i didn't know i would love you

Chapter 90 I Think - I'm in Love with You
Gu Zihao felt as if he had been slapped hard, and he couldn't even think of a rebuttal for a while, leaving only an indescribable sense of powerlessness.

He suddenly remembered that when he saw Su Qing for the first time, he and Zheng Yan were eating together in the cafeteria, and from a distance, he saw a beautiful girl walking over and putting a bottle of Coke in front of him with a bright smile: " Brother, thank you for helping me out yesterday, please drink!"

He swallowed the food in his mouth, glanced at the Coke, then looked up at the Coke in front of him, and finally looked at Su Qing: "Do we know each other?"

He felt a little inappropriate when he asked this sentence, because he obviously saw that the smile on Su Qing's face disappeared all of a sudden, and then he said anxiously: "Brother, you forgot, last night at the school gate, I Being entangled..."

Hearing what she said, Gu Zihao suddenly got the impression that he came back from school last night, and when he was at the gate, he saw a junior with a bad reputation in the department pestering a female classmate. I heard the female voice pretending to be calm: "I tell you that my boyfriend is nearby, and if you act recklessly, he will definitely not let you go."

He turned around, just in time to see the back of the girl, his hands clenched into fists trembling violently, at that moment, an inexplicable feeling of pity arose in him, and he walked over uncontrollably, with a cold voice Looking at those juniors anxiously: "You pretend to be a hooligan here before the school gate, you don't even want your graduation certificate, do you?"

At that time, he had some prestige in the department. The junior recognized him and immediately pushed him away. After all, no one wanted to offend this Fengyun senior.

He was in a hurry to go back to the dormitory, and he didn't stay long. He didn't even look back at the girl. He turned around and left directly. Unexpectedly, she found her by herself.

And since then, it has been out of control, running with him every day like those nympho star fans, as if they never know how tired they are.

Gu Zihao jumped out from the past and looked down at the woman who was pressed on the back of the chair by him. His appearance hadn't changed much from that time, but the things in his eyes had changed a lot. Without attachment and love, only disgust and alienation are left.

There was a lot of unwillingness and fear in his heart, and he said with some difficulty in a hoarse voice: "I know...you mind those things very much, and I will make it up to you in the future, but you don't—"

The words "leave me" seemed to be glued to his throat with special glue, and he couldn't say it.

Su Qing blinked at him, the excitement in her eyes had gradually receded, her slender and curly eyelashes stretched out: "I don't mind, I'm desperate, Gu Zihao, I'm already desperate for you."

She pushed his chest away, separated his hand that was holding her, and opened the distance between the two of them. She raised her hand to tidy up her hair, sighed softly, and said lightly:
"I used to think that as long as I insisted on being by your side, you would look back and see me one day. I thought that was love, and it was the love that I would never have a second time in my life. During the five years of marriage, you I also know something about the outside world, but I have always lied to myself that it is just a man's entertainment, pretending that I don't know anything."

Her voice was hoarse and without any emotion: "But until Liu Yixi appeared, I learned about your affairs time and time again, and finally she appeared in front of me so proudly, I began to have to admit some things, some things I have always wanted Things that I don’t want to know and don’t dare to know.”

Hearing such words, Gu Zihao felt very uncomfortable. He wanted to stop Su Qing from speaking, but he couldn't say the words, because he knew that he was not qualified to say such words.

Su Qing's voice continued: "In the past, I never dared to imagine how I would live after leaving you, so I never thought of leaving you, but when I really left you, I had nothing to do with you. The days of the relationship, I feel that it is actually not as bad as I imagined, and it is even better than before."

"I know you're doing well."

Gu Zihao didn't want to look at Su Qing's eyes at this time, because he didn't need to look to know that it was full of rejection and indifference.

She did have a good life after leaving him. She had a job, had friends, and even became cheerful. It was her life that made him even more unwilling. He never knew that she All these years with me, I have been wronged like this.

He paused and leaned back on the chair: "It's because I'm not doing well, it's because after I left you, it's getting worse and worse."

"Ha ha."

Su Qing smiled mockingly, and looked sideways out of the window: "You are not doing well, are you not used to having no one cooking for you, cleaning your room and putting hot water every day? Then you can find a nanny, Or just randomly find a woman in your roster to live with, I guarantee you will forget me soon!"

