A good dad is better than a rich dad

Chapter 15 Men and women are different, be an enlightener of gender awareness

Every dad has his own parenting philosophy, but it always changes between the two worlds of sons and daughters.Boys and girls will have their own understanding of the same information. The reason for this difference lies in the difference in physiology. Boys focus on logic, while girls are more divergent. Therefore, fathers have different influences on boys and girls. In the world of boys , the father is a superhero, a symbol of strength and authority; in the daughter's world, the father is the object of dependence and trust, and the daughter's first friend of the opposite sex.

The father's active interaction with the child will help the child have a positive, appropriate and flexible understanding of the roles and attitudes of men and women.Research shows that boys who lose their father before the age of 4 make them less aggressive and tend to be more feminine in their gender roles - preferring non-physical, non-competitive activities such as reading, watching TV, listening to stories , guessing riddles, etc.Girls who lose their father before age 5 are often anxious, uncertain, shy, or at a loss when interacting with boys during adolescence.

Men crave power, even between father and son.A boy yearns for a relationship of mutual respect and mutual cooperation with his father. When he finds that he is treated as a man, he will feel the value of his own existence.

Boys have a strong sense of self-independence in their hearts, and they don't want to be directed. When they tell their fathers about various unpleasant things, they may not be seeking answers, but expressing their feelings. They already know how to do it.Therefore, fathers should not rush to give some advice to their sons. This is also the time for boys to grow up. They are using their abilities to solve problems. Fathers only need to encourage and believe in him.It helps to remind him that you are a man and I trust you to figure it out.

If a boy is crying and asking his father for help when he encounters difficulties, then his father should reflect on the way he treats a man. Does he not trust him?Do you always feel like he's still just a kid?If you want to cultivate a brave man, then abandon too much love and let go of the child's hands and feet to let him grow.

For a daughter, the father is the first friend of the opposite sex in her life. The father’s words and deeds are the children’s initial understanding of the word “man”. If the father loves the daughter more and makes the daughter feel trustworthy, she will When you grow up, you often look for a partner based on your father's image.If you want to protect your daughter well and hope that she can find lifelong happiness in the future, you should use actions to tell your daughter what kind of man is trustworthy, so that she will not be easily deceived in her future life.

There is also a sensitive vocabulary between father and daughter, that is "Electra complex".This complex just confirms the special influence of fathers on daughters.In the process of growing up, a girl cannot achieve psychological separation from her father. As a result, not only is her relationship with her mother alienated, but her normal communication with men of the same age and even her marriage and love are often seriously affected.This kind of performance is "Electra".Electra girls are always looking for a father-like lover intentionally or unintentionally, but even if they find them, getting along will become a problem, because Electra girls are mostly introverted, coquettish, and self-willed, which is not conducive to normal married life.

Girls who lose their father's love prematurely often transfer their feelings for their father to a certain character in reality, and this character will become a substitute for their father, which is also a manifestation of Electra.

How to protect the daughter's body and mind without making her feel extremely dependent is a homework that every father needs to do.The advice of education experts is, on the one hand, it is necessary to show up to the daughter in a timely manner when she needs it, to help her solve the problem, and let her feel the love of the father; on the other hand, it is necessary to properly conduct gender education and tell the daughter that men and women are different.The daughter's doubts about life and physiology should be resolved by the mother or female friends as a last resort.

(End of this chapter)