Unforgettable first love: warmth stays in the left atrium

Chapter 18 Letter to Myself

This letter is like a bright mirror, this letter can understand yourself

When Midsummer woke up again, the sky was as bright as a mirror.

Her eyelashes trembled slightly, she slowly opened her eyes, and what she saw was the familiar navy blue plaid curtains, and slowly she realized that she should be in Gu Yingning's room.Turning his head, he saw the tall and straight figure sitting on the chair one arm away from him.

Sensing the movement coming from her side, Gu Yingning raised her eyes from the iPad where she buried her head, and met Sheng Xia's still somewhat confused eyes.Putting down the things at hand, he stepped over, sat on the edge of the bed and asked her, "Do you feel better?"

Although the tone was still blunt, Sheng Xia could still hear the deep and suppressed concern in it.

She wanted to stretch out her hand from under the quilt to hold him, but Gu Yingning had a first insight into her thoughts, pressed her arm and tucked the quilt corner, staring and said in a deep voice: "What are you doing? Not enough trouble, is it?"

Maybe people who are sick are fragile. His words, which seem to blame on the surface but are actually concerned, completely draw out Sheng Xia's tears.His nose was sore and his eyes were red, Sheng Xia opened his mouth to speak, but his voice was extremely dry and hoarse, his voice was like a broken string: "Yingning..."

Just such a simple two words, the words fell, and the tears flowed down with "shua".

After all, she was very anxious and worried in her heart, and her eyes softened a lot, but Gu Yingning still didn't give her a good face.Water had already been poured into the thermos cup at the side, and the lid was unscrewed. Gu Yingning supported Sheng Xia's shoulders and neck with one hand, and held the water cup with the other, and couldn't help saying: "My voice is so hoarse."

After drinking a few sips of water, Sheng Xia felt much more comfortable.Since waking up, her eyes have been following his every move, even when drinking water, her eyes are trying to look at Gu Yingning.He naturally noticed it, put down the thermos cup and lowered his eyelids, stood up after covering her with the quilt again, and planned to sit back and continue looking at the IPAD.

However, she thought he was going to leave, this time the action was so fast that before he could react, Sheng Xia's hand had already grabbed his wrist.The hot palms made Gu Yingning's heart ache, but she still said mercilessly: "Sheng Xia, you can play a trick if you want, but I don't have time to accompany you to act."

But the strength of her grasp was astonishingly strong, no matter how much Gu Yingning shook it, she couldn't break free.

Tears flowed down uncontrollably, and it was the first time that Sheng Xia lowered his begging in front of him: "Don't go...I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, but Yingning, please don't go away..."

In the end, she couldn't help crying, and her vague and hoarse words were like a frightened little beast, which was obviously extremely fragile but still forcibly pretended to be domineering to cover up.And this midsummer finally made Gu Yingning completely throw away his helmet and armor.

Sighing deeply and helplessly, Gu Yingning sat down on the edge of the bed again with a look of exhaustion in his eyes because he was unable to resist the true thoughts in his heart. He gently put her hands back under the quilt, and said: "Put your hands away , I won’t go away.”

Her hand was put under the quilt, but she still held him firmly, for fear that he would renege on his word and run away in the blink of an eye.Sheng Xia knew that if Gu Yingning was really ruthless, she would not be able to resist.

This time, Gu Yingning didn't say anything, but just wiped away her tears with the other hand that was not caught.His movements were very light and slow, and after a moment of silence, he frowned and said, "Since when did you cry so much?"

Surprised by his words, Sheng Xia didn't bring it up in one breath, her throat choked, and the tears were instantly cured.However, Gu Yingning's face was slightly gloomy because of this. After a while, his eyes finally softened, his complexion softened, and his tone became normal. He said lightly: "I have already cooked a pot of vegetable porridge. If you are hungry, I will take a bowl."

Although she only felt bitter and tasteless in her mouth, how could Gu Yingning not pick up such an obvious olive branch Midsummer, when he finished speaking, she responded: "Okay."

