i like you for many years

Chapter 10 Humble (4)
And I'm afraid of losing you, you know, I've never been so afraid of losing someone, losing the intimacy with you that I worked so hard to get.I've tried so hard to be your best friend, but it's actually a second-best thing.But as long as I don't tell you, you won't know in this life.

I don't know how to make you love me, but I try to make you used to having me.

Until one day, when you realize that you are sad, you will be the first to find me, and when you are happy, you just want to tell me, you will always call me when you go shopping, and you will always call me if you want to watch a movie.

This is exactly my trick.So what, Zhou Baoming, you can't do without me.

I stuffed a piece of sizzling potato into my mouth, but I remembered his shining eyes on that summer evening long ago.At that time he asked me, Weiwei, if we went south and north, would you still come to see me?
He just fell out of love that day, I was really impulsive and asked him, do I really have no chance?

But I ended up not.

Like a few years ago, on a crowded street, I also thought about asking him this question, but in the end I didn't.

I don't have any boyfriend, but I do know that he is going to North Drift, and my home is always in the south.For so many years, I have always lied to him, saying that I have not met someone I like, and if I do, I will be the first to let him know.

Therefore, the last sentence is not bad, let this lie be complete.

Let him safely leave me to others, and go north comfortably, looking for his new lover, new life, new job, and even a new good friend, best friend.

We have all grown up, and I know that my assumptions were too simple, even if you are the best buddy, you can't stay with me for the rest of your life.But I've been on this road for too long, and I can't turn back.

When we left the banquet, we stood on both sides of the street, and I said to him, you go first this time, and I have to find my friend.

He smiled strangely and asked me, boyfriend?I really didn't see that it was you, Weiwei, who valued sex over friends.

I didn't argue, so I laughed and chatted with him until he said, well, then I'll go first, and I'll tell you when I go to Beijing and change my number.

I said, good.

That was the last time I saw him.

After waking up from the dream, I couldn't fall asleep all the time, so I sat in front of the computer and looked at it boringly.Until I involuntarily clicked on Zhou Baoming's Weibo and saw his latest update: landing in Tianjin.Because the screws on the small table board suddenly broke on the plane, the image of "death is coming" has been in my mind for three hours.Hey, it finally landed, and it's about to turn around again.

Without even thinking about it, I hurriedly pressed the first number in the phone book.I called but the line was always busy. I refused to relax and kept replaying.

Although I already knew he was fine.

At 43:[-] in the morning, his phone finally got through.The moment I heard the familiar hello, I burst into tears and scolded my face.

You bastard!Why didn't you tell me something happened, it took me so long to answer the phone!What the hell are you pretending to be!Does it take so long to call my girlfriend!How many lingering words of love have to be said for three hours!

Zhou Baoming had probably never seen me cry in front of him, so he lost his mind for a while, so he replied weakly, I was still on the plane just now... I froze for a moment.

Only then did I realize how out of control I was.

It seems that all the defenses I have worked so hard to accumulate over the years have collapsed at this moment.I once heard that the human heart is the weakest in the dead of night, and I really believed it at this time.

No matter how hard I tried to prevent Zhou Baoming from being misunderstood, at this moment I don't think I can explain anymore.

Because I heard him ask cautiously on the other end of the phone, Weiwei, what's wrong with you?
Worried about me?

Are you worried about me?So cry?

don't cry.

Vivi, don't cry.

Vivi, Vivi...

I can't say anything, I don't know what I can say.It's just that at such a chaotic moment, I suddenly remembered a lot.

I'm really afraid that one day, I don't even know that the person I once loved deeply is old. After he is old, I will never see his white-haired appearance again.

I will never have the chance to turn my head in the classroom and see him grinning brightly at me like before.There is no chance like in the past many years, when I received his call in the deep night, I ran to the park to meet him, sat on the lawn and chatted with him all night.

I used to think that as long as I stayed in the South, this was his home too, and he would come home one day.But the reality is, after all these years, the distance between me and him is more than thousands of miles above the country.The north where he settled, and the south where I settled, will be a railway line that will never be handed over in a lifetime, extending to both sides of the earth.

If I want to see him again... I think, I will never see the young man dressed in white again.

Our text messages are getting less and less, our contacts are getting less and less, and I get less and less news from you.

Weiwei, if we go south and north, will you still come to see me?
One day, we are very old, will you still come to me?
I don't believe in those nonsense agreements at all. You said that I was your best friend, but why didn't you tell me that such a big thing happened!I cried loudly into the phone, Zhou Baoming, get out of here!
Vivi, may I call you later?Zhou Baoming suddenly whispered tentatively, you don't blame me, do you?

No, of course I won't.After so many years, when have I ever blamed you?I only blame myself for always not having enough weight in your heart to match your true love.

I turned off the computer and turned on the lights.Flipping through old diaries while waiting for a phone call.But I found that there were still a few letters written with Zhou Baoming in the diary.

On one of them, he asked me what love is.I naively replied below that I just want to be with him every day.

I suddenly laughed at myself.

