hunter notes

Chapter 47 Hamlet in Higre County (2)
(The faces of all the guests showed a childlike joy, and one landlord showed a grateful look in his eyes.) "So, young people are not smart." (This big man is probably because of his air, sometimes In fact, it means the common accent.) "Like my son Ivan," he said without interruption, "this fool is only 20 years old, but sometimes he suddenly says: 'Daddy, let me ask for a wife.' I said to him: "Fool, you must be responsible for yourself first..." So he was disappointed and shed tears...but I...don't pay attention to him..." (When the leader said: "Don't pay attention to him" , as if it was not from the lips but from the stomach. He pondered for a moment, looked majestically at the civil servant sitting next to him, and then raised his eyelids to a height that was unexpected. The civil servant tilted his head happily a little, blinking the eye that was looking at the big man very quickly.) "How did it turn out," said the big man again, "and now he writes to me himself, saying: 'Thank you, father, for developing my This idiot...'It can be seen that things should be done like this." Of course, all the customers agreed with the speaker, so they seemed to feel refreshed by the joy and lesson... After the banquet, everyone stood up and walked into the guest room. Where they were staying, there was a loud, but still very polite noise, as if it was allowed at this time... Everyone sat down to play cards.

I stayed sleepy till night, and ordered my coachman to harness me at five o'clock tomorrow morning, and went to rest quickly.But I am destined to get to know an extraordinary person on this same day.

Because there are so many visitors, no one has a separate bedroom.Alexander Mikhelitch's head boy led me into a damp, grass-coloured little room, which was already occupied and completely stripped of clothes.As soon as he saw me, he quickly covered the quilt up to his nose, moved around on the soft fluffy mattress for a while, and calmed down, his lethal eyes came from his cotton sleeping bag. Watched me from under the round brim of the cap.I went to the other bunk (there were two in the room), cleaned it up, and lay down on the damp sheet.My neighbor tossed and turned in bed...told him to go to bed early.

Half an hour passed.In any case, I can't sleep at all, needlessly vague thoughts, changing the endless ranks, moving one by one obstinately and monotonously, like so many buckets on a water machine.

"You don't seem to be asleep yet?" said my neighbor. "Yeah," I replied, "I don't sleep now, do I?" "I don't sleep very much."

"What is the problem?"

"That's it. I don't understand how I fell asleep. I lay down, and I fell asleep."

"Aren't you sleepy now? Why are you lying on the bed?" "What's bothering me?" I don't want to talk to my neighbors.

"I'm curious," he continued, after a brief silence, "it's so clean and flea-free. If there's nothing here, nothing?"

"You care about them," I said. "No, no sympathy for them, but I like everything to be done in order." "Look," I thought, "he's explaining in this form." The neighbor was speechless. "Will you bet with me?" he suddenly told me loudly. "What should I do if I lose?" My neighbor made me feel happy.

"Well...what's the bet? Just bet on this, and you'll take me for a fool." "Hasn't such a thing happened?" I said vaguely in surprise. "Take it as a countryman, as an ignorant person... Tell me sincerely..."

"It's not enough to meet you," I replied, "Why can you conclude that..."

"Why! You can tell just by the sound of your words: you answer me so casually...but I'm not what you dreamed..."

"Listen to you..." "Listen to you. First, I speak French as well as you, and German as you do. Second, I have lived abroad for three years. , Berlin has been here for a long time. I have studied Hegel, sir, and I can recite Goethe's works. Also, I was in love with a German professor's daughter for a long time. The sick lady married A German professor who is bald, but has a good character. It can be seen that I am a bird of the same pack as you, and I am not as useless as you think... I also desperately reflect on it, and I am not reckless at all."

My leader looked straight ahead, paying extra attention to the weirdo.In the dim light of the sleeping lamp, it was difficult to see his face clearly.

"Here, you're watching me," he continued, adjusting his nightcap. "Maybe you're examining yourself: 'Why didn't I notice him today?' Let me tell you why you didn't notice me. , I did not speak very loudly; for I hid behind the others, I was behind the door, and did not speak to anyone; for the footman was carrying the tray, and I saw it go by, and raised his arms beforehand to my breast to join him. Look... why is all this? There are two reasons: first, I'm poor, and second, I've got nothing to do with the world... tell me, you didn't notice me, did you? ?”

"Unfortunately, there really isn't..." "Oh, yes, yes, yes," he interjected when I was speaking, "I know."

He sat up, arms crossed; the long shadow of his nightcap made a pattern on the wall and ceiling. "Excuse me," he went on, with a sudden sidelong glance at me, "that I feel like an anomaly, a so-called eccentric; or, perhaps worse than that, perhaps you think I'm a pretentious eccentric?"

"I have to explain to you again, I don't understand you..." He didn't raise his head for a while. "How could I speak so abruptly to you, to whom I have never known--God knows, God knows! (He sighs.) Not because our hearts are close! We both Good man, that is, egoist, I have nothing to do with you, and I have nothing to do with you. Can't I? But neither of us can sleep... let's talk! I'm full of energy now, and I This is not common. Can you see? I am very timid. I am timid not because I am a foreigner, a poor commoner, but because I am a person with strong self-esteem. But sometimes, when I use What happened in an unexpected situation, I was timid and disappeared, and it is now. Even if I am with the Dalai Lama now, I still want to ask him for some snuff. But, you Are you tired now?"

"No, on the contrary," I replied hastily, "I'd love to chat with you." "What you're saying is that it's better to make you happy... Then let me tell you, people around me call me nothing People who can't, that is to say, call me when my name is accidentally mentioned. 'My fate is lonely.' They want to insult me... Oh, my God! Who knows... I'm unlucky because I'm not different from other people, I'm not different from other people except for the abruptness I'm talking to you now. But this abruptness is worthless. It's the cheapest and cheapest thing .”

