Self-control: How to take control of your time and life?

Chapter 28 Focus on Your Goals
How to establish a "focus" for yourself in order to change your life to the greatest extent?It's about focusing and building confidence.

Have you ever gotten mad at yourself for not living up to your potential and letting time fly by?

Have you ever found out what you want in life and can achieve it, but you can't find a path that works, so you can't say "I can" out loud?
To turn your inner "I can" voice into reality, what you need is the power of focus.It's a lesson in focus, but it's not the same as focus and willpower.Let's be honest, even if your mental strength (which includes focus and willpower) is strong, you may not be able to stay focused and feel confident.

The world tries to keep you from focusing, all the time, by flooding your eyes with endless information, most of which are useless.It's no surprise that you feel distracted and distracted.As long as you are awake, you will be flooded with advertising information every minute, pulling you in one direction.On the other hand, your family members, lovers and co-workers are also looking forward to pulling you in another direction.As a result, a little time that could have been used for thinking was taken away.In this case, if you can still focus, it's amazing - you don't even need to come to our courses.

I'll walk you through the process step-by-step: deciding what you really want, figuring out the things that have held you back in the past, how to fix them, and building a strong bridge between "can" and "achieve."Finally, I'll show you how to put all the information together into a plan that, like a new goal you set for yourself, can be followed over and over again until you're convinced of something—"I Already have the instinct to turn ideals and goals into reality, and no longer need external coercive power to supervise."

In this lesson, you learn methods that will allow you to develop a fully automatic habit that will allow you to succeed with less and less effort.

On a snow field, we held a game.I said to the three participating students: "I walked to the opposite side of the field, and then gave you a signal to start running, and you ran immediately. Whoever left the most straight footprints on the snow will be the winner of this competition. And get my prize."

It's a weird game?Don't worry, please see what the process and results can explain.After the race started, the first student kept an eye on his feet to ensure that his footprints were the straightest; the second student kept looking left and right to observe how his companions ran, for fear that they would run ahead of him and keep the footprints as straight as possible. Straight; when the third student ran forward, his eyes were fixed on me, that is, on the prize in my hand.

The competition ended soon, and No.1 was the third student. He won the victory very easily and got the prize he wanted.Also, his footprints are the straightest.In other words, those who focus on their goals and have no distractions have the last laugh.

I said to the other two students: "If you are not convinced, you can compete a few more times, and the result is still the same. Only those who focus on the goal can win No.1. Unless you have learned the method of the No.1 student, it is very difficult. It is difficult to get the prize in my hand in the current way!"

First, the goal must be clear.What is the goal?It is my prize.Louis Walker is the former president of the American Association of Financial Advisors. When answering the question of "what factors make people unable to succeed", he said: "Ambiguous goals, it hinders people's success most." You can't see clearly The prize, or the prize is uncertain, will greatly affect your actions.

For example, Lewis said: "I asked you a few minutes ago, what is your goal? You said that you hope to have a cabin on the mountain one day, which is a vague goal. The problem is that 'someday' is not clear, because Without clarity, there is little chance of success.”

For example, in the snow competition, only the third student has a very clear goal, and the other two students are not like this.Since the goals are very different in their minds, this largely determines their final outcome.It's you and someone else, isn't it?Just like you lack the concept of the opposite sex you will marry in the future, it is hard to imagine that you can successfully enter the palace of marriage.

Second, the mind must be single-minded.Once the goal to move forward is determined, focus on that goal with unwavering focus.You shouldn't be looking around, and you shouldn't just be staring at your toes.As a well-known career success scientist, Robbins elaborated on this: "Focus is the act of concentrating on a specific desire, and persisting until you have found a way to realize this desire, until you successfully use it. Until you put it into action. Once you have a goal, work hard to ensure your productivity and maximize your abilities, and take your attention away from things that have nothing to do with your goal."

No matter how excited you are or how passionate you are about what you do, when there are a lot of distractions in your life, you can easily find yourself drifting away from your goals, and the results you want are extremely difficult to achieve unless you It can improve the conditions of concentration, allowing oneself to refocus on the goal and not be controlled by distracting factors.

ignore the unwanted
I think that any advice about life or time management can be broken down to one fundamental idea: ignore the lesser things and focus on the important things that help you achieve your goals.

