i like you for many years

Chapter 8 Humble (2)
She would still go to school with Wen Lan, or escape her parents' search and hide in an Internet cafe together after school, would still go shopping with her on the rest day, and would still accompany her to choose gifts on the birthday of Wen Lan's favorite so-and-so.On a snowy day, he also waited with her for an entire hour downstairs at the boy's house.

In the month of Gu Chaosheng's birthday, Wen Lan prepared a transparent glass bottle as a gift.

After everyone's gifts had been delivered, she stuffed the gifts into the plastic bag he was carrying on the bus home together.Gu Chaosheng wanted to take it apart for a look, but she refused and insisted that he go home and then take it apart.

He just laughed at her, and it wasn't a confession, so why be so mysterious?

She said, why is it not a confession, it is a confession.

After talking, he got out of the car, and then walked left and right.

And that bottle is actually full of all kinds of beads.It was Wen Lan who lingered in too many small shops to choose one by one, and each one had the abbreviation of the name of the girl he once liked and was still deeply hidden in his heart.

Of course not Lin Xiyao.

This should be regarded as a secret that only Wen Lan knows, his secret.

But she also knew that there must be other girls with more special gifts, and it was impossible for him to personally understand how she went to find those beads one by one.

Of course, in fact, being treated as a joke by him is her ultimate goal.She didn't want him to guess her heart, so she gave such a gift with double insurance. Even if he noticed her intentions, she only had to smile and say "Look, I know you better".

Who would think that a girl who has a crush on her should give herself the name of her rival as a gift?
But there is such a silly girl, her wish is very small, she only wants that the boy she likes with all her heart can keep something related to her forever and never throw it away.

In the days to come, even though there was a distance between them, there was still such a thing to remember.When she imagines the furnishings of his room, she will be sure that there will always be a corner where the gift from her will be collected, and it will be dusty with time.

In the year they graduated from high school, Gu Chaosheng and Lin Xiyao were no longer "trying to be together", but were so close to each other that they couldn't be separated.Wen Lan remembered that one night before graduation, Gu Chaosheng called her.It was almost 1 o'clock in the morning when she picked up the phone, but only heard Gu Chaosheng calling her name in a hoarse voice, followed by a low cry.

The phone call lasted half an hour.

The whole process was just Gu Chaosheng's crying, he didn't say anything, she didn't ask anything, just cried enough with him, she said, you should rest early, it's fine.

He didn't answer anything and hung up the phone.

Wen Lan didn't know if Gu Chaosheng fell asleep that night because of exhaustion, but she herself couldn't fall asleep, and stayed in a daze until dawn.

She didn't need him to tell her that Lin Xiyao had finally managed to occupy the place in Gu Chaosheng's heart.

A trace of sourness quietly rose in Wen Lan's heart.Sometimes she couldn't help but assume, assuming that she was the one who confessed to him that evening many days ago, would he be willing to give her a chance?

But she knew very clearly that he would never do it.

Sometimes she wished she hadn't been so stubborn, not so persistent, not so rational.If she is willing to believe that as long as she has courage, she can overcome love, will God arrange another encounter for her?
There is no certainty in this world.

Two months after graduation, Wen Lan didn't contact Gu Chaosheng. He heard from a good classmate that he and Lin Xiyao had broken up.I also heard that he brought it up without even giving her a reason.

When the summer was coming to an end, Gu Chaosheng began to come to Wen Lan frequently and asked her to go shopping together. Under the hot sun, he handed her the ice cream he bought, one for each of them.

They went to a boutique together, she took a fancy to a wallet and asked his opinion, he said it was not bad, so she paid for it without hesitation.Just because she felt in her heart that this was his suggestion, she was willing to listen.

Gu Chaosheng said that it has been a long time since I went shopping with you.

Wen Lan smiled lightly, yes, you are so busy, you forget your friends when you see sex.

Gu Chaosheng stopped talking.

Until later, the two of them hid in the Internet cafe, blowing the chilly wind from the air conditioner, Gu Chaosheng said, Wen Lan, don't you have a blog?Teach me to build one too.

Wen Lan pulled a chair and sat down, instructing Gu Chaosheng to report the user name, password, and a series of information beside her.She helped him edit the template, and then got up to change to a computer and log in to her blog.

After a while, Wen Lan said, let me add your link.

OK, Gu Chaosheng said, I just finished writing the diary.

There was no sadness in his voice, but after Wen Lan clicked in, he saw that his diary was full of Lin Xiyao.His regret, his reluctance, and his reluctance to repeat the same mistakes, even if it is only a few sentences without writing about specific events, can make Wen Lan feel sad for a while.

She remembered that she was always like this, and she could clearly remember that he didn't eat parsley, celery, or leeks, and even because of him, she no longer touched these foods.Wen Lan remembers that once a group of their friends went to eat cold noodles together. When the boss asked if he wanted coriander, Wen Lan couldn't help but shouted, "I don't want two servings!"Gu Chaosheng asked in a daze, how do you know that I don't eat coriander?Wen Lan didn't look at him guilty, and just said, of course.

