Self-control: How to take control of your time and life?

Chapter 34 Appendix (2)
Breathing training for the diaphragmatic muscles is very simple and convenient, and can be done at work or at home.It can quickly relax our tension and enter a calm mood, which has the effect of stabilizing emotions and restoring reason.

Deep Muscle Relaxation Training
To relax a muscle, first tense it and then relax it.In the self-control class, we call it "tension-relaxation cycle training", which is a cyclic process.Improve the self-healing and adjustment ability of our internal organs through long-term active muscle relaxation.

For example, doing relaxation exercises every day can restore the good digestive function of the large intestine and have a good healing effect on ulcerative colitis.It helps the colon regain its normal shape and is used to resist the spread of ulcers.The important thing is that it relieves the tension of muscles and vital organs. For example, some people who often feel the tension of special muscle groups, because of work, they are often in a certain fixed posture (sitting, standing, walking), time Over time, it can cause muscle tension, which can lead to emotional tension.

Through relaxation training, these tensions will be relieved, giving an outlet for the accumulated bad emotions.

Practice for at least 20-30 minutes every day, and the time can be gradually shortened after you become proficient.

Begin by relaxing the hands, arms, then the head, then the torso, and finally the lower limbs and feet.

Each exercise cycle consists of tightening specific muscle groups, maintaining tension for 8 to 10 seconds, and then quickly relaxing.The best relaxation position is lying down or sitting on a recliner, so that the whole body is supported by something else.

Specific methods for deep muscle relaxation:
Arm relaxation Clench right hand (clench into a fist), tense right forearm; clench left hand, tense left forearm; tighten hands, both forearms; flex right elbow to tense right bicep (upper arm); flex left elbow Tighten the left bicep; straighten the right arm to tense the right triceps (upper arm, back muscles); straighten the left arm to tense the left triceps; relax the arm (like a deflated ball).

relaxation of the head furrowing the forehead; frowning;

Close your eyes tightly until you finish the exercise; turn your eyes clockwise to return to the center; turn your eyes counterclockwise to return to the center; turn your eyes to the far left corner; turn your eyes to the far right corner; turn your eyes up ; turn eyeball down; wrinkle nose, cheek;
Close lips tightly, tense (or pucker) lips; tighten jaw muscles; press jaw against chest; Mouth-opening feints without making sounds, tensing the throat and throat muscles, and humming low tones;
The whole head is relaxed.

Relaxation of body parts Raise the shoulders and touch the ears to tense the shoulder muscles; bend the waist to tighten the lower muscles; spread the shoulders back to tighten the back muscles; draw the shoulders forward to tighten the chest muscles; exhale and inhale To tense the abdominal muscles; tense the buttocks muscles (same as the sudden stop of urination); tense the buttocks and try to close them; the trunk is completely relaxed.

Leg relaxation Tighten upper left leg muscles; tense right upper leg muscles; tense upper left and right leg muscles, simultaneously bend legs to knees, then straighten again, tense upper muscles of both feet; tense left calf muscles, outer shins, toes lift up the leg;
Tension right calf, outer shin; tension right foot and right toe; tension left foot and left toe; relax all legs.

Moderate strengthening training Inhale for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of four, pay attention to tension, and then exhale slowly; inhale deeply and steadily, check all muscle groups; relax the whole body.

Ways to Re-Energize: Move hands, arms; move legs and feet; turn head; open eyes, sit up.

Relaxation training for each part above, with an interval of about 1 minute.

self relaxation training
Repeat self-programmed commands, such as "My arms are heating up" or "My body is getting lighter and lighter," until you feel the effects described by the command appearing on your body.This is similar to fantasies and hallucination exercises, which belong to the realm of the subconscious mind.

Trials over thousands of sessions have shown that self-relaxation training is one of the best and fastest ways to help people relax.Our course experiments have proved that once the body has a good time to relax completely and the muscles relax to a certain extent, it can stimulate the self-recovery and conditioning of the body and emotions by the internal mechanism of the person.