Now, do you keep some infrequently used things in your space?If your answer is yes, then I suggest you, throw them all away!Don't let these distractions from sight and energy take over your space.They're like some nondescript product—there's no need for you, so you should dispose of it unceremoniously.

Make up your mind to get rid of all the things you don't need.In this way, your life becomes more orderly, because the important things finally come to the surface, and all kinds of distractions and time-wasting things are successfully kicked out of the door, and they no longer drag down your life. .

Just do less and get more.It is very easy for us to understand this concept, but the difficulty is that it is not easy to formulate a goal that we like and is really important, because many people often confuse urgent things with important things.

My advice is that you never forget the really important things for the seemingly urgent ones.For most tasks, only 20% of the actions you take are really important, and the remaining 80% are trivial details that can be ignored.So, one of the most valuable life skills you can have is to distinguish between the important things and the unimportant things.It's not easy to do, but anyone can successfully improve their judgment in this area with a few basic principles and differentiation skills.

So, don't be reluctant to delete something because it's important, if it's not urgent.If you are unwilling to deal with this matter now, just tick it off without hesitation, let it disappear from your mind temporarily, and don't disturb your thinking for a short time.You can wait until two weeks later to consider the arrangements for it, which will prevent your work from piling up, leading to increased stress and emotional instability.

"could" and "feasible"

You'd better not speak out about the plans that have been made, especially "telling others everywhere".Because speaking out can create a false sense of self-fulfillment in you and weaken your motivation to carry out your plans.

Actions shape people more than words.

It is called a plan if it is feasible, otherwise it is a luxury.If you understand the importance of setting clear goals in life, then how to determine your goals and how to ensure that your goals are achieved is very important.Specifically, a successful plan should look like this:
1. What is your goal in life?How to achieve the goal?What would you like to tell future generations about you?Write them roughly on paper.

2. What kind of goals do you want to achieve in recent years?Set the main goals for the next five years in the following eight areas: career, physical strength, family, personal attitude, economy, public utilities, education and entertainment.

3. List the plans to be implemented next year.

Check the progress of your goals for this year from the above eight aspects, and implement your one-year plan on December 12 or January 31.

4. Record what to do next month.What kind of purpose is achieved, and who should be contacted in order to achieve the annual goal. 5. Record the experience of the week.And determine the activities to be carried out to achieve your goals next week.

6. Determine the specific work every day.At the end of each day's work, draw up the work items to be done tomorrow.Before going to bed every day and before getting up the next morning, check the completion of the day's work, and try not to transfer the unfinished work to the next day.

7. Design a plan to stimulate personal growth with financial success.Think about the level of income you'll be able to achieve by the time you retire, and start working on it now.Check your current balance and savings for emergencies and accidents.Plan your income and expenses for the next month, and then come up with a savings plan.

8. For each of your goals, you must consider relevant information.Gather materials that will help you accomplish your goals.Such as newspapers, books, tapes, pictures cut from magazines, consumer reports, color samples, etc., and are happy to use these.

9. Often communicate with successful people or relevant experts.This is to get their help. Carefully distinguish between dishonest people and those who really want to help you.

The following two principles will help you find the right course in life.

interrogate yourself

Ask yourself in your heart: "In this world, what do I want? What kind of purpose do I want to achieve? Have I set up a beacon of life..." "What do I want" is your life goal ; And the lighthouse of your life is the starting line of your voyage.Without a goal, there is no direction to go; without a starting line, there is no way to plan your own voyage.

Draw a blueprint of your dreams - Set aside a specific time to think about and plan your ideals.Avoid all distractions, and don't let others interrupt your train of thought.You can choose a quiet place and ask the questions alone, writing down the answers to these questions:

What is the greatest thing I can imagine myself doing in my life?What do I want in this life?Where is the desire?What talents and talents do I have?What things am I best at or better than those around me?

What am I most passionate about?What fascinates me the most?Who are the successful people I envy?What strengths should I learn from them?

