there is the "80" rule: 20% of people in the world can only control 20% of their wealth, compared to the other [-]% They are all "unsuccessful or difficult to succeed people".When you realize this problem, if you have high ambitions and imagine how successful you are, you must be burnt out and sweaty by now.However, there is still time. Now you can imagine that there is a bed in front of you. For this imaginary bed, let’s do a test question:

1. Is the word "bed" or an image of a bed the first thing that comes to your mind?
2. Is the "bed" that comes to your mind neat or messy?

3. Is this an empty bed, or is there someone sleeping on it?
89% of people chose the first option, even if they were given enough time, they did not continue to imagine the details of the bed.This test shows that people's subconscious is insensitive to numbers and words, and only likes to respond to images; for the management of details, the subconscious is often unflattering.For most people, imagining themselves as a rich person is a pleasant thing. Sitting on the balcony in the afternoon and fantasizing about getting rich overnight and getting ahead one day is an act that most people are willing to do-but it doesn't determine anything.

If you really want to accumulate wealth, succeed, and control your own and even other people's lives, you must focus on the first two abilities.You need to take practical actions, and you need to fully understand yourself, grasp the steering wheel of life, and manage the reality well instead of just knowing how to plan for the future.

Successful people are good at letting their body and mind do the necessary work automatically; unsuccessful people ignore this step and their eyes are only on the distant future.

If you don't do what I say, the price will be hard to bear.In order to succeed, you have to pay a heavy price.Rich people in the real world are mostly not models of discipline, but they are models of "successful self-control"—they can do what they think is very necessary.They bravely and publicly assumed their obligations, letting everyone know their oath: "I will climb this mountain, and you will either see me waving from below, or see me fall down and die at the bottom of the valley."

And they say, "I have no choice because I can't be poor or ordinary, that's not my style!"

You will find examples of successful people surpassing themselves again and again in reality, but you are always reluctant to learn from them.Why is this?

Question [-]: "What exactly do you want?"

The biggest failure of a person is not that he doesn't get what he wants, or that he has worked hard but is still far away from success, but that he doesn't even know what he wants.

Sometimes I also think, "Hey, look at yourself, what do you want?" Looking back at our past efforts, we all find ourselves full of confusion.

If this problem cannot be solved, all our efforts will lose value, and it is easy to enter a "state of loss of control".That is to say, he looks full of energy and drive, and he is a good boy in the eyes of his parents, a good husband in the eyes of his wife, and a good father in the eyes of his children. In fact, he has no soul and no direction.

In my course, I say to the students: "Such a person is like a car with full gas, which is fast, but he has no steering wheel. This is very dangerous. Once it is time to turn, he is easy to rush. Out of the road, the car crashed and people were killed. The previous life was very beautiful and enviable, but in an instant, the tragic consequences of losing control happened."

Therefore, after solving the problem of "what do you want", read my book and learn this important 18 lessons of self-control, which can really help you.

A question has been bothering many people for a long time.That is, should he be content with the status quo and stick to the job at hand, or should he find a better goal right away?
Contemplating such options is always painful.The answer to this question really depends entirely on what you are after.You have to be clear about your goals: "What do I want? It's just a job, even if it's doing chores, or I want to have important real power, I want to be a manager, or I want to start a business of my own. , like the founder of Twitter?"

I asked, "What do you most want to gain from life?" Many trainees were silent, and they were thinking seriously, because they had never considered this question so seriously before.I then asked, "Is it wealth?"

I made the question concrete, and I got responses from [-]% of the students. Half of them chose wealth, hoping to become rich and change their current embarrassing life.

"Now imagine, if all the riches of the world were at your disposal, and all the powers of nature were at your service, and wherever you possessed omnipotent powers, what would you use them for? Do not Mind the illusion of this question, just treat it as if we were daydreaming together for a while, please take it seriously and answer me."

On this question, I still get silence.Obviously, people don't have a complete plan for this, even if they are full of fantasies about untold money and longing to wake up to be a billionaire the next day-this dream is so urgent and real, they are not prepared, I don't even know what my ideal in life is.

Even if you have an incomparable longing for success, it is not enough, because this is only the first step to realize your dream.Maybe your dream is not wealth, but a beautiful love, or the pursuit of happiness related to family affection. Only impulse and yearning are not enough to realize them.You have to picture it all in your mind, see the blueprint of it clearly.You also need to get rid of the fears and worries in your heart, so that your dreams will not be destroyed by them.

In your daily life, your mind draws this blueprint for you, so that you can make a very clear plan, start your own powerful "car", and drive on the highway to your goal.

The question each of us should ask ourselves is: "How can I rate myself?"

Question [-]: "What is self-control?"

(End of this chapter)