She remembered his likes and dislikes, and knew his expressions and reasons when he was happy and unhappy.

She can accompany him, but cannot comfort him.

On the eve of the start of the university, Gu Chaosheng went to the station to see her off. He carried her heaviest suitcase of luggage, and her parents followed behind. They all said that Gu Chaosheng was her good classmate for many years and the most sensible.

Gu Chaosheng also smiled politely.

In the end, he was the only one who insisted on buying a platform ticket and told her parents that it was no problem for him to carry it in for her.After finishing speaking, he walked in the front alone, beckoning Wen Lan to follow behind, and helped her carry her luggage onto the shelf.Then she sat down on the spot, unscrewed her mineral water bottle, and took a few gulps without hesitation.

The two sat facing each other, and waited until the conductor came to urge the passengers to get off the train. Gu Chaosheng stood up, and he said, Wen Lan, we will go south and north in the future, so will you come to see me in the future?
His eyes were shining, gentle and beautiful.

This was the only time in his life that he showed her such an expression.

Wen Lan froze for a moment, and said, yes.

Later, he only left her a back view.

As the train started, Wen Lan tightly wrapped her arms around the mineral water bottle, and stared at Gu Chaosheng who was drifting away from the window without blinking. After all, he would not watch her go outside the window like other girls' boyfriends .

She took a sip of water.

The fog outside the window was getting thicker and thicker, and she finally couldn't see him.

After a long time, Gu Chaosheng sent a text message, asking if Wen Lan still liked XX, Wen Lan briefly mentioned it, only saying that the impression faded.

He didn't ask any more, and said that it was not bad to meet a girl at the opening ceremony, and maybe he would chase her.

Unprepared, her tears immediately crackled on the back of her hand.

He still has to fall in love with someone else after all.

Wen Lan has always hoped that he would stop believing in love because of the old wounds, and she also knew that he would always come out, but when things really happened, she still felt that it was really a little too fast.

It was so fast that she hadn't had time to forget him.

She sent a text message, I will find you tomorrow, a friend's birthday two days ago, I came to play.

Gu Chaosheng agreed quickly.

And she skipped class to buy the train ticket that night, and went all the way to his city. On the train, she remembered that when he took the bus with her, he always told her that the chick on the bus was a thief , Which uncle in the car, you have to be careful.

But this time, he wasn't there.

So when she got off the train, she found that her wallet was gone.

It was the pale gold wallet that she insisted on buying that he said was beautiful.

She searched in place for a long time, and even got on the car again, and sat back to the starting point.Back and forth twice, of course, she still couldn't find the bag.Like, after so many years, she couldn't find her complete heart.

Aman said, if I have someone I like, I must let him know.

Ajaan said, if I have someone I like, I must make him like me too.

Ahua said, if I have someone I like, I must try my best to let him know, and then make him like me too.Because as long as you confess, there will always be a slight possibility, a little chance.

Even if it's just a tiny bit of light.

However, if you know from the beginning that the person you like will never like you, he will not give you any hints in the eyes, will not smile at you ambiguously, and he will have nothing in front of you. Talking about liking another person with scruples, do you still have the courage to confess?

He can go shopping with you, sing K, eat all over the snack street together, discuss exam questions together, study together how to cheat without being discovered, get up early together and go to the stadium for laps and laps; he can accompany you in the name of a friend Do any boring thing, pass one afternoon after another unaccompanied; he can pull your arm across the road without any scruples, but he will never touch your hand; he can accompany you to other boys' dates , can advise you, can tell you what kind of boy is worthy of love; he can cry in front of you, but he can't say he likes you, he can't say love to you.

Gu Chaosheng, Wen Lan knew from the very beginning that you wouldn't like a girl like her.Whether it was her ignorant appearance, messy hair, ugly school uniform, or the clothes she wore later, you said they were beautiful, but at that time there was always another girl by your side, she still could only do Your little follower.

When you were in junior high school, you liked three girls, but in the end you only had a three-year agreement with one of them.But then you succeeded in overturning this. You fell in love with someone else, but you were with Lin Xiyao.When you secretly talked to Wen Lan about the girl in class that you couldn't catch up with, you didn't know how sour and sad she felt.How much she hopes that you, who she likes deeply, are a single-minded big boy, and even like the girl she likes single-mindedly, and then she can completely lose her thoughts about you.But you just gave up on Lin Xiyao and fell in love with someone else.

She thought, after this, there will probably be countless others.

Until the end of the story, you went to eat shaved ice together, and she ordered your favorite yellow peach flavor for you, but you didn’t know that what she liked was actually vanilla, not strawberry, which most girls would like.