Repeat the above process at least once a year, or interrogate as you feel it is necessary.This makes it easy to revise your goals in time.If you have held the same ideal for several years, and you find it more attractive in the new environment, then you have probably aimed at one of the most ideal goals in your life.Once the goal is determined, you have to express it in various ways and turn it into concrete and feasible plans and actions.Expressing your goals clearly can help you focus your focus and all your energy, unleash your potential, and make your goals achievable step by step.

Act now
After the goal is set, it is necessary to start taking action immediately.Thinking hard, not practicing, can only be daydreaming.Faced with a "possible" and "feasible" plan, you must not procrastinate.You already know that you have to chop the wood you burn, pick the water you drink, and decide the main purpose of your life, so why not put into practice what you already know and what you want What about the principle?

From now on, analyze your desires, find out what you really need, and then make up your mind to get it.When you are choosing your "definite main goal", you must keep in mind that you cannot set your goal too high or too far.Also, remember one unchanging truth: If you don't set a clear goal from the beginning, you will get nowhere.If your purpose in life is vague, your accomplishments will also be difficult to define.Find out what you need, when you need it, why you need it, and how you plan to get it.

do you often think yourself right
The basic root of self-righteousness is that he has too much self-confidence and does not trust others.This is a deviation in a person's inner judgment, but it is actually a very common psychological phenomenon.

Many psychological studies have found that people are often overconfident in their own knowledge or abilities when compared with others.For example, the psychologist Svensson found in one of his studies that if you want to evaluate your own driving level among a group of people, 90% of people will say that their driving skills are above the average level, and few people say that their driving skills are above average. Worse than average.But in fact, according to the definition of average, if 50% of the people are driving above average, there must be 50% of people driving below average.

For another example, people's overconfidence is often exploited by marketers, and some product marketing activities are designed based on people's overconfidence.You buy a printer in the US and the original price is $80.The merchant gives consumers two choices, they can get a discount on the spot, and the discount rate is 5%, that is to say, the $80 printer can be purchased for $76; consumers can also choose the way of mail-order rebates, and now buy the printer for $80. As long as the relevant vouchers are sent back to the company within 3 months of purchase, you can get a 25% discount, that is, you can get a cash back of $20, and the $20 will be sent back to the consumer in the form of a check, which is quite Yu bought one of these devices for $60.

Think about it, if you had these two options, which discount method would you choose?Most people will choose the second option, which can get a bigger discount and is naturally more attractive.But, for merchants, which way can make them earn more money?In fact, it is also the second type.In the first direct discount, each printer will definitely earn $4 less; in the second method, although it seems that each printer will earn $20 less, very few people will actually send the voucher back after buying it.Because of people's overconfidence, everyone thinks that they will send the voucher back to the company when they buy it, but they will soon forget it after buying it.According to statistics, only about 20% of customers will actually send the voucher back to the merchant after purchasing in the face of this kind of discount of around 7 yuan.

There is also an interesting phenomenon here. If the deadline given is 3 days instead of 3 months, more people will send it.Because the time limit given is short, everyone will do it well when they go back; the time limit given is long, but it makes people feel that they have plenty of time to do this, so they might as well let it go first, and then they will never think about it again.

Making good decisions requires not only knowledge of facts and connections between events, but also "knowledge of knowledge"—that is, knowing the limits of our knowledge and what is true. Which ones are questionable.Overconfidence suggests a relative lack of "knowledge of knowledge".

Self-righteousness is manifested in always thinking that you are right, even if what others say is not wrong, you don’t want to agree with them in your heart, and you like to talk big; even if you are wrong, it is difficult to correct it; you can’t listen to other people’s words, and you always think that others are not as good as yourself , usually with little regard for the feelings of others.

"I know this, but thank you for reminding me." The meaning of these words is very obvious, it means to tell the other party, such a simple question, why do you need to say it?This is a great disrespect for others.

"How can you be so stupid? You can't do this, it's wrong, you should..." This is the typical sign of self righteousness.If a person suffers from severe self-righteousness, he will often exalt himself by degrading others.Anyone who heard such an extreme evaluation must feel very uncomfortable, even if the person who said it was his boss.

Some people also like to say: "You know what, there is absolutely nothing wrong with what I said." But in this world, there are few absolute things and many things are relative. Talking like this will only make others think you are too serious. Subjective and too rigid.

(End of this chapter)