Imagine a comfortable body position without supporting yourself.

Loosen tight clothing, jewelry.

Second, be in a quiet and comfortable environment.

Actively prepare yourself to be aware of how you feel when you give orders.

Take steady, deep breaths as you command.

When you're done with a movement, do something that restores your body's sensitivity.

Finally, end the practice with a positive suggestion (e.g., "When I open my eyes, I'll feel cleared from fatigue, and I'll feel relaxed and comfortable").

Before starting the self-relaxation training, first choose a comfortable position for yourself (it must be a position that allows you to relax completely without relying on any parts for support), then close your eyes, and slowly recite the following self-relaxation instructions:

"My hands, my arms were heavy and hot."

"My legs, my feet were heavy and hot."

"My belly is soft and comfortable."

"My breathing is deep and steady."

"My heartbeat is steady and regular."

"When I open my eyes, I will be relaxed and refreshed." Each instruction can be recited seven times.When you recite the instructions, take a deep breath at the same time, exhale slowly, and pay attention to your feelings while reciting.This exercise should be done three times a day.The more proficient you are at this method, the more quickly you will be able to adjust when you are emotionally tense.

visual relaxation training
Prepare to relax the muscles by taking steady, deep breaths, and breathe slowly to the count of four.

Hold your breath for a count of four and exhale slowly.

As you repeat the movement, describe a comforting picture in your mind, imagining yourself doing something to relax your muscles—walking on the beach, listening to the waves, letting the cool, refreshing breeze relax. Blow it over your face and hair; or walk in the jungle, bask in the warm sunshine, and listen to the birds singing in the trees.

Pause for 30 seconds before proceeding to the next step:
Come back to the waking state and remain calm, aware of those pleasurable sensations again in all parts of your body.

Open your eyes, regain a sense of awareness, and calm down.This exercise is effective, simple, and straightforward.Quite a few of us use it unconsciously to relax our emotions in our lives.Everyone has pleasant memories, and when they are nervous, lost or angry, they will involuntarily associate these images.However, few people really realize that this is a way to relax, so as to consciously use it as a fixed emotional management method.

Now, you know this effective way.When you are emotionally tense or anxious, you can draw some vivid and pleasant pictures in your mind for visual relaxation training, so that your emotions will relax unconsciously and return to normal.

Self-control Lesson 4 Attention Cultivation
For the development of attention, we start with breathing training.

deep breathing exercises
Sit up on the chair, straighten your back, close your palate, and close your eyes.

Relax the muscles of the whole body and take a stable posture. When you feel uncomfortable or out of balance while sitting, adjust your posture.

Breathe with thin, long, quiet deep breaths, and avoid rapid breathing that makes sounds.Close your mouth naturally, relax your cheeks and lips, inhale and exhale through your nose.

Breathing speed, it takes about 6 seconds for an adult to inhale, and it takes twice as long to exhale for 12 seconds.

For primary school students with small lung capacity, it takes 4 to 5 seconds to inhale and 8 to 10 seconds to exhale.Compared with normal breathing, it will feel quite slow, but if you do it a few times, you will get used to it.The average person breathes about 1 times in one minute.Now it is 17-4 times less than that, which will activate the autonomic nerves and stabilize the body and mind.

After exhaling, you must think about 30% of the inhaled air remaining in the lower dantian.It is important to keep in mind that most of the inhaled air has been exhaled, and fresh air is being inhaled in the abdomen.

It is also important to learn to do this unconsciously.Because if you add neural awareness to breathing, the door of concentration cannot be opened.

card gaze training
Put a yellow card 30 to 40 centimeters away from the eyes, concentrate for 30 seconds, then close the eyes, and afterimages appear in front of the eyes.After concentrating for another 30 seconds, quickly remove the card and move your eyes to a piece of white paper. At this time, you will see an afterimage on the white paper.