If I had known the result earlier, I would have replaced the word "he" in the answer with "you".

Just as he was thinking, he saw the screen of his phone light up.

Zhou Baoming sent a message saying, don't think that I don't know any of your boyfriends is nonsense, but I never thought that you would cry for me.In the past, someone always whispered in my ear, saying how could you treat me so well if you didn't like me.When I think about it, I also feel that I am not good to you at all, but you have done a lot for me.

I was made to cry again all of a sudden, it turned out that he knew it all along, so why did he pretend not to know!bastard!
Before he could figure out how to reply, his next message came again.

But you never ask me, let me know why you are so kind to me.I only know that if it weren't for this phone call today, I would keep these words in my heart forever, because I am afraid that if I say it out, it is only a misunderstanding, and you will never treat me well again.Vivi, I want to go back to the life I used to be with you every day.

What life together every day... don't you just want to be with me every day, literature and art are so disgusting!
I've never tried to fall in love with a good friend.I burst into laughter, as if I got an answer that I had expected for too long, and it was really too much for me.Recalling a line from an idol drama, I copied it.

I haven't tried it either, let's try it together.Zhou Baoming sent a smiling face, I will come back to see you next week, I haven't eaten sizzling potatoes for a long time, you go with me.

Guess I'm reluctant to reject you.

hide the most selfish secret

play what you call a good brother

the book says

Men are the most loyal

There is nothing unshareable but love

I study hard

so i say lol

If you have a girlfriend, don't forget to treat me to dinner

——A Si "If you have a girlfriend, don't forget to invite me to dinner"

Over the years, I have learned to lie to myself alone.I am clearly sad, but I bless you; I clearly want to be with you, but I go to another territory; I clearly want to dance with you, but I dare not even take part in a hug; Feelings are unwilling to die.

If you have a girlfriend, don't forget to treat me to dinner

Gu Qingcheng asked me when he was free, why didn't he find a boyfriend?
I think so too, hanging out with him is a waste of time.Gu Qingcheng persuaded me while the iron was hot, if you meet the right one, you must tell the truth, my buddy can help you with advice or something, it's no problem.

I nodded desperately, as if I was afraid that he would go back on his word.I said, actually, I always thought the boy in the fourth row of our class was pretty good.

Gu Qingcheng asked me back, who is in the fourth row.Then without waiting for my answer, looking at me with a shy smile on my face, Gu Qingcheng suddenly realized.

It must be Zhong An, I told you earlier that he is not bad.

I nodded in admiration, and the voice of Gu Qingcheng promising to get me Zhong An's first-hand information still echoed in my ears, and I had already started to stare at Zhong An's back very carefully.

Gu Qingcheng recommended Zhong An to me a long time ago, so I also paid a little attention to him under his subtle influence.Maybe because of this attention, I feel more and more that he is really good.

What's so good about it?Good grades, good height, good face, good eloquence.Most importantly, caring for me intentionally or unintentionally is the best.

In the math class, the teacher asked questions, and I held up my right hand and prepared to go to the podium to do the questions.Zhong An also raised his hand at this time, as if determined to compete with me.I glanced at the desolate atmosphere around me—we were the only ones in the classroom fighting for the chance to answer this question.I looked at him until the teacher said, come up.

The space in front of the blackboard is very narrow, Zhong An noticed a mistake while writing, and went to get the blackboard eraser.I just turned around, and the two of them stretched out their hands at the same time, and their fingers touched each other.I was taken aback, and immediately withdrew my hand, letting him finish answering the question in embarrassment.

When returning to his seat, Zhong An purposely walked towards me, passing by my side, he patted my shoulder lightly.He seemed to say something inarticulately, but it was overwhelmed by the bustling chatter of classmates under the podium.

Naturally, no one paid attention to this scene, except Gu Qingcheng, who was always doing good things.

It seems that I don't need to collect information, people are interested in you.Gu Qingcheng rushed to my seat after class and whispered.

I shook my head, as if I haven't recovered from Gu Qingcheng's straightforward description.

Think about it, Zhong An said last week that he invited me to drink a milkshake, and in the afternoon he specially packed a strawberry milkshake that hadn't melted and brought it to me.Last week, I said to bring me the review outline for the previous period, and I ran home from school to pick it up for me at noon.Last week I fell in physical education class, and it was Zhong An who rushed up immediately and carried me to the infirmary.Although as soon as I delivered it, the others disappeared.

But these random memories, put together, do seem to have a deep meaning.

Gu Qingcheng listened to my intermittent description, and was about to shoot the case from the sidelines.He is categorical, what kind of red line do you need to draw like this, buddy decides for you!Following Zhong An, that's right!
I saw Gu Qingcheng planning for me so much, and I wondered if Zhong An had done him any favors, making him just want to sell me, a caring girl, as soon as possible.

But Gu Qingcheng didn't say that.

He said, Axi, how many years have we been together, who can beat you with me.

When I think about it, I think he's quite right.