This bowl of porridge was naturally fed to her by Gu Yingning.He cooked it very thinly, and after eating the steaming hot liquid food, Sheng Xia suddenly felt his mind was refreshed, and his confidence became much stronger in his more and more gentle movements.When Gu Yingning turned slightly and put the bowl on the bedside table, Sheng Xia suddenly said: "Yingning, whether you want to listen or not, I sincerely say sorry to you."

Gu Yingning's hands stopped, and then she smiled very shortly, the temperature in her eyes dropped a little, she turned her head and said to her: "My answer is the same as last night, that slap has already been slapped, don't even think about it." I will take this date."

She ignored his cynicism, and continued: "Yesterday I walked alone to Xiya Park. I never told you that I made a secret wish in my heart when I was with you on your birthday in the park." , I hope I can spend that day with you every year. Yingning, I actually don’t know why my reaction these two times was to question you, maybe subconsciously I’m just afraid of hearing the real answer so...but anyway,” because After saying this long series of words, her voice became hoarse again, "I have never believed you."

The corner of his mouth was bent into a weird angle, and he said very slowly: "Sheng Xia, do you think your words are credible?"

Maybe he has gradually gotten used to his mocking tone these two days, Sheng Xia's expression has not changed at all, except for a little bit of stubbornness: "I will let you believe it."

Gu Yingning smiled to herself, picked up the porridge bowl and planned to go downstairs to the kitchen to clean it up, but when she was about to bring it to the door, she paused for a step, said lightly, "You should recover from your illness first", and then disappeared from Sheng Xia's sight.

Sheng Xia's illness came violently, but it didn't take too long to go away. After two or three days, he had basically recovered except that his body was still a little weak.During this period, Tan Jing called countless life-threatening serial calls, repeatedly telling her to lie down and cover Yun Yun.Xu Yihui, on the other hand, only sent a very ordinary greeting text message.

In the blink of an eye, it was Sunday again, and Gu Yingning happened to be meeting a Dutch client, so he left the house after nine o'clock in the morning.After lunch, Sheng Xia picked up her phone and put it down again. After thinking for a long time, she finally sent a text message to Xu Yihui: Yihui, let's meet up if you are free this afternoon.

City F is really getting more and more desolate.It is mid-December, and although the leaves of the sycamore trees on both sides of the street have fallen, they are decorated with many colorful light bulbs because of the coming Christmas.Today's weather is not good, the gray sky can't even see the clouds clearly.

Some low-rise old houses are located in the alleys. Most of the old houses in the south of the Yangtze River still have white walls and black tiles, but the mottled paint chips and indelible water marks on the walls sing the lingering sound of the years.

The doors of some houses are open, and you can see the old man playing with his grandson in the courtyard from the outside, with a kind and contented smile on his face.

Through these alleys, Shengxia finally came to the small cafe located in the residential area.Pushing open the black carved iron gate, the aroma of daffodils comes out.In this refreshing fragrance, Sheng Xia saw Xu Yihui sitting with his back to him not far away.

She took her seat carefully, smiled and said to him: "You still like to arrive early as always."

Xu Yihui looked up at Midsummer, smiled brightly, stroked the mouth of the coffee cup with his fingers, and said:

"Obviously you are always late, but I have always been in the habit of waiting for you."

He didn't speak these words quickly, why didn't Shengxia hear the meaning in it.But she just smiled, as if she didn't understand, she called the waiter and ordered a cup of Hong Kong-style milk tea.

Xu Yihui was a little surprised: "I remember you didn't like milk tea before."

Sheng Xia murmured: "Healed from a serious illness, it's better not to drink coffee."

Xu Yihui was wearing a maroon mid-length cotton coat today, which made his face extraordinarily handsome.Looking at the most intimate face in front of him, Sheng Xia took a sip of milk tea, and then said:
"Yihui, why did you lie to me?"

Xu Yihui didn't expect her to be so straightforward, he was stunned for a second before recovering, then smiled, and said lightly: "Sure enough, you still know."

