i like you for many years

Chapter 9 Humble (3)
How could Zhou Baoming understand that three years ago, I was already standing on the side of the road home, stopping every day, just to see him from a distance, wearing a white shirt and walking on the way home, just to have a quick glance.

Just one look, even for a second longer, I'm afraid that my eyes will be invisible under the blue sky and broad daylight.

I can't remember the reason why I fell in love with him long ago, but I remember that he always smiled unrestrainedly.At the class meeting, he had an exaggerated expression when he made every movement.But when he was quiet, he was actually very gentle and handsome.

This afternoon three years later, I was actually very satisfied to be able to talk to him a few more words.The two of us went to the commissary to buy some rolls of scotch tape.Then he said, I will teach you how to fold the boat, and you will help me fold it together.

It can be folded into a boat with scotch tape, which is the first time I have seen it.Compared with the paper crane lucky star or something, this is really special.I asked Zhou Baoming curiously, how did you do it?

She taught me.Zhou Baoming said softly.

My heart sank severely, maybe it was jealousy, maybe it was envy.But I didn't say anything after all.

The two of us worked hard all night, and finally stacked the 520 in the target.I volunteered and said, I will help you to deliver.

The next day was Qixi Festival, Zhou Baoming and I went to a boutique to choose a glass bottle, the boss deliberately teased him to give it to his girlfriend?Said also deliberately looked at me.I can't tell the taste in my heart, but there is still a hint of sweetness.After all, in the past, no one would involve the two of us in a sentence.

It's just this kind of connection that has made me happy.

Zhou Baoming didn't poke it, instead he smiled at me meaningfully, leaned over and asked, Weiwei, what do you like, I'll give it to you.

Good mood and confidence are written on the face.

I feel my heart beating in a tangle, but I try to suppress it.Pour the boat into a glass bottle, hold it and run outside.Leaving him at a loss, he turned around and said loudly to him while running, I hurry up!You wait for my news!

Unexpectedly, due to the traffic jam, I fell asleep in the car for three hours before arriving at my destination.When handing the bottle to Tao Jiang, she waved her hand to block it in front of the boy beside her.The bottle fell to the floor and of course shattered.The thoughts inside were also scattered all over the place.

She glanced at me lightly and left without saying a word.It's clear that he thinks I'm troublesome.

I shouted her name loudly in the back, thinking of Zhou Baoming's majestic smile a few hours ago, my heart was clenched together.

I really want to tell her, the people you don't care about, the things you discard like trash, are the most precious in my heart, even the existence that I can't ask for.

On the one hand, I was worthless for Zhou Baoming, and on the other hand, I realized that I was standing humblely at the bottom of this relationship, so even Tao Jiang felt that there was no need to explain to me, and he could just turn around and leave.

I squatted on the ground and picked up those boats one by one, and carried them home by myself.

I didn't know how to tell Zhou Baoming, so I had to hide at home first.I couldn't sleep that night, thinking of Zhou Baoming and I making tape boats together.His serious expression, even if it is for others, I am still so close to him.

I didn't sleep well for two days and two nights, and I went to look for him early in the morning on the third day with bags under my eyes. I had to tell the truth, I'm sorry, although the gift was delivered, she insisted on not seeing you.

Zhou Baoming didn't speak, his expression was ugly.

She was actually dating someone else yesterday! !I yelled loudly, turned around and ran back.Until I ran far, far away, stopped and looked back.Only to find that he has been following me.

Are you OK?I asked tentatively.

He said nothing, his brows were tightly furrowed.At that moment I really wanted to hug him.Like all the cheesy stories, I felt sorry for him, and I wanted to tell him that no matter who he lost, he wouldn't lose me.

God knows how much I want to tell him this sentence, God knows how many times in my little half of my life, I want to tell him, let him know.

But I can never do it.

I thought I was ridiculous, if I could have done it earlier, then maybe I was the one who confessed, maybe it was me before Tao Jiang got acquainted with him.But I am cowardly after all, before I have no way to ascertain his intentions, I dare not even say an ambiguous word.

Every time, I deliberately keep the distance between friends with him, lest he misunderstand my original intention.But he wanted to think about it very much, to perceive something from his words.

Unfortunately there is nothing.

He quickly regained his energy, laughed, and said, I have run so far with you, I am fine.

I looked at him and I knew that another opportunity had been missed.

Even if it is a very small probability, if I don't say it, there will never be a possibility of a comeback.I clearly understood, but I could only go along with his smile and say to him, haha, let me treat you to dinner as a comfort.

As I said that, I turned around and walked quickly ahead, but my ears listened carefully until I clearly recognized the sound of his footsteps.

Later, Zhou Baoming used the trick of stacking boats to get many girls.Every time after giving a gift, when a girl threw herself into his arms, he would always smile and say to me, look, what she taught me back then will last a lifetime.

I still smiled and agreed.

At this time, I no longer cared who the girl next to him was, because the girl he spent the most time with was already me.