We were both young when we met Gu Qingcheng, and Gu Qingcheng would often pull me to draw a picture together, write a bad doggerel or something.The gray painted wall at the door of the house is filled with the poetic and poetic feelings of the two of us back then.Gu Qingcheng often gossips with me about which girl in the class quietly brought him snacks again, and which girl in the class secretly followed him to watch him go home again.

So I held my head high in front of him, as if it all proved how irresistible I was, an upright good girl who was hard to be subdued.Apart from fooling around with Gu Qingcheng and destroying the sanitation around my house, I will definitely not flatter him and confess to him like those girls.

Puppy love is something I disdain the most.

Just like when he was just entering junior high school, Tao Jiang, who was in the primary school class, followed Gu Qingcheng all the way to a junior high school.Gu Qingcheng always complained to me that Tao Jiang gave him a game card and recharged his phone bill.How can he bear these.

I think Tao Jiang is too pitiful.

A good girl, followed him thousands of miles, from elementary school to junior high school, and later from junior high school to high school, she also worked hard to choose a school next to him. There are no two sentences.

It's not like me, for so many years, every time I meet a class, I'm lucky enough to be next to him.Sometimes even the test seats are numbered.

I think Tao Jiang must be jealous.

Otherwise, she wouldn't have come to me in the second year of high school, gave me a birthday present, and said that she always wanted to be my friend.

I'm not like Gu Qingcheng, I'm a Cancer who is gentle and approachable, so I had to accept the gift and play with her.If there is nothing to do, go home side by side.

Of course, how could there be a tall and straight Gu Qingcheng on the way home?

At the beginning, I walked between the two of them in a strange manner, but later on, I learned to be good.Since I understood Tao Jiang's intentions, I also understood that my friend was just playing the role of a matchmaker.I took advantage of the trend and walked close to the traffic flow. Tao Jiang walked on the side of the road, and Gu Qingcheng chatted with her more and more vigorously.I'm not interested in listening to it, I always doze off tightly.

If it wasn't for one day when Tao Jiang hugged me and cried and laughed, I wouldn't have believed that all this really happened.

It was also from that day that I realized that all the stories you thought could not come true were just your own efforts to despise the protagonists in the stories.

I confessed to Gu Qingcheng!

Tao Jiang hugged me.When I said this, I clearly saw the crystals in the corners of her eyes.

I think serious girls are actually quite beautiful.I think Gu Qingcheng should feel the same way.I broke away Tao Jiang's hand that was tightly holding onto my arm, thinking to myself, this is not the first time I have confessed, is there any need to be so excited?

It's not that I want to slander Gu Qingcheng, in fact, he has been quite stingy over the years.

He goes to and from school with me, and occasionally goes shopping on weekends. I often accompany him to buy snacks at roadside stalls. He rarely asks me, do you want it?

Later I also asked him why, Gu Qingcheng said straightforwardly, you don't like snacks.

I thought of Zhong An stuffing snacks into my desk every now and then, just like those girls who had a crush on Gu Qingcheng.Gu Qingcheng was spoiled, even the most basic gentleman's demeanor was weakened.We went to watch Jay Chou's concert together, he yelled loudly from the audience, I shrank aside, watching him look like a madman.

Later, I simply took out my phone and took a picture of him screaming.Those photos were later regarded by Gu Qingcheng as a thorn in his side and a thorn in his flesh. As a reward for not spreading them, Gu Qingcheng treated me to a Lanzhou ramen.

In the dark ramen restaurant, we ordered a tomato scrambled egg noodles.I repeatedly emphasized that one serving is too much for me to finish, and I will give you half.

Gu Qingcheng touched his flat purse, probably acquiescing to my request helplessly.

When the boss brought the noodles, it was already more than ten minutes later.I was so hungry that I picked up the chopsticks and sent them to my mouth.Gu Qingcheng yelled at the side, I haven't refilled the bowl yet, and you haven't divided me in half yet!
I said, then you ask the boss for it.

While talking, he chewed the ramen in his mouth, well, it was very fragrant.

Of course, the boss who was so busy jumping up and down in the end didn't take into account Gu Qingcheng's needs, until my chopsticks were stuck into my mouth for the sixth time, Gu Qingcheng finally couldn't sit still.He proudly broke off the chopsticks and shared the food with me.

I looked at him with a smile, so I don’t have to go hungry if I’m so refreshed earlier.

Am I afraid that you will despise me?Gu Qingcheng said.

Tch, how often have I disliked you.After I said this sentence, I immediately felt a feeling of "telling the truth after drinking"... I quickly shook my head to wake myself up.

For such a stingy Gu Qingcheng, I can hardly believe it, if one day he also has a girlfriend, what a state it will be.Maybe someone like Tao Jiang would find it romantic to eat a bowl of ramen together; maybe there are other girls who despise poor Gu Qingcheng as much as I do.

Oh, I almost forgot there is another possibility.

Maybe when Gu Qingcheng meets such a girl, he will suddenly want to treat her to a big meal.

It seemed to verify the truth revealed by Tao Jiang's unfinished words when he came to me.

(End of this chapter)