dream back to qing dynasty

Chapter 58
For three full years, the wedding night was the beginning of my happiness, but I never thought that the end result would be like this.I leaned quietly on the slum in front of the window, trying to feel the already cold warmth.

This is her favorite place, it seems that from time to time she is seen leaning on the slum, either holding a book and reading it with relish, or holding a cup of tea and looking out the window thoughtfully, but the eyes are always It is with such peace and contentment that I often calm down my angry, restless, or restless heart.

"Oh, you jumped up here without washing your hands or face, it's so dirty." Every time I sneaked up on the slum to scare her, she would say this softly, but the smile on the corners of her brows and mouth It can't be covered, it never cares whether I'm covered in sweat or covered in dust, they just hug me so softly but tightly.

"Xiaowei", I murmured, my eye sockets were hot and uncomfortable, but I didn't have a single tear, I twitched the corners of my mouth dryly, from the day Huang Ama told me that she had been executed, I There will be no more tears.Xiaowei, do you know, I always thought that with your company, I would smile so happily, but only now did I realize that without you, I don't even have tears.

My thoughts couldn't help but drifted back to that dark night... "Why! Why! You know that she didn't do it, why did you make such a decree? My mother is gone for no apparent reason! Now even her you Don’t let it go! Am I not your son! Why do you take away the only thing I have..." I knelt on the cold stone floor and roared wildly, even forgetting that my most beloved was in front of me. Huang Ama, who was also the most afraid, felt that all the grievances and pains she had endured over the years came to her heart all at once.

The ridicule and framing of the ninth and tenth brothers, the ignorance of the eldest and eighth and fourteenth brothers, and the contemptuous eyes of the servants in the palace, passed by my eyes one after another, and I couldn't help clenching my fists. Only after watching the fourth brother survived step by step.The fourth brother propped up my sky with indifferent but practical actions, but Xiaowei, she warmed my heart.

"Pa", a heavy slap landed on my face, and a trace of salty smell slipped out from the corner of my mouth. There is some anger, but the eyes are not as piercing as before, making people dare not look directly at them.

"You bastard", Huang Ama's voice seemed to be squeezed out of his teeth, he paused, and turned his back slightly, only his back was slightly heaved by his breathing.I suddenly realized that Huang Ama seemed to be getting older again. Did she have so many white hairs on her temples before, and her hands behind her back looked so thin, and my heart softened.

"No father would harm his son..." Huang Ama suddenly said in a low voice, which was inaudible. come.The old man who looked a little old has disappeared, and the proud and majestic Emperor Kangxi who lived his life in martial arts and martial arts was still in front of him. I felt a bitterness in my heart.Under the indifferent and proud stare, I couldn't help but lower my head, but the pain, unwillingness, and despair in my heart made my body tremble uncontrollably.

It seemed like a long time passed, and it seemed that it was only a moment, when Huang Ama's slow but hidden voice sounded from above her head, "I also asked her, have you thought about what you will do in the future?" My heart was pounding. She jumped up, raised her head like a lightning strike, and looked at Huang Ama without blinking: "Xiaowei, she..."

Huang Ama narrowed her eyes slightly, and stared at me firmly, but her eyes seemed to penetrate my body and looked away, "She said, two evils are the lesser," Huang Ama slowly said After finishing speaking, he closed his eyes, and the expression on his face seemed to be a little uncomfortable.But every word and every word so lightly, it seems to put my heart in the gap of the door hinge, slowly crushing it.

"Husband and wife are one body, so why separate each other", Xiao Wei's smiling but firm words on the wedding night made me proud in front of those brothers for so long. I thought it was a vow to grow old together, but now it has changed. It became Ji language.For a while, I only felt that my eyes were hot and swollen, but my heart was burning like I just took a handful of caustic soda, and the bubbles burned my heart one by one, "Xiaowei, it's not worth it, you are not worth it"...

There was a sound of footsteps, I raised my head subconsciously, and vaguely saw Huang Ama standing in front of me, he stared at me silently for a while, then turned his eyes and said lightly, "Then don't let her die." It's worth it." After finishing speaking, he turned around and went out without looking back.

I knelt straight on the ground, my numb and painful knees were already numb. Thinking of Xiaowei’s words and laughter made my heart warm, and thinking that I would never have such warmth again made my heart shudder. cold.Just like this, the constant heat and cold made my heart start to numb.

A familiar smell of sandalwood came over, "fourth brother...", I shouted hoarsely, and a slight sigh came from behind, I only felt a somewhat cold hand gently Gently stroked from my forehead to my braids, and landed on my shoulders again, pinching hard.

I turned my head slightly to look at the pale, cold and firm hand... that is the only thing I will have in the future. There was a "pop", and then another, I watched in a daze as tears fell on my shoulders and skirts and on the hands of my fourth brother. It turns out that I still cry.Ever since I was beaten up by the tenth brother and the others and cried in the arms of the fourth brother, I haven't cried at all, ten years, or longer...

The fourth brother walked up to me slowly, lowered his body slightly, put his hands on my shoulders, and looked at me level.In the blur, I could only see the fourth brother's face was as pale as snow, his lips were also pale without a trace of blood, only those dark eyes were still full of firmness and... the pain that could not be concealed.The fourth brother stared at me for a long time before saying, "Good brother, forget about it", his voice was hoarse as if it had been rubbed by sand.