Concentrating on the afterimage.At the beginning, the afterimage lasted for about 20-30 seconds and then disappeared.With the increase in the number of training sessions, the afterimage retention time can be extended to 3 or [-] seconds, and some people may even maintain it for about [-] minutes.Keep the afterimage in front of your eyes for as long as possible.

Try not to blink when concentrating on the yellow card.The afterimage seen will change, at first, the afterimage appears as a complementary yellow circular color on blue paper.Continuously carry out afterimage training, the afterimage will last longer and longer, and what you see will no longer be the complementary color, but the primary color.

training instructions
Some people are able to see primary colors right from the start.This is not because there is anything fancy about these people, but because their imaginations are very good.If the afterimage is seen in the original color, the power to paint the imaginary image has been activated at this time.Even if you don't look at the yellow card, you can still see the colored circles you want to see according to your own will, so keep practicing and don't give up halfway.

In the second stage, it will be possible to freely change the color and shape of the afterimage that initially appeared.The blue turns yellow, and the shape can change from a circle to a square, star, etc. Please practice by yourself.

In the third stage, you will be able to see imaginary images spontaneously.Close your eyes and activate your consciousness, and you will be able to see various images.

At this stage, you can make yourself appear by wanting to appear in the imaginary image as well.If you can reach this level, you're done.Imagine yourself getting 100 points in the exam, imagine yourself shooting the goal in the football game, all these can become reality.

Self-Control Lesson 5 Wipe away traces of low self-esteem
Lesson Description: Timid, shy, and blushing people tend to be extra sensitive about relationships, or "thin-skinned" as they say.From a psychological point of view, such people care too much about what others think of them, and lack the self-confidence they should have.They dare not express their feelings in public, which not only makes them tired, but also makes others feel uncomfortable.

Course method: Integrate yourself into the "social environment" with practical actions and practice persistently.

When walking, hold your head up, chest out, and your steps are flexible

Psychologists tell us that lazy posture and slow pace can breed negative thoughts; and changing the posture and speed of walking can change the state of mind.You don't usually realize this, do you?Try it now!
Raise your eyes, look forward, and look at others

Psychologists tell us: Do not face up to others, means low self-esteem; face up to others shows honesty and self-confidence.At the same time, it is polite to look someone in the eye when talking to someone.

public speaking
Carnegie said: Speaking in public is an effective breakthrough to overcome shyness, enhance people's self-confidence, and enhance enthusiasm.This approach is the most effective way to overcome inferiority complex.Think about it, has your inferiority complex happened in such a situation many times?You should understand that everyone is afraid of speaking in public, but to varying degrees.So you don't miss the opportunity to speak in public.

Express yourself through multiple exposures
From a psychological perspective, everything about "success" is an image of exposure.When you're on the subway or bus, try walking back and forth in an empty car, or walking into a meeting by purposely walking across the front row and taking the front row seat to exercise yourself.

Self-Control Lesson 6 Controlling Desires

Course description: To control desires is to control your heart.The research team has discovered a "reward center" in the human brain that influences our desires.

Course method: control step by step, set a lower threshold for yourself than before, and then lower it successively, because we all know later that desire is only temporary, and controlling desire is to control temporary needs. Desire requests should be doable.

1. Satisfy desires according to plan For example, if you have the desire to buy digital products now, controlling desires does not mean having no desires or reducing desires, but rationalizing your desires and reducing unnecessary troubles.You have to tell yourself: "Do I need this digital product now? After analyzing it, I find that it is not. I don't need to buy it today." This can dispel the idea of ​​this expenditure and list it as an unimportant future expenditure plan .You must know that there are always desires, and it may not be happiness if they are all satisfied.

2. Keep a normal mind and don't blindly compare yourself with others. Your desires are naturally easy to control.This requires you to maintain a calm mind and not be too harsh on material requirements. 3. Have your own way of recreation and personal hobbies 4. If the desire is very strong, it is recommended to go for a run or exercise, the desire will be excreted with sweat.

