A good dad is better than a rich dad

Chapter 54 3 Accepting Yourself and Accepting Your Children

"It would be great if my figure could return to when I was just married", "If my father-in-law also works in the hospital, I don't have to consult doctors everywhere now", "The children are already so old, why don't they know how to do it? How about a competitive person?" "Others' mother-in-laws are helping to take care of the children, but as long as my mother-in-law is not in front of my eyes, I can pay for it."... In a dad forum, everyone began to "make a wish", and suddenly It turns out that everyone is so unhappy.

Why is our quality of life today significantly improved, but not as happy as our parents back then?Perhaps, because the more we have, the more we look at the part that we don’t have, hoping that everything will be as we wish, and hope that one day we can be close to perfection, our wealth will be listed in Forbes, our image is comparable to Tony Leung, and our prestige is better than Tang Taizong...

The pursuit of perfection is human nature, and it is also the driving force for us to continuously promote social civilization.But people have joys and sorrows, and the moon has its ups and downs. "This matter is difficult in ancient times." If you can't accept the current life and demand perfection everywhere, you will become a terrible greedy person and destroy the happiness that could have existed in your life. .

Only by accepting yourself can you appreciate yourself, and you can continue to improve and do better based on the existing conditions.How many fathers really appreciate themselves?Some people are willing to be mediocre, some are arrogant, these are not true acceptance of themselves.The most accepting person in history is Su Dongpo, a literati in the Northern Song Dynasty.During the ups and downs, he always maintains a normal heart, and he is indifferent to the life and death of life, the gains and losses of fame and fortune, so he lives soberly and chicly.Only those who accept themselves are qualified to live a happy life.

But there are also people who can accept themselves, but cannot accept their children.I always feel that my child has not inherited my own advantages in appearance, that his grades are not the first in the whole grade, and he is not sensible at home...Such a picky father also ruined the happiness of the child.

In fact, even if people all over the world look down on your child and feel that your child is not perfect, a father should love and tolerate his child.As long as the father does this, there will be no child in the world who cannot become a talent.

In a delivery room, a woman gave birth to a baby, and when she came to, she asked the doctor to hold the baby.The doctor looked at her sadly: "Madam, we hope you can hold on, although this is unacceptable."

"He's dead?" the mother asked in surprise.

"No, but the child is defective, his development is not complete, he has no lower limbs!"

The mother froze for a moment, and then said firmly: "Hold him here!" The doctor carefully carried the baby to her, almost unable to bear to see her expression.

"My God! How beautiful he is! I must educate him to be the best child!" The mother exclaimed in surprise.

Year after year, that child sat in a wheelchair, played football, gave speeches, entered a key university, and published books... He really became an outstanding young man. strong handicapped.

In the famous American novel "Non-Existent Daughter", because the daughter of the twins born by the wife suffers from Down's syndrome, the father feels that the long-term pain is worse than the short-term pain, so he sent his daughter away cruelly. The family lived a peaceful life, but the result was that his wife cheated and he suffered decades of inner torture.Disgusting children is actually escaping from a flawed life, which is not the choice a brave father should have.

Many people attribute their inability to accept their children and themselves to the "Virgo complex"-perfectionism.Perfectionism sounds good, but if you take a closer look, it has two essences: selfishness and inferiority complex.A perfectionist person always pays too much attention to his own feelings. If a father can think about his family, he will not complain that his family is not ideal; if he is confident, he will not be sad because the basketball he bought for his child is not the best, because The relationship between family members cannot be changed by one or two small accidents; if a father really believes in his child, he will not require the child to take a full test to prove his IQ; if the father is really confident in himself, You won't be upset because of an unintentional remark from your wife.

Accept yourself and accept your children, because our life is the present.

(End of this chapter)