He turned his face to me and waved his hand. "Sir!" he exclaimed, "I think that usually only the omnipotent is better off, and only they deserve to live. One said: Mon verre n'est pas grand, mais je boisdans mort verre. You Look," he said in a low voice, "I speak French very well. I think it's of no use if you're quick-witted, know a lot, quick-witted, knowledgeable, and up-to-date if you don't have a mind of your own at all. What! This is but an ordinary storehouse added to the world, and who can get any satisfaction from it? No, even if it is stupid, but it must be your own! Have your own breath, your own inherent breath, this is The main thing! Don't think I'm demanding much of this breath...never! There are a lot of different people like this. We're surrounded by different people, everyone except me!"

"To tell the truth," he went on after a little silence, "what aspirations I had in my youth! What lofty aspirations I had for myself before I went abroad and in the first period after my return. My opinion! When I was abroad, I was very careful, always alone, we can only be like this, but we kept thinking, thinking, until the end, but forgot the meaning of ABC!"

"Omnipotent, omnipotent!" He shook his head helplessly and said... "Others say I am omnipotent... But in fact, there is no one in the world who is more ordinary than me. I was probably born to imitate others ...Indeed! My life is no different from anyone else's. I have worked hard. I have studied, I have been in love, and finally married. A lesson—who can see clearly!"

He took off his nightcap and threw it on the bed. "Want to hear about my past life?" He asked me in a staccato voice, "Or should I tell you about the important things in my life?" I'll tell you about it. Marriage is a big event, the beginning of a real life; in marriage, it's like looking in a mirror, reflecting... But this metaphor is too trite... I'm sorry, I want to smoke Take a puff."

He took the snuffbox from under the pillow, opened it, and continued, shaking the open snuffbox.

"Sir, please think about it from my standpoint... Please help me plan, what kind of things can I get from Hegel's encyclopedia, what kind of things can I get from Hegel's encyclopedia, what kind of things can I get from Hegel's encyclopedia? Interests? Between this encyclopedia and Russian life, tell me, what is the difference? What does it have to do with our life? And not only this encyclopedia, but also German philosophy... It’s too much to say some, if not all, science.”

He jumped up on the bed, gritted his teeth and murmured softly:

"Oh, so it is!... Then why do you want to go abroad? Why don't you stay at home and study the life around you? Then you can know the requirements and prospects of life, and you can also find out why you live... But don't Think about it," he continued in a different tone, as if he was timid to argue for himself, "how can we study this kind of stuff that hasn't been written by any sages in books! I'd like to ask It learns from Russian life, but it doesn't open its mouth. It says, come and see me like this; but I don't have the ability: you have to draw a conclusion for me, sum it up in one sentence... in one sentence Is it? It said, just this sentence: Listen to us Muscovites - like nightingales? But here is the difficulty: they sing like Kursk nightingales, they don't talk like humans... So I Thinking it over, I thought: 'Science is the same all over the world, and truth is the same.' I decided to go to a foreign country, to the heathen... What else could I do? Youth and self-importance charmed me. You Understand, I don’t want to become obese until a certain time, although people say obesity is healthy. However, if there is no meat to eat, the body will not be fat!”

"But," he continued after a little thought, "I seem to have promised to tell you the story of my marriage. Please listen. First, I tell you that my wife is dead; second... second Well, I think it is necessary for me to tell you about my youth, otherwise you will not understand... Are you sleepy?"

"No, I'm not sleepy." "That's great. Just listen to... how badly Mr. Kontagliuchin snores in the next room! My parents are not rich--I say parents, I've been told, I had a father besides my mother. I don't remember him anymore, but he was, it is said, a not very bright man, with a big nose, freckled face, fiery red hair, and snuffed through one nostril; There is a picture of him in my mother's bedroom, wearing a red uniform, black collar touching the ears, very ugly. I am often taken to his picture to be whipped, and my mother always refers to I looked at him and said, 'If your father was alive, he would have hit him harder.' You can imagine how much that encouraged me. I'm an only son, no, to tell you the truth, I had a Brother, he got English disease on the back of his head, and died a long time ago... Why did the English disease spread to Shigery district of the Kursk province? But that's not the problem. Mother worked with all the zeal of a country landlady My upbringing, she raised me from the time I was born until I turned 16... Are you still listening?"

"Of course, go on."

"Well, well, when I was sixteen, my mother immediately and without hesitation threw out my French governess, a German from the Greek quarter of Nerzhin named Filipovich. Yes. We went to Moscow together, enrolled at the university, and she died, leaving me in the care of a real uncle of mine. This uncle was a judicial inspector named Cordon Babra, who was only A well-known figure in Higley County. My real uncle, Cordon Barbra, Inspector of Justice, customarily usurps all my property...but that's not a problem. I'm just in college--should be for me To be fair to my mother - already well-bred, but my lack of peculiarity was already evident at that time. My childhood was like any other child, and I also grew up stupid and sluggish , as if grown up in a feather mattress, began reciting psalms at a very young age, and became depressed, pleading fantasies... What are you fantasizing about? - Oh, yes, fantasizing beauty... and something else .I didn't go any other way at university, I joined the society immediately. It was different then...but you may not understand what a society is? I remember Schiller said in a poem: Gef hrlich ist's den Len zu wecken, Und schrecklich ist des Tigers Zahn, Doch das schreckilchste der Schrecken—Das ist der Mensch in seinem Wahn!"

I assure you: that's not what he's saying; what he's saying is: "Das ist ein 'learn'...in der Stadt Moskau!"

(End of this chapter)