She was carrying a big backpack and passed many small shops with you, stopped in one of them and listened to Zhao Wei's song you like for a while.Then she said that her afternoon train was about to leave.

But you don't know, she's only been in the city for a few hours.

Standing in front of you, Wen Lan bit her lip, then raised her head and asked you, Gu Chaosheng, do you no longer like Lin Xiyao?Have you also forgotten the girl you liked in junior high school and promised to wait for you for three years?
You froze for a while, but the regretful expression she expected didn't appear on your face, but just smiled lightly and said, it's all over.

She asked persistently, then the girl you are chasing now, does she like you?

This time, you were not hit by her, but instead made a face at her with high spirits, you said, no problem!
Wen Lan didn't answer any more.

After a long time, even the alarm clock set in her pocket rang, and you saw her more serious expression, so you didn't say much.Wen Lan took out her phone and pressed it, and finally said, she doesn't like that you change your mind when you see someone different, or that you like every girl you see.So she decided to break off with you.

She said it swearingly, so serious that she convinced herself of the reason.

And you, after thinking for a while, nodded.

You say, that's good.As he spoke, he took out his cell phone and deleted her call in front of her.

You turn your head and stride away without looking back.

So of course you can't see the girl behind you gritting her teeth to hold back her tears, and you can't see her lowering her head and hugging herself hard.You actually believed this reason. Of course, how would you know how long she has liked you? She is as familiar with your shortcomings as she is with her own inexplicable habits.But she never felt that there was anything wrong with these.

She is with you all the time, always showing up after a call from you.

After you cried, she secretly hid and cried for you.

But this time, she just wants to really leave you, to leave this secret love that will never come to fruition.She came to your city alone, waiting for your answer without any suspense.

Later, Wen Lan always thought of the song that fit her mood very well, and she thought, Gu Chaosheng must have never heard it.And she never heard of him again.

The last line of that song is sung like this, this heart that bleaches for you, belongs to friends for many years and has nothing.

The more I understand you, the more lonely I am with you

The soul is so beautiful but I can't touch it
No matter how hot the feeling is, moths can't catch the fire
Is it possible to stay close to your dream without getting lost
——Yu Kewei "Good Friends Are Just Friends"

I will never have the chance to turn my head in the classroom and see him grinning brightly at me like before.There is no chance like in the past many years, when I received his call in the deep night, I ran to the park to meet him, sat on the lawn and chatted with him all night.

I used to be afraid of losing you
On the Christmas day before 2012, I lay in the quilt and listened to songs. I was very happy to hear what you said, and even my shadow was smiling when I was close to you.

I fell asleep listening to it.In a daze, I had a dream.

In the dream, I went back to my middle school classroom. The classroom was densely packed with people, but the faces were both familiar and vague.I instinctively searched for Zhou Baoming's face, but no matter how hard I tried to search, it was all in vain.

I couldn't find him, but I didn't dare to look at everyone openly, so I could only secretly use my peripheral vision to identify them one by one.A female classmate came over to hold my arm affectionately, and pulled me all the way to greet each other. I was so confused that I couldn't seem to hear what she was talking about until she said clearly that Zhou Baoming and Tao Jiang were together. Don't you know?

I was shocked. In the dream, I felt that I hadn't heard from Zhou Baoming for a long time.The phone in my pocket beeped, and I took it out to see that it was a text message from Zhou Baoming.He said, isn't it cold for you to stand alone in the corridor in such a snowy weather?The news you heard is true, I hope you will not be sad.

I was surprised, how did he know that I came to the corridor alone? Could it be that he is in the classroom?But I tried to look in, but I couldn't find him at all.I became more and more anxious. I pressed the phone keypad hard to reply to the message asking where he was, but I couldn't beat the cold weather, and my fingers were so cold that I couldn't do anything.

Struggling, I woke up suddenly.

The moment I woke up from the dream, I looked at the empty and dark room, recalled the text message in the dream, and tears rolled down my face.Not to mention that Zhou Baoming wouldn't explain it to me at all, even if he did, he would never know, I'm sad.

At the end of summer, Tao Jiang wrote a letter to Zhou Baoming. When she handed it to me, she whispered to me, don't let others see it.

I squeezed out a very thin letter paper, but I didn't ask too much.Zhou Baoming opened the letter, and then made a bitter face.That was the first time he showed a sad expression in front of me.In the past, I was their little follower, and he was always smiling in front of her, and I liked to peek at his smile very much.

let me help you.After a long silence, I suddenly spoke.Of course Zhou Baoming didn't know, I peeked at the breakup letter.

In the three years before that, Zhou Baoming and I never got along alone.Every time I help deliver a letter, I complete the task and turn around and leave.I'm afraid that if he stays for a second, he will see through his mind.

The "Koran" says that if you ask the mountain to come over and the mountain cannot come over, then you will go over.

After waiting for three years, I finally got the chance to say something unobtrusive to him, I will help you.

(End of this chapter)