I no longer have to wait on the side of the road to take a look at him on the way to school, because every morning, he will wait for me downstairs at my house.If I go out late, he will order rice noodles downstairs first.At five o'clock in the morning, it was just dawn, and when I went downstairs, he always turned his head and smiled and asked me, do you want to eat?
I shook my head and sat on the bench beside him and waited for him.After more than ten minutes, the sky was brighter again, and we took the bus to school by detouring the path together.

After getting acquainted with him, I realized that Zhou Baoming is a talkative person, at least in front of me.From three meals a day to celebrity gossip, and from social news to monthly exam rankings.But basically every time, he said and I listened.

After a long time, I heard that people who know how to listen are very popular, because most people have the desire to talk, but few people are willing to listen.I seemed to understand the reason why Zhou Baoming was willing to say so much to me back then, but I couldn’t help being a little sad. It turned out that it wasn’t because he was only willing to tell me, but because I was the only one willing to listen?
I remembered that he once praised me to his friends, saying that Weiwei has a good personality, and I have never seen such a good-tempered girl like her.

But he didn't understand at all, I have never had such a good temper in front of others.Just because this person is him, I like to listen to him talk, see any emotion, every expression of his happiness or sadness.

At school, he would spend time with each of his girlfriends, but during lunch break, or after school, he was always the first to come to me and say, Vivi, come home together; Vivi, Let's go online together; Weiwei, I want to go to the bookstore to buy books, you can accompany me... As time goes by, no matter where he goes, he will be the first to think of calling me to go with him.

Sometimes after school, when it was still early, we would walk home, chatting a lot on the way.Later I read a paragraph, it was written like this, maybe I haven’t contacted for many years, but maybe that’s okay, he always looks young in my memory, it seems that as long as I go back to that campus, I can find him, he is riding a bicycle in white Shirt with disheveled hair and a bright smile, he is still waiting for you there, handing you a cup of milk tea, you sit in the back seat of his car, and go somewhere together.

I will miss him very much, miss those years, whether walking or riding with him, we went to every street in the city together.He is the boy in a white shirt with disheveled hair and a bright smile. When passing by a milk tea shop, he will buy two cups of hot milk tea, give me one, and then chat and laugh together.

I have never been so good with anyone, so good that we are inseparable.

But is he still waiting for me there?
After Zhou Baoming's third girlfriend took over, our relationship became inexplicably cold.I called him, and girls answered several times.In the past, the days when we ate ramen together and watched performances together seemed to be disintegrated. I couldn't smoothly ask him out, even as a friend.

And after a few times, I simply got angry and stopped looking for him.

Until after the college entrance examination, I saw Zhou Baoming's new diary in his QQ space, and he was broken in love.I hurriedly dialed his phone.On the other end of the phone, he yelled at me fiercely, Jiang Wei, you haven't contacted me for so long, you don't consider me a friend at all!Now I don't need you to care!
I could tell he was drinking, so I called all his friends and finally picked him up from the bar an hour later.When he saw it was me, he kept asking, didn't you ignore me a long time ago?She told me, you think I value sex over friends, ignore me.I don't need you to come and see my jokes!

I couldn't laugh or cry, so I had to coax him all the time, desperately saying sorry, I knew I was wrong.

I've never said so many "sorry" to people.

Zhou Baoming complained all the time, Weiwei, if you ignore me, there will be no one to accompany me.No one is with me when I buy snacks, go to the supermarket, cut my hair, and when I go for a walk, play badminton, buy books and get glasses... Do you know that there is no one like you, even if you just do something boring with me, you Are willing to go.

I've never been more sad in my life than this moment.

It turns out that he has always known that he has always known that I am good.He knows that only I am still here, as long as he calls, I am willing to go anywhere.With his words, I really have a feeling that there are countless people in the world.

But I seem to have learned to disguise myself in front of him, otherwise I wouldn't let him be so close to me, but I don't worry that I will fall in love with him one day.

I pretended to be calm and asked him back, wouldn't you call your girlfriend to accompany you?

He shook his head and answered irrelevant questions, Weiwei, there has never been anyone like you, making me feel that even if I am broken in love, I don't have to be afraid of being alone.

That was the most memorable love story he ever said to me.

Let me treat it as a love story and warm it up.

I helped him into the taxi and took him to the riverside where we often go.We sat on the stone bench, and he suddenly became sober, and said, Jiang Wei, let me tell you, I failed the exam.

I was taken aback.

I may have to spend money to read three books, how about you?He paused, and if we went south and north, would you still come to see me?
I can't forget his shining eyes at that time.

On New Year's Eve in 2009, at midnight, I suddenly received a call from Zhou Baoming.It was an unfamiliar number, but as soon as he opened his mouth, I recognized the voice.

At that moment, I was so happy that I exploded, just because of the "Happy New Year" he was about to say.That would be the first blessing I heard in the new year, it came from someone I love deeply.

