A good dad is better than a rich dad

Chapter 74 4 Father is not at home, son's loss is even greater

In the process of educating children, the father's role is not just a "financial sponsor". The father's influence on the child's personality and the development of living habits play an important role.However, the magnitude of the influence of father's fading out in family education on children and girls is different.In general, boys lose more than girls in the absence of a father role.Many studies have confirmed that fathers have a greater influence on the intellectual development of boys than girls.

Since most boys are imitative by nature, the key to the acquisition of masculine concepts and behaviors in early childhood is to observe and imitate their father's language and behavior, and accept the normative influence of the family, especially the father's masculine role.

If the role of father is always absent during a boy's growth, and he has been immersed in a relatively weak and lonely female world for too long, the innate majesty in him will be driven by the imitation nature, bit by bit Being eroded, she unknowingly develops towards a feminine tendency.

Plus, research shows that the longer boys live with their mothers, the more their gender roles become confused.A psychologist surveyed the fifth and sixth grade students of some primary schools in Shanghai, and found that 13.9% of the students wished to be of the opposite sex.Most of them are boys. Many of them began to have the idea of ​​being the opposite sex at the age of three, and it began to appear and manifest itself in adolescence. They were dissatisfied with their biological sex, hated their body, and strongly demanded to change their gender. , In daily life, he still wears the clothes of the opposite sex, and talks and behaves like the opposite sex.Most of these children have little contact with their fathers.

However, in the increasingly competitive modern social environment, many fathers devote more and more energy to their work, trying to make a difference in society, and devote themselves to family affairs, especially those related to their children's education. With too little energy and time, children grow up in the arms of their mothers, grandmas, and grandmas. Most kindergartens and primary schools have female teachers. Most of these children who have come out of the arms of women unconsciously standardize themselves with female images. The personality style is also subtly moving closer to women... The environment in which children grow up is quite like a gentle trap, which softens the personality and edges that children should grow up with.

In this context, in recent years, the phenomenon of "the prosperity of yin and the decline of yang" and "the feminization of boys" have become increasingly serious.Boys seem to be getting more and more feminine, and their masculinity is getting less and less.

People's expectations of male roles determine that a man must be distinctly different from women's characteristics and be able to fully demonstrate a man's masculine and masculine characteristics.A philosopher once said that a grandmother without wrinkles is terrible, but we want to say that an era without masculinity will be darker and more terrible.

In life, I often hear people say: my son is very timid and afraid of the dark, of strangers, and afraid of being alone in the house;There are also many boys who love cosmetics, have a very withdrawn personality, and are unwilling and afraid to socialize with children... The only way to solve the above problems is to let fathers return to family education.American educator Dr. Dobson believes that fathers should assume the main task of shaping the next generation of men.You can't leave your children completely to mothers or kindergarten female teachers. You need to spend more time with your children.The father may sacrifice part of his career and social life for this, but he can achieve a greater achievement-bringing up an outstanding child.

Revolutionary mentor Marx read books like crazy, but when he returned home, he was a very competent playmate.In Marx's family, the relationship between parents and daughter is sincere and harmonious, full of joy in life.When the children were very young, Marx often used his spare time to play various games with the children.The children happily arranged the chairs into a "carriage", and then "set" their father in front of the car. The children waved the "whip", and there was joy in the "carriage" and "carriage". "Daddy is a good horse", this is what children say about their father.

In the Marx family, Sunday belonged to the daughters.Every Sunday, no matter how busy he is, Marx always puts aside his busy work and listens to the children's "commands".Once, Engels came to Marx's home and saw that he was concentrating on his desk work, so he hurriedly reminded him, "Hey, have you forgotten what day it is today?"

Hearing this, Marx was stunned for a moment, patted his forehead, and said with a smile: "Ah, by the way, today is Sunday, and Sunday should belong to children!" So, Marx put down his work and talked and laughed happily with Engels Excitedly took the children out for an outing.

How many fathers can be busier than Max, no matter how busy he is at work, he must spend time with his children every week or every day to accompany them to grow up.This is not just about enjoying family happiness, it is important to let your child know how much you care and pay attention to him.

In fact, at different stages of life, children always hope that there will be an excellent male by their side as a role model for him to follow.And the father is just the best candidate.Dobson believes in this sentence most: "Let a child be with a suitable man, and the child will never go astray."

(End of this chapter)