Sheng Xia frowned, the moment she heard Xu Yihui's confession, she felt pain like an awl in her heart.The smile faded, and even the eyes were slightly guarded, Sheng Xia persistently asked: "Why on earth are you telling these lies? Including the so-called purpose of Yingning approaching me that you told me last time, these things What is the purpose of the lie? Yihui, how did you become like this?"

Yihui, how did you become like this?
The tone of her words was alienated, and Xu Yihui's heart was pierced when he heard it.In the past, Sheng Xia treated him with trust and even a hint of nonsense; even after the reunion, she has always been happy and joyful, where did she speak in such a tone?
It was as if someone had stabbed a hole in his heart, and the gurgling acid water rushed in, drowning him almost unable to breathe.Holding the cup tightly, if it wasn't for wearing long sleeves in winter, midsummer would definitely be able to see the bulging veins on Xu Yihui's arms.

Taking a deep breath, the calmness on Xu Yihui's face was finally broken.He smiled bitterly, sad, unwilling, self-deprecating, and angry, all kinds of emotions filled his eyes for a while, and he said:

"Midsummer, I'm just obsessed with ghosts, because I find that I have nothing to do."

He showed a smile that was more bitter than crying, "When I found out that your feelings for Gu Yingning were so deep that it shocked me, I had no other choice but to take the risk with all my might."

Sheng Xia was startled at first, and then surprised - she thought that time would be the best medicine for forgetting, but she didn't expect Xu Yihui to be so unable to extricate herself from herself.

Xu Yihui lowered his eyelids slightly, and continued in a low voice: "I know it's very risky to do this. If you find out, maybe I will never win your trust back from now on, but I still take chances... Axia, people always Greedy." He raised his eyes again, looked at her face, and said firmly, "I'm greedy, I not only want to see you again, but also want to regain your heart—so, if we don't separate you and Gu Yingning, I will Where is the chance?"

At this moment, Midsummer didn't know how to react other than being silent.Shock, bitterness, guilt, helplessness, a hundred kinds of feelings surged in my heart at once, and the turbulent waves caused made Sheng Xia speechless for a long time.

She finally understood that for Xu Yihui, time is not only a good medicine for forgetting, it cannot make him slowly accept the facts and let go of himself, but it has become the final poison instead.

The surrounding air seemed to be frozen, and no one said a word for a long time.

And midsummer, after the initial mixed feelings, an uncontrollable anger slowly turned to clusters.With those black and round eyes stained with sullenness, Sheng Xia said in a deep voice: "Yihui, even if you want to be with me again, is it your way to make me sad?"

She spoke quickly, but every word imprinted on his heart.

Suddenly thought of something, Sheng Xia hurriedly asked: "That day, that day, you went to Huangcheng Seafood, you said that you have already booked a table, is it actually..."

She didn't say what she said next, Xu Yihui's complexion had already turned pale, and even the fingernails of the hand holding the cup had become bloodless.Closing his eyes, he finally nodded his head without getting angry.

Sheng Xia was stunned by the sudden truth.Slowed down, anger came one after another, she "huo" stood up, bit her lip, with a stubborn expression: "Yihui, if there is nothing to do in the future, we still don't want to see each other."

She took two steps, and when she reached his side, Sheng Xia suddenly stopped again, and said "Take care, goodbye" extremely low, this time she really walked away without looking back.

The moment she pushed open the small door of the coffee shop, the sun shone on Midsummer's face, even though the winter sun was so mild, it was still so dazzling that she shed tears.

Shengxia always remembers the day when he first met Xu Yihui, when he opened his eyes and saw his spotless white shirt, his clean, stretched and gentle smile, his handsome handwriting on the title page, and even more remember that when he was making trouble for no reason, he was still like that. A breezy and nonchalant demeanor.

All of this seemed to be a dream she had after falling asleep on the desk in the library. When she really opened her eyes, Xu Yihui, who thought she had been separated from yin and yang, stood in front of her unscathed. It's just that behind the face that is still smiling warmly, there is no longer the purity of the past.