I just felt that my heart was blank, and I forgot... How could I forget? I stared straight at the fourth brother. It even made me feel a little painful, but the pain comforted my heart, fourth brother, he also hurts.

"If you can't forget one day, it will be ten days. If you can't forget ten years, it will be one year. After all, you will forget..." The fourth brother said in a lower voice, as low as a thin rope, strangled On my neck, it made it hard for me to breathe, and I couldn't help but reach out and tug at the collar.

The fourth brother returned his hand and held my wrist tightly, it was as hot as fire, completely opposite to the coldness just now, I struggled a bit, but didn't move at all.He stared at me stubbornly, "Old Thirteen, even if Fourth Brother begs you." I shook my hand back, "Fourth Brother, I can't forget one day, ten days, one month, one year", I forcefully Grinning, the fourth brother's hands trembled, "Maybe one day I will forget, but before I forget, how should I live."

The fourth brother was startled, opened his mouth again and again, but he couldn't say a word. My heart ached even more, and I said again, "fourth brother, how long did it take you to forget", saying After I finished, I regretted it, his face became a little transparent for a moment, and after a while, he stood up staggeringly, and for a while, the only silence in the room was our heavy breathing.

The feeling of heartbreak and regret made my head heavy like a stone drum. I lowered my head and listened to the footsteps of the fourth brother moving slowly towards the door. After a long time, the reason was that the fourth brother had already left. He said in a hoarse voice, "It turns out that fourth brother is sorry for you", and after finishing speaking, he turned around and walked out.

I froze there, but at that time I really didn't understand what Brother Four meant...

It didn't take long for Huang Ama to let me out. I just drank, rode a horse every day, or just had nothing to do, leaning on that slum for a whole day.The fourth brother came to see me once, saw me half-drunk and invited him to drink, turned around and left without saying anything.On the contrary, the old fourteen came once, and there was no ridicule in his eyes, but an inexplicable sense of loss.

I knew very well that the dispatch order was probably written by him, but in front of me, I didn't even want to look at him. I was just drinking alone. I don't know when he left. I don't care too much.

After spending a period of time in this way, one morning, Xiao Taoer gave me a piece of rice paper with red eyes, and opened it with shaking hands. Looking at the familiar characters, my eyes couldn't help but swell again, "In the world There are only desperate people, there is no such thing as despair", I read it gently, over and over again... When did she write this, could it be that she had expected this day?

Looking at the grimace painted on the inscription, I couldn't help laughing. She always does this. Every letter to me has different grimaces drawn, smiling, frowning, sticking out her tongue, etc. all like her.I couldn't help rubbing that grimace with my fingers, as if it still had her temperature on it, it was left to me by her, I understand...

When the fourth brother saw me again, he couldn't help being a little surprised. Seeing me greet him with a smile, his eyes turned red. He, who doesn't drink much, actually drank with me all afternoon.Goodbye indefinitely, I glanced at the imperial decree I put aside, I didn’t want to say anything, I just wanted to stay down-to-earth with my fourth brother for a while, he also became more and more silent, but there was always two points of pity in my eyes and guilt.

I have never understood the guilt. I knew that the fourth brother had knelt for a whole night outside Yanbo Zhishuangzhai in order to save Xiaowei, and he went to beg the concubine Defei for my affairs. I should be the one who felt guilty. Yes, from the day I asked Xiaowei for a promise.But I don't want to ask him, Fourth Brother understands my heart, and I also know that the best way to repay Fourth Brother is to help him get what he wants.

"Huh", I exhaled softly, I carefully folded the piece of rice paper in my hand, and put it against my chest, watching the plum tree outside the window covered with half-ripe fruits.I can't help but think back to the time when Xiao Wei picked the fruit there, rubbed it on her body and put it in her mouth. Regardless of Xiao Tao'er and Qin Shun'er yelling, she said with a smile, "Haven't you heard of it?" , not clean, and you will not get sick if you eat it."

"Hey", I couldn't help laughing, stood up, walked outside the house, went under the plum tree, reached out and picked one, rubbed it on my body, bit it down, it was bitter and astringent, but But it was sweet in my heart, and in a trance, I felt that Xiaowei seemed to be not far away from me.

"Master, master", not far away, Qin Shun'er ran towards me out of breath, with a strange flush on his face, his expression seemed a little distorted.I couldn't help being a little amused, and suddenly remembered that this servant mentioned that I didn't pay attention to the fact that a new show girl came in today. He had already gone to do it early in the morning.

I couldn't help laughing at myself, a prince who has been imprisoned still has such ostentation...Xiu Nu, I was slightly taken aback, my heart suddenly became hot, I held my chest, Xiaowei...

Seeing Qin Shun'er getting closer and closer, the expression on his face was ecstasy, could it be... "There are only desperate people in this world, there is no such thing as despair", I muttered, and the fourth brother suddenly flashed in my mind That sentence, "It turned out that the fourth brother was sorry for you", the fourth brother...

My heart beat faster and faster, I turned my head and caressed the slightly swaying plum tree, Xiaowei, really, is that you...

(End of this chapter)