"Su Qing!"

Gu Zihao called her name coldly, without warning in his tone: "I never thought you were the same as them!"

Regarding those women outside, he really couldn't deny it. He asked himself that he was not a gentleman, and he didn't think there was anything wrong with these things, but he didn't like them too much.

But Su Qing is different from those women. He can give away those women who are ambiguous with him for business at will, but he can't imagine that other men dare to touch Su Qing. Wanted a divorce, although he did not promise absolute fidelity to the marriage.

Su Qing continued to smile: "Of course it's different. I'm not even as good as them. They still have a deal with you, but I'm completely wishful thinking about you."

"Why do you have to say that? You know I don't mean it!"

Gu Zihao was a little irritable, and his tone was somewhat displeased. He felt that he didn't agree with a single word of what Su Qing said now, but he had no way to refute it.

He raised his hand and tugged at the neckline, loosened the buttons indiscriminately, frowned, and closed his eyes slightly in compromise: "I won't have other women in the future, you forget everything about me before."

Gu Zihao knew that this was not the tone and reality that should be used when negotiating conditions, because he didn't take the lead, and even gave the other party a loophole, but he couldn't help it, he could even cede land and make concessions, but he couldn't let Su Qing Leave him with these thoughts today.

He knows her nature, and soon she will make it a reality.

"What about my dad?"

Finally she opened her mouth to mention this heavy topic that neither of them wanted to mention, Su Qing looked directly at him: "You still have a chance to repent in your private life, but my father has no chance to come back to life."

She even still remembers how humble she was when she went to ask Gu Zihao for the compensation, a mere 240 million, which cost her father's life.

Gu Zihao clenched an empty fist with one hand and put it on his lips, and it was even more difficult to speak: "I really didn't know that things would turn out like that, I—"

"I never regretted loving you."

Su Qing interrupted Gu Zihao's words, and said calmly: "Even Liu Yixi appeared in front of me with a big belly, even if she told me that you didn't want our first child at all, I didn't regret loving you. "

Her eyes suddenly became sharp, and she turned to look at him suddenly: "But it wasn't until my father passed away and I lost the man who loved me the most in this world that I finally felt regret, regret why I knew you, regret why marry you."

Gu Zihao was confused, he didn't know how to respond to Su Qing's words, after all, he owed Su's family everything about Su's father.

"Gu Zihao, I will never forgive you for my father's matter, so just for this, I will never remarry you again."

Su Qing stared ahead, her voice was low but extremely firm, piercing through Gu Zihao's eardrums and beating his heart, making him inexplicably feel twitching pain.

The car became silent again, just like when both of them were talking, the quiet thoughts conveyed the entanglement between the two, and neither of them spoke again.

"When I first agreed to marry you, it was not because I loved you."

I don't know how long it took, Gu Zihao suddenly said without thinking, and breathed a sigh of relief: "I admit that I am a bastard, and my initial marriage even had an impure purpose. As for that child... I also admit that I am an asshole. It was true that I wasn't ready for it at the time, but I saw you so happy, and I couldn't say anything for you to take it off."

"So you're going to find a way to get me out, right?" Su Qing remained expressionless.

"...I'm sorry for you, I admit it."

Gu Zihao didn't have any reason to justify, his eyes were a little tired: "I always thought that my life was just like this, business and family, compared to most men, my situation seems to be pretty good. If it wasn't for you suddenly If I propose a divorce, I may continue to live like this, but after you leave... It's not that you didn't live well after leaving me, but that I don't know how to live a good life after leaving you. "

Su Qing clenched her fists tightly, and didn't move even when her nails sank into her palms. She didn't know what Gu Zihao was going to say next, but she felt faintly uneasy.

"I always thought that love or not love is too extravagant. A selfish person like me doesn't deserve to have it and I don't want to have it."

Gu Zihao's voice carried a bit of resignation, like a drunken confession: "But you're not by my side, I can't eat well, I can't sleep well, and I don't even have the mind to work, seeing you There are other men around me, and I'm so jealous that I want to kill him immediately, if all this is considered as an expression of affection, then, Su Qing, I think——I'm in love with you."

(End of this chapter)