Self-Control Lesson 7 Overcoming Procrastination
Objectives of the course: To cultivate a strong heart that we face pain.Lesson Approach: A practical plan that will work must be developed and put into action.

Act now on your immediate plans

Although 72.8% of people in the world suffer from procrastination, although procrastination is a terrible habit, the cure is simple: act now.If there is something that bothers you, do it for 3 minutes first.If you are a columnist and have been dragging an article since last night, why not sit down immediately, open the wordpad, and write for 180 seconds, then a miracle happens, and you will continue to write after 3 minutes until the article is written over.Sometimes there is a pile of housework to do, and when I feel irritable, I immediately start to do it, and I find that not only I do it quickly and well, but also my mood is calm.

delay your gratification

When we were young, we were all asked by our parents to finish our homework before watching cartoons. This is a typical expression of delayed gratification.When we finish our homework, we can watch whatever cartoons we like, and watch as long as we like, without any other worries at all.I have been adhering to this principle since I was a child: if you want to learn, you must study hard, and if you want to play, you must have fun.I think you can try to apply this principle in class.

Delaying gratification means not coveting temporary comfort and resetting the order of life's joys and pains.First, facing the problem and feeling the pain; then, solving the problem and enjoying greater joy is the only way to live.You can set yourself to play QQ after three hours of reading, so that you will not feel guilty when playing QQ, but also have a sense of happiness and accomplishment when you complete the task.Then your big goal of "reading many books" is composed of countless small goals of "reading books for three hours". Every time you complete a small goal, you are closer to realizing the big goal.

Establish a timely self-reward and motivation mechanism for yourself

This is a vital element of our curriculum.Whenever you finish something that takes a lot of time and energy, or is a bit challenging, you can immediately reward yourself.For example, go on a trip, invite yourself to drink afternoon tea, etc. There are various prizes without any restrictions, but they can only be obtained after completing the goals.

Student Jansen told me that on the day he got his self-examination degree certificate, he invited himself to drink coffee and eat cake, and had a self-reward and celebration. positive effect.This is the control effect of the incentive mechanism on procrastination.

Giving self-reward after finishing things can make people gain self-confidence and inner satisfaction, which is conducive to the regeneration of success.For example, if you have worked for an hour, you can run to the bathroom and look in the mirror and shout: "You are great, keep going, keep going." You can also make your fists while shouting, and wave your fists up and down.This is also a very good and easy-to-practice method of self-motivation.

Actively Cutting Out Temptation Exercises

When you are doing something, just halfway through, because someone is looking for you to chat on QQ, you immediately go offline and pull the plug on the router. This can be regarded as actively cutting off the temptation.You can refer to Hugo’s method of treating procrastination. He socializes a lot and likes to go out to play, so he often fails to complete his writing projects.So he took off his clothes and gave them to the servants, so that he could not run out naked, so he had to stay in his room and write honestly.

You can learn from his ways in your life.For example, if you take off your clothes and stay away from the Internet, you can definitely read a book.In addition, if you are a person who needs to read, I suggest that you do not read at home or in the dormitory, but go to the library to read, and resolutely do not bring mobile phones and computers, and the Internet will disappear.Keeping yourself away from the environment with the Internet is a very effective way.

Meditation Practice: Focusing on One Thing

Cultivate the habit of mindfulness by practicing meditation. "The meditation in Buddhism and yoga, which is popular now, can help us to train our ability to concentrate and eliminate external interference to a certain extent. This result has also been supported by neuropsychological research. Meditation can improve the brain and the attention-related brain. The activity efficiency of the area helps to improve people's memory and attention."

Meditation is conducive to maintaining inner peace and gaining good self-control.A young man's mind becomes sound when his heart cools down.I believe that when you are self-disciplined and fully devoted to something, you will definitely reap unexpected life surprises.

Self-control Lesson 8 Get rid of powerlessness
Course Description: Powerlessness and inferiority complex are closely related. The training to get rid of powerlessness is a course to eliminate inferiority complex.

(End of this chapter)