Weiwei, help me top up my phone bill.

what?
I'm going to call her later. I'm calling you on my mother's phone now. If I call her on my mother's phone, I'll definitely be suspected if I talk to her for a long time.Zhou Baoming hastily explained, hurry up, I'll hang up first.

After speaking, he really hung up the phone decisively.

Listening to the humming in my ears, and the joyous sound of firecrackers resounding all around me, I can no longer express my sadness or loss in a simple sentence.But I still turned on the computer, logged into Alipay, and hurriedly recharged his phone bill.

Afterwards, I sent a text message to Zhou Baoming, happy new year, recharged.

He replied, Weiwei, you are the best, happy new year, MUA.

I seem to have seen his cheerful appearance, and he smiled and said to me, MUA, give me a kiss.

He is always like this, he dances in front of me when he is happy, and suddenly calls when he is unhappy, complains to me, and then starts laughing and laughing again.On the night when the results of the college entrance examination came down, he called me in the middle of the night and cried for a long time.He cried until he fell asleep by himself, but I stayed up all night.

He once asked me why I was so kind to him, I said no, he asked again, you have to apply for a university with me, is it because you can't bear me?

I answered cautiously at the time, and I didn't do well in the exam either.

I didn't tell him my grades, I actually did well, but I still chose the school he went to.Even if I understand that I really did something wrong in this step, even if I want to laugh at myself for being stupid.

But I still have the luck to be so close to you.

In your entire youth, I will walk with you.Even if I can't get your affection in my life, I will definitely occupy your most special memory.

On my birthday a year ago, Zhou Baoming did not show up for the first time.The surprise he promised a week ago did not come true. I obviously waited until the last minute, but he never came.I turned off the phone and was alone in a daze.But I used to be so afraid of missing any call from him.

When tidying up the house, he turned over the 520 boats he had stacked and counted them one by one, and finally found that three were missing.The pain that had been accumulated in my heart for a long time seemed to finally find an outlet, and I hugged the pillow and cried loudly.

For so many years, I wanted to give him a hug when he was sad, but I never let him know.

When I walked behind him, I stepped on his shadow countless times, but it was destined that I could only chase after him endlessly.

Crossing the road with him, when there are many cars, he will pull my arm and run across the street.That was the closest moment in my life to him.But the road always has an end. The moment he let go of me, I felt like waking up from a dream.A dull pain like being hit in the chest.I rubbed my eyes, not wanting to think about it.

Two days later, I started to receive many text messages from him.Apologies don't count, he finally said, Vivi, you are my best friend.

When I saw this sentence, I was watching an idol drama, but suddenly burst into tears.It was raining outside, and I ran into the rain and got myself completely soaked.I ran down the street like a lunatic just to celebrate the word coming.

Seven years, Zhou Baoming, I have finally waited.How many long streets and alleys I have walked with you, I have seen you laugh and heard you cry bitterly.As long as you come to me, no matter who makes an appointment, I will accept it.

No one knows that since the summer so long ago, I have chosen a road that I can never turn back.

Even if you already have someone you like and I'm late.But I listen to you everything.Sooner or later, I will occupy an unshakable place in your heart.

In your life, I can't jump in line, and I can't reshuffle the cards.Then, just be the person who will not let you be alone all your life.

At the end of 2012, I followed suit to watch an idol drama that was popular on Douban.There is a line in the play that goes like this, I spent my whole life learning one thing, possession is the beginning of loss, but in the end I still can’t learn it.I have no way to accept that if you have youth, you have already begun to lose your youth; if you have a marriage, you have already begun to lose your marriage; .Owning love, oh my God, losing love is even more unacceptable. Why do we lose what we pursue all our lives when we have it.If I don't have it, then I have nothing to lose, do I?

I think of you, Zhou Baoming, now do you know why I don't love you?Because possession is the beginning of loss.

A year later, we were preparing for graduation internship together. Zhou Baoming called me early in the morning and asked me to accompany him to buy a new computer, and then he invited me to dinner.We went to the small shop we often go to. I ordered his favorite sizzling potatoes, and he ordered my favorite garlic beef.

Zhou Baoming, I have a boyfriend.I said.

Then what should you do if you value sex over friends and don't look for me?Zhou Baoming pursed his lips, but I couldn't get even a trace of jealousy from his eyes.

I can't understand this very well. Someone once asked him, why are you and Weiwei so good but not together?

But he suddenly laughed and looked at me, and I quickly concealed my panic and smiled at him agreeingly.Hearing him say, we are too close, we are not used to it, right Weiwei?

With just one sentence like this, I know where I am.In fact, it has always been, if I just want to confess to you, then I will go early in the morning.If I just want to fall in love with you, we should be like this, even if you don't love me, you must be willing to cooperate with me, three or five days?How many girlfriends have you had, and you can't even remember the names of each of them clearly.I know that if I beg you, you will allow me to be in love for a few days.

But after all, you have no love for me, but I don't want to become a passerby with your lover one day.

Some roads, as long as you take the first step, there is no way to turn back.

(End of this chapter)