Time is a silent river. Everyone looks at each other across the bank, but they cannot cross it.

If this is the case, then she would rather stay far away from Xu Yihui from now on, and not get to know him now, so that everything is still white and clean in her memory - there is no way, she is born to be such a cowardly person, she will be brave for love, But also avoid the pain.

In the midsummer now, there is nothing more important than firmly grasping Gu Yingning's hand that is about to slip.

It was not too late for Gu Yingning to return home.Sheng Xia heard the sound coming out of the kitchen, and hadn't taken off the apron she was wearing.Seeing Gu Yingning, she smiled and walked up to him and asked him: "Are you hungry? There is still a soup and it will be ready."

She was so happy that his originally stern face softened a lot, and he couldn't say the sentence "I have to go out later".

After a while, the dinner was really ready. Cold cucumber, steamed yellow croaker, green pepper shredded pork, loofah egg soup, everything Gu Yingning likes to eat.He has a bad stomach and always likes light food.

Sheng Xia used to have all kinds of spicy food, but now that he has been with him for a long time, even his taste has changed too much.

Gu Yingning naturally knew this, and when he raised his eyes to see Sheng Xia, who was beside him with lowered brows, he suddenly felt a little stuffy.Gu Yingning knew that she missed the incomparably vivid midsummer a few days ago.

With a faint sigh in his heart, Gu Yingning raised the white flag to surrender secretly.After all, she apologized, after all, she was still by her side, and it was not worthwhile to get angry with her for some unimportant people and hurt each other's feelings.

After eating the last bite of food, before Gu Yingning could speak, Sheng Xia spoke first: "Yingning, I'm going to see Yihui this afternoon."

As soon as the words fell, Gu Yingning's originally relaxed back suddenly stiffened, and his pupils suddenly contracted, as if he was sitting upright.Sheng Xia sneered, of course she understood the reason for his posture of facing a formidable enemy, so she stretched out a hand to hold his big palm, her voice was like Yingying whispering, but it was extremely firm: "In the future, if There is no need, I will not see him again. I was wrong so many times before, I did not trust you enough, but one thing has not changed from the beginning to the end - no one is more to me than you important."

Seeing that he was still on guard, she continued: "You also forgot what Yihui said before, okay? You are indeed very similar in birth, but these two similar faces give me such a different feeling. .People will change, some people will become more and more indispensable, while some people will become less and less familiar, and then gradually drift away until they are strangers.”

She seemed to be smiling, but there seemed to be a slight sadness between her brows.Gu Yingning knew her so well, how could she not understand what Sheng Xia was talking about.His brows finally relaxed, he held her hand back, hooked Sheng Xia hard and sat him on his lap.

He looked into her eyes, there was firmness in those watery pupils, and there was also a trace of tension and uncertainty that could not be detected.Gu Yingning suddenly smiled faintly, he had never shown half a smile these days.

After brushing her hanging hair, Gu Yingning's voice was still clear and cold: "Will you come back and quarrel with me indiscriminately in the future?"

Sheng Xia quickly shook her head.

He said again: "Don't you believe me in the future?"

Midsummer shook her head again.

Gu Yingning seemed very satisfied, she spoke again, and said, "Will you slam the door and leave in the middle of the night, leaving me alone at home?"

There seemed to be a sense of grievance in his words, Sheng Xia almost couldn't help laughing, and shook his head quickly.

Enough of asking, Gu Yingning changed her color slightly after a while, finally sighed, and hugged her even tighter: "Sheng Xia, if you and I are divided because of someone else, how can we be worthy of our relationship over the years. From now on, as long as you have any questions, even if it is discomfort as small as a fingernail, you can ask me immediately, and you are not allowed to guess by yourself, let alone find answers from others."

Sheng Xia nodded solemnly, agreed with "yes", then hooked his neck and buried her head in his neck, smelling the familiar and deeply loved smell on his body, finally she smiled happily